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Member since: Fri Mar 24, 2017, 06:48 PM
Number of posts: 483

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The Blog Site is Finally Live/Some thoughts on Snowflakes...

Hey y'all!

The blog website is up and running! I wanted you folks to among the first to know! Check it out:


All the old rants are there, plus some fun new stuff you haven't seen before. Stop by, let me know what you think.

And I wanted to thank everyone here at DU for your support...I never would've taken this plunge without you! Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoy the site!

I wrote a little something different for the launch. (We'll be back to the rant/roundups soon enough, trust me) There a couple of points that will make more sense on the site, as they involve links, but here ya go:

Ever been called a "Snowflake?"

'Course you have. That's the go-to play in the Cult45 toolkit. "Go back to your SAFE SPACE, SNOWFLAKE," screeches the little Trumpkin, who then high-fives himself.

I get a kick out of it, personally. Hey, if y'all want to whoop and holler, you have my blessing. To me, it's a little bit like Bart Gunn talking shit on Butterbean after this, but go ahead, gloat your faces off.

The idea, near as I can figure it, is that we're...what? Fragile? Ineffective? Wilting and weak, melting away at the slightest exertion?


Have y'all been paying attention these last few months?

You've got Fat Q*Bert in the White House and GOP majorities in both Houses of Congress, and yet, they've managed nothing but defeat after humiliating defeat. The pages keep flying off the calendar, and, improbably and hilariously, they have not one significant legislative accomplishment to their credit.

Now, why do you suppose that is?

I'll give you a hint; it starts with S and rhymes with "Toe Cakes."

I remember, as I'm sure many of you do, being absolutely fucking terrified of Donald Trump wielding the power of the American Presidency. Two days after the election, he's tweeting about protesters being paid and incited by the media...fucking hell. This is some straight 1984 shit, he's trying to rewrite reality in real time. And if anybody has the power to get away with that, it's Goddamn President of the United States, right?

And worse still, watching his approval ratings climb in those early days following the election..."My God, he's gonna wipe his ass with the Constitution, and the people will cheer every step of the way."

Scary motherfuckin' days, weren't they?

Looking back now, the better part of a year later, I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass and say things are great (they aren't) but...well, at least it's not as bad as it once looked like it could be.

Not for want of trying on Il Douche's part, God knows. That dime store dictator came out with both (tiny) fists swinging.

Right out of the gate, Racist Travel Ban, holy fucking shit. Smallhands Magoo climbed atop the Resolute Desk and shouted "Let's see what this so-called Constitution of yours has GOT, bitches! COME AT ME, DEMOCRACY!"

And when the courts said, "Not so fast, you Turd," he attacked the entire damn judicial branch. Fuck only knows what might've happened if we hadn't stood up and said "BACK AWAY FROM THE CHECKS AND BALANCES, SCUMBAG!"

But we did stand up.

Do you remember that weekend, friends? Looking back, that's maybe the point in time when we started to turn this thing around. Do you remember the thousands who unhesitatingly rushed to the airports to join the protests? Do you remember the lawyers offering their services, pro bono, to the victims of Stephen Miller's wettest dream?

We told every one of those would-be autocrats that night, that we weren't havin' this shit. We let 'em know we were not going to sit meekly at home while this sack of shit and his goons tore down everything that makes this nation great.

And if we hadn't...if we hadn't stood up that night...where would we be today? The President is an authoritarian bully at heart. He was gonna keep pushing and pushing until somebody stopped him, and if nobody stopped him...fuck. I mean, we'd find out soon enough about the illegal behavior of some customs agents in those chaotic early hours...who knows what could have happened if we hadn't drawn that line in the sand, and held it.

Well, we'll never know. Because we DID resist. And Miller can whine and bitch about how the President's authority "will not be questioned" all he wants. We questioned. We pushed back. And we won. (To be clear, a watered-down version of the travel ban has since been enacted, but this was still a major setback in the regime's assault on the rule of law.)

In the end, the institutions of our Democracy will only ever prove as strong as the people who prop them up when they're attacked.

Well, we keep on turning out to prop them up, don't we?

Not bad for a buncha whiny Snowflakes.

We've turned the entire Democratic Party into a full-time, steam-powered, shit-kicking, Trump-resisting machine. Remember what happened when Elizabeth Warren voted to confirm Ben Carson as HUD secretary? She was playing the conventional politics of the day as she understood them, but We the People said "Nah nah nah. RESIST EVERYTHING. And not only Warren, but every Senate Dem went from "we'll work together where it makes sense" to "You get a fat fuckin' plate full of nothing, and you'll like it."

Because they followed us.

They. Followed US.

And the result? Lil' Donnie Second-Place wound up spending what little political capital he could claim just getting his cabinet confirmed. Days of brutal headlines just for the sake of his shitty Education Secretary. That Puzder guy backed out altogether. (bet you forgot about that one, didn'tcha? SO MUCH WINNING WE CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE WINNING.)

And Donnie's been trapped in a downward spiral ever since.


Can you reach back through the past nine months worth of unabating chaos to last winter, when Paul Ryan and co. woke up and realized "Holy fuck we can do whatever we fucking WANT," fantasizing about having a bill repealing Obamacare on President Shartcannon's desk to sign ten minutes after the inauguration ceremony?

I tell you what, Resistors, I know it's felt like the Bataan Death March so far, and we've got a long, brutal slog still in front of us, but let's take a moment here to enjoy a good sturdy gut laugh at that little bit of conservative hubris.

Golly, that was brutal fight, wasn't it? But we refused to allow their preferred narrative to take root. (Remember Tom Price's sad little attempt to issue his own "score" to compete with the CBO's?) We kept the focus, unrelentingly, on the millions who'd lose their access to health care, and the thousands who'd lose their very lives.

...and we beat 'em. The number one Republican priority for years, the thing they've been salivating to destroy from the moment of its creation, they had the votes, and they couldn't get it done.

And how'd that happen?

Snowflakes, brother, SNOWFLAKES. We protested, we called, we marched, we faxed, we gave those Republican congressfucks such an earful at their town halls that most of 'em won't even hold the damn things anymore, we gave them no peace.

When the dust settled, Ryan and McConnell were unable to deliver any bill, however "skinny" to Shartboy's eager-if-tiny hands. Half the year was gone. Hundreds of House members suddenly found themselves on the hook for a "yes" vote on a piece of shit bill with 17% approval that didn't even become fucking law. And the headlines blared "GOP Can't Govern."

For Snowflakes, we certainly get shit done.


If I can get back to those duelling CBO/Price scores for minute...that's actually a fantastic example of this administration's increasingly desperate campaign to reorder reality to their own liking when reality is inconvenient. If the CBO score sucks, well, just pull your own number out of you ass!

Insidious as such behavior is, you certainly understand the appeal it holds for this bumbling swarm of serial fuckups. In the real world, the Trump regime is a catastrophic failure, almost comically ineffective, historically disliked and disapproved of, unable to either walk OR chew gum, Sarah Sanders' repeated protestations to the contrary notwithstanding.

So Drumpf tweets away, imagining he's circumventing the media, building an alternate universe where every derogatory story is "fake news," where he's adored and admired by all, where he's accomplished so much he's the envy of the gents on Mount Rushmore.

Horrifying, that the President of the United States would assault the very truth itself in such brazen fashion.

But, encouragingly....it ain't workin'.

Oh, there's always going to be a dedicated, if dwindling, army of rubes, happy to be told it's raining as those Russian hookers piss on their legs. He'll be able to fool some of the people all of the time, sadly.

Too many. Millions. But not the majority. Indeed, as polling shows, the Shart's War on Reality is backfiring; in his desperation to destroy the media, he's only shredded his own credibility.

Now, how'd THAT happen? With all the power of that bully pulpit backing him, why hasn't Trump been able to mold the narrative to his liking? Why doesn't America believe him when he tells us he's the Hottest of All Possible Shit?

It's those pesky Snowflakes again.

You're not the only one with a Twitter account, Shart-Shart. You're not bellowing unopposed into a void, you've got millions of Resistors riding your ass all damn day long. We fact check you in real time. We show the world you're not merely a liar, but a pathetic, ridiculous one.

And so the assault on the truth has gone about as well the assault on Obamacare. Poll after poll shows the American People recognize their President for the dishonest shitsack he is. And for all his attempts to tear down the media that holds him to account, we trust them more than we do him.

In Trump's War on Reality, we're the foot soldiers opposing him. With every fact check, every article we share, we create more and more space for the truth, pushing the fake news further to the fringe. Oh, and every time a new story in the Russia scandal breaks, we spread it around the world within minutes. If people didn't care about these stories, they'd fade away; instead, they keep the regime mired in scandal.

And so, left exposed in the harsh light of the real world he's so desperate to avoid, Trump's day of reckoning grows ever closer.

One more touchdown for Team Snowflake.


Y'know, It really does matter that we keep the Drumpf so historically unpopular. A popular president would have repealed the ACA months ago. A popular president commands his party's loyalty, and can even peel off vulnerable members of the opposition when he needs them. Not Donnie, though. The Manchins and Donnellys were never in play during the health care fight.

Remember when KKKris KKKobach popped up with his little Voter Suppression Brigade, demanding every state hand him terrifying amounts of voter data wrapped up in a pretty pink bow? And how almost every state in the union, even Republican ones, said Shove it Up Your Cheap Fascist Ass, Kris? Maybe that doesn't happen without weeks of steady, heavy, and most of all successful resistance. Maybe if we hadn't turned out at those airports to resist the travel ban...who knows?

Shit, poor Dean Heller can't figure out which way is up anymore.

It's actually difficult to imagine a less powerful President. No one fears or respects him, no one.

And who made that happen?

Shit, you don't even need me to say it anymore.

I'm not saying everything's waffles and blowjobs these days, far from it. The executive branch in this country is stupid fucking powerful, and damage is indeed being done daily. Steve Bannon may be gone, but his merry little band of administrative state deconstructers at the cabinet level - DeVos, Pruitt, Price, Carson, and Tillerson in particular - are tearing our government apart like so much confetti, and it'll take years to clean up the fucking mess.

If it takes years, so be it. We've got what it takes to hang in there, however long our country needs us to. I see people pop up from time to time, worried about "outrage fatigue" and all that, but we haven't worn out yet. If anything, we've got the wind at our backs.

We are IN THE MOTHERFUCKING STREETS, folks. We march, and let me lay this out nice n' slow for John Kasich, who likes to shoot his fool mouth off about how he can't figure out what Democrats are FOR:

We march for women.

We march for Black Lives Matter.

We march for science.

We march for DREAMers.

We march for the environment.

We march for LGBT rights.

We march for health care.

We march for labor.

We march for each other. For our mothers and fathers, our sons and daughters, our friends and neighbors, for people we've never met, and never will meet.

We march for what's right. For what's decent.

We march so fucking much we're burning through sneakers quicker than George Soros can buy 'em for us. (That's a joke, all ye angry Trumpkins.)

And when the President of the United States calls for HIS people to turn out in the streets?

Crickets. With the massive megaphone at his disposal, he turns out a handful where we've turned out MILLIONS.

If you haven't noticed, he's stopped even trying.

And when he travels, he doesn't book the enormous stadiums anymore. No, the venues keep getting smaller, and he can't fill even those.

But it's more than that. We're the ones financing the ACLU and the SPLC as they fight these bastards in the courts. We're the ones subscribing to every newspaper we can get our hands on as their journalists break story after story, burying the corrupt fuckwads in crippling scandal.

(That's why I get an extra little kick out of the "Paid Protesters" trope. Like, Little Man, we are FUNDING this Resistance.)

So call us Snowflakes if you wanna. If it makes you feel better while we grind your Idiot Manchild President's administration to a virtual halt, go right on ahead. Call us whatever your precious little hearts desire.

We can handle being called names on the internet. We're battle-tested now. We've got scars. Maybe even an eye patch, but it makes us look cool.

We know there's always another job to do, another fight to win. That's fine. We know how to win these fights now. Next, we're going to stop this massive tax giveaway to the wealthy. Then we're going to drown this idea that the government will ever EVER fund Shartboy's Big Stupid Wall in Grover Norquist's bathtub. We're going to resist every dime these fucks try to cut from the safety net.

We'll lose a few, but we'll send the entire collaborating Republican Party sheepishly skulking before the midterm electorate with their failure-filled resumes. The map is tough and the gerrymandering is potent, but we're gonna send a whole bunch of these fucks scuttling to the private sector.

And in 2020, we'll take the White House back, most likely from Mike Pence, and undo every single thing Trump and his shitty cabinet did.

Because we're not just Snowflakes, we're Patriots, fighting to restore the great country we love so very much.

We're the American People, and we've never been stronger.

History's gonna need a bigger dustpan.


Oh, one last thing for all you trolls giddily tossing your silly little snowflake insults about:

We get it. You hate us. You watch tv shows and listen to radio hosts and read websites that screech at you all day long to hate us, and then you turn around and give your money and your votes to folks who laugh at you and never do one fucking thing with the power you give them other than make rich people richer.

And as your SCROTUS has attacked the press, the judiciary, the Congress, the intelligence community, the Justice Department, you've cheered every bit of it, which...is actually fantastic. It's stripped away once and for all the veneer that you give a damn about this country and its people, and your entire ideology stands unmasked as simply Fuck the Other Team.

Awesome. So we're taking Patriotism back from you, forever. We're claiming the Constitution, too, and next time you try to invoke it, we'll remind you how eager you were to flush it down the toilet, just to protect the cheap crook you admire for reasons that elude us, and how giddy you've been to surrender our precious freedoms to this least worthy of wannabe despots.

See, before last November, we really wanted to believe the best of you, that you were just victims of the ten thousand grifters prowling around in the right wing media/political complex.

We didn't understand how genuinely nasty y'all are. We took our eye off the ball. We thought there was no way this Dry Cat Turd of a Man could win the White House, because...well, because we believed too much in the fundamental decency of Republican electorate. Surely, with all their loudly-trumpeted Christian values, they couldn't possibly back this pussy-grabbing, charity-robbing, vendor-stiffing, race-baiting, Nazi apologist! It would betray everything they claim to believe in!

Well. Now we know.

Now that we understand just how low you're willing to go, just know...we're never taking our eyes off you again.

You've successfully transformed a generation of casual political junkies into lifelong activists. Congratulations.

We'll stop the next Trump before he can get started. And we'll never, ever give you fucks the keys again.

You can set your fuckin' watch to THAT.

Thanks folks! Don't forget! Showercapblog.com!

Buckle up, folks...this one'll take awhile...

What the SHIT, y'all? The news this week is like they took the guy from the Munch Scream painting and crucified him to a live yak with a staple gun. And then they turned the yak loose in a china shop.

You got floating gangs of fire ants rampaging through Houston, Wells Fargo's setting 'em up with fake accounts, Alex Jones says they're Phony Crisis Ants Paid by George Soros, and Erik Prince wants to hire them to take over the Afghanistan War.


Fine. Let's start muckin' through this shit.

The EPA inspector general will be looking into Scott Pruitt's extensive taxpayer-funded travel between D.C. and his home state of Oklahoma. Don't tell Mrs. Pruitt, but I hear Scotty 2 Haughty's got himself a little oil well on the side.

That's not a metaphor, by the way, it's a literal oil well. That he fucks.

The Marmalade Shartcannon touched down in Houston to survey the damage from Hurricane Harvey, and -

Wait, that's not right. Houston voted for Hillary. Drumpf went to Corpus Christi, he won there. And it was miles from all those soggy, desperate, suffering folks. This way was better. He wouldn't get any mud on his too-long necktie, and he wouldn't run the risk of instinctively ordering his Secret Service protection detail to instantaneously deport any shelter-seeking brown-skinned he happened upon. (John Kelly had warned him that would look bad for the cameras, and had made him write it 25 times IN CURSIVE before he was allowed his second scoop of ice cream.)

Anyway, the outing turned out to be more fun than Lil' Shart-Shart imagined! He got to throw himself a little rally, and talk about how big his crowd was, and he didn't have to meet any victims at all! As an added bonus, he even found an opportunity to advertise his crappy hats! BUSINESSMAN MAGIC!

Somehow he managed to lie about something the entire fucking world watched him do, claiming he saw the the devastation first-hand when...I mean, how else can I end this sentence?...when he...just...didn't. At all.

Of course, he also told the press that Finland bought billions of dollars worth of fighter jets from Boeing, and, again...that was not a thing that actually occurred in real life.

From the depressingly-necessary So-Evil-You'd-Think-It's-Made-Up Files, ICE has requested permission to destroy documents relating to silly little trifles like solitary confinement, sexual assault, or the death of human beings in their custody.

Maybe we can work out some sort of compromise, where ICE agrees to keep digital records, but they're allowed to shred any docs stained with actual human blood. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHY DOES ANYONE FEEL COMFORTABLE EVEN ASKING THIS QUESTION IN 21ST CENTURY AMERICA?

Anyhow, the Hip New Trend in Republican politics is VIOLENT THREATS! A Georgia GOP doughboy suggested that a black democrat could "go missing" in the swamp if she kept advocating for the removal of Confederate monuments! Haw haw haw!

Not to be outdone, an older, crustier Missouri fellah, ironically named "Warren Love," suggested a statue vandal be strung up from the nearest tree, cuz disrespecting his Shitty White Guy Supremacy culture is a CAPITAL OFFENSE, got it? TRAITOR STATUE > HUMAN LIFE.

Speaking of jagoffs, two of America's Most Punchable Turdweasels are fighting! Chris Christie sez Ted Cruz is an asshole for his disaster-funding-for-me-not-thee hypocrisy and Cruz sez Christie is an asshole for...pointing out how full of shit Ted Cruz is?

Boys, you're both complete and total rectal boils. You're two of the worst men in the whole fucking country. You should meet in the middle, shake hands, and leave the United States forever, you pathetic, dishonest, cheap, goons.

Princess Ivanka managed to disappoint the handful of rubes who somehow haven't seen through her bullshit yet, backing her dad's reversal of an Obama-era equal pay rule. Though she does support allowing women to spend an equal amount of Daddy's money as her two idiot brothers. Word is, she's seeking congressional sponsors for her Roll Back Eric's Allowance Act.

And Eric's trying to gin up (not THAT gin, don't get excited, Steve) sympathy for his Scumfuck Dad, whinging that all the criticism might make him "suicidal."

Hey Eric. Considering your Pa's shitty policies have led to real people committing real suicide under ICE detention, you can just sit in the corner and fuck yourself. Forever.

Hey, didja see Jim Bakker threatening to start a Civil War if his God Emperor gets impeached for his many crimes? Look, Jimbo...you can start your war if you really wanna, but the Drumpf coalition is down to just the most gullible rubes, so good luck marshaling your Dumfuck Army.

Shit, all we'd need to beat y'all is a fake Craig's List ad, saying John Podesta hired a bunch of fake revolutionaries to infiltrate your base and Jade Helm ya when you're not looking. You'd take care of yourselves in twenty minutes.

Speaking of our country's seemingly limitless supply of fake Christians, I see a bunch of Evangelicals decided a massive humanitarian crisis was the appropriate backdrop for a big "In case you forgot, we sure do hate LGBT folks" announcement.

Great. I bet Kim Davis bought a cupcake to celebrate. In the future, when you call something a "Nashville Statement," you fucking well best have unearthed some unreleased Waylon Jennings tapes, you fucks.

Julian Assange, having grown sick of the stale Andes mints in the Ecuadorian Embassy (GET IT?) recruited Putin's favorite Congressstooge, Dana Rohrabacher, to swap one of them sweet sweet Presidential pardons in exchange from Dorito Mussolini's favorite thing: Being Told What He Wants to Hear. And now Dana's maybe getting hauled before the Senate Intelligence Committee, the poor goon.

Dumbass gave a speech about "tax reform." Like every other Republican in the country, it was all hot air and horseshit the comes down to "Giving our donor class a fat sack of money, and maybe the rest of you can go out to Red Lobster once, so long as you don't order drinks or dessert."

Betsy DeVos hired another fox to guard another henhouse? Yeah, yeah, that's what the government does now, I guess. Rex Tillerson's deconstructing WAY more of the the administrative state than YOU are, Betsy, bet you're jealous!

In what is either the pinnacle of human cluelessness or perhaps just gerrymandering-born hubris, some within the GOP apparently want to repurpose a billion bucks worth of disaster funding to build Shart Garfunkel's Big Stupid Useless Wall.

I say go for it, just be sure to hold your rollout press conference in Houston.

On the Russian investigation front, things are going...ridiculously bad for Team Shart. Like, supporter-character-in-a-slash-flick bad.

We found out Bashful Bob Mueller's done a little teaming up with New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, pooling info and resources in digging through Paul Manafort's long career full of shady dealings. Since the President can neither pardon state-level crimes, nor fire a state's AG, this had to set a few sets of knees a-knockin'.


And somebody's leaking random words now, from Manafort's smartphone notes from the famous Don Jr Fuck YEAH I Wanna Collaborate with Russia meeting. Words like "Donor" and "RNC" allegedly in (lightning strike, ominous piano chords) CLOSE PROXIMITY!!!!

I dunno. Words? Is that all? What next? Adam Schiff and Devin Nunes on a Ouija Board?

On the other hand, the Russian-American lobbyist from the meeting has testified before Mueller's grand jury, according to reports, so we're finally getting these fuckers on the record under oath. Shart, Jr's big interview's just around the corner. Let the perjury changes, and accompanying witness-flipping, begin at last!

Speaking of Jr, I guess President Gout called up Chuck Grassley, chair of the committee that's about to interview his idiot son, just to shoot the breeze about how much he fucking loves ethanol. "Oh yeah, Chaz, I'm rubbing it all over my body even as we speak. Can't get enough of the stuff." I only hope Robert Caro sticks around long enough to document the life of this Zen Master of the Art of Politics.

Not everyone's happy with Rugged Robert's progress, of course. The folks over at Fux Nooz are all "Unnnnnh. It's been SIX WHOLE MONTHS, haven't you gone through the decades worth of financial crimes yet? Get this shit over with, it's not like anyone's a Democrat or anything."

...in an alternate reality (which am I fighting like hell to get to), Gowdy Doody spent the day bellowing on cable that Democrats are using hurricane relief efforts to distract from BENGHAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Also, the Wall Street Journal tells us the Velveeta Urinal Cake's legal team has been passing Mueller notes during class saying stuff like "Did SCROTUS obstruct justice yes or no," but they've already checked the no box, or "Who're you gonna believe, the career law enforcement officer everyone trusts, or the guy who gets caught in fresh lies every other week?"

I bet that works, guys. Keep it up.

Ooooooo...what's this now? Late from the Daily Beast? Mueller has joined up with the IRS' Criminal Investigations Unit? And they're walking in slow-motion down some hallway together, looking all badass, like maybe Mueller's taking his tie off and tying it around his head like a bandana?

This likely means the investigation has access to those mysterious, elusive tax returns. SEXXXXY.

And Sheriff David Clarke resigned today, to spend more time opening Cracker Jack boxes in search of new shiny baubles to pin to his shirt.

Wait, look out. Politico reports Sheriff Dave will join the Drumpf administration soon, because Donnie Darko doesn't need to see the rest of your resume when you've got "We killed a man by denying him water" and "A baby died in my jail. A FUCKING BABY" on top.

Bloomberg gave us a deep dive into the Kushner family's massive debt problem, and BOY HOWDY are those idiots good n' righteously fucked.

Anyway, it's totally normal, and totally safe, to entrust a massive chunk of our nation's foreign policy, and also to grant high-level security clearance, to a dude with no diplomatic experience and hundreds of millions of dollars in debt that he seems completely incapable of paying off? I mean, there's no WAY the scion of a notoriously corrupt family would barter away the national interest to get out from under HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF DEBT, RIGHT? RIGHT?

Well, America, you wanted the government run like a business.

A Fox poll sez that 40% of Americans and a horrifying-if-unsurprising 75% of Shart voters believe the media is a bigger threat to America than white supremacists. Right after a white supremacist terrorist drove a car into a crowd of Americans, and fucking MURDERED ONE.

Roger Ailes, wherever he's burning right now, created history's most effective brainwashing apparatus, the evil fuck. We've known for awhile now the indoctrination runs so deep as to be logic-proof, but holy shit...it's TERRORISM-PROOF? No wonder we can't get that approval under 30%, these drones remain unmoved in the face of terrorist murder. Fucking hell.

Speaking of the Rube Army, the Twitters blew up with a bot-led kerfuffle about people gettin' all pissy about Obama golfing during Katrina, which of course happened before he was president. Meanwhile, some far-right site used a years-old photo in an attempt to make people think Black Lives Matter protesters obstructed rescue efforts in Houston.

Again, a lot of this is trolls and bots, so don't waste your time yelling at a Russian tweet-computer. On the other, this stuff trickles down to the kind of cheddar-brained moron who shoots up a pizza joint because he thinks Hillary Clinton runs a child sex slavery ring out of the basement, so...heaven help us.

Our dirtbag Treasury Secretary's making some noises about walking back the commitment to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill with Harriet Tubman, because Money is for White Folks in this administration. That guy's such a Mnuchbag.

Having utterly failed to improve any Americans' lives* during his time in office, The Man With Phalangeal Stunting seems to have decided to go in the other direction, hard. So now he's simply using every mechanism at his disposal to hurt the people his base hates, in the hopes that nobody in the Rust Belt notices the factories and mines aren't reopening so long as there are no transgender soldiers navigating mine fields outside Kandahar.

In addition to the transgender military service ban, Fox tells us Baron Poostain Harkonnen plans to end DACA, as soon as this week. Even warned of the economic consequences, Shartboy is absolutely desperate to throw a "win" to his base, the Shittiest White People the 21st Century Has to Offer.

Speaking of hurting people, Tom Price's HHS department announced massive cuts to Obamacare outreach programs, because the United States government doesn't want its citizens to know about the health care they're legally entitled to.

Had to read that sentence over a few times...nope, it's true.

Is this, finally, what conservatism has come to? "No, we can't solve your problems, but we can fuck with other people's lives so much that your situation looks better by comparison?"

Perhaps fearing he had too much support, the same President who makes the Secret Service pay to piss at his golf courses on the weekends announced he's cutting the federal workforce's coming raises. Just taking a little money out of thousands of families' pockets, no biggie. All while calling for a massive transfer of wealth upwards via a tax cut which will benefit himself and his shitty, shitty, kids.

And a late-breaking WaPo report, sourced by the usual bajillion anonymous staffers and friends, says Smallhands Magoo is getting all mad at his shiny new Chief of Staff, John Kelly, who makes him behave like a big boy, and doesn't let him see his Klan buddies, even though he can still sneak around and call Steve Bannon when the mean old "Church Lady**" isn't watching.

There's more. Always. People are quitting at State, quitting the RNC, quitting the President's cyber security panel. Chemical explosions rock Houston. If fully expect a number of Kaiju to emerge from the seas any day now, to do battle in our greatest cities.

...maybe I shoulda paid more attention that that scruffy fellah who used to come to my campus and yell that the End was Near.

This is the part where I'd normally say I need a drink, but that would not be true tonight. I need eight drinks.

*Ok. Joe Arpaio. I'll grant that ONE.

**Yes, there are members of the team governing our nation who refer to General Kelly as "The Church Lady," because he wants run President to act like a goddamn grown-up, it is a fucking MIRACLE we're not all wandering around an apocalyptic wasteland right now.
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