(There is no fool like an old fool.)

I'm 79 and C is now in her early 70's. We broke up about 30 years ago after a steamy two year relationship and I never got over her. I was an asshole. I still am an assshole but I am better at it (I take lessons in advanced assholery).

I still think about her from time to time. My love of 23 years died of cancer, 7 years ago. Then I went back to occasionally thinking about C. Not doing anything about it as I figure she doesn't need or want me in her life.


C and I have had no contact in the thirty years. THEN, last evening a mutual friend said she had contact with C and the first thing C asked was about me. My friend brought this up twice during our conversation.


Now I can't get her out of my head. I have been obsessing about her all day.

That is all.

I have posted about this twice during the last month as his disease progressed. It is a local township story.

52 years old, non-vaccinated: Libertarian freedom.

So he gets sick, goes to hospital and gets diagnosed with Covid. He gets frustrated with hospital regimentation and leaves hospital. Hours later, he is in a fuckin' bar, downing drinks that his friends bought him to celebrate that he beat Rona without the shots.

I haven't heard that any of them have come down with the virus.

3 days later, he's back in hospital because he can't breathe--- ventilator, followed by stroke, followed by; he died.

Now his wife posts a Go Fund Me request or $25k. AND she is immediately eligible for FEMA burial expenses.

No one on the GFM site has the heart to ask her if she encouraged him to get the vaccine or if she is now vaccinated.

What da fuck?

This starts on 8/10 when he admits to hospital with trouble breathing. He is diagnosed with Covid and on the 13th, he signs himself out of hospital because he can't stand the hospital's regimentation.

He showed 'em who's boss.

Later that day, he is F.B- posting at a local bar, with glasses of beer that his friends bought him to celebrate his beating covid without taking the vaccine.. He includes comments about sheeple getting the vaccine.

8/16, he is back in hospital because he can't breathe. ventilator comes next, followed by a stroke.


Today, he died.

Guy has several chronic diseases. He is anti-vaxer, "sheeple," and all that bullshit.

So he gets in hospital with Rona. Check himself out of hospital because he didn't like hospital regimentation. (We can all agree with that). The next FB post is him IN A FUCKING BAR with beer glasses in front of him. HE HAS LIVE CORONA and he's going out in public.

Three days later, he's back in E.R., followed by ventilator. Yesterday, while on ventilator, he had a stroke.


Have you ever seen a person on a ventilator? They can't talk. Their hands are restrained so they can't write anything or post on an iPad.

Now add a stroke to that.

What a shitty final exit.

One folding table outside of tents. Guy siting next to it on a chair.

Table was loaded with anti-vax literature.

He is 20.

It is raining and I have several windows open. He is outside, sitting on his porch and singing to himself in his native language. Of course, I have no idea what the translation would be but I am enjoying, just listening to him..

The song is soft and seems kind of sad. I could walk over and ask him about the song but why spoil our mood. I will just continue listening to him.

Says it works for her. She hasn't caught Rona.

I told her it works, until it doesn't.

She says she is getting it from a pharmacist (Torrence Ca.) who supports vaccines but is willing to sell it to her.

So far, none of the pro/anti arguments were breaking new territory or offering new insight until the argument that Malcom X's Autobio should be banned because he was a burglar, racist, pro-violent and disrespect of women.


I'll try to keep you posted.

So he's got several diseases. Last week, he gets hospitalized with Covid and asks for prayers. Somehow he is surviving. Yesteday, signs himself out because he doesn't like the hospital regimen.

Today, he posts a picture of himself at the local tavern, beer in his hand.


No, its not Florida. Its New Jersey

I have sleep aph but the CPAP is logging that my sleep is ok.

Maybe another inner ear infection.


Going to Doc-in-the-box this afternoon.