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Member since: Fri Nov 24, 2017, 08:34 AM
Number of posts: 775

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Column: Donald Trump's Inauguration Day letter to Joe Biden: An exclusive (very real) draft

As outgoing President Donald Trump refuses to attend President-elect Joe Biden’s inauguration this week, becoming the first (awesome) president in 100 years to skip the event, many have wondered if he will continue the tradition of leaving a note in the Oval Office for his successor.

Well, I have great news: Trump will (maybe) leave a note. Through my many infallible and entirely imagined sources, I have obtained an OFFICIAL AND DEFINITELY NOT MADE UP draft of Trump’s Inauguration Day letter to Biden.


Dear LOSER!!

Welcome to the White House, you sleepy dope. I am leaving not because you beat me but because I choose to stop being president because I have already been THE BEST president in American history. Many have said that. I hear it all the time, people say, “Sir, there has never been a president like you.”

And I know they’re right. I’ve accomplished more than any president in history, and I remain incredibly popular and everyone loves me, especially my late father. And also Lindsey Graham. Just ask him, he tells me that all the time. He’s a total loser, but he knows a good president when he sees one. By the way, I left a file about him in the desk here. It contains … some things, if you know what I mean. Just wave it around if you ever need to get him to do something for you. He’s like a trained dog.

Anyway, back to all the things I’ve done that you will never match, and it won’t even be close.

I built the big, beautiful wall to keep out the bad hombres. Nobody called them bad hombres before I did. I came up with that, and people love it. It was so smart. Some slobs said it was racist, but they’re racist. I’m the least racist person I’ve ever met. By far.

But yes, I built the wall. Some will say there are still hundreds of miles of open border, but I haven’t seen them so they doesn’t exist. FAKE NEWS!

We have our great Trump wall, and do you know who’s paying for that wall? Do you? Because actually, I don’t. I kept sending the contractor bills in an envelope clearly marked “MEXICO!” but it just kept getting returned. Good luck with that.

Speaking of bills, I’m gonna need you to pay Rudy Giuliani for me. He’s a great American patriot and represented me in all this RIGGED ELECTION stuff. He did a terrible job, frankly. I told him to find me fraud and he didn’t find a thing, even though I know it’s out there because that guy from the pillow company told me it is.

Anyway, pay Rudy. The bill is in the desk by that file of stuff on Lindsey.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I accomplished so much. We have our great, great health care plan, which I’ll be releasing in two weeks. It will be better than that disastrous Obamacare you idiots came up with. So that’s coming up soon, since I can still technically be president if I want to, since I won, by a lot, and you lost. I beat you in a landslide, you know that’s true.

Some losers in the media keep saying I should just say you won. They say crazy stuff, like that I’m “fomenting violence.” What does “fomenting” even mean? I gotta ask Jared.

Speaking of Jared, can you give him a job? That would be a good way to unify the country, and frankly, I can’t stand the kid. Creepy looking. I just had him around to keep Ivanka happy. Isn’t she beautiful? Not sure what she sees in that skinny weirdo, but whatever.

Now look, I know you’re going to screw up everything I’ve done, and I want you to know this: I don’t care. I just want to get down to Mar-a-Lago and keep bilking money from these rubes I sold hats to. So how about you give me a big pardon? Not that I’ve done anything wrong, but just in case. You give me a pardon, I’ll give you nothing and we’ll call it even, deal?

I had Stephen Miller draw up the pardon papers. They’re in that same drawer with the wall bills and the Lindsey dirt … sorry, I mean “information.”

Oh, speaking of Miller, there might be bags of human hair stashed in a few places. We tried to find them all, but he’s pretty sneaky.

Good luck, dummy.


— STILL President Donald J. Trump
Posted by leftofthestorm | Tue Jan 19, 2021, 11:31 AM (4 replies)

Single anonymous donor gives $40 million to fund 50 civil rights lawyers

The NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund launched a $40 million scholarship program on Monday to support a new generation of civil rights lawyers, dedicated to pursuing racial justice across the South. With that whopping gift from a single anonymous donor, the fund plans to put 50 students through law schools around the country.

In return, they must commit to eight years of racial justice work in the South, starting with a two-year post-graduate fellowship in a civil rights organization.

"The donor came to us," said Sherrilyn Ifill, president of the Legal Defense and Educational Fund. "The donor very much wanted to support the development of civil rights lawyers in the South. And we have a little bit of experience with that."

Posted by leftofthestorm | Mon Jan 18, 2021, 09:05 PM (17 replies)

Trump to issue around 100 pardons and commutations Tuesday, sources say

Source: CNN

(CNN)President Donald Trump is preparing to issue around 100 pardons and commutations on his final full day in office Tuesday, according to three people familiar with the matter, a major batch of clemency actions that includes white collar criminals, high-profile rappers and others but -- as of now -- is not expected to include Trump himself.

The White House held a meeting on Sunday to finalize the list of pardons, two sources said.

Trump, who had been rolling out pardons and commutations at a steady clip ahead of Christmas, had put a pause on them in the days leading up to and directly after the January 6 riots at the US Capitol, according to officials.

Aides said Trump was singularly focused on the Electoral College count in the days ahead of time, precluding him for making final decisions on pardons. White House officials had expected them to resume after January 6, but Trump retreated after he was blamed for inciting the riots.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/17/politics/trump-pardons-expected/index.html
Posted by leftofthestorm | Mon Jan 18, 2021, 06:47 AM (24 replies)

Does anyone know where I can watch the House proceedings online....

I would appreciate it...
Posted by leftofthestorm | Wed Jan 13, 2021, 02:30 PM (13 replies)

If Trump has issued very recent pardons....how would we know??

Just wondering he doesn't have much time left and I think there will be a bunch of them.
Posted by leftofthestorm | Mon Jan 11, 2021, 05:47 PM (1 replies)

Keep your eye on Parler.....

That is the only place he can go now....
Posted by leftofthestorm | Fri Jan 8, 2021, 07:11 PM (18 replies)

Dominion sues Trump lawyer Sidney Powell for defamation, seeks $1.3 billion


Dominion Voting Systems, one of the biggest election equipment manufacturers in the U.S. and the subject of numerous incoherent conspiracy theories about the 2020 election, has sued lawyer Sidney Powell, who pushed President Donald Trump’s attempts to overturn election results, for defamation.

“Powell falsely claimed that Dominion had rigged the election, that Dominion was created in Venezuela to rig elections for Hugo Chávez, and that Dominion bribed Georgia officials for a no-bid contract,” the lawsuit states.

Powell didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.

Dominion is requesting damages of more than $1.3 billion, saying it has spent millions on security for its employees and on damage control to its reputation, and risks losing future business.

Posted by leftofthestorm | Fri Jan 8, 2021, 11:24 AM (3 replies)

Treason is punishable by death...

I do not condone the death penalty under ANY circumstance. I am just saying.
Posted by leftofthestorm | Fri Jan 8, 2021, 08:18 AM (3 replies)

Do you think Pence will pardon tRump now?

I have anticipated that tRump would resign to be pardoned by Pence.
Posted by leftofthestorm | Thu Jan 7, 2021, 06:30 AM (11 replies)

Have either of those fucktards in Georgia conceded yet?

Or are they going to be like: "I concede nothing!"
Posted by leftofthestorm | Wed Jan 6, 2021, 10:29 AM (10 replies)
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