The thousands of troops who are being deployed to the streets of Britain will just be there to let off party-poppers, Boris Johnson’s cabinet has confirmed.

The government has insisted that the sight of armed soldiers on Britain’s streets should not be a cause for alarm, nor an indicator that Brexit isn’t going quite as well as hoped, but instead to instil a sense of patriotic celebration of the countless wins of a no-deal Brexit.

“People seem to be obsessed with chalking every little hiccup up to Brexit, instead of being immensely thankful to live in a country that has fully taken back control.”

He said, “The troops are there merely to hang out bunting, set off party poppers and fireworks, and maybe do a bit of cake baking for all the street parties that should definitely be happening right now as we experience the wonderful results of telling all the EU workers to go back to their own countries.”

He went on, “It’ll be brilliant, just like the spirit of the Blitz that everyone seemed to go on about.

"At the dog park in Brooklyn with my fiancé and this white woman was threatening to call police and told us to 'stay in our hood' because she had our dog confused with another dog who had been barking loudly," Joseph wrote above the video on Twitter. "So, I started recording and she tried to slap the phone out my hand."

The video shows the woman giving Joseph the middle finger and swiping at his phone.

"Stay in our hood? You just told us to leave the dog park and stay in our hood?" Joseph asks the woman in the video.

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"I hope Emma learns from this," he added. "I hope that other people learn from this who engage in abusive, racist and destructive behavior, because ultimately, whether Emma lost her job or not, it doesn't take away the trauma that my fiancee and I have. It doesn't take away the feeling of feeling like anything racist can happen anywhere, so I don't think people should be coddled, and I do think that consequences are important, so hopefully this is a learning lesson for everybody."

This kind of framing of the Supreme Court largely absolves Mitch McConnell, his allies, the justices, and their unprecedented actions. There is a cause and effect and these are the central players in the drama. The press has a duty to tell this story.