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Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Maryland
Home country: United States
Member since: Tue Jan 10, 2017, 01:27 AM
Number of posts: 12,059

About Me

I was on DU for years as Underground Panther. I am 54,a non binary,demi asexual,transgendered person with a feline soul. I am a Satanist chaorder, ceremoniaI sorcerer. I despise republicans and thier"beliefs"and the crap they call a political platform. They are scumbags. I love cats I do many kinds of art,love history philosophy,magick, among many other things. I love to explore the unknown. I have a sweet black and white cat named Othello. I am Very glad to be back on DU.

Journal Archives

Wintery mix

Took pics of the forest outside my apartment.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Fri Feb 25, 2022, 10:48 AM (5 replies)

I feel like a bad cat daddy

I got busy cooking dinner tonight. I had some beef roast converted with a mallet into sorta steak.

I added garlic,onion pepper and montreal steak seasoning. After it was done and I settled in to eat,Othello gave me the "there's nothing for me too?" look.

I felt awful.
Couldn't share the steak because onion and garlic.

But than again it might have just been sniffed and the nose turned up yet again.

But I felt guilty anyway.

Now hes curled up next to me,and I feel worse.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Thu Feb 24, 2022, 09:04 PM (5 replies)

DU dont forget

Every tyrant narcissistic piece of shit becomes powerless instantly when he has no enablers.

No bystanders.
No enablers.
Thats how you stop a tyrant.

They are really just a human like any other. Two eyes two hands etc.

The tyrant just has an evil personality and is a common control freak bully. A weak little man.
Using others to do his fighting for him.

Just remember this.
Integrity matters.

Discernment and observation matters.

The right use of anger and force,even deadly force applied at the right time to the right target matters.

The tyrant and his enablers lead how far he goes and how swift and severe the response to his behaviors are.

The tyrant will not stop being a danger to others until he dies.
He won't ever admit he was wrong.And they never change.

Observe the danger to others and democracy he is.

Closest enablers are to be treated to what the tyrant gets.

Machivelli as disgusting as he was had some valid points about fighting traitors and thier enablers. .

Freedom from tyrants begins with you. Like it always had. Stand tall with your allies and take no shit.

Have courage it matters.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Thu Feb 24, 2022, 12:51 PM (0 replies)

Good night

Othello told me to get to bed an hour ago. My eyes are too tired to read now.
Thank you everybody,for being here.

I hope Ukraine kicks pooty's ass all over red square.

I can hope can't I?

And let it not become WW3.

Good night everybody.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Thu Feb 24, 2022, 03:17 AM (0 replies)

I want to go.

I have spent day after day alone.
The future looks so scary to me. I feel so powerless
Everybody has someone they can be with,talk to,share the journey. I dont anymore. Im just here waiting for nothing.
Breathing cleaning my apartment. For no reason.

Chance and accidents have left me empty. I have nowhere to go. No reason to go. The loneliness is slowly killing me. I tell myself it will get better and it feels like I'm lying to myself.

Life tortures life.

I am old. I am alone most days almost all of them.
I wish I was in another place,where I could escape,go somwhere different,make new friends.

Its all out of reach.
Nobody socializes in this town this complex. I reach out but no freindship occurs.

I need someone to hold me and tell me its all worthwhile.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Wed Feb 23, 2022, 11:08 PM (31 replies)

I put my cat's name

Through an anagram generator..Othello.

Hell too..
Ooh tell..

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Wed Feb 23, 2022, 01:35 AM (1 replies)

I miss my old therapist

Laurie. She was so kind to me,helped so much.
The therapist I have now doesnt know how to treat trauma. All she does is give me new age religion.

I dunno if it has dawned on her Im not the believer type and positivity think has no bearing on reality no matter how much you tell yourself it does. Abd karma is just more religion.

I feel like shes scared of the darkness inside me,scared I dont believe,scared of my anger and scared I can feel hate.

She avoids these topics.

Laurie helped and accepted it as part of my past I needed to work through. Laurie said the first time I met her that she accepts my anger and I burst into tears in the damn hallway. Laurie didnt push CBT down my throat as if its a cure all. For me CBT it feels like manipulation,denial and it makes me angry and unable to trust my current therapist.

I asked my current therapist to help me find a trauma therapist
She was useless.she says its better to just move on from the past. I never heard something so stupid in my life.

I have PTSD and dissociative identity how in the hell is denial gonna help??!!

I'm about to tell her to listen to me,if she cant listen,to even the darkness well I'll have to seek out a therapist.

And I will tell her how incompetent she really is before I go. And back it up with actual psychology.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Wed Feb 23, 2022, 12:22 AM (5 replies)

I just heard on my local news

Baltimore channel 13

That the jan.6th commission is not going to persue the investigation regarding the documents case regarding tfg..

It was a quick one sentance statement.

What the fuck!!!
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Tue Feb 22, 2022, 06:43 PM (9 replies)

I have decided

To wean Othello off wet food. I cant afford to try and try different foods every few days.

I know he likes his kibble a mix of fancy feast with garden greens,the filet mignon one and purina one sensitive stomach.

He never barfs from the kibble. He likes it and its not got me switching foods every 3 seconds.

So when I get the new cat that kitty will be a kibble cat too.

Rustle,Sparkle Bear and Vinny all ate kibble they all lived to become really old. No health issues except for Rustle he got cancer when he was 14.

Plus the flavor guessing game with Othello is getting really old and causing my anxiety to get worse . I hate throwing out perfectly good wet food. Donating what's leftover after the weaning to the local shelter. Done with this shit.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Tue Feb 22, 2022, 05:17 PM (8 replies)

A disturbing thought.

When pootin declared his kill list, he said he wanted to kill people who are part of minority religions,anti putin activists, leaders that oppose him, and GLBT people.

Who's on the fascist magats fantasy kill list..?

Minority religions,Democrats,
liberals,Biden,various Democratic government people,and GLBT people.

Funny thier list of who they'd destroy is the same as pootins? Fancy that.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Tue Feb 22, 2022, 01:13 AM (4 replies)
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