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Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Maryland
Home country: United States
Member since: Tue Jan 10, 2017, 01:27 AM
Number of posts: 12,059

About Me

I was on DU for years as Underground Panther. I am 54,a non binary,demi asexual,transgendered person with a feline soul. I am a Satanist chaorder, ceremoniaI sorcerer. I despise republicans and thier"beliefs"and the crap they call a political platform. They are scumbags. I love cats I do many kinds of art,love history philosophy,magick, among many other things. I love to explore the unknown. I have a sweet black and white cat named Othello. I am Very glad to be back on DU.

Journal Archives

This was made in 2007

How much has changed?

What a way to go.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sun Mar 1, 2020, 11:31 PM (5 replies)

I have had

Scatiatic nerve pain for 3 days at night I pop 800 mgs of Motrin and two roybaxin put on a heat pad and I spend half the evening crying and occasionally screaming. It goes away in the day,but for three nights it's been torturous. How long should I put up with this? I have back injuries but they didn't affect my leg this way. The pain is less right now, distracting myself with DU.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sun Mar 1, 2020, 02:09 AM (37 replies)

Anybody seen the crazy

Prices for masks? On Amazon some are going for 400 and some bucks, WTF.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sun Mar 1, 2020, 01:58 AM (7 replies)

Fucking sonovabitch orange baboon

Fucker decimated and fired and unfunded the CDC.

I hope fuckface trump catches the coronavirus and dies.

He is responsible for the slicing and fixing our country with cuts,firings and his hatred of
science competence knows no bottom.

Fuck you trump

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Wed Feb 26, 2020, 08:15 PM (34 replies)

I am sorry for putting posts

That should be in the primaries group to GD. I thought the primaries group was for official stuff and announcements for the primary,not a discussion group.

I did not understand which group to post in.

Thanks you Duers for steering me into the correct group for certain posts.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 24, 2020, 12:30 PM (4 replies)

Tweaking about Bernie's health

That asshole dick Cheney had a few heart transplants and a pump for a heart while in office. It didn't kill him. That bastard is still alive.

I'm sure Bernie will get top notch care. And he will most likely be okay. Cheney's implanted hearts died and he got a pump implanted but nobody considered taking him out of office because of health reasons.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 24, 2020, 01:54 AM (6 replies)

I'm so sick of people

Bashing Bernie.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 24, 2020, 01:22 AM (14 replies)

Yesterday was awful

Like usual I went to my program yesterday. It's a PRP.

There is a client there that is a toxic
Narcissist with lack of any empathy.He lies, brags and basically tries to suck all the air out of the room. He is a vindictive abusive piece of shit.

The staff ,I dunno if they're lacking education or expertise.. but they let this monster of an asshole abuse people he targets.

Yesterday he targeted me.He targets me alot because he sensed correctly I have a trauma history.

Another time he attacked me when he showed up was more subtle than yesterday but no less cruel to me. He kept talking about puke after I had a panic attack because I was scared when someone said they were sick and gagged a few times I was freaking out because I was trapped in the van. I have emetophobia. He does this kind of shit everytime he shows up. There is an obvious pattern in his behavior.

Back to what happened yesterday..
I was riding home on the van after program. I was in the the first big seat he was in the back seat.
Usually he's a really loud talker.

He was talking in the van and no one had interest in what he was saying apparently. Then he shut up. I was still talking to the other clients on the van not even thinking of him.Suddenly out of the blue he attacked me verbally,(I'm transgender/ they)

He called me It, I have been called It since 6th grade which was part of the torture chamber called school. It hurts me. He was claiming everyone at program calls me an It. He said alot of abusive shit .Doing deliberate provocation.

He was very cruel kept saying cruel shit at me.. I told him to shut up and he was verbal abusing me. As he hurled all this crap at me even more. I got triggered because I have been through a shitloads of abuse growing up . I was trying to stop the trigger he kept it going so I had enough and I called him a narcissitic piece of shit and that he is an asshole and to shut the fuck up once more.

He claimed I didn't know what a narcissist was.

I said yes I do, just by observing your stunning lack of empathy your verbal abuse and outright cruelty proves you're a narcissist.

By that time the van driver cranked the music.

He backed down for like 5 minutes.
Than he started the shit out of his mouth again.

I told him to shut up and to stop it.
He was deliberately using a lie that
I was interupting him as an excuse to attack me ,and he was seeking out my triggers on purpose.

He kept needling me all the way home. He was deliberately provoking me.

I don't want to leave the program. It helps me most the staff are decent. But if they don't rein this asshole in I will have to go. I can't take that shit it makes my illness worse.

But staff does not give him any real consequences for his behavior. I wish they'd kick his ass out. Program was good before he showed up. The pattern of abuse is glaringly obvious to me.

I would be beyond happy if he was kicked out of program forever.

I know some other people would be happy to see him go because they get his shit too. And some people that needed help have stopped going to program because of him.

He has the same case manager as I do,and he is not there for me.
I suspect my counselor wants to excuse his shit I think it's because of his beliefs to forgive. I have been trying to change counselors for like 2-3 years.

He told me on the phone when I called him because my coping mechanisms were not working yesterday,he implied he would not judge his behavior and implied I should forgive him after that? No I'm not ready to forgive that butthole. This is what I thought to myself as he appeared to tell me to tolerate his shit.

My counselor when he was director tried to slip religion into groups he has run. I called him out on it. I asked him in the group why does a psych program who gets funds from the state endorsing specifically christian beliefs? I am not christian and there are other non christians here they shouldn't have staff teaching religion when we are here to learn and help our illnesses,right?

Now the program does not insert religion in groups and Gary got demoted. Gary is a willfully ignorant fool IMHO. He too has a pattern of willful ignorance.

One of my freinds also left program because of this narcissist verbal abuse.He tore into her when I was out a rare time because I had gone to Virginia because my mom died last month. He targeted her because I was not there. Most clients don't stand up against him.

My friend she needs the program she gets really stressed out and goes to me for help.
There has been rapid turnover of clients because of him. I worry about the people who never show up anymore. I hope they're ok.

This asshole shows up the exact minimum days to stay in the program. But Everytime he shows up there is something abusive he does to someone. I go every Tuesday and Thursday like clockwork because program helps me handle my illness. It's helpful when he is not there. I never know when he comes in.

This creep lives in my apartment building too. He has only been here about a month .He has not been around when I go for my walks thankfully.

If he dares approach me and abuse me verbally like that outside of program, I will walk away first. If he follows me or threatens me I'll warn my landlord of his abusive behaviors.
If he hits me first he will wish he was dead.

What do I do in this situation?
Sorry about the wall of text.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Wed Feb 19, 2020, 12:20 PM (10 replies)

Othello my cat

Just figured out how to post an image

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 17, 2020, 12:22 PM (21 replies)

I am a cord cutter

And I have a mohu leaf antenna I bought 4-5 years ago.

As of around December I lost some channels and it pixilates often,sometimes less.

Certain times of day tv is unwatchable because of pixilization.

Do antennas get old and stop working? Do antennas ever need updating?

What antennas work better?

Do I need the anti interference thing?

I live in a second floor apartment.
My antenna is on a slight northern mostly east direction.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sat Feb 15, 2020, 01:46 PM (10 replies)
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