Life in magastan

At store couple in front of me dude wearing confederate hoodie wife I assume is was wearing trump 2024 t shirt fuck me they paid the bill with a snap card socialism what in thee fuck.

I thought these fucking pigs feel social fucking lism is evil.

Vet gave boog the chocolate menace of universe a thumbs up

Vet mentioned boogs weight gain boog was like you know man he’s a quack it’s my freshman fifteen pounds I said boog it’s pandemic twenty six pounds your eleven and arthritis ridden.

Ok man are we stopping to get a cheeseburger the rules are always go to vets be good boy we get a burger fuck that calorie deficit shit as he licks me lovingly and sits leans into man in truck.

So I told my wife and boys cut out snacks mister just can’t move and exercise like he used to.

So I read on Twitter about the guy who was hit by a rental car

He said it Hertz.

My wife told our sons the only child that will never grow up and move out

Is your father boys.

Married life in a nutshell from a husband's perspective

Anything you say can and will be used against you

I would like to point out I am weak when it involves animals

The boys have been volunteering for school at no kill shelter.

Today the guys showed my wife and I picture of a momma pup that her pups are almost 8 weeks old. Looking at pics I’m like you know just maybe saying to my wife. And my wife is like no we have dunk and mr big paws and chocolate lab menace of the universe I am weak.

Happy thanksgiving vets now we start the war on Christmas

Tonight we ambush elf on the shelf see you all in assembly area 21:00.

Reminder Dash one will be writing and giving the op order and then we have to take the crayon away from him cuz last time he ate our only crayon.

Looking for someone to call on my burner phone

Dam kids they make fun of their youngest brother dunk the golden retriever pup

Sitting on couch dunk is trying to hold paws with me reminding me hey man you going to share remember we’re a couple he loves pizza crust.

The boys tell me 17-18 year old dad dunk is your soul mate more so than boog he is your late in life anchor baby. I said knock it off we’re having your brother birthday celebration he just turned 17.

Then I said to dunk don’t worry my little bambino come April for your second birthday dad will grill his favorite boy steak 😉

Do you know how to tell if you are in maga country

You notice toilet paper drying on the clothes lines.