kozar
kozar's JournalI need to ask,,I am in a dilemma,, only honest answer please
Hi, Im Koz
I worked in the mentally challenged field for 10 years. Quickly worked my way through, my favorite part of the field,,supported living, to house manger,,team leaders etc,etc. Please keep reading,,I am in a dilemma,
Caveat, first,,, I have a challenged daughter who I was told wouldn't see 20 years old, we just celebrated her 30th birthday.
So I as took these positions, I admit it was easy for me to make decisions. I just thought, what would I do for my daughter, right?
Let me explain a team leader position, which was last I held in field. I had 12 supported living homes under me, as well as all staff to cover those homes 24/7 .3 challenged people to home and staff to cover 24/7, so, on average, about 80 people under me. I was on call every hour of every day. I fought with families who did not want to or could not take care of their person, I fought with my higher ups about revenue streams based on my decisions.
I fought these battles for 10 years,, I got tired, I got beat,, I got defeated,, so I said bbbye when the political fights in house became too much, ( as a team leader , I was 2 steps away from CEO, to clarify)
It's been about 9 months since the "blow up" I am good with Mrs Koz and daughter and we are living life. But it is holiday season, and I have folks who I mentored calling me, saying,, "its too much", I say it always is this time of year because we care.
Tonight , on one of those calls, I find 1 of the folks I cared for and about , died,,because his family made the decision to pull the plug. So to speak. I fought with this family many times during my tenure in field. They only cared about his insurance and not about his well being. Now, I find out , I left and he died. So now I sit and cry and wonder,,would I have made a difference?
But it came to a different point as Mrs K was talking to me and trying to talk me down,, 1 question she asked me, " what can you do?"
I know I can do,,I am respected in field regionally in this state,, so I answered Mrs Koz,, " want me to push?, use my connections on a state level in a Rpub state and go?"
And Mrs Koz said,, " I believe in you, you'll do the right thing" and went to bed.
Now I sit and wonder and doubt myself and my purpose in this world. MY GOD DU folks,,, I'm asking myself if MLK's wife said same thing to him. I think every big event started small. I know my heart is too close to this issue,
I know I have facts on my side,,I know I have heart on my side,,I sit here awake and wonder if I have my strength on my side to take this fight on.
It may sound corny or overblown,, but I need some help making this decision.
sign me out as Confused and wanting,,
Koz
Gods beauty, our world
My lil girl was flown to Seattle Seahawks game last Monday,, omg we have 1000 pics from the week.
but this one jumped out at me,, it is simply, Gods Earth, taken by Mom Koz while flying. Scroll up to see wing tip of jet ,if you can't
I love me some Neil Diamond
I just happened to meet someone who said I could sing,,,, Pic of CD I made for my challenged daughter attached, and I hope you can hit the link and listen to the song I still sing to her every morning, and sang every day when I came home from work for many years. I just realized the link is a raw version when Tess was with me,, not the CD version, I'll edit further when I figure all this tech crap out
http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/watchandlisten/play/b084921bf is link for song
the CD
New to this group
Not so new to DU though. I am now realizing how the groups of DU can ease people rather than just only whip up emotions of politics.
Yes, this is my oversight that I missed in my early DU times. I find myself reading groups more than news now, which means maybe I am figuring the DU community out finally.
I would ask that this group indulge me with my pictures on first post. The Golden Pic is Ethyl, who passed at 16 years old and a mere 2 weeks after the pic of her holding hands with my 30 y/o challenged daughter.
The other pic is of our Dear Stripe, who we brought home today (cremains) and put him to rest.
I am oddly calm today about him being home, I was very distraught when we lost him. I still miss him, but I feel now his body is where it should be.
Long story short, I feel after reading some posts. That this may be the place I can post and show my family's love of our "zoo" ,
1 kitty, a golden retriever who is being trained as service dog to my daughter,, a Dal, who is smarter than the Golden, and a mix rescue,who is the best snuggler ever.
We are truly a pet family.
Thanks for listening,
Koz
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Which post, or how many do I post to, that says MY GOD!!!
I see and read that former President Bush died. (notice I used capital P )
For everyone that wants to blame every R prez in the past forever years,,, let me be an old guy that says you're wrong.
I am a life long D, signed up and defended this country. And I hate Trump. But I have also respected the office of President before this ass took it, to never post things like Im seeing tonight.
So I say, humbly, I served this country, the OFFICE still should mean something no matter how much DT tries to make it not mean a damn thing.
But why is everyone so happy that a former Prez dies? IMHO every person before DT deserves the respect of running for, campaigning for, and winning the office.
Only DT posters, and other "only D or nothing sites" have brought on this crap for previous office holders who aren't named Donald Trump,,,
My old guy advice,, Love Country , or love your keyboard,,
Koz out
Where do I start?
So, I'll start here with a caveat,, tough week, Mrs Koz's dad's memory service today, the little left of her family in attendance,and a sarcastic OMG that her church ( where her Dad was a member for 70 years),"forgot to find a sound board operator. SO Dear koz ( me)
left my wife to take on the immediate need. .
While in the loft doing my Koz thing for this,, I watch Mrs K son,niece, and other cousins, family blah blah blah,, leave MY WIFE sitting alone in front row, by herself.
It is 3 Am my time,, IM still livid, her and I have talked of course,,she did not want to cause a stir and asked me to keep quiet. I did out of love for her.
But I still need to vent,,even after all these hours, I look at our public on things like people getting killed by simply going to church,, people getting killed because they wanted to line dance, people getting killed for nothing.
Today, I watched these millenniums go to a service for a great man and veteran for out country, and ignore His sole surviving daughter,
which I believe gives me the right to say, get yer head out of your ass youngsters!!!
The same kids that ignored Mrs K today,also managed to talk to me about "what do they get"
Millennial folks,,it aint all about you..
I could go on and on,,,I am tired because of death, I am tired of politics, as of today,, I am tired of young folks telling me what they "need/deserve" to make our country great.
I am old, I am tired, I still fight for our Country! but today wore me out,and I just want to sleep at 3AM , but I still worry about my wife and her Dad who passed.
Maybe this is the diff between R an d D's,, who is awake at 3AM simply because they care?
Koz out
Hi,
Just found this group, so to break ice I'll start with conversation I had with Mrs K the other day. I posted condensed in DL before I found this group, apologies if redundant.
Mrs: All you old men are just like old computers
Me: how so?
Mrs: both think that just because your memory chips work, your hard drive will spin too.
Me: nothing,nada,zilch,blank stare. I just bought the next round and apologized to the 30 other people near us who heard (sarcasm)
Koz
Old Men and Old Computers,
Are exactly the same according to my Mrs.
She claims that just because the memory chips work, doesn't mean the hard drive is gonna spin.
It feels like a slam,I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
In Friday Jest mode
Koz
My good old USA
Was nothing like today, back in my time, was. I volunteered to serve my country many years ago,my voice not been very politically motivated as it was always in the middle.
Welcome President Trump. Now Mrs. K. Started to understand what I was saying in how I felt.
After very little sleep last night, and waking up early this morning, I was happy.
But then I saw the news conference I started to get angry, Mrs K
said it's ok, But then, I heard about the firing of the Attorney General.
I volunteered back in my day, to serve this country. This is not what I volunteered to give my life up for.
Now, is I talked to Mrs K, we will be leaving myrtle beach in morning. A bit of context, the only reason we are in MB, is because her dad died at 93 years old,and we are cleaning his place up.
So, when I heard that it's time to take to the streets tomorrow.
And I talk to the wife, about this, and said maybe we need to go because I signed a petition online. Her only words to me were, "Let's Go"
I will be back home in Tennessee tomorrow I will be on the streets like I promised online.
I am old, I serve my time, not sure what I can do anymore, but, I will be there.
Thank You ,Mrs Koz
That first time when you have to sit back and say times have changed,,
In a way, a bit of a melancholy day today. I'm 58 years old, and today spent most of my day buying and installing a home security system. The irony, in my mind, was this is due to just one little comment that our cleaning person said yesterday. First off, Im not lazy, but with Mrs. Koz having cancer and doing treatments, and of course my lil Tess, whom most of you can see if you research my posts, I needed a little help.
Back to the moment, Cleaning lady said yesterday, " so, next Friday I am off because you're gone?" we affirmed. The next question sent up every red flag in my brain. " Ok,, so you will have the dogs boarded and it should be quiet,"
Today I feel like my world changed with one statement, we used to leave and never even lock doors, even recently, and now today, this is what I feel I need to do.
You younger folks will not realize the impact of days like today for us who are a few years greater than you.
I guess what hits me more is the fact that today not only did I secure this house,, I also realize I am at an age where I am realizing drastic changes in the world since I was born. It is humbling.
Thanks for listening,
Koz
Profile Information
Name: DougGender: Male
Hometown: Florida
Home country: USA
Current location: Fla
Member since: Fri May 18, 2018, 04:38 PM
Number of posts: 2,109
