Top 10 Idiots

Top 10 Idiots's Journal

March 25, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-11: Do The Fauci Facepalm Edition (Mini edition!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-11: Do The Fauci Facepalm Edition (Mini edition!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well hello everyone. So of course as you know during the Great Quarantine that the Coronavirus has brought life as we know it to a literal stand still until we figure out, what the fuck is going on. There’s nothing. No concerts, no sporting events, no conferences, no conventions, no weddings, no funerals, no beach parties, and really no fun at all. There’s limited air travel. There’s no going out. I could go on and on. But you already know that. and this week we can’t bring you the full and proper Idiots that you know and love. But we will hopefully be back on April 1st. Which, in my opinion, can’t fucking get here soon enough. But as of right now all of our tour dates are being called off which sucks. And I will say that we will still bring you the comedy but from a much smaller scale than what you’re used to. At least for the remainder of this season. Hopefully as the news gets better and we will start to see the horrifying curve flatten we will get back to doing our program live as you know it. That said this week we’re going to bring back the mini edition of the Top 10 – we’re doing a Top 4. Because let’s face it, the Great Quarantine has just sucked, but there’s plenty of stupid people who still exist. And that’s what we’re here for ultimately isn’t it? We can at least laugh at the stupid. And there’s plenty of other conservative idiocy which we will get to. And I’m like you – the sooner things get back to some sort of normalcy, the better. But first normally this is where I would show a clip from a talk show but instead I will show one of my current favorite podcasts – The Christopher Titus Podcast and his take on what’s going on this week:

So this week our Top10 is being reduced to a Top 4. And there’s no live music to act as the palate cleanser this week or for the next couple. In the number one slot this week, we are going to have a new edition of People Who Somehow Got Elected, and this week, we’re profiling Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (1), who is doing an extremely poor job of shutting down Florida’s beaches during Spring Break and the pandemic. In the second slot this week, we’re going to show you some of the insane things going on during the Quarantine and how you can escape boredom or not in a piece that we’re calling “Quarantine Life” (2). In the third slot this week is an all new, stripped down Holy Shit (no gospel choir) and our resident pastor is going to tell you how the Christian right is dealing with the quarantine, and yeah, the response is exactly what we would expect. Finally this week it’s the next round of Stupidest State Round 1 Week 2! This week, it’s corporate greed vs the almighty gun. In the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #3 Tennessee takes on #4 Nebraska, while in the Gun Nut Conference, #3 New Mexico takes on #4 Missouri! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Ron DeSantis: People Who Somehow Got Elected
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Florida governor Ron DeSantis. We’ve previously profiled Gov. DeSantis in previous installments. But this week, he took the insanity to an entire new world. While the rest of the country is on lockdown, Floridians and people visiting Florida have been partying at Spring Break. But in the last week, pictures have been emerging and have been well, unsettling in the day and age of COVID-19. And he’s not backing down. While the rest of the country is in a state of emergency, Florida is, well, confused as to what it wants to do. Because it is, after all, Florida. And what does that entitle exactly? Well, you’re on your own and SOL apparently.

When he took office on Jan. 8, 2019, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a Republican, declared: “I will only appoint judges who understand the proper role of the courts is to apply the law and Constitution as written, not to legislate from the bench.” Does DeSantis believe he’s also bound by the law? The answer appears to be no. On Monday, the governor will violate the state constitution. And it’s not a close question.

In November, Justices Barbara Lagoa and Robert Luck, whom DeSantis appointed to the Florida Supreme Court, resigned to take seats on a federal appellate court. The governor’s office issued a letter to convene the court’s judicial nominating commission, which vets applicants and sends a list of nominees to the governor, on Nov. 25. The JNC had 60 days from that date to send the governor a certified list of nominees. It did so on Jan. 23.

The Florida Constitution tells us in Article V, Subsection 11(c), what comes next: “The governor shall make the appointment within sixty days after the nominations have been certified to the governor.” (Emphasis added.) We all know what shall means: The governor must appoint new justices by or on March 23.

Yet DeSantis does not share that understanding of the simple word. As a result of the coronavirus pandemic, DeSantis declared a state of emergency on March 9. Last Thursday, the governor announced at a press conference that he was extending the deadline: “I will most likely delay, under the state of emergency, that deadline, probably push it back to May 1.” DeSantis claims that his time is better spent on the emergency, and that he hasn’t had time to read the nominees’ writings—but he has interviewed all of them.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/03/florida-coronavirus-ron-desantis-supreme-court.html

Yeah we might as well just cut Florida off and get on with it. No, we’re kidding. We love Florida. But we do not love Gov. Ron DeSantis, or his nearby fellow governor Tate Reeves. Who we will profile in a future edition. But Florida Gov. DeSantis is a crazy person. So as you can imagine Florida is handling this situation very poorly. And as you can imagine it’s taking him long enough.

The golden sands along Florida's coasts have long been one of the state's greatest resources, helping Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis oversee a tourism mecca that brings in more than $40 billion a year.

But as the coronavirus pandemic halts American life, those same sun-scorched beaches, and the crowds they draw, are currently at the heart of some of the harshest criticism aimed at him.

DeSantis has avoided issuing a statewide mandate to close the beaches in Florida, instead showing deference to local municipalities to make that decision. On Thursday, during a visit to a mobile coronavirus testing facility in South Florida, DeSantis issued his strongest condemnation of spring breakers partying on the beach.

"Spring break's done," he said of his order to limit gatherings on beaches to no more than 10 people. "Any place to go for bars and all this, done. They don't have a place to go."

DeSantis did not, however, close the beaches, arguing the choice on what to do about beaches "probably needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/19/politics/florida-coronavirus-beaches/index.html

The party should be the least of your worries right now. In fact if you think things can’t get any crazier in Florida right now, just take a look at what is happening at Florida airports. Rather than issue an out of state travel ban which is what should have been done, Florida instead is requiring a mandatory quarantine for travelers from one specific area. And that area happens to be New York City. Never mind if you’re from anywhere else. And it’s screwing up airports, which you can imagine, are already screwed up.

The Orlando International Airport on Tuesday said it supports Gov. Ron DeSantis’ executive order that mandates a 14-day quarantine for any travelers coming to Florida from New York, Connecticut and New Jersey, in an effort to slow the spread of coronavirus, although several questions remain about enforcing the measure.

“We support Gov. DeSantis’ order as a means to implement measures that promote the safety, security and health of our passengers and employees,” said Phil Brown, chief executive officer of the Greater Orlando Aviation Authority. “For our part, we mobilized quickly overnight (Monday) to accommodate the executive order and are prepared to work with the Department of Health in screening passengers as they arrive in Orlando.”

Orlando airport officials said there are about 45 daily direct flights from New York, Connecticut and New Jersey, receiving the majority of the airport’s domestic passengers from the northeast region, particularly the Greater New York area.

Airport leaders are currently coordinating with state health officials and the National Guard to finalize actions necessary to enforce the order, according to a news release.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/24/heres-what-orlando-airport-is-doing-after-florida-governor-issues-new-york-travel-order/

Yes, the party is over for Florida for the foreseeable future. But have no fear! It’s all good, according to Governor DeSantis! Just keep calm and go about your business. Because it’s no matter that the fears surrounding the coronavirus aren’t justified! No, it’s the economy, stupid! And that’s all that matters to fiscal conservatives. Which is exactly what Ron DeSantis is, and why things aren’t going to change in Florida in the future.

In a news conference Saturday, Gov. Ron DeSantis laid out some of his plans to fight the spread of the coronavirus in Florida, hoping to ease the worries of residents in the Sunshine State.

As of Saturday, the Florida Department of Health has reported 763 Florida-related cases of COVID-19, with the most confirmed cases in South Florida. According to the FDOH, 164 cases have been reported in Broward County. The governor said 156 cases have been confirmed in Miami-Dade County. Twelve Florida COVID-19 patients have died from the virus, according to the governor.

The surge to more than 750 Florida cases, reported by state officials at 6 p.m. Saturday, shows a spike of more than 50 cases since the Florida Department of Health’s 11 a.m. update on Saturday.

The department updates its numbers online at 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. daily.

As the number of cases in Florida continues to swell, the governor is revealing some of his plans to fight the further spread of the virus and give worried Floridians some peace of mind.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/2020/03/22/keep-cool-and-calm-down-florida-governor-aims-to-ease-coronavirus-worries/

With such pristine leadership as this, is it any wonder why we’re fucked? And it could all be because of Florida Gov. DeSantis, who is yet another in the ever long and growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Quarantine Life
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OK, I lied, there really aren’t any upsides to quarantining. However, we here at the Top 10 urge you to help fight the spread and do your part. But you do get to see the sheer stupidity of people in a time of crisis like this. Like take for instance the daily press conferences that Trump has. So before we get into it, can we see that press conference from the other day?

https://twitter.com/Walldo/status/1241044023445524481

Wow, this is insane. That was the exact moment where Dr. Fauci litereally became the Kif Kroker to Trump's Zapp Branagin. I mean that's the face that says "Dude, you're a fucking idiot". Let’s all do the Fauci facepalm. And you want to know who else is a fucking idiot? Let’s take for instance, Gamestop. Are they really an “essential business” as some are saying? I mean really how badly do you need to play the latest edition of Borderlands? Most of us real gamers buy it from Steam anyways. But yeah let’s put our employees and stores at risk, because profit!

The video game retailer will only take orders digitally through its website or mobile apps. The customers will have the option of e-commerce deliveries or curbside pickups.

"This is an unprecedented time and each day brings new information about the COVID-19 pandemic," GameStop chief executive officer George Sherman said in a statement. "Our priority has been and continues to be on the well-being of our employees, customers and business partners."

GameStop further said that all its hourly employees affected by this decision would be paid two weeks' worth of their pay irrespective of the hours they are required to work.

The Dallas-based company added that it would also reimburse benefit-eligible employees with one month of expenses.
Why It Matters

The change in GameStop's response comes days after it courted controversy by claiming to be "essential retail" that needed to remain open during the COVID-19 pandemic, even as authorities across the country imposed shelter-in-place requirements.
https://www.benzinga.com/news/20/03/15627950/gamestop-changes-mind-and-decides-to-shut-down-all-us-stores-due-to-covid-19-pandemic-after-employee

Yeah you might as well take your money and light it on fire at this point. But if you’re wondering if Gamestop is the last of businesses like these in the time of pandemic, then you’re not wrong. But as the economy continues to tank in the age of coronavirus, Trump and his lackeys might be gearing up to do something ridiculously dumb that could result in a lot of people ending up dead. Yeah Trump supporters, the “Obamacare is going to kill your grandma” crowd is going to get a lot of this. Bet you wish you had Obamacare now didn’t you?

As the international response to the coronavirus ramps up, the inevitable damage to the world economy is unavoidable. While common sense and simple human decency would suggest that stemming the spread of infections at the price of the economy is worth it, there are some, namely conservative voices in America, who don’t exactly agree.

Writing in The Week this Tuesday, Noah Millman cites the example of CNBC host Rick Santelli, who said earlier this month that “maybe we’d be just better off if we gave [coronavirus] to everybody, and then in a month it would be over because the mortality rate of this probably isn’t going to be any different if we did it that way than the long-term picture.” According to Santelli, otherwise we’d be “wreaking havoc on global and domestic economies.”

Millman writes that this same philosophy is what caused the UK to come under an avalanche of criticism for its response to the outbreak. The logic for this line of thinking says that the elderly are not the economy’s most productive citizens, and the economic impact of them dying earlier might even be positive. Also, reserving more urgent medical treatment for the young and economically viable would prevent the health system from being overwhelmed.

“I hope nobody would be comfortable making an argument like that explicitly,” Millman writes. “But it lurks in the background of the all-purpose dismissiveness voiced by the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity about the seriousness of the virus (who are following the President’s lead in doing so), or in pieces like this one by Heather Macdonald at the conservative cultural journal The New Criterion.”

https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/some-conservatives-willing-to-sacrifice-the-elderly-to-save-the-economy-from-coronavirus-op-ed/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! As if that’s not bad enough, oh it gets much worse than that! You know what? Let’s stop talking about the bad news. I’m tired of it. I want to talk about some good news. Yeah Trump may kill 20% of the population if we’re not careful. But let’s put some good news in this entry. Although if you’re a guy or a hot woman looking to make some money and you live in the Portland area, strip clubs are turning to alternative ways to deliver the boobs and entertainment to otherwise deprived gentlemen during this time of pandemic.

Social distancing be damned—Portland will not go without its strippers, even during a global pandemic.

Lucky Devil Lounge is bringing its dancers to your door with a new food delivery service it's calling—wait for it—"Boober Eats."

"I originally did it at first as a joke," says club owner Shon Boulden, "and it got 150 shares on Facebook—like nothing we've ever had before. So I was like, 'Well shit, why don't we just try to do this?'"

Lucky Devil has a full food menu and non-alcoholic drinks, like ginger beer and Red Bull, available for delivery. The process is similar to many the home drop-off systems that have sprung up overnight as a way for restaurants and breweries to continue operating during the health crisis: Simply peruse the menu online, give the business a call and place your order.

The twist comes when your food shows up. Instead of being greeted a harried driver in jeans and a hoodie, your meal is hand-delivered by two dancers.

"They'll wear pasties and booty shorts, drop off the food, dance for a second and then we'll move along," Boulden says. "We'll still stay a reasonable distance back. They have Lysol as well."
https://www.wweek.com/bars/2020/03/17/a-portland-strip-club-has-started-a-meal-delivery-service-where-dancers-bring-food-directly-to-your-door-to-your-home/

Yeah we can imagine that it probably lasts at least that long! But there is some good news – if you’re bored out of your mind, and looking for something to do, there is a place you can go that you probably haven’t thought about in years. That’s right – your local drive thru! Yes, when the regular movie theater is closed, your drive through can provide a safe space that is very accurately socially distanced!

Jen Philhower, 48, a part-time office manager in Austin, Texas, is one of the many Americans adjusting to almost every group activity being canceled, as people move indoors and into isolation to avoid spreading the novel coronavirus.

“My youngest goes to wilderness school, and even that is closed,” she said. “When even playing in the woods is closed, things start to feel a little strange.”

So Ms. Philhower was surprised — ecstatic, even — to see one group entertainment venue still open for business: the Blue Starlite, a local drive-in movie theater currently allowing 35 to park at one time.

Located on a hill with the Austin skyline in the background, the theater resembles a “cool junkyard,” according to Josh Frank, the owner, who opened it a decade ago. Since the virus hit the United States, the theater has screened movies including “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Breakfast Club.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/24/style/drive-in-theaters-coronavirus.html

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Wichita! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

Well, my fair congregation, this is something new. As you can plainly tell, we are not at our current venue or comfort zone. Our regular church is not being held this week. So that means, no congregation, no choir, no band, and most importantly, no collection plate. I mean come on, this is a church. We are not above our GAWD, the almighty dollar. But we are most certainly not below it either. Running a church gets costly after all. But you got to remember that in this day and age where there’s a deadly plague ravaging the earth, that you got to pray it away. Because after all, that’s what GAWD would have wanted, wouldn’t he?

Amid the global COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak, right-wing megachurch pastor Rodney Howard-Browne held Sunday services at his The River church in Tampa Bay, Florida, where he spent a good portion of his sermon spreading baseless conspiracy theories about the virus.

Howard-Browne, who was among evangelical leaders who laid hands upon and prayed over President Donald Trump in the Oval Office in 2017, insisted that holding services during the outbreak was a matter of constitutional principle and vowed to take the issue “all the way to the Supreme Court” should the government instruct churches to cease holding in-person services in an attempt to limit the spread of the coronavirus.

Repeatedly referring to the outbreak as a “phantom plague,” Howard-Browne insisted that the virus was created by the Chinese government while panic about it was fomented by the media because “they are run by the communists,” all in order to benefit “the money cartel” that supposedly made billions off the collapse of the U.S economy.

“So you produce this plague, you bring it into this country, and then it doesn’t have to be everywhere because the more they test, the more they’ll find people positive,” he said. “There’s a 75 percent chance that the positive [test] is actually a negative, and that’s the problem. The testing is not verifiable.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rodney-howard-browne-used-his-sunday-service-to-spread-coronavirus-conspiracy-theories/

And that devil, my friends, is Pastor Browne spreading some unbelievably stupid nonsense. You know in our last full and proper sermon, we pointed out how much fear and misinformation is out there in the open, and things can get really scary. But my fellow GAWD warriors are rallying around each other in these trying times. But this is the time when you shouldn’t be rallying around each other.

Dominionist Lou Engle called a three-day global fast to stop the coronavirus and prevent it from derailing prayer warriors’ plans for a series of rallies in tents and stadiums across the country between now and the U.S. presidential election.

In a message shared with Engle’s followers last Friday and promoted by CBN and the Elijah List newsletter Wednesday, Engle wrote, “It seems like a demonic force is fueling the rapid spread of the virus and the hysteria surrounding it.” He called for believers to fast from Wednesday to Friday.

Engle explained that he believes that 2020 “has been marked by the Holy Spirit as a year of Stadium Christianity and explosive advance of the Kingdom.” As Right Wing Watch has reported, a coalition of ministries is planning a series of events across the country, culminating in a march from land owned by the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri, to Arrowhead Stadium for a rally organized by The Send just weeks before the election.

The Send is the successor organization to The Call, the banner under which Engle organized political prayer rallies for years. The Send held its first rally in Orlando in February 2019, followed by a multi-stadium event in Brazil this February that was attended by the country’s far-right president, Jair Bolsonaro. The Send had another rally scheduled in Argentina on April 25, but that country’s government has banned large gatherings to slow the spread of the coronavirus.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lou-engle-calls-for-three-day-fast-to-stop-coronavirus-and-save-stadium-prayer-rallies/

Yeah really people are dying and all you care about is people who pray in a stadium? Look at us, we’re just a janky operation in an auditorium. But is that really what GAWD would want? You’re not Billy Graham, sir. And in fact while most of the economy is going crazy amid the virus panic, when only essential businesses are open, you know what is considered an essential business? Hobby Lobby! Yes, the store where you can buy personalized knick knacks and Joanna Gaines’ latest biography, that’s essential!

As major U.S. retailers temporarily shut their doors to help contain the coronavirus, Hobby Lobby is assuring consumers that it's safe to keep shopping. The arts-and-crafts chain is keeping stores open in states that have yet to order non-essential businesses to close.

On its website, Hobby Lobby stated that it's taking measures to keep shoppers and workers from becoming infected, including "enhanced cleaning" and a ban on international travel.

"If an employee is suspected of having COVID-19 based on symptoms and/or known direct or indirect exposure, we will send that employee for medical care and to self-isolate at home, and will promptly coordinate with public health officials," the company, which has a total of 900 stores around the U.S., said.

<snip>

"We serve a God who will Guide us through this storm, who will Guard us as we travel to places never seen before, and who, as a result of this experience, will Groom us to be better than we could have ever thought possible before now," according to the publication, which included an image of the missive.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hobby-lobby-coronavirus-pandemic-retailers-close/

So they care more about stadium prayer rallies and keeping Hobby Lobby open than they do about the greater good of the human species! Now I’m certain that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would say otherwise about their stupidity. Now does it not say that in our Good Book? Why of course it does, I have it right here in my hand! But according to Christian “doctor” Steve Hotze, the easiest way to avoid the virus is to just not get it. See? It’s that simple!

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson interviewed religious-right activist Dr. Steve Hotze on his “The Awakening” radio program yesterday so his audience could hear from a “medical professional who also has a Christian worldview” about how best to respond to the current COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak.

Hotze, a long-time radical anti-LGBTQ activist in Texas, told Jackson’s listeners that they simply need to follow God’s instruction to keep their bodies healthy, which will give them a strong immune system that will prevent them from even contracting the disease.

Hotze said that despite recommendations to avoid personal contact to prevent the spread of the disease, “I shake every hand that I can because I want my immune system to be challenged every day so it builds strong health.”

“Am I crazy, or are they crazy?” Hotze asked, rhetorically. “Could I be right, and Harvard and all these CDC guys be wrong? Yeah, because they’re all conventional. They don’t talk about how you can keep yourself from getting sick … Why don’t you just not get it [the coronavirus]? Why don’t you just stay healthy?”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/steve-hotze-on-how-to-avoid-the-coronavirus-why-dont-you-just-not-get-it/

Yes, that’s right, sir! You are wrong, and not only that, you sound insane. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! We hope to be back live again real soon everybody! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 2
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back to Stupidest State 2020! Last week, it was Batshit and religion as both #1 seeds hung on to advance, with Virginia hanging on to defeat #2 Kentucky in a very close Batshit conference matchup. Meanwhile, our favorite Family Values champion and last year’s tournament champion Alabama routed Oklahoma to advance to the Elite 8! This week we’re live in Austin where it’s guns and greed! Over in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s a duel to the death as #3 New Mexico takes on #4 Missouri, while in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #3 Tennessee takes on #Nebraska! Let’s go live to the floor at the home of the Texas Longhorns, the Frank C. Irwin Events Center in fabulous Austin, Texas for all the action!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Semifinals: #3 Tennessee Vs #4 Nebraska[/font]

[font size="4"]Tennessee:[/font]

The Volunteer State has grown by leaps and bounds to become a favorite of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. It’s home to such metropolises as Nashville, Memphis, and Knoxville. Tennessee is home to the good ol’ Smoky Mountains which means that they are home to the coal mines. And with coal mines comes – can you guess what? Coal mine CEOS! Which have just ravaged the TN economy while making things safer for their pocketbooks. But that said, COVID-19 has just drastically altered the way thing are going for just about everybody. But the good news – if you lost your job working in the coal mines, you can get a new job as – wait for it – a pizza deliveryman! Yes, pizza is doing gangbuster business right now with everyone staying at home!

Domino's locations in the greater Nashville area are looking to fill 300 positions as in-store dining options are suspended due to the COVID-19 outbreak.

There are 60 locations in the area, including Columbia and Clarksville, that have part time and full time openings. The positions include delivery drivers, customer service representatives, assistant managers and managers.

In the effort of social distancing, Domino's is providing an option for contactless delivery. Carryout is also still an option to those who are interested.
https://www.newschannel5.com/news/nashville-area-dominos-adding-300-positions

Hey! How did that baby get a pizza? So unless your dream career involves owning a Dominoes franchise, you may be screwed for the foreseeable future. That said, if you’re a sanitation worker, your situation may also be fucked. Because as the entire world is emphasizing cleanliness in the wake of COVID-19, the mayor of Memphis is announcing a shockingly evil move:

Memphis Mayor Jim Strickland applied pressure to the Memphis City Council on Friday when he said the council's vote against raising trash rates could cost hundreds of sanitation workers their jobs and bring a significant cutback in services.

Without more revenue by Jan. 6, Strickland said 199 sanitation workers would lose their jobs along with 75 temporary employees — about half of the department's 500 workers. He also said no trash on the curb would be picked up and recycling would be reduced to once a month.

The mayor's announcement via his weekly email comes after his administration increased how often city contractors and sanitation workers pick-up trash left on the curb in May. To pay for this service expansion, which cleaned up Memphis in the months before an election, Strickland's administration used $15 million from the city's general fund.

In short, Memphis city government provided services without having secured a means of paying for them. And the bill is coming due Jan. 6.

Read more: https://www.commercialappeal.com/story/news/2019/12/06/mayor-jim-strickland-sanitation-worker-layoffs-possible-memphis-after-trash-rate-hike-fails-council/4352537002/

[font size="4"]Nebraska:[/font]

The Cornhusker State is home to farms as far as the eye can see. It’s also home to the major cities of Omaha and Lincoln. It’s also home to the University Of Nebraska. It’s home to one of my all time favorite bands, and friend of the show, 311. But how is Nebraska taking it lately? Well like most states in the Midwest, Nebraska has been ransacked by Koch policies and Heritage Foundation talking points. So much in fact that the University Of Nebraska recruited some outside help in getting their new hospital wing off the ground, and we’re going to need a lot more of those where that came from!

With demand for outpatient services growing faster than anticipated, Madonna Rehabilitation Hospitals will build a new, $3.8 million physicians clinic at its Omaha campus.

A clinic has been in the plans since before the Omaha hospital opened in the Village Pointe area in October 2016. But demand for outpatient services has outpaced needs assessments conducted before construction began. Last year alone, staff treated more than 900 patients on an outpatient basis, more than had been anticipated.

“The numbers dictated that we move now as opposed to waiting,” said John Glenn, the hospital system’s vice president of development.

The clinic also will benefit the training program for medical doctors specializing in physical rehabilitation that Madonna created in partnership with the University of Nebraska Medical Center by providing a dedicated space for those physicians to see patients. The physical medicine and rehabilitation residency, launched in 2018, is the first of its kind in a five-state, upper Midwest region. Establishing a local residency program was seen as key in reducing the state’s shortage of such specialists.

Read more: https://www.omaha.com/livewellnebraska/health/madonna-plans-to-build-million-physicians-clinic-at-its-omaha/article_9d42f30c-0e4d-5b34-9728-8e68467ebf3d.html

And by the way if you are wondering just how much Koch policies have ransacked Nebraska, well, let’s keep in mind that their chief export is corn. And their chief import is well, also corn. In fact there’s so much corn in Nebraska that people are actually seeing it as a sign of some extreme climate change in the state. Just think when religious zealots think that they can actually change the weather, there might be some truth to that!

Corn farmers in Eastern Nebraska have long claimed weather patterns are changing, but in an unexpected way.

“It’s something I’ve talked about with my dad and grandad many times,” says fifth-generation corn farmer Brandon Hunnicutt. Along with his father and brother, the 45-year-old lives in the 400-person village of Giltner and grows about 2,000 acres of corn each year. From above, the area looks like a blip of homes surrounded by an expansive grid of circular fields. Though Brandon’s grandfather is retired, he takes an active interest in the business. “Contrary to what you’d think should be happening, both him and my dad swear up and down [that] droughts used to come more often and be a lot worse,” says Hunnicutt. “Considering it’s been 30 years since we had a really bad one, I’ve started kind of taking them at their word.”

This is not the only noticeable development—University of Nebraska climatologists say the growing season has gotten 10-14 days longer since 1980. Hunnicutt now waits until the first weeks of November to pilot his 40-foot-wide, dump-truck-sized combine through the farm’s widely arching, seemingly endless rows of corn—enough to cover 800 city blocks.

Though subtle, the Hunnicutts have noticed these changes and more.
https://www.wired.com/story/corn-fields-are-making-it-rain-more/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first upset of the tournament brewing! Nebraska easily hands Tennessee the loss by returning 10 unanswered points! Final score – 87 – 77!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Semifinals: #3 New Mexico vs #4 Missouri[/font]

[font size="4"]New Mexico:[/font]

If you’re a fan of recent TV like I am, you know that the Land Of Enchantment is the home of Walter White, Gustavo Fring, and Saul Goodman. Oh wait, that was Breaking Bad, and Better Call Saul. And there’s a reason why Vince Gilligan chose New Mexico as the home of one of the best shows on TV in the last decade. It’s home to guns and crime, and lots of them. So much in fact that there’s panic buying of guns setting up in wake of COVID-19. It is going to get very ugly very quickly.

In Santa Fe, bullets may be as hard to come by as toilet paper and hand sanitizer.

Gun stores in the area have reported a surge in sales after the outbreak of COVID-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus, leading to a shortage of some items that rarely go out of stock.

The three firearm retailers in Santa Fe – Big R Stores, Big 5 Sporting Goods and The Outdoorsman of Santa Fe – all had long lines of people waiting to buy new guns or ammunition. Nearly everyone was talking about the virus.

“It’s been like this for the past 2½ weeks,” said Bill Roney, owner of The Outdoorsman. “It’s absolutely insane.”

Roney said the rush to buy firearms is happening across the nation, as evidenced by the long wait times for the FBI to perform background checks.
https://www.abqjournal.com/1433240/gun-ammo-sales-surge-in-santa-fe.html

Who still has an overhead toilet in this day and age? But sigh… this is exactly why we cant have nice things. We’re in the middle of the worst pandemic in an entire century that has upended lives as much as it’s destroyed them, and your first thought is to go get a gun? I mean really you must have some fucked up priorities. At least New Mexico is telling the gun nuts where to stick it.

New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham signed into law Tuesday legislation that will allow courts to order the temporary seizure of firearms from individuals deemed a danger to themselves or others.
"The Legislature had the strength to pass this measure because we all recognize: Enough is enough," Lujan Grisham said in a statement. "This law is sensible and balanced. It is a good public safety measure. If it saves even one life, and it will, we will have done good work here."
Dubbed the Extreme Risk Firearm Protection Order Act, the law adds New Mexico to a list of 17 other states that have passed similar "red flag" laws, allowing law enforcement to take away weapons from at-risk individuals.
The laws have faced heavy backlash -- from both gun rights activists and law enforcement officials who say the measures violate residents' Second Amendment rights and don't follow due process.

In a public letter over the weekend, the head of the New Mexico Sheriffs' Association, Tony Mace, wrote that red flag laws don't allow gun owners to defend themselves against an initial confiscation order.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/26/politics/new-mexico-governor-red-flag-gun-law/index.html

[font size="4"]Missouri:[/font]

The Show Me State is the home you know of course to such major cities as Branson, St. Louis and Kansas City. Which are the home to the World Champion Kansas City Chiefs. Of course if you are a Trump fan, you know that Kansas City is in Kansas. But that’s neither here nor there. Missouri is also the original home of Black Lives Matter. And the reason why Missouri is such a repeat offender in the Gun Nut Conference is that it has some of the loosest gun laws in the entire country. Everybody and their mother, and probably grandmother, is packing some heat. And I do mean everyone!

More than 170 firearms seized or recovered by police during an eight-month period last year were purchased from a single St. Louis-area pawn shop, federal authorities said in announcing charges against three men connected to the shop.

Carlos Jones, 31; Robert Thornton, 36; and Steven Johnson, 44, were charged Thursday with unlawful transfer of firearm to a convicted felon and making false statements on firearm records. All three men worked at Piazza Jewelry and Pawn in Overland, Missouri, a St. Louis suburb.

The federal complaint said the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives traced 170 seized and recovered guns to sales at the pawn shop, with 102 of those guns recovered in the city of St. Louis. ATF Special Agent Chad Foreman wrote in an affidavit released Thursday that six of the confiscated guns were used in homicides, four in robberies, 20 in weapons offenses, and were found in 36 cases in which a prohibited person was in possession of a firearm.

ATF agents conducted an undercover investigation in October through December that revealed guns were often sold to "straw" purchasers who then provided the firearms to others, the criminal complaint alleged.
https://www.ky3.com/content/news/170-seized-and-recovered-guns-traced-to-Missouri-pawn-shop-568565161.html

Damn you know things are bad when even Marge is packing some heat! But we don’t have to tell you that in these troubled times, gun sales are surging. But here’s why people need to get their guns in check is because in Missouri, pretty much anything goes. And there’s some groups of people who probably should have their guns taken away. Domestic offenders are one of those groups.

People with domestic violence convictions and orders of protection against them will soon be banned from carrying concealed guns in St. Louis County, Missouri, according to a vote this week from the county council that was sharply split along party and gender lines.

The four women on the council who are all Democrats, voted yes at Tuesday's meeting, while the three men on the council, who are all Republicans, voted no.

Councilman Tim Fitch said at the meeting that the bill would "take a federal felony charge and make it an ordinance violation," or essentially a "ticket."

"While it may look good on a campaign brochure," Fitch said, "it's going the opposite direction."
https://abcnews.go.com/US/st-louis-county-ban-domestic-violence-offenders-carrying/story?id=69255128

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Ooh this is a close one here. Coming right down to the wire, New Mexico has it, shoots… they score!!! Oh man, Missouri got robbed. New Mexico moves on. Final score 75 – 72.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 3! And we are live at the home of the New Orleans Pelicans, the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, LA, for all the action! The battle to go for broke continues as the Wolverines in #1 Michigan take on red hot #2 Pennsylvania! Meanwhile, over in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s a duel to the death as #1 Oregon takes on perennial favorites in #2 Florida! The Elite 8 is shaping up folks!

Thank you for indulging us with this mini edition! We should be back with a return to the full and proper Idiots you know and love on April 1st! See you next week!

Credits

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March 18, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-10: Sorry Folks, Humanity Is Closed Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-10: Sorry Folks, Humanity Is Closed Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Holy fucking shit. I mean seriously, we take one week off and it is literally the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine. Yeah that’s the kind of joke that gets lost when you have no live audience. So is this one – Sorry folks, humanity is closed! Moose out front should have told you! But we’re not here to make fun of the situation at hand, because how can you? There’s nothing good in the news right now and it’s all bad, and will probably get worse before it gets better. So what we’re here to do is to lighten the load. We’re all in this together and we’re all holed up together so we might as well make the best of it. Now how this is going to work, is that we already had a couple of rounds of Stupidest State in the can when we were putting together this week’s edition and that was of course before the world went to shit. Now will things resume and we will get back to some sort of normalcy? Who knows? Or will we fall into some sort of weird dystopian Mad Max Fury Road / Avengers Endgame / Terminator 3 scenario? There’s no telling because the people in charge are completely full of shit. Don’t worry, we will get back to making fun of them as soon as we possibly can. And our original plan this week was to have it be all about the virus, but the news is just too god damn depressing to make fun of. And it changes literally every minute, we don’t know what’s going to happen and we don’t have the kind of time and resources to figure it out. So instead we’re going to do the opposite and make this completely virus free. And we’re going to make this a hybrid Best Of / New Content edition. Because like us, you’re probably sick of talking about the virus. So this week, instead, it’s our civic duty to give you a break from all the madness. And how this is going to work is that we’re going to open up the Top 10 Mail Bag and take your suggestions for some of the best things we’ve done from all of the Top 10s. And as I said in my announcement last week, what’s the point of doing live comedy without a live audience? There isn’t any. That said, that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses your local sheriff and he’s probably the most corrupt POS out there:

Well so as I said we’re taking your requests this week. Since we can’t do this in front of a live audience like we normally do, we are going to be combing the archives dating all the way back to Idiots #1 and taking your requests! And can I reveal a secret for season 9 when we start back? We have a new home spot! We left our home at the UCB Theater in Hollywood and we’re packing up and moving to the legendary Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, that will be our new home spot! Well in the first slot, from Idiots #6-1, what is Trump’s (1) obsession with the show Game Of Thrones? We will do a deep dive into this subject and he most likely doesn’t get the reference. In the second slot, from Idiots #5-2, remember when last year the worst thing we had to worry about was that crazy plan to split California into 3 states (2)? Tetridge Farm remembers! Taking the third slot this week, from Idiots #3-13, remember when Rush Limbaugh (3) mocked the victims of a hurricane? Yeah so do we! Real Medal Of Freedom recipient right there! At slot #4, from Idiots #4-5, we’re going to introduce you to Arthur Jones (4) who is an actual, certified, real life Illinois Nazi. Where are the Blues Brothers when you need them? Taking the 5th slot, from Idiots # is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and remember when the worst thing that could kill you was your breakfast? Yeah Tetridge Farm remembers! At slot #6 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) from Idiots #5-21, our resident pastor asks the question “Is CNN Satanic?” (spoiler alert! Probably). Taking the seventh slot this week, from Idiots #7-22, music fans will probably remember the beef last year when Billie Eilish was questioned by Jimmy Kimmel and people were surprised to learn that she didn’t know who Van Halen was. But really, Eddie Van Halen probably doesn’t know who Van Halen was. In the number 8 slot this week, from Idiots #8-7, with the start of the XFL we wonder how the XFL is still a thing and right now no it isn’t but we wish it was. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have an all new People Are Dumb! Because we can at least laugh at stupid people right? Finally this week, it’s time to commence Stupidest State 2020! And this week it’s Round 1 Week 1! We are live at the home of the Colorado Avalanche, Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado, for all the action action action! In the Batshit Conference, it’s a battle for the league’s best as #1 ranked Virginia takes on old school rivals #2 Kentucky! Meanwhile it’s a Family Values faceoff as last year’s champions and conference favorite #1 Alabama take on the extremely hot #2 Oklahoma Sooners! And the palate cleanser after all of this, from that time our good friends the Dropkick Murphys stopped by! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
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From: Idiots #6-1

Sandra Y. from Yuma City, AZ asks:

“Hey Top 10, do you have any suggestions of things we can watch while we’re in isolation?”

Well, Sandra, our president has a suggestion, but something tells me he hasn’t seen a single episode!

Man does it feel good to be back everyone! And we picked the right city to debut the 6th season of the Top 10! As usual, whenever the Top 10 is out on an extended break like we were over the Christmas and New Year’s holiday, we like to play catch up on stuff we missed. Because we live in an era where there’s literally batshit crazy stuff happening every minute of every day. And whew, did we miss a lot! See, we may take a holiday but conservative idiocy definitely does not! I mean Trump pretty much spent Christmas and his favorite holiday – New Year’s Eve – pretty much all alone in the White House by himself. I know usually we need the Sad Hulk music for this one but we really need something much sadder.

Yeah there we go! So how did Trump spend the most merry and jolliest of holidays?

At what age do children wonder whether Santa really exists?
President Donald Trump would like to know.

In a Christmas Eve call, Trump asked a 7-year-old named Collman Lloyd whether the child still believes in Santa Claus.
"Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it's marginal, right?" Trump asked Collman.

Collman's response, though inaudible to the press, left Trump with a chuckle and a smile.
The call came around 6:30 p.m. Monday as the President and first lady Melania Trump spoke on separate phones to children whose calls to NORAD had been patched through to the White House lines.

In front of a crackling fire and between two Christmas trees, Trump wished Collman a Merry Christmas and asked the child's age and Christmas plans and wondered how school was going.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/25/politics/trump-santa-phone-call/index.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That’s right – Trump literally asked a 7 year old kid what age it’s acceptable to stop believing in Santa! And by the way – no he didn’t show up in Florida for his annual Mar-A-Shithole NYE bash. But guess what? Even club patrons think that place is much more pleasant when he’s not around!

Palm Beach is a little town that parties big, and the biggest party of the year is Donald Trump’s New Year’s revel at Mar-a-Lago. The president may have been born in June, but he is a true Scorpio who lives to get even, and Mar-a-Lago’s mammoth annual event is in some measure an expression of pure revenge.

To understand that one must go back to the mid-eighties, when Trump and his then wife Ivana arrived in Palm Beach. It would only have been natural that the couple join the exclusive Bath and Tennis Club, which lies on the ocean just across South Ocean Boulevard from Mar-a-Lago. But when Ivana talked to the club’s president, James Oelsner, about applying for membership, Oelsner says he told her they best not bother. Her husband, he said, was so controversial that they would surely be blackballed. Trump says he didn’t join the B&T because the club restricted Jews and blacks, but the fact is he wasn’t wanted, and he knew it.

Trump obtained his vehicle for revenge against the Palm Beach establishment when, a decade later, he turned Mar-a-Lago into a club with a majority Jewish membership. He brought in world class entertainment and, for New Year’s Eve, put on a gloriously over-the-top event. Across the road, the ladies and gentlemen of the B&T had their parties too, but theirs had all the panache of a ladies tea. Many of the WASPS were rhythmically challenged, and as they shuffled across the dance floor, the exuberant sounds of rock ‘n roll wafted across the boulevard from Mar-a-Lago. It just wasn’t fair that many of these B&T evenings were sedately boring while not three hundred yards away, the island’s unwanted newcomers were having more fun.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/12/mar-a-lago-new-years-eve

We can only imagine that was his reaction as the countdown clock reached midnight on 12/31. I mean come on, one NYE you’re partying with mobsters, the next NYE, you’re eating cheeseburgers in bed yelling at the fake news media and tweeting about your haters and losers. Yes that did happen!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1080088373451206656

Whoa, hey, take your caps lock off, man! This is the new year we’re talking about here, no need to get angry! Well maybe he was mad when this story broke:

Three weeks after the 9/11 attacks, Vice President Dick Cheney was already trying to tie the horror to Iraq. He floated a bogus story that earlier in 2001, Mohammad Atta, ringleader of the terrorist attacks, had met in a Prague cafe with an Iraqi intelligence official.

Now another shadowy meeting in Prague that may or may not have taken place is in the news.

On Dec. 27, McClatchy DC—a reputable news outlet that broke the most important stories about the Iraq War—reported that cell phone tower records obtained by foreign intelligence sources place Michael Cohen (or at least his phone) in Prague in the late summer of 2016. The story says this information, as well as the fruits of electronic eavesdropping by an Eastern European intelligence agency that picked up discussion among Russians of Cohen’s presence in Prague, are now in the possession of the office of Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

If the McClatchy story is true, it has huge implications for Donald Trump's survival in the presidency. But that’s a major if; unlike many other scoops about the Mueller probe, no other outlet has been able to confirm McClatchy’s reporting. And the McClatchy reporters have made it clear that they have no corroborating evidence of their claims and that some of their sources are indirect at best.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/is-the-michael-cohen-prague-story-true

I think it’s a little too late for that, Donny! And we’ll get to the 119th Congress in a minute. But really there is an actual conspiracy being involved here, and no, it doesn’t involve a super secret ring of underground elite pedophiles who are engaged in satanic human trafficking! Nope. I mean Trump really thinks he’s playing a Game of Thrones here. This is more like a Game Of Groans!

What's Trump doing with that Game Of Thrones poster? Does he even know what Game Of Thrones is? I can't imagine he has an HBO subscription. For a guy who doesn't read and wouldn't know pop culture references if they jumped up and bit him, Game Of Thrones is way too advanced for him! Maybe he should start with the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series and work his way up! We’re going to build a wall along the North and make the Stormlands pay for it. It’s gonna be huge, believe me!

When President Trump tweeted out a meme of his envisioned steel-slat wall with the words, “THE WALL IS COMING” over the weekend, many fans of “Game of Thrones” accused the president of never actually watching the hit HBO series.

In the series, the enormous wall of ice protecting the Seven Kingdoms from encroaching wildlings is — spoiler alert — eventually destroyed, which is presumably not the end result Trump envisions along the southern border. But Trump’s allusion to the “Game of Thrones” wall is all the more curious for another reason.

The fictional “Game of Thrones” barrier is actually based on a real wall. In fact, it’s one of the most famous walls in ancient Western civilization — one that may hold a lesson for Trump. A massive wall, said historian David Frye, is nothing without an equally massive investment in upkeep and patrol. That fact is evident in the true story of Hadrian’s Wall, the inspiration behind the fictional frozen wall in “Game of Thrones.”

George R.R. Martin, the author of the book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” that inspired “Game of Thrones,” has previously revealed that he was standing atop Hadrian’s Wall in 1981, imagining himself as a second-century Roman soldier, when he had the idea for his wall.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/01/08/an-ancient-border-wall-inspired-game-thrones-barrier-trumps-meme-does-it-hold-any-lessons/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.761f68e7bad7

[font size="8"]CalExit
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From: [link:https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210763459 } Idiots #5-2]

Jim P. from Colombus, OH says:

“Hey Top 10, why do conservatives hate California so much? I know you live there, but we cannot figure it out.”

Well, Jim, neither can we. And we especially can’t forget the time that they attempted to divide us into 3 states, which still would have backfired on them.

OK moving on. This is a comedy show, not a horror show. So where do we go next? If you haven’t noticed there is a war going on for the future of my home state of California, and no, it’s not a good thing, sir. So for those of you who don’t live in my great state, there’s a war on the liberalism of this state and a plan to split California into 3 states and while we have mainly just talked about it, this could become a reality in November.

Troublemaker Tim Draper’s latest proposal to split California into three states has some appeal for Northerners. At least it does for me.

That doesn’t mean it’s a smart idea. It’s impractical, a fantasy and doomed. But it does have an allure.

In November, Californians will have an opportunity to vote on whether to split the state in thirds because the venture capitalist’s initiative qualified for the ballot last week. So this is no longer just an idea for idle chit-chat. It’s potentially achievable, if highly remote.

Look, here’s one attraction for a Sacramentan: The new “Northern California” would be the second-wealthiest state in the nation, ranking only below Connecticut in terms of per capita personal income. The Legislative Analyst’s Office pegged it at $63,000, based on 2015 data, the latest available. For the entire state it was $54,000.

That wealth is because of the San Francisco Bay Area, especially Silicon Valley.

What it means is there’d be fewer people unemployed and on public assistance than in the other two new states: Los Angeles-dominated “California” and weirdly drawn “Southern California.” There’d be less northern tax money spent on the safety net and more for universities, transportation, parks and other lifestyle goodies.
http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-pol-ca-skelton-california-three-states-proposal-20180618-story.html

We already did that one. But I guess it’s that new theater smell. Yeah we’re still working out the kinks of our new set. But anyway this whole plan to split California into 3 states is certifiably insane and its’s nothing more than a partisan power grab. I mean we’re dealing with people who would literally take candy from a baby, and they don’t need an excuse.

This November, Californians will head to the polls to vote on a peculiar ballot measure that asks, "Hey, how do you feel about splitting into three states?"

This is really happening.

A proposal to divide California into three states — Northern California, California, and Southern California — qualified this week to appear on the ballot in November's general election. It received over 458,000 valid signatures, more than the number required by state law to get on the ballot, thanks to an ambitious campaign called Cal 3 and financial backing from Silicon Valley tycoon Tim Draper, an early investor in Tesla and Skype.

If a majority of California voters who cast ballots agree to divvy up the state into three, the plan would then go onto the US Congress for approval.

There's bad news for anyone in support of this initiative: Even if the measure gathers enough support at the polls, it would still be incredibly difficult for California to pull off.

All states have a special process for amending their state constitution. In some states, two houses of congress need need to approve a ballot measure before residents get a chance to weigh in at the polls. California is an oddball. The state's initiative process lets a vote by the people pass a measure into law, without the blessing of the state legislatures.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/incredibly-difficult-california-split-three-150000134.html

If *ONLY* we could call it High Cal and Lo Cal, that would be hilarious. Of course most people don’t vote for comedy. But this guy is doing it because one, he’s a billionaire with a lot of money to blow. I mean why can’t these guys ever spend their money for good? Instead they have to spend it on some evil shit, and this is about as evil and stupid as it gets. It’s basically a giant “fuck you” to liberals.

A Silicon Valley billionaire has amassed enough signatures to have his proposal splitting California into three parts on the state’s ballot in November.

Venture Capitalist Timothy Draper filed more than 402,468 valid signatures in all of the state’s counties for his proposal, qualifying it for the general election ballot in November, California’s Secretary of State said on Tuesday. Draper had actually garnered 605,026 signatures; a random sampling found 76 percent were projected to be valid.

Under the proposal, which Draper submitted to the state Attorney General’s office last September, California would be split into: Northern California, which would consist of 40 counties; California, which would be composed of six counties, including Los Angeles; and Southern California, which would house the remaining 12 counties. If the state’s residents vote for the proposal, California’s legislature would have a year, beginning in January of 2019, to implement it.

“The citizens of the whole state would be better served by three smaller state governments while preserving the historical boundaries of the various counties, cities, and towns,” Draper wrote to the Attorney General’s office when explaining his proposal.
http://time.com/5311037/california-ballot-initiative-split-state/

Excuse me a minute… yeah this guy will probably be the poster boy for why we have videos about why this is a bad idea in the future. But what does this mean? Why even have an initiative this batshit crazy on the ballot? Like we said some men just like to watch the world burn. And most of those men are republicans. But this is crazy, evil and stupid at the same time.

This November, Californians will head to the polls to vote on a peculiar ballot measure that asks, "Hey, how do you feel about splitting into three states?"

This is really happening.

A proposal to divide California into three states— Northern California, California, and Southern California — qualified last week to appear on the ballot in November's general election. It received over 458,000 valid signatures, more than the number required by state law to get on the ballot, thanks to an ambitious campaign called Cal 3 and financial backing from Silicon Valley tycoon Tim Draper, an early investor in Tesla and Skype.

If a majority of California voters who cast ballots agree to divvy up the state into three, the plan would then go onto the US Congress for approval.

There's bad news for anyone in support of this initiative: Even if the measure gathers enough support at the polls, it would still be incredibly difficult for California to pull off.
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-california-could-become-three-states-cal3-ballot-measure-2018-6

[font size="8"]Rush Limbaugh
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From: Idiots #3-13

Rashan V.. from San Jose, California asks:

“What did Rush Limbaugh do to deserve the Presidential Medal Of Freedom?”

Well, Rashan, there’s no real reason why Trump does anything he does. But he does love awarding those who kiss his ass, even if they say terrible things like this.

You know in all the editions of the Top 10 so far I don’t think we’ve ever had Rush Limbaugh as a featured entry at all. But that’s about to change. Because this week, Rush Limbaugh proved he’s one of the biggest cowards on the planet. And also one of the stupidest idiots on the planet. I wonder if when Al Franken was writing his book “Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot” if he ever pictured the GOP’s Jabba The Hutt doing something like this?

Conservative icon, radio giant, and Palm Beach resident Rush Limbaugh suggested to his listeners today that the media and meteorologists are exaggerating the threat from Hurricane Irma. In a breathtakingly irresponsible monologue that literally could put lives at risk and directly contradicts virtually every government official and expert of all ideologies, Limbaugh said the attention on Irma is largely driven by political and business agendas:

...So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere. All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.

Now, how do you do this? Well, any number of ways. Let’s take south Florida television, for example. There is symbiotic relationship between retailers and local media, and it’s related to money. It revolves around money. You have major, major industries and businesses which prosper during times of crisis and panic, such as a hurricane, which could destroy or greatly damage people’s homes, and it could interrupt the flow of water and electricity. So what happens?

Well, the TV stations begin reporting this and the panic begins to increase. And then people end up going to various stores to stock up on water and whatever they might need for home repairs and batteries and all this that they’re advised to get, and a vicious circle is created. You have these various retail outlets who spend a lot of advertising dollars with the local media.
http://www.tampabay.com/florida-politics/buzz/2017/09/06/rush-limbaugh-warnings-about-irma-inflated-to-advance-climate-change-agenda/

Excuse me a minute…

OK back to the subject at hand. OK so he claims that the hurricane Irma, one of the largest hurricanes in recorded history, is a liberal hoax. Uh… did you see some of the destruction coming out of St. Maarten?

SAN JUAN, P.R. — One of the most powerful Atlantic hurricanes ever recorded crescendoed over the Caribbean on Thursday, crumpling islands better known as beach paradises into half-habitable emergency zones and sideswiping Puerto Rico before churning north. It is expected to hit the Florida Keys and South Florida by Saturday night.

More than 60 percent of households in Puerto Rico were without power. On St. Martin, an official said 95 percent of the island was destroyed. The Haitian government called for all agencies, stores and banks to shut down as the storm hit. Prime Minister Gaston Browne of Antigua and Barbuda said that half of Barbuda had been left homeless.

Watching Hurricane Irma maraud across Barbuda and Anguilla, residents of Florida and others who found themselves on the wrong side of the forecast were hastening to get out of the way. Government officials in Florida, Georgia and South Carolina pleaded for people to evacuate vulnerable areas, triggering a scramble for the essentials — gasoline, water, sandbags — that, even for hurricane-hardened Floridians, was laced with dread and punctuated with dire warnings from every direction.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/07/us/destruction-caribbean-irma-florida.html

Yeah there’s nothing funny about that so we wont try to make anything funny out of it. But what we can make fun of is Limbaugh’s decision to skip town.

Rush Limbaugh will be evacuating South Florida, just days after the popular conservative radio host claimed that Hurricane Irma would not hit the United States and that scientists and the liberal media were hyping up the hurricane as proof of their global warming “lie.”

“So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere,” Limbaugh said on his show Tuesday. “All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.”
https://thinkprogress.org/limbaugh-to-evacuate-south-florida-after-claiming-irma-was-a-hoax-cb3fb5fb35b8/

Oh and did we mention how dangerous and reckless this was? No?

NBC meteorologist Al Roker clashed with Rush Limbaugh on Wednesday after the conservative radio host suggested warnings about Hurricane Irma were driven by political agendas around climate change.

The longtime "Today" personality took to Twitter to slam Limbaugh in two tweets while using a #ShameOnRush hashtag in a message to his 1.7 million followers.

"Do not listen to @rushlimbaugh when he says #Irma is not a dangerous #storm and is hype. He is putting people's lives at risk," wrote the 63-year-old Roker.

"To have @rushlimbaugh suggest the warnings about #Irma are #fake or about profit and to ignore them borders on criminal. #ShameOnRush," he wrote in subsequent tweet.

Read more: http://thehill.com/media/349502-al-roker-shames-limbaugh-for-dismissal-of-hurricane-irma-panic

To which of course crybaby Rush blabbed to the “mainstream media” (natch) that – gasp – the media lies!!! The horror!!!

Nationally syndicated radio host Rush Limbaugh slammed the media for what he called its "lies and misstatements" over his comments about there being "no reason to panic" in Florida over Hurricane Irma last week.

"I'm going through one of the greatest smears of my career," said Limbaugh to kick off his program on Monday. "This is all over the place that I told people there's no storm. That I told people you don't have to run away from Florida. You don't have to evacuate because I said the storm wasn't coming. I did not say that. I didn't say the storm is not big. I didn't say the storm was going somewhere else. (The media) did.

"There isn't a thing I said about this that anybody can prove that I was wrong about," the best-selling author added.

Limbaugh showed long-range forecasts from 7-10 days ago that showed some possible storm tracks putting Irma further out in the Atlantic before hitting South Carolina or North Carolina and not Florida.

http://thehill.com/homenews/media/350089-limbaugh-slams-media-lies-and-misstatements-over-irma

[font size="8"]Arthur Jones
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From: Idiots #4-5

Sarah H. from Peoria, IL asks:

“Hey Top 10 I love your show. I’m about to put on one of my favorite movies, the Blues Brothers, and I remember – wasn’t there an actual Illinois Nazi running for office?”

Well thank you Sarah! We depend on viewers like you. And yes, you are right, there was an Illinois Nazi running for office!

“Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.” – Jake Blues

Well, where are the Blues Brothers when you need them? Because we’re going to introduce you to an actual Illinois Nazi. And when you guess what party he’s affiliated with, the answer will shock you. Or maybe not if you have been following this program for any length of time. This guy is a real gem too, and not only does he look like a bad rendering of Mr. Magoo, his ugliness will leave a bad taste in your mouth, because… whew.

Arthur Jones — an outspoken Holocaust denier, activist anti-Semite and white supremacist — is poised to become the Republican nominee for an Illinois congressional seat representing parts of Chicago and nearby suburbs.

“Well first of all, I’m running for Congress not the chancellor of Germany. All right. To me the Holocaust is what I said it is: It’s an international extortion racket,” Jones told the Chicago Sun-Times.

Indeed, Jones’ website for his latest congressional run includes a section titled “The ‘Holocaust Racket’” where he calls the genocide carried out by the German Nazi regime and collaborators in other nations “the biggest blackest lie in history.”

Jones, 70, a retired insurance agent who lives in suburban Lyons, has unsuccessfully run for elected offices in the Chicago area and Milwaukee since the 1970s.
https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/holocaust-denier-arthur-jones-republican-3rd-congressional-district-lipinski-newman/

Yeah sorry Jake, but this guy is definitely *NOT* on a mission from god. I’d say he’s more on a mission from Satan. He’s already got the Nazi trifecta – holocaust denier, white supremacist, and an activist anti-Semite. Can he go for the superfecta?

“Well, first of all, I’m running fo Congress not the chancellor of Germany,” Mr Jones said in an interview with the Chicago Sun-Times. “To me the Holocaust is what I said it is: It’s an international extortion racket,”

He went on to describe how he led the American Nazi Party and is currently head of the America First Committee. “Membership in this organisation is open to any white American citizen of European, non-Jewish descent,” he added.

Mr Jones had seven failed runs for the Republican 3rd Congressional District primary, but this time is running unopposed.

“The Illinois Republican Party and our country have no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” the Illinois Republican Party chair, Tim Schneider, said in a statement. ”We strongly oppose his racist views and his candidacy for any public office, including the 3rd Congressional District.”
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/arthur-jones-holocaust-denier-republican-nominee-congress-illinois-american-nazi-party-racist-anti-a8195421.html

Ding ding ding!!! We have the Superfecta! He said “America First”! Bravo, take a bow! And Mr. Schneider, before you go and condemn this guy, you should be aware that he’s currently running unopposed. Which makes him the perfect GOP target.

A former leader in the American Nazi Party is about to be the only Republican on the ticket for a congressional race in Illinois.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Arthur Jones, a Holocaust denier who has repeatedly tried ― and failed ― to attain office, is the only candidate seeking the GOP nod for the seat in the heavily Democratic 3rd Congressional District.

Images on Jones’ campaign website showed him speaking at KKK and neo-Nazi events, giving the Nazi salute and shredding the flag of Israel. He called the Confederate flag the symbol of “white pride,” “white resistance” and “white counterrevolution.” Jones also told the Sun-Times that the Holocaust was “an international extortion racket.”

Party leaders have disowned Jones.

“The Illinois Republican Party and our country have no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” Tim Schneider, chairman of the Illinois Republican Party, told the Sun-Times. “We strongly oppose his racist views and his candidacy for any public office, including the 3rd Congressional District.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/arthur-jones-republican-nomination_us_5a77d3f6e4b0905433b5bd84

Oh and in case you’re wondering what a gem this guy is, there’s more! So much more! In fact in the above article, he’s apparently amused that he has detractors. I mean this guy really is a fucking Nazi!

Jones mocked the party’s attempts to stop him.

“Well, it’s absolutely the best opportunity in my entire political career,” he told the Chicago Tribune. “Every time I’ve run it’s been against a Republican who follows this politically correct nonsense. This time they screwed up.”

Yeah because that’s how good Nazis operate! They blame those for causing their own failures! And of course he’d attack the “politically correct” crowd! Those damn snowflakes! If this is too much for you, go back to your safe spaces! And that’s not all! Wait until you see who else he’s attacked!

And in his most recent blog post — dated Aug. 24 — Jones rails against “Radical Leftists” and blames them for starting racial violence that had roiled Charlottesville about two weeks earlier. Heather Heyer, 32, a protester at a white supremacist rally, died after a driver rammed a car into a crowd of demonstrators. A self-professed neo-Nazi has been charged with first-degree murder in the incident. Jones painted the death as an accident.

Despite his views, Jones is all but certain to become the GOP nominee in one of Illinois’s most prominent congressional districts — one that includes parts of Chicago and several suburbs to the west and southwest. Jones is running unopposed in the Republican primary; the deadline for candidates to file was in early December.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2018/02/04/holocaust-denier-running-for-congress-has-no-opponents-in-republican-primary/?utm_term=.83e0fc007773

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Death By Cereal
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From: Idiots #5-6

Brittany C. from Henderson, Nevada asks:

“Hey Top 10 remember when the worst thing that could kill you was our breakfast cereal?”

Yes we do, Brittany! Yes we do!

Kansas City, It is time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Breakfast cereals. They come in all shapes, colors and flavors. You love them as a kid and you probably also love them just as much as an adult. However, one brand in particular has been getting hit hard in the news lately because of a massive recall. In fact the recall is so massive that it’s hit a sizeable majority of the United States. And before anyone asks if your breakfast cereal could possibly kill you, we answer with “yeah, probably”.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is urging consumers to stay away from a popular Kellogg’s cereal that has been linked to a massive salmonella outbreak affecting 100 people in 33 states.

“Do not eat this cereal,” the CDC tweeted Thursday along with a photo of Honey Smacks cereal. The agency revealed that 27 more people from 19 states had been infected from the outbreak since the last update on June 14.

In a statement released Thursday, the agency said, “Do not eat any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal, regardless of package size or best-by date. Check your home for it and throw it away, or return it to the place of purchase for a refund.”

According to CBS News, the Kellogg Co. announced in June that it was investigating the third-party manufacturer that produces the cereal after being contacted by the FDA and CDC about the salmonella outbreak. Kellogg's recalled the cereal on June 14.

At least 30 people were hospitalized due to the outbreak, the CDC said. No deaths have been reported. The agency said that illnesses that occurred after June 19 might not yet have been reported. On average, it takes two to four weeks between when a person becomes sick and when his or her illness is reported.
https://www.newsweek.com/cdc-warns-dont-eat-cereal-after-honey-smacks-linked-salmonella-outbreak-33-1022914

So that explains why you might get salmonella while eating Honey Smacks – they’re endorsed by what appears to be a frog on smack. And yes, we’re aware that Death By Cereal and Frogs On Smack recently played a double headlining show at the Troubadour. But of course like all things happening in 2018, this story gets weird.

A Utah couple says their 5-month-old son is the state’s only known person infected with salmonella in a nationwide outbreak tied to Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal and they’re struggling to comprehend how it happened.

When 5-month-old Andy Lyons contracted salmonella, his parents were left baffled.

“But then his salmonella matched the outbreak for the Kellogg’s recall,” mother Ashley Lyons said.

The link doctors found to the Honey Smacks outbreak may have answered one question, but raised several more in its place.

“Yeah, we still aren’t 100 percent sure how,” Ashley Lyons said.
https://www.wral.com/parents-say-5-month-old-got-salmonella-from-honey-smacks-cereal/17704959/

Here’s the thing – maybe don’t feed your five year old Honey Smacks! Although that might be safer than a lot of children’s food on the market currently.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says a popular Kellogg’s cereal has been linked to a salmonella outbreak that has infected 100 people in 33 states.

The CDC announced Thursday that customers should avoid Honey Smacks, tweeting, “Do not eat this cereal.” The agency says it found salmonella in samples of Honey Smacks, which has been subject to a voluntary recall by Kellogg since mid-June.

It says that regardless of expiration date, the cereal should be thrown away or returned to a retailer for a refund.

The CDC says at least 30 of the people infected in the outbreak have been hospitalized. It says most people infected with salmonella develop a fever, cramps or diarrhea within 12 to 72 hours of being exposed to the bacteria.
https://apnews.com/8f023952727c42e4abeb8cf77aa1c4ff/'Do-not-eat-this-cereal':-CDC-links-Honey-Smacks,-salmonella?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=AP&utm_source=Twitter&__twitter_impression=true

Yes – do not eat that. Do not feed your kids that. Do not feed your pets that. Just stay away from the bad cereal. Apparently there is an entire website dedicated to food poisoning that you need to be made aware of as they keep track of this sort of thing.

The cereal was first recalled on June 14, 2018. Two UPC numbers of the product were recalled. The recalled product had “best if used by” dates of June 14, 2018 through June 14, 2018.

But several days later, the CDC told consumers to not eat any Honey Smacks cereal of any size package or any “best if used by” date. No explanation for this huge recall expansion was given.

Consumers have been advised to throw away any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal, and to clean out containers if the cereal was decanted out of the original box. Even if some of the cereal was eaten and no one got sick, public health officials said discard it.

The cereal was first recalled on June 14, 2018. Two UPC numbers of the product were recalled. The recalled product had “best if used by” dates of June 14, 2018 through June 14, 2018.

But several days later, the CDC told consumers to not eat any Honey Smacks cereal of any size package or any “best if used by” date. No explanation for this huge recall expansion was given.

Consumers have been advised to throw away any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal, and to clean out containers if the cereal was decanted out of the original box. Even if some of the cereal was eaten and no one got sick, public health officials said discard it.
https://foodpoisoningbulletin.com/2018/kelloggs-honey-smacks-salmonella-lawsuit-filed/

Yes, that apparently might be healthier for you than a bowl of Honey Smacks currently is. That is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #5-21

Brad J. from Austin, TX writes:

“Hey Top 10, since everyone is holed up right now and taking suggestions of things to watch, is there anything we shouldn’t watch?”

Well, Brad, there’s one network you shouldn’t watch, and the Christian right has your answer!

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on… oh hey it’s a clip without context!

Oh yeah because an extinction level event is just so damn funny isn’t it? Well… spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Phoenix, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know in my quest to understand supporters of the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, I came upon a stark realization. And that is that they have a warped view of what is satanic or not. Because the man who they put on a pedestal as a shining example of GAWD himself is actually a DAYMON!!! And apparently there are organizations with views that one might call “satanic”.

End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles weighed in on the news that CNN’s Jim Acosta had his press credentials temporarily restored on Friday by declaring that CNN is part of a demonic effort to destroy freedom in America.

“CNN is consumed with the spirit of rebellion and sedition, which is witchcraft,” Wiles said on his “TruNews” program on Friday. “Let’s not make any mistake about identifying what this is.”

“And the source of witchcraft is the mouth of hell itself,” agreed co-host Doc Burkhart.

“This is a fight for survival and he has got to resist them,” Wiles added. “Mr. Trump needs to publicly state that he is calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to defend him. That is my prayer, that is my hope, that I hear Donald J. Trump publicly say, ‘I am calling on the name of Jesus Christ to fight my battles. My enemies are too great and too big and only God can help me.'”

Trump is “not fighting flesh and blood,” Wiles warned, but rather “demonic powers.”

“If they win,” he continued, “there will be no freedom in this country, perhaps for centuries. That is what this fight is all about, the elimination of freedom. Because it is a thoroughly corrupt, evil, wicked regime. They kill babies. They promote homosexuality. They promote sorcery and witchcraft. They’re evil. They’re wicked. Their wickedness is beyond our comprehension. That’s what we’re up against and that’s what’s trying to destroy President Trump. And if they succeed, the rest of us are going to be devoured by them. That is a fact.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-cnn-is-demonic-and-seeks-to-destroy-freedom-consumed-with-witchcraft/

No, Rick, that is not a fact, that is well, it’s whatever the opposite of a fact is! So apparently CNN is something that someone might call “Satanic”. But no! Let me show you what real SATANISM is, ladies and gentlemen! But yes these people really do think that CNN is the spawn of the devil himself!!!

Religious Right radio host E.W. Jackson said on his “The Awakening” program yesterday that he will not believe anything reported by CNN because founder Ted Turner has said negative things about Christianity.

Turner, who once called Christianity “a religion for losers,” has reportedly softened his view in recent years, but Jackson still refuses to trust anything that CNN reports because he believes that the network is in league with Satan.

“CNN was founded by a renowned, convinced, convicted atheist,” Jackson said. “That spirit, that anti-Christ anointing is still on that thing, which is why their lead anchor is how he is. I don’t need to go any further than that, but he’s a confused young man and it’s because that spirit of atheism and anti-God and anti-Christian mindset just permeates that thing. So they’re not going to get anything right because when you’re that off—see, I really believe this—when you’re off spiritually like that, it’s very hard to get anything else right.”

Likewise, Jackson went on to say that he would refuse to be operated on by a surgeon who is an atheist.

“I’m serious,” he said. “I don’t care how good he is supposed to be because I believe when you’re that off about the fundamental nature of life, I can’t trust you with anything else. That’s it. Sorry. I can’t trust you with anything else because, to me, you are in league with the spirit of Satan. Why would I want to entrust my life to you and give the devil a shot at me? No, thank you.”

The same principle applies to CNN, Jackson said. “When the root is poison, guess what? The fruit is poison.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/e-w-jackson-doesnt-believe-cnn-because-the-network-is-in-league-with-satan/

Yes, the DAYMON hellfire is everywhere and the scourge of the wrath of GAWD shall not go unnoticed, can I get an amen!!! For it says in our good book “judge not lest ye be judged”, does it not? And I can prove it, I have it right here. But that’s not real SATANISM. Nothing is, at least how they are describing it! Here’s some real Satanism at work!

A group of Satanists that sued Netflix for $50 million for allegedly copying the image of its goat-headed deity has "amicably settled" its lawsuit with the video streaming giant.

The Satanic Temple organization claimed Netflix and Warner Bros. had copied the image of Baphomet -- a winged, half-man, half-goat figure that has been worshiped by various occult groups -- in its program "The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina."

A reproduction of the figure appeared in four episodes of the show without the group's permission, the group claimed.

But the group's leader said the suit has now been settled, and that "the unique elements of the Satanic Temple's Baphomet statue" will be acknowledged in the credits of the show's episodes.

"The Satanic Temple is pleased to announce that the lawsuit it recently filed against Warner Bros. and Netflix has been amicably settled," Lucien Greaves wrote in a statement.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/22/entertainment/satanic-temple-netflix-lawsuit-scli-intl/index.html

So the DEVIL is all around us, as you can clearly see! If not in our news networks then it’s in our network shows! I mean it’s all well and good but what does the Church Of Satan really think?

There are two prominent Satanic organizations, and only one of them has a problem with Netflix's Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

The Satanic Temple filed a lawsuit against Netflix and Warner Bros. last week, alleging the statue of the Dark Lord in Sabrina's Academy of Unseen Arts infringes on the copyright of the organization's own statue of Baphomet. However, the Satanic Temple shouldn't be confused with the Church of Satan, which doesn't have a beef with the new Netflix series.

In a statement, the Church of Satan distanced itself from the Satanic Temple, which it says is known for "childish PR stunts" that "are not in anyway representative of the apolitical, individualistic and atheistic religion of Satanism."

The Church previously assessed FX's American Horror Story: Apocalypse and Sabrina, and noted, "Our members are watching these as many are horror fans and, as might be expected, some enjoy them and others find them not to their tastes—mileage varies amongst our folks who care enough to view it. We aren’t a collective, but a varied cabal of individuals, so to each his own!"
https://www.cbr.com/church-satan-netflix-sabrina-statement/

Yes, because apparently the devil works more among us than GAWD and JAYSUS do! Now in the Good Book does it not say that the dark one shall appear as creature of light? Yes, yes, it does I have it right here in front of me, sir! I mean even the church of SATAN says that DEMONIC forces are far more at work than an organization reporting on the news!

Satanic graffiti found in old bunkers is the work of "pranksters" rather than devil-worshippers, says an expert.

The symbols found in the warren of tunnels under Fort Austin in Plymouth are linked to Satanism, Church of Satan high priest Peter Gilmore said.

But he dismissed them as the work of teenagers "to upset the people who discover them" and said Satanists would have their "own home ritual spaces".

Police said the site was dangerous and the council pledged to block it up.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-devon-46017331

There you have it folks, the DEVIL may not be working in CNN but he is definitely working in our media and our graffiti! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Unpopular Opinions: Billie Eilish & Van Halen
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From: Idiots #7-22

Leigh N. from Spokane, WA writes:

“Hey Top 10, I am from the younger generation. Why does the older generation hate it when we don’t know their taste in entertainment?”

Well, Leigh, let’s just ask Billie Eilish what she thinks about the subject.

Look people, stop freaking out about the fact that Billie Eilish doesn’t know who Van Halen is. Hell at this point I’m not even sure that Eddie Van Halen knows who Van Halen is. Hey I watched The Dirt! Yeah that’s what a lifetime of hookers and blow will get you. Watch any movie from the 80s, doesn’t matter if the references are from Ferris Bueller or Beetlejuice, you will find plenty of dead references that don’t apply to a society in 2019. Dead references are as old as time itself. Popular culture comes and goes. There's people being born today who will have no idea what the hell a Sears or a K-Mart are! The people who are freaking out about Billie Eilish not knowing who Van Halen is, are probably coming from the same parents who started freaking out when their kids didn’t know who Led Zeppelin was. But here’s the thing – Billie Eilish is 17! It’s OK for 17 year olds not to know 40 year old bands! Can we calm down and pull each other’s heads out of our collective asses please?

Is there anything more tedious than a music snob? Apparently not, given the rush to pile on 17-year-old Billie Eilish earlier this week, and all because she hadn’t heard of the rock band Van Halen.

The revelation took place on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the late-night host decided to quiz Eilish on whether she’d heard of artists such as Madonna (she had) and Van Halen (she hadn’t). Upon learning she was blithely unaware of the Seventies rockers, Kimmel’s reaction was one of horror, despair, and glee. “I’m gonna start crying,” he exclaimed, perhaps acknowledging that Eilish’s knowledge gap was actually highlighting his own age. “You’re making me look so dumb,” Eilish fretted in return.

While this was an innocent enough exchange that riffed on the age-old tradition of intergenerational repartee (“young people don’t know how easy they have it”, “old people don’t understand technology”, etc), the comments about Eilish online were harsher. There’s a particular type of person who relishes any opportunity to highlight the perceived ignorance of younger generations. Yet there’s absolutely no reason why Eilish, or anyone her age, should give a fleeting moment’s thought to a rock band who carry little to no weight in the 21st century. Why does she need to prove herself, when she’s become the biggest success story the music industry has seen in years? Clearly, she knows something these older critics don’t.

Besides, had Eilish told Kimmel she was a massive Van Halen fan, hardcore fans would likely have revolted, insisting there was no way she could be serious – she’s too young. There was a similar reaction when Justin Bieber was spotted wearing a Metallica T-shirt in 2015. He had no right to like them, hardcore fans decreed.
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/billie-eilish-van-halen-jimmy-kimmel-rock-music-spotify-a9234371.html

Shut up!!!! Take that article’s advice – there’s nothing worse than a snob! These are the same kinds of people who blame bands for being too political in 2019 when they’ve been political since the early 1990s! Like Anti-Flag or Pearl Jam, hey there was a time before Trump and social media existed. But you know what enough of my rambling let’s play the clip.

And here’s where there’s nothing worse than being a snob. I’m a Gen Xer, and I’m totally OK with all of this. But here’s where music snobs need to shut the hell up. People get old it happens. When the young generation doesn’t know the old generation’s music, it’s OK! Be lame and be proud of it! Until then shut up!

Today in “can we all please leave Billie Eilish TF alone,” the 17-year-old singer is being dragged by boomers for not knowing who the band Van Halen is. Which, no offense to Van Halen, but WHY DOES ANYONE EVEN CAAAAARE.

The moment in question went down on Jimmy Kimmel Live when Jimmy asked Billie to “name a Van Halen” and she responded, “Who?”

The audience was shook that Billie doesn’t know who the famous band is (again, she is only 17!), and Twitter wasted no time dragging her. But those tweets are lame, so here’s a couple from everyone mocking them instead:

Meanwhile, Wolf Van Halen chimed in, writing, “If you haven’t heard of @BillieEilish, go check her out. She’s cool. If you haven’t heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They’re cool too. Music is supposed to bring us together, not divide us. Listen to what you want and don’t shame others for not knowing what you like.”

And Nine Inch Nails art director Rob Sheridan also chimed in, saying, “RE: This Billie Eilish/Van Halen thing, honestly, it’s extremely good that hair metal finally doesn’t matter anymore. We worked extremely hard to kill hair metal in the ’90s, thank you teens for giving it an unceremonious ‘okay, boomer.’ Imagine being a teen in the ’90s and people being shocked that you didn’t know or care about Perry Como. Because THAT’S HOW OLD VAN HALEN IS NOW.”
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a30101300/billie-eilish-van-halen-clip-response/

OK boomer. And yes thank you Rob Sheridan for saying what needed to be said on this subject! Hair metal is a dead genre! The days of doing gratuitous amounts of coke and blow off hookers’ stomachs is no longer a thing. Yeah if you want to relive your glory days then go listen to SiruisXM’s Hair Metal station and leave the rest of us alone! Shit, even Eddie Van Halen’s own son supports Ms. Eilish’s claims!

Don't shame people who don't know Van Halen.

That's the message straight from Eddie Van Halen's son.

Wolfgang Van Halen, who also plays bass in his dad's band, is taking up for current music phenom Billie Eilish.

Eilish, 17, caused a stir recently during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

Kimmel asked her to name some members of the famed band.

"Who?," she said. "No, who is that?"

"I'm gonna start crying," Kimmel joked.

The internet also had feelings.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/03/entertainment/van-halen-billie-eilish-trnd/index.html

Yeah seriously stop talking. Even Eddie Van Halen himself has defended Billie Eilish in saying that it’s totally OK – and as I’ve said dead references are dead references. Doesn’t matter the time or the place, and I’m sure your grandparents freaked out when you didn’t know who Dean Martin was. What? He’s the guy who sings “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie”. Nobody? Well, you’re not alone! I must say though I do love Smash Mouth’s response:

Billie Eilish has been defended by Van Halen after the singer acknowledged she hadn't heard of the popular 1980s rock band.

Jimmy Kimmel asked the "Bad Guy" singer on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on November 22 whether she could name a member of Van Halen, to which a puzzled Eilish responded, "Who?"

On Twitter on Monday, the band's 28-year-old bassist, Wolfgang Van Halen, the son of the founding member Eddie, told fans to check out the 17-year-old singer.

"If you haven't heard of @billieeilish, go check her out. She's cool. If you haven't heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They're cool too," he tweeted.

Wolfgang Van Halen also told people who had criticized Eilish after the Kimmel interview not to "shame others for not knowing what you like."

The '90s rock band Smash Mouth, popular for its songs "All Star" and "I'm a Believer," also defended Eilish, tweeting: "We grew up listening to #VanHalen and we're old as fck so why would @billieeilish know who they are? #NoDiss."
https://www.insider.com/wolfgang-van-halen-defends-billie-eilish-not-knowing-the-band-2019-12

[font size="8"]The XFL: How Is This Still A Thing?
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #8-7

Greg H. from Syracuse, NY asks:

“Hey Top 10, you love to talk smack about the XFL, but what is going to happen to that, given everything that is going on?”

Well, Greg, the XFL may sadly, no longer still be a thing.

It’s time once again to ask:

This week – the XFL: How is this still a thing? Way back in 2018, Vince McMahon, the chairman and CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, announced that he was bringing back his once-failed NFL rival, the XFL. And this time around it was going to have a more conservative, MAGA friendly approach after the Colin Kaepernick circular firing squad ensued. But let’s focus on one team first: The Los Angeles Wildcats who in their first week, got stomped. Which meant that for their home opener, nobody showed up. Yes, they have abysmal attendance ratings and a poor quarterback to blame for why the team is currently in last place.

It looks like the Los Angeles Chargers aren’t the only pro football team struggling to put butts in seats. Check out the scene before the XFL's Los Angeles Wildcats hosted the Dallas Renegades Sunday at Dignity Health Sports Park.

While those were images and video from before the game began, the scene wasn’t too much better at kickoff, with well over half of the seats at the small stadium still empty.

It’s not the first XFL game to feature a less-than-packed house, either. Early television ratings were strong, however, and one wonders if the rising ticket prices in Week 2 had something to do with the scene in Los Angeles.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/xfl/hardly-anyone-showed-up-to-watch-xfl-game-in-los-angeles/ar-BB103JZx

Yes, the X is for Xtreme! So the Los Angeles Chargers and the LA Rams are struggling to get fans to attend games, but then come the Wildcats of the XFL and say “hold my beer”! Well, despite the extremely poor attendance, makes things even worse when the Wildcats fired their defensive coordinator literally after the first game. Guess you could say that things are going well for that particular team?

The XFL's Los Angeles Wildcats made a series of unusual moves Monday, two days after losing their first game in the league's inaugural season.

The Wildcats fired defensive coordinator Pepper Johnson in a decision that head coach Winston Moss called "difficult."

Meanwhile, linebacker and team captain Anthony Johnson tweeted that he is now a "free agent."

The Wildcats confirmed Pepper Johnson's firing in a statement from Moss.

"We recognize that there are issues we need to address for the 2020 season," Moss said. "While these decisions are difficult, we have given this significant thought. We are here to put the best possible product on the field for our fans. We thank Pepper for his contributions to the Wildcats and we are looking forward to our home opener this weekend."
https://www.espn.com/xfl/story/_/id/28673130/xfl-wildcats-fire-defensive-coordinator-pepper-johnson-losing-opener

You could say that the LA Wildcats are a dumpster fire of an organization, but that’s the least of this league’s problems. So what is the XFL and why do we need it? There’s plenty of professional and semi-professional leagues around the globe. But this one is gaining the most attention and it has very few teams and even fewer people willing to go see games, especially with its’ pro conservative, MAGA friendly bias. Seriously, even the patron saint of quarterbacks, Tim Tebow, turned down an invitation to the league.

Tim Tebow confirmed Sunday that he declined an invitation to play in the XFL to continue his pursuit of a Major League Baseball career.

“Yeah, there was some communication,” the former Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback at Florida and Mets farmhand told reporters with a chuckle as he reported to the team’s spring training camp in Port St. Lucie.

“For me, this is what I wanted to do, and pursue this and be all in,” said Tebow, 32, who will be entering his fourth season in professional baseball and has yet to reach the majors.

Tebow’s baseball career hasn’t offered much promise, He owns a career .223/.299/.338 slash line in three full minor-league seasons and hit just .163/.240/.255 in 77 games at the Triple-A level last season.

Had he joined the XFL, Tebow would have unquestionably been the league’s biggest star on notoriety alone. The league, which just completed its second week of play, is lacking in recognizable names.
https://www.tampabay.com/sports/vipers/2020/02/17/tim-tebow-said-no-thanks-to-xfl-invitation/

Well so the league has very poor attendance and teams aren’t exactly getting off to what one would call a great start. In fact, things are going so poorly for the XFL in the first two weeks of games that the stand out star of the first week, Matt McGloin of the New York Guardians, slammed his coaches because well, they didn’t exactly know what they were doing.

The New York Guardians pulled off an upset win in Week 1, but facing what might be the best team in the XFL on the road in Week 2, Matt McGloin and the Guardians offense endured a nightmarish day at Audi Field in DC. The Defenders improved to 2-0 with a 27-0 shutout of the Guardians, and McGloin struggled mightily, with just 44 passing yards and 2 interceptions, good for a rating of 10.1.

McGloin had to do a live sideline interview after throwing his first pick of the day, and things got even more awkward during his halftime interview with ESPN’s Dianna Russini.

McGloin’s performance never improved, though, and he was eventually pulled for backup Marquise Williams after throwing a second interception. In a wild scene you’ll only see in the XFL, McGloin did a third live interview after being benched, and the QB didn’t hold back.

The XFL’s signature sideline interviews add a whole different dimension to the presentation of games – but they also give players an opportunity to potentially alienate coaches or teammates. The Guardians’ trip home to New York on Saturday is going to be a long one.
https://ftw.usatoday.com/2020/02/matt-mcgloin-slams-his-own-coaches-in-awkward-interviews-during-awful-loss

So calling the XFL a dumpster fire is definitely selling it short. Could it be improved? Yes. Are the between play interviews a good idea? Absolutely not. And are the games expected to improve and draw an audience anytime soon? Well that could happen because the XFL needs fans. Or it could not. But there is one thing you can expect for future games.

In the days since the Houston Roughnecks' XFL opener Saturday, wide receiver Kahlil Lewis has heard from a lot of people about what he did in the game.

No, it wasn't about any of his five catches for 45 yards, including a touchdown, or the 37-17 Roughnecks victory over the Los Angeles Wildcats. Instead, they were contacting him about something that happened in the first quarter.

Three plays into the game, Roughnecks quarterback P.J. Walker threw a 50-yard touchdown pass to wide receiver Cam Phillips. Lewis ran down the field to celebrate after chugging a whole bottle of Gatorade, and he was the first player to reach Phillips after he scored.

When Lewis was lining up for the 1-point conversion, he threw up.
https://www.espn.com/xfl/story/_/id/28681743/xfl-roughnecks-kahlil-lewis-works-set-record-straight-viral-vomit-video

So bad quarterbacks, poor attendance, in between play interviews, and on field vomit. That’s enough to make you ask – The XFL:

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. Because even in the end times we still have our fair share of stupid people. What? My producer is telling us that it’s not the end times. Fuck! But I wanted to bring about this story. One of my favorite things is when people can’t do math. And last week, before the end of days, one of my favorite stories was of the fallout of Michael Bloomberg, who blew a whopping $500 million on his campaign. But here’s the thing – if you can’t do math, you should probably keep your mouth shut on the subject. Because it makes you look… well, it makes you look like a dumbass.

Mike Bloomberg spent over $500 million during his short-lived campaign to become the Democratic nominee for president. And while that's a lot of money, it's nowhere near enough to make every American a millionaire.

Two reporters claimed otherwise on MSNBC in a clip that has gone viral on Twitter. "It's an incredible way of putting it," New York Times Editorial Board Member Mara Gay tells MSNBC's Brian Williams in the clip. "It's true, it's disturbing, it does suggest, you know, what we're talking about here, that's there's too much money in politics."

The reporters were repeating a March 3 tweet from freelance journalist Mekita Rivas. "Bloomberg spent $500 million on ads," Rivas tweeted. "The U.S. population is 327 million. He could have given each American $1 million and still have money left over. I feel like a $1 million check would be life-changing for most people. Yet he wasted it all on ads and STILL LOST." Rivas has since set her Twitter account to private; her still viewable Twitter bio currently reads "I know, I'm bad at math."

<snip>

At the time of publication, the Census Bureau estimates that there are 329,363,945 people living in the United States. If Bloomberg did divide his $500 million campaign budget between every American, each person would get less than $2.
https://www.businessinsider.com/mike-bloomberg-couldnt-give-every-american-1-million-2020-3

Ooh man that felt good. But yeah nice try people. Next up, we got to talk about minor league baseball for a minute. Yeah it sucks that there’s no sports of any kind being played right now. But the thing with minor league teams is that they get into some absolutely ridiculous promotions. But maybe don’t promote your team with one of the most infamous double murders in American history. Yeah really don’t go there.

The Charleston RiverDogs, a minor-league baseball team in South Carolina and Class A affiliate of the New York Yankees, have removed an "OJ Trial Night" promotion that was slated for late May. The decision came in response to backlash the team received for announcing the promo, which was going to highlight both O.J. Simpson's 1995 murder trial and orange juice.

"After taking a step back and having further reflection on the overall message that was being conveyed, it was the responsible thing to do," team president Dave Echols told the Post and Courier.

The night, which was originally scheduled for May 26, was promoted as a "juicy spin" on the most famous trial of the 20th century. Based on the event description, that phrase was meant to be a pun with the joke being that fans would get asked questions about orange juice. This is how the evening was described:

The trial of the century gets a juicy new spin. We will finally receive the verdict that everyone has been waiting for … pulp or no pulp?.

Fans will act as our jury, voting with custom paddles to reach verdicts on various topics throughout the night. The eyes of the nation will be upon us. Fans will receive an "OJ Trial" shirt upon entering the stadium. If the shirt don't fit, you must … see if we have a different size.
https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/minor-league-baseball-team-cancels-oj-trial-night-following-backlash/

Yeah no stop it! That’s the kind of thing we’re trying to avoid here. Next up – in a scene eerily reminiscent of Deadpool – a paraglider attempted to land and got sucked into power lines! I know that seems like a horror show doesn’t it? But we can happily file this one into the “People Are Dumb” file because the pilot was thankfully safe and nothing bad happened but still. I mean this is a scene straight from Deadpool 2.

A paraglider had to be rescued after he flew into power lines and became trapped in the wires for more than three hours.

The man become entangled in the power lines Wednesday afternoon while trying to land near the Yuba County Airport in Olivehurst, California, the Yuba County Sheriff's Department said in a news release.
Jimmy Comstock, who lives nearby, told CNN affiliate KTXL that he saw two paragliders in the sky before one separated and flew straight into the wires. "I seen two of them coming," Comstock said. "One went that way and the other come over the trees, dipped down in the road then tried to get out of the road and then hit the wires."

The Pacific Gas and Electric Company quickly turned off all the power in the area to prevent the glider from being electrocuted, while rescuers responded and began work to get him down.

"Our main focus was letting him know to stay in contact with the aircraft, not to try to reach out, touch us or move around as much so that the aircraft stayed still and wouldn't potentially fall," Olivehurst Fire Battalion Chief Randy York told CNN affiliate KTXL.
Officials said the pilot was conscious and communicating with first responders when paramedics transported him to the hospital to be evaluated.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/20/us/paraglider-rescued-power-lines-california-trnd/index.html

Yeah so that is art come to life! Seriously! Next up – with all the health things in the news right now, it’s hard to sort fact from fiction. But one thing is for certain – maybe don’t use your ass as an orifice for inserting potatoes. Yeah that’s not exactly something that I would recommend, and I’m not a doctor. So even actual doctors are advising against this.

Doctors have issued a warning against putting frozen potatoes in your anus.

This comes as an increasing number of hemorrhoid sufferers have reportedly taken to the internet to seek alternative solutions to their problem instead of consulting doctors.

Now, it has emerged that an altogether unusual solution is being touted online: that inserting frozen potatoes into your anus for 30 minutes is the answer.

Per Wales Online, one article claims: "Here's what you need to do: Peel a raw potato and cut into thin slices, like you do it for French fries.

"Put the slices into the freezer and wait until they are frozen.
https://vt.co/lifestyle/doctors-are-warning-people-not-to-put-frozen-potatoes-in-their-anus/

Finally this week – being sober is a very serious deal. And there’s plenty of ways to celebrate being sober if you are into that sort of thing. But one way *NOT* to celebrate your sober anniversary is to do something ridiculously stupid. Like I don’t know, buy a motorcycle if you don’t have a license for it. And that’s exactly what this guy did.

An Arizona man arrested for allegedly stealing a motorcycle from a Kawasaki dealership told police he was “celebrating 4 months of sobriety and decided he wanted” a chopper, according to court records.

Investigators say that Jackson Hanley, 29, was actually intoxicated when he walked into a Mesa dealership earlier this month and “grabbed a Kawasaki motorcycle and began pushing it down the street.”

Hanley, who rode his bicycle to Kelly’s Kawasaki, had his theft bid thwarted when a customer alerted an employee that a crime was in progress. Police were then summoned and Hanley was located about a mile away. “The defendant,” a cop noted, was found “resting on a fence with the bike slightly tipped over but still upright.”

Hanley, cops say, “admitted to stealing the motorcycle. He said he was celebrating 4 months of sobriety and decided he wanted a motorcycle.” Hanley reportedly said he was “going to walk it back home and try and start it there.”
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/kawasaki-copped-791354

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 1
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome to the kick off of the 2020 Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State contest! It’s Round 1 Week 1 so that means that anything goes. And due to the Coronavirus outbreak, our teams tonight may or may not be playing in front of a live audience depending on whether or not the city of Denver approves it or not. Now that said, we have not one but two exciting matchups tonight! In the first corner, representing the Batshit Conference, we have the #1 seed Virginia playing the #2 seed Kentucky in a battle of heavyweight contenders! Not to be outdone, in the Family Values Conference, last years' champion Alabama is praying to god against #2 Oklahoma! The winner moves on to the next round and the loser goes home! We go live to the floor of the home of the hottest team in hockey, the Colorado Avalanche, for the first round action!

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference Semifinals: #1 Virginia Vs #2 Kentucky[/font]

[font size="4"]Virginia[/font]

Virginia may be for lovers, but that doesn’t help that the state is completely, totally batshit fucking crazy. It has voted overwhelmingly conservative in the last 4 years. It’s also the home of everyone’s favorite Christian diploma mill, Liberty University. And Liberty, as we previously reported in
Idiots #8-5, has a completely batshit insane plan orchestrated by Falwell to turn a percentage of Virginia’s precincts over to West Virginia that could completely remake the borders between the two states! And come on guys, at least have a better name for your plan than “Vexit”.

The leaders of the grassroots movement known as VEXIT today announced the next steps for Virginia counties to abandon the radical policies of Democrat Party leaders in Richmond by joining the free state of West Virginia.

The steps, announced by Rick Boyer, a Rustburg, Virginia attorney and the President of VEXIT, include a new effort to gather signatures on petitions to local governments, the distribution of key new information about the inability of the Virginia government to intercede in the process, and the appointment of Jerry Falwell, Jr., the President of Liberty University, as the Honorary Chairman of VEXIT.

VEXIT plans to increase its outreach to citizens to encourage them to demand a vote in their local county (or independent city) this fall to become a county in West Virginia. More information is found on VEXIT's website, https://vexit2020.com/.

"This movement can't be stopped by Richmond because Virginia's Constitution already gives local communities the right to do this," said Falwell.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/vexit-leaders-announce-next-steps-144200119.html

Yeah no that’s a terrible idea. But what’s even more shocking is that this is having a reverse effect on the two states as West Virginia is now saying that they don’t want the Virginia counties! Man I have a feeling that Falwell fucked up (shocker) and that this could turn into a real life turf war. Yeah during this time that’s the absolute last thing we need!

A Virginia congressman said he thinks its better for counties from West Virginia to join the Commonwealth than the reverse as proposed in VEXIT.

VEXIT, a proposal made in January by Jerry Falwell, Jr. the son of televangelist Jerry Falwell, Sr. and president of Liberty University and West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice, calls for Virginia counties to secede the state in favor of joining West Virginia.

“I love West Virginia, I have family there. Our goal is to have West Virginia counties to secede to us. So, how about we work that way, right, first?” said U.S. Rep. Denver Riggleman (R-VA).

“I think as we get more people involved I think in politics, and people see that they want their freedom of liberty over government oppression, I think you’re going to see people say ‘Hey, you know what? We can bring Virginia back to where we need it to be. We don’t need to go somewhere else.”
U.S. Rep. Denver Riggleman (R-VA)

Falwell, during the media conference announcing VEXIT said, “We need a state government that is not elected by federal workers in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., that will protect our God-given rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and I believe West Virginia will do just that.”
https://www.wfxrtv.com/news/local-news/rep-riggleman-prefers-w-va-counties-to-join-virginia-rather-than-a-vexit/

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

The Bluegrass State is no stranger to being at the top of the Batshit Conference. After all, they are home to the two worst senators in the entire country – Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. And thankfully things are starting to change for the better in the Bluegrass State, but we have a long way to go before it’s considered flipped. For one thing, while Andy Beshar is doing a good job of running things, there’s still the fallout from the Matt Bevin era, where we had one of the worst governors in the entire state.

When the Louisville Courier-Journal revealed earlier this month that former Kentucky governor Matt Bevin (R) had pardoned a slew of violent criminals during his final weeks in office, he cited his belief in second chances.

But on Thursday, Bevin offered a different explanation for one particularly controversial pardon: He said he didn’t believe that a 9-year-old girl was raped, because her hymen was intact.

“There was zero evidence,” Bevin told talk-radio host Terry Meiners of WHAS.

Already under fire for handing out pardons to relatives of his supporters, Bevin is now facing an onslaught of criticism from medical and forensic experts. Scientists have debunked the notion that inspecting an alleged victim’s hymen can prove whether they were sexually assaulted, and found that most survivors of child sexual abuse do not have any physical damage. George Nichols, an expert in evaluating child abuse who also served as Kentucky’s chief medical examiner for 20 years, told the Courier-Journal on Thursday that Bevin “clearly doesn’t know medicine and anatomy.”

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/12/20/matt-bevin-micah-schoettle-child-rapist-hymen-intact-pardon/

Whew, that is a stunning level of creepy there isn’t it? And what is it with these anti-abortion creeps and hymans? I know that part of the female anatomy but still… creepy! OK moving on, you know the other thing that makes Kentucky weird? Guns. They have guns. And they have lots of guns. And they are not afraid to use them either. Or parade them around while attending rallies at the capital, because, guns.

Gun owners from around Kentucky showed up armed at the state’s Capitol building in Frankfort on Friday, rallying for gun rights and protesting a proposed “red flag” law and other potential gun limits in the state.

The group “We Are KY Gun Owners” organized the rally, the Louisville Courier-Journal reported, and the event featured speeches from Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) as well as Dick Heller, the plaintiff in the case over the Washington, D.C. gun ban, District of Columbia v. Heller, that the Supreme Court eventually decided in Heller’s favor.

Previous gun rallies at the state’s Capitol building exposed a gun-friendly loophole in the Capitol’s rules, the Courier-Journal observed: Umbrellas and sticks are banned, but not rifles.

The photographer Bryan Woolston was on-hand for the event. See his photos for Getty, below:
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/gunmen-some-in-masks-swarm-ky-capitol-for-2nd-amendment-rally?fbclid=IwAR2KR-bsh76u5zDrcY9ooWWfGd1O15ww-XvtLQ8p1MlmEbW0Ci4UufEhLbM

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Wow, this was a close one. And tied at 94 with less than 5 seconds to go, Kentucky… misses the rebound!!! Virginia picks it up, and they score! It’s good! Final second – Virginia 96, Kentucky 94. Ouch, Kentucky put up a good fight but we will see you next year!

[font size="4"]Family Values Conference Semifinals: #1 Alabama Vs #2 Oklahoma [/font]

[font size="4"]Alabama[/font]

Alabama, you know them as the Yellowhammer State. You may Roll Tide when it comes to the Family Values of Alabama. They are of course the home of Jeff Sessions and failed Senate candidate and super creepy pedophile weirdo Roy Moore. But if you want to know how Alabama treats its’ family values, just consider that they’re the state full of compassionate conservatives and good ol’ boys. In fact they don’t take too kindly to strangers.

The Alabama Senate has passed a bill that would ban gender therapies such as prescription hormones or gender confirmation surgery for minors.

The legislation would make it a felony for medical providers to prescribe puberty-blockers or hormones to anyone under age 19, or perform gender confirmation surgery on them. It passed 22-3 and now heads to the House of Representatives.

The bill's sponsor is Trussville Republican Sen. Shay Shelnutt. Shelnutt said Thursday that children shouldn't be given “experimental” medications or procedures that could have permanent effects.

Mobile Democratic Sen. Vivian Davis Figures questioned whether lawmakers should restrict healthcare decisions made between parents and children.

Read more: https://www.apr.org/post/alabama-senate-oks-bill-banning-gender-treatment-minors

Apparently they don’t think of the children much in the Yellowhammer State. But where else does Alabama lay king to the crown of Family Values? Well just take a look at their police department. You know John Oliver did that piece on local sheriffs. But this is why you shouldn’t trust any state where the flag is a giant red X. Because you get shit like this.

The assistant police chief of a tiny Alabama town has apologized for a Facebook post in which he suggested U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could be targeted with a roadside bomb.

Jeff Buckles, the assistant chief of the Geraldine police department, took to Facebook after Pelosi, the Democratic House leader, ripped apart a copy of President Donald Trump’s State of the Union speech on Tuesday night.

“Pelosi just ripped up his speach (sic),” Buckles wrote in the public post, which since appears to have been deleted or removed from public view. “Road Side bomb on her way home and any other Dumbocrats.”

He later apologized in a follow-up post for “venting on FB,” saying his remarks “definitely offended” some people.

Read more: https://www.al.com/news/2020/02/alabama-cop-posts-online-about-roadside-bomb-for-nancy-pelosi-other-dumbocrats.html

[font size="4"]Oklahoma[/font]

The Sooner State is no stranger to Family Values. They’re the home of another senator who is with the swamp, James Inhofe. And it’s also good to know that in this times of crisis and peril, Oklahoma knows what’s really at stake. No it’s not that millions could be infected by COVID-19. It’s that your abortion rights are at stake and the Christian right is moving to call “check mate” while the rest of the world is distracted, for you know, obvious reasons.

The Oklahoma Senate approved legislation Thursday to essentially prohibit abortions in Oklahoma after six weeks of pregnancy.

The Senate voted 36-8 for the bill, which now heads to the House for consideration.

The bill by Republican Sen. Paul Scott of Duncan would prohibit doctors from performing an abortion, beginning at six weeks of pregnancy, if a fetal heartbeat or brain waves are detected.

“Doctors take an oath to protect life, so this will also hold them accountable for that oath by taking away the licenses of any who violate this law,” Scott said in a statement.
https://www.publicradiotulsa.org/post/oklahoma-senate-votes-ban-abortions-after-six-weeks

And by the way, with hardcore family values comes some hardcore racism! So back in the early 1920s, Oklahoma was met with some race riots, which did not end well. And the incident had been not thought about in years, but with the recent HBO mini series Watchmen, there has been some interest resurging in finding out what actually happened. Well, it’s way more horrifying than you might think!

Results of subsurface scanning in search of unmarked burials from the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre will be reported to the public at 5:30 p.m. Monday at Carver Middle School’s Tyrone Wilkerson Auditorium, 624 E. Oklahoma Place.

Scientists will present their findings to a public oversight committee, who will then contemplate further steps in the search. The meeting is open to the public.

Initiated by Mayor G.T. Bynum, the investigation centers on nearly century-old rumors that bodies from the 1921 event were disposed of secretly. The official death count, based on death certificates and National Guard reports, is 37, but authorities said at the time they could not confirm that all deaths were accounted for.

In October, scientists with Oklahoma Archeological Survey and the Medical Examiner’s Office conducted tests at Newblock Park and Oaklawn Cemetery. It is the results of these tests that will be discussed Monday.
https://www.tulsaworld.com/news/tulsa-race-massacre-burial-committee-to-get-report-on-mass/article_b4ba6c67-979e-5446-8d59-68f860ca6159.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Oh this is no contest, Alabama handily knocks off Oklahoma to advance to the next round. Final score - 84 - 69.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 2 and we are live in Austin, Texas at the home of the Texas Longhorns, the Frank C Irwin Center, for all the action! It’s a battle of Fiscal Irresponsibility heavyweights as the Volunteers in #3 Tennessee go for broke against the Cornhuskers in #4 Nebraska! Meanwhile, in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s a duel to the death as the Desert Warriors of #3 New Mexico take on the Show Me State in #4 Missouri! It’s getting exciting, folks!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Iggy Pop[/font]

My next guest is an absolutely legendary punk rock performer. In fact you can see him perform at Carnegie Hall in New York City on March 6th. Playing his song “James Bond” from his new album “Free”, give it up for the one, the only Iggy Pop!!!
https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/5d717ce547318e000977d846/1:1/w_320/IggyPop_Free.jpg

Thank you for getting us through this incredibly difficult week! The full and proper Idiots you know and love will be back as soon as we can. See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded At: UCB Theater Franklin St,.
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
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March 4, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-9: Life's A Beach, Then You Die Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-9: Life’s A Beach, Then You Die Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Wichita? I think this is our first time ever in Kansas, how cool is that? Well you guys are in for a treat because today marks the return of the National For Fucks Sake Association and our 2020 Stupidest State! This is my favorite Top 10 of the year (with the exception of our Year In Review edition) because it’s Selection Sunday. And that means that we have all the info you need to fill out your brackets! Do we have time for the thing? OK so spring training is a thing that is happening. You know we had a planned piece this week about people who are planning to boo the Astros on opening day, but we’re going to save that when it gets much closer to MLB opening day. Of course if the Coronavirus happens, the Astros will get booed after someone uses their computer to hack the Angels’ PA system. Oh you know it’s happening. Some Dodgers and Yankees fans right now are plotting that. But I got to show this footage of my team, the Angels. And Mike Trout just launched this ball into pretty much low earth orbit:

https://twitter.com/PGATOUR/status/1234329544707989505

That is fucking insane. I think that thing is in low earth orbit right now. Hell I’m pretty sure that it hit the windshield of the Tesla roadster that Elon Musk launched into orbit last year. Some guy in Portugal is going “where the hell did this golf ball come from?”. I’m pretty sure that’s what the crazy aunt in Christmas Vacation saw when she started singing the National Anthem at the end of the movie. Yes, he hit that ball so far it could travel through time! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver tears into myths and stupidity surrounding the Coronavirus:

This week, the Coronavirus has dominated the news, and as such it’s going to dominate the Top 10 this week! In the first slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, and that’s Donald J. Trump (1). Here’s the thing – does everything have to be a conspiracy with these kooks? Well for those of us who live in reality, he’s gone off the rails on his response to the Corona Virus scandal and it’s quite insane. At slot #2 – is our annual look at all the ramblings from CPAC in Washington DC and this time the merger of the Alt Right and far right traditional conservatives is complete. Think the end of Terminator 2. Taking the third slot this week, is also Donald J. Trump (3). And his week-long stint in India as a guest of their Hindu nationalist prime minister Narajendra Modi was insane, and Modi has committed far worse crimes than Trump has. In slot number 4 is, well, we had a piece planned about Louis Gohmert and the lynch mob (great band name, BTW), but instead we have to talk about what happened between hip hop hall of famers Public Enemy and now former member Flavor Flav over what happened at the Bernie Sanders rally in Los Angeles. Yeah… WTF? Taking the fifth slot this week, is of course our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and in light of Trump’s trip to India this week we’re taking a look at some (not) shocking revelations surrounding the diet of our 45th president, and what he eats on a daily basis, and is it good for you? Easy answer: No. In slot #6 is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and the Christian right has some insane responses to the Coronavirus, and our resident pastor is going to go through some of them including Jim Bakker's controversial "Silver Solution" and praying away the virus! Taking the 7th slot this week, is a new “Beating A Dead Horse”. Dennis Prager’s Prager U sued Google after getting banned from Youtube, and there was a surprising verdict in the trial and we will tell you about it! In slot #8 is a new edition of “NO!” (8), and people, don’t profit from a tragedy. eBay shut down people selling items from Kobe Bryant’s memorial service, so yeah really don’t do that! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new “I Need A Drink”. And this week we’re going to raise our glasses and have a toast for Mad Mike Hughes, the Flat Earther who was so obsessed he built a homemade rocket to prove it, and sadly ended up dying in the process. Mad Mike, we salute you! Well, maybe not. Finally this week this is my favorite Top 10 of the year because it’s time for our 4th annual Stupidest State contest! And we kick off the games with our NFFSA presentation of Selection Sunday! Yes, we will give you all the states, stats, odds, and info you need to fill out your brackets and select our 4th annual Stupidest State winner! Plus the palate cleanser, we have some live music from our good friends 311 have returned and they are celebrating their semi-annual celebration of all things 311 on the Las Vegas Strip! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Corona Virus Hysteria
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The Corona Virus is absolutely dominating the news this week. As such, it takes up the top spot this week on the list. Of course when something goes viral this fast, things get weird. And if you are in the Trump world, everything that he is doing is fine, because Trump is every god in the book according the Trumpers, and everything else is a conspiracy against him. No, there’s no conspiracies here. The only thing working against Trump is some complete and utter incompetence, and it’s really starting to show, so the only people in denial are Trump’s biggest fans. It’s like the Corona slogan “Life’s a beach”, well, in this case, life's a beach, then you die, and you can fuck right off. And really, you don’t hand off the keys to a guy who will steer the ship right off the cliff and that’s exactly what Trump did to Mike Pence.

Vice President Mike Pence said Sunday that it is certain additional people in the United States will contract the new coronavirus spreading rapidly across the globe, but he said the risk to the average American remains low and the government is doing "everything possible to prevent the spread."

"There will be more cases. There's no question," Pence said on NBC News' "Meet the Press." But, he said, "the vast majority" of Americans who become infected "will be treated, they will recover."

President Donald Trump has put Pence in charge of a task force charged with coordinating the government's response to the outbreak. Pence stressed that the administration was taking "a whole of government approach."

"I'll have one of the most renowned experts in infectious diseases literally joining my staff in the West Wing tomorrow. We're going to bring the best scientific minds, experts together," Pence said, "We’re going to work every day to, to contain this disease, to treat those that are contracted.".
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/03/01/coronavirus-pence-says-there-more-cases-but-were-ready/4922246002/

Oh yeah this is fine. But here’s why you don’t put a guy like Mike Pence in charge of eradicating an evolving threat like the Corona Virus. He’s not very good at it! Pence can be “very confident” all he wants, but putting him in charge is like giving a blindfolded monkey a bunch of darts and expecting him to hit a dart board. Sure, he’ll try, but he will hit everything but the target no matter how many darts he has. But let’s look at Pence’s track record on diseases.

On Wednesday February 26, President Trump placed Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the response to the coronavirus outbreak in the United States. The gesture was partly politics—signaling the disease was important enough to require the vice president’s attention—but also built on a claim about Pence’s expertise as the former governor of Indiana. As he assigned him to this task, the president praised Pence, maintaining that Indiana under his leadership was a model for the country in its approach to health.

This weekend, on Saturday, Trump doubled down on that claim. Asked about Pence’s role in the response to an HIV outbreak in Scott County, Indiana, during his governorship. Trump responded, “I think he’s done a phenomenal job on healthcare. One of the best, if not the best, in the country.” He then turned the podium over to the Vice President.

Pence described his response to the outbreak of HIV in Scott County: “the state of Indiana did not allow for providing a needle exchange to citizens. But the CDC came in and made a recommendation. And I declared a public health emergency. And made for 30 days a needle exchange available in the state of Indiana. And I’m proud to say that every one of those patients was treated. We ended the spread of the HIV/AIDS virus in that community.”
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/03/02/how-mike-pence-made-indianas-hiv-outbreak-worse-118648

Oh and fuck you, Trump. Not everything that happens against you is a personal attack brought on by the other side. It’s your own incompetence that is to blame!! The sad thing is that this whole thing could have been prevented. But it’s gross incompetence and the US media’s tendencies for over the top theatrics that is making this that much worse. And let’s not forget that Trump gutted the funding for the CDC. Then blames it on everyone else.

The night before the South Carolina Democratic primary, President Donald Trump appeared in that state at a rally in North Charleston, where he appeared to downplay the threat of the novel coronavirus — and Covid-19, the disease it causes — by decrying it as a “hoax.”

Speaking before a crowd of thousands, Trump accused Democrats of politicizing the spread of the Covid-19, which has killed almost 3,000 people worldwide and infected at least 15 people (not counting those who were diagnosed with Covid-19 following their exposure to to the virus aboard the Diamond Princess cruise ship) in the US to date.

“One of my people came up to me and said, ‘Mr. President, they tried to beat you on Russia, Russia, Russia. That didn’t work out too well. They couldn’t do it.’ They tried the impeachment hoax,” said Trump. “And this is their new hoax.”

“The Democrats are politicizing the coronavirus,” Trump continued, and mocked the party by saying “can’t even count their votes in Iowa,” referring to the technological and human errors that led to a delay in the release of Iowa caucuses results. In response to those who have criticized his response to the virus’ spread, he said that his administration’s closing of US borders have kept the number of infections low domestically.
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2020/2/29/21159054/trump-coronavirus-strategy-democrats-hoax

Damn right!!! Funny that the people who accuse the other side of politicizing a tragedy are the ones politicizing a tragedy. Is it sad that we have to get our news from the president at one of his MAGA campaign rallies? It’s like watching a really bad stand up comedian who bombs at the chuckle hut and somehow gets promoted to selling out Madison Square Garden. Oh wait, I don’t have to, that guy is Sebastian Manascalco. They might as well just say that we’re on our own and it’s every man and woman for themselves. But one thing – it’s not Mexico’s fault, jackass.

The U.S. is banning travel to Iran in response to the outbreak of the new coronavirus and elevating travel warnings to regions of Italy and South Korea.

Vice President Mike Pence announced the new restrictions and warnings as President Donald Trump said 22 people in the U.S. have been stricken by the new coronavirus, including four deemed “very ill” and that additional cases are “likely.” Trump added that he was considering additional restrictions, including closing the U.S. border with Mexico in response to the virus’ spread.

“We’re thinking about all borders,” Trump said.

Trump provided an update on the virus from the White House press briefing room for the second time this week after the first reported U.S. death Saturday, of a woman he described as being in her late 50s and having a high medical risk. Robert Redfield, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said there was “no evidence of link to travel” in the case of the woman who died.
https://time.com/5793068/trump-border-covid-19-travel-iran-south-korea-italy/

[font size="8"]CPAC Recap
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You know there was quite a lot to unpack from the last week. What happened? There was a deadly disease that’s spreading around the world… you had Public Enemy break up, there’s a giant election in California that could decide the next president… oh yeah! There was the annual gathering of the deplorables known as the Conservative Political Action Committee, which this year got overshadowed by a hip hop group from the fucking 1980s! Lost in the news was all the insanity going down in Washington, DC which included an appearance from everyone’s favorite conspiracy theorist Alex Jones in his armored tank.

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, associates of his media operation Infowars, and other far-right activists are traveling to the nation’s capital this week for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. They’re also sponsoring separate right-wing events in the Washington, D.C., region, including one featuring former Republican U.S. Senate and gubernatorial candidate Corey Stewart of Virginia, according to the event’s registration page.

Stewart’s Senate candidacy drew criticism for its ties to right-wing extremists, so much so that the National Republican Senatorial Committee decided not to invest in his 2018 campaign. Stewart was the Virginia state chair of Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign and received Trump’s endorsement for his 2018 bid for Congress. He was previously set to appear at a similarly fringe-right event in 2018 but withdrew after our reporting.

Jones announced on his Sunday Infowars broadcast that he planned to travel to CPAC and that his company had sponsored two other events hosted by National File, a right-wing media outlet led by the operator of a popular pro-Trump Facebook page called God Emperor Trump. National File will host two events featuring Jones and like-minded speakers: an “Emergency Save the First Amendment Summit” in Washington Wednesday, where Stewart is set to appear, and a separate reception near the CPAC venue in Maryland Thursday.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-and-pals-are-coming-to-cpac/

Excuse me a minute… but that wasn’t the only batshit crazy thing that happened at CPAC this year, it was exactly the shit show that everybody expected it was going to be. So of course if you follow the GOP lately, like I do, you know that they view Trump as a deity and anyone who opposes him as a socialist Satan worshipper. But who’s the real economic threat? If you ask conservatives, it’s not billionaires like Jeff Bezos or Charles Koch. They have a much different opinion. Hold your boos.

Continuing the “America vs. socialism” theme of the Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland, Friday, Ivanka Trump, daughter and adviser to President Donald Trump, and Larry Kudlow, Trump’s top economic adviser, presented the U.S. economy under Trump as a bastion of freedom under attack by socialist forces.

Kudlow, director of the National Economic Council, began the conversation by addressing the heightened anxiety around the coronavirus and the stock market, which had its worst week since 2008, telling CPAC attendees that socialism is a far bigger threat to the American economy than the coronavirus is.

“The virus is not going to sink the American economy. What is or could sink the American economy is the socialism coming from our friends on the other side of the aisle,” Kudlow said.

Kudlow told American investors that they shouldn’t worry if they’re longterm investors; he then proceeded to encourage investment, adding, “you might think about buying the dip.” Studies show that timing the market—trying to buy cheap stocks when the market crashes—doesn’t work, which prompts the question why Kudlow is encouraging it or if he’s just trying to make his boss happy.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/at-cpac-ivanka-trump-and-larry-kudlow-paint-democrats-as-economic-threat/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Shut up!!! Do you guys even know what the idea of socialism is? We have socialism but for the billionaires. Come on, you guys have the fucking Daily Caller as a moderator. You might as well have the KKK moderate. And there’s no coup going on here either, not everything that happens is a personal affluent to Trump, OK? If you think that’s insane, wait until you see how they treat one of their own!

Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk spoke at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today, where he praised the audience for booing when he mentioned the name of Sen. Mitt Romney, who was publicly “uninvited” to the event after he voted to call for witnesses during President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial.

When Kirk mentioned Romney’s name during his speech, the audience booed and Kirk encouraged them to do so.

“Correct answer,” Kirk said. “Every time his name is mentioned, you should respond that way because he lied to every single person in this room that knocked on doors for him, that made phone calls for him, that donated to his campaign. We thought that he was going to be a crusader against the Marxist president that preceded Donald Trump. And now he asks and he begs for the endorsement of Donald Trump for the Senate in Utah, and then he goes and votes for the sham unconstitutional impeachment.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/charlie-kirk-mitt-romney-should-be-booed-every-time-his-name-is-mentioned/

Uh oh, Mitt Romney had an independent thought! That’s bad for the cult! You know that’s one thing – if you join our side, we have all the cool celebrities! If you join the conservative side, you have to put up with dipshits like Charlie Kirk and Kid Rock. And by the way, in case you’re wondering where their Socialist Derangement Syndrome is showing, they are terrified at the mere mention of the word “socialist”. It’s their kryptonite. Oh be afraid, GOP, be very afraid!

President Donald Trump's speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference Saturday was short and sweet compared to his more than two-hour long address last year, which remains the longest speech of his presidency.

Like his campaign rallies, Trump's CPAC speech this year catered to his base -- in particular, the mix of conservatives the conference attracts -- and its content reflected that. Between mocking the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates and thanking God for his administration's accomplishments, Trump managed to speak more honestly than at last year's CPAC address, which had the most false claims for any single speech he's given as President.

During Saturday's speech, Trump made a point of noting he does not like to be repetitive. Nevertheless,r he repeated at least six false claims on topics ranging from impeachment to the economy.
Russia, if you're listening

Ragging on the media, Trump claimed the video of his previous "Russia, if you're listening" comment was cut off "right at the end so you don't then see the laughter, the joke." The comment Trump is referring to was from a 2016 press conference where he asked for help obtaining his opponent Hillary Clinton's deleted emails and infamously said, "Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/01/politics/trump-cpac-fact-check/index.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s take a look at the relationship between India and the United States. The two countries are undergoing a dynamic shift in culture and thanks to social media propaganda, are shifting extremely far to the right. So why does India love Trump? Well as John Oliver pointed out, Trump and India’s PM Modi have a lot in common. They’re both loved and supported by nationalist extremists and they’re both self-centered egomaniacs who spend a lot of time on social media. That said, the differences between the two are uncanny. The only difference is that Trump doesn’t exactly participate in state sanctioned murder, at least not yet. We hope it doesn’t come to that.

A potentially brilliant foreign policy strategy unfolded last week during President Trump’s trip to India. Hardly anyone in America knows that, or has been talking about it, because it’s hard to find a journalist who filed an interesting or insightful story from New Delhi.

Trump’s visit to India reflected a complex approach for strengthening America’s hand in South Asia and triangulating Russia, China and India in Central Asia. But, rather than assessing what was happening on this trip from a geopolitical perspective, most journalists subjected Americans to a predictable Trump-diminishing snarkfest. A central storyline was that Trump flew halfway around the world to get the adulation of 100,000 Indians in a cricket stadium, broadcasted back to the U.S. at 3 a.m. Eastern time. Pseudo-psychologist commentators branded the trip an effort to “seek adulation” and “a sightseeing tour.”

But, as they like to say, here is the breaking news: Any day of any week, Trump could fill stadiums from Cleveland to Dallas with 100,000 cheering Americans who actually could vote for him, rather than flying a grueling 20 hours to India for affirmation. Actually, global power politics took place under the noses of an evidently clueless press corps and major agreements were discussed that could change the balance of power in Asia.
https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/485452-trumps-namaste-magic-in-india-eludes-american-media

You first. Come on, we elected the meanest, most self-centered jackass in American history. But is it any wonder why we’re going to shit? Trump isn’t just a side effect he’s the problem. Don’t worry, we will get to what he did with the food in a minute. But Trump’s idea of diplomacy isn’t exactly bringing what one would call “peace and good will”. Instead, Trump’s level of diplomacy is chaos and destruction. Think the Gotham riot scene in the Joker movie.

U.S. President Donald Trump visited India last week for the first time. The trip packed in a massive welcome rally in Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s home state of Gujarat – one that Trump is unlikely to forget – and an array of deals touching upon defense, telecom, energy, and so on.

Modi wished to use Trump’s visit for various political and economic gains. The Modi government has suffered from international backlash against policies such as the controversial Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA) and the lockdown in Kashmir. This was an opportunity for Modi to rebuild his image. Further, India is also in desperate need of foreign investment to fight record levels of unemployment and boost sagging demand in its economy.

Yet, for the most part, these objectives were undermined during Trump’s visit, as the world’s eyes were transfixed elsewhere. Not far from Trump’s hotel in Delhi, communal riots erupted, resulting in an ever-increasing death toll and pulling away the attention of the international press corps who were accompanying the president. The riots turned out to be Delhi’s worst since the 1984 communal violence against the Sikh community. And even Trump himself admitted to having talked to Modi about the importance of religious freedom during their meeting.
https://thediplomat.com/2020/03/delhi-riots-turned-trumps-india-visit-counterproductive/

Trump is the Arthur Fleck of presidents. If he actually did shoot someone on 5th Avenue, I could guarantee that he could utter the line “YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE!” and it would not feel out of place! And guess what? With all that diplomacy they got very little to show for it. It was pretty much a MAGA rally in another country and it began and ended nearly the same as that rally in New Jersey a couple weeks ago did – disappointed fans and large piles of trash.

India’s prime minister, Narendra Modi, has Donald Trump’s number. More to the point, he understands the president’s obsession with numbers. How many people attended Trump’s inauguration? You guessed it. More than were present at any previous presidential inauguration. Trump’s IQ? Right again; it’s “one of the highest” and exceeds that of several really smart people, including, of course, former President Barack Obama. The intelligence of the participants on Trump’s former television show, The Apprentice? Well, they are geniuses with IQs that nudge two hundred. And so it goes.

Little wonder then that Modi assured Trump that vast numbers of admirers—five to seven million people, according to the president—would show up to greet him in Ahmedabad, the largest city in Gujarat, Modi’s home state. Let’s go with a charitable interpretation: something must have gotten garbled in translation. Ahmedabad’s population totals 8.6 million, so even Modi, who has his own fascination with numbers (he claims to have a fifty-six-inch chest), couldn’t possibly have mobilized his many minions to muster a crowd that met Trump’s outlandish expectations.

The prime minister did deliver on another front, though. He doubtless knows that Trump loves big walls and had some built to grace the occasion. Modi’s wall was four feet high and nearly a kilometer long. Its purpose: to ensure that the president’s delicate sensibilities wouldn’t be offended by the sight of slums during his motorcade from the airport. India’s poor population apparently shame Modi and had to be erased for the August occasion, which lasted all of thirty-six hours. Trump then promptly departed, having seen the Taj Mahal as well the fawning posters hailing the greatness of the American president and his host. An example: “Two Dynamic Leaders: One Momentous Occasion.” Kim Jong-un couldn’t have done better.
https://nationalinterest.org/feature/trumps-india-visit-was-little-substance-and-all-show-129002

[font size="8"]Public Enemy Vs Bernie Sanders
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There’s no debating that Bernie Sanders is arguably the most polarizing candidate of this or any presidential election cycle. Those that love Bernie, reeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly love Bernie (see: Top 10 #8-7 ) and those that hate Bernie, well, they really hate him. I actually had the privilege of attending the rally in Los Angeles this week where the shit show between Public Enemy and long time collaborator and founding member Flavor Flav (FLAVOR FLAAAAAAAAAAV!!!!) clashed for what may be the final time in their career. I mean really if Bernie can’t keep Public Enemy together, how is he going to unite the country? Seriously, I’m asking for a friend. Although when you look at it, one wonders how Chuck D and Flavor Flav did anything together, let alone for 37 fucking years. That is a long ass time to do anything! So here’s what went down.

Rapper Chuck D has fired comical hypeman Flavor Flav from the iconic Long Island hip-hop group Public Enemy following long-simmering tensions and a dispute over participation in a rally for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders.

"Public Enemy and Public Enemy Radio will be moving forward without Flavor Flav," a representative for the group and its spinoff said in a statement Sunday. "We thank him for his years of service and wish him well."

Flav, 59, born in Roosevelt and raised in Freeport, had sent a cease-and-desist letter to Sanders Friday objecting to "unauthorized use of his likeness, image and trademarked clock in promotional materials circulated by the campaign." Posted by the online music magazine Pitchfork, the letter from Flav's attorney Matthew Friedman goes on to say, "While Chuck is certainly free to express his political views as he sees fit — his voice alone does not speak for Public Enemy. … [T]here is no Public Enemy without Flavor Flav."

In a statement to HipHopDX, Chuck D's attorney said, "From a legal standpoint, Chuck could perform as Public Enemy if he ever wanted to; he is the sole owner of the Public Enemy trademark. He originally drew the logo himself in the mid-80's, is also the creative visionary and the group's primary songwriter, having written Flavor's most memorable lines."
https://www.newsday.com/entertainment/music/public-enemy-flavor-flav-chuck-d-bernie-sanders-1.42392260

FLAVOR FLAV!!! Holy shit, I think the craziest thing about this story is that Flavor Flav is 59 years old, damn! That means that Public Enemy has been a band as long as I have been alive! But here’s where this story escalated quickly. Public Enemy states that their dispute with Flavor Flav wasn’t about politics. Uh, what? I mean it’s Chuck D, pretty much everything he does is about politics. Shit, I remember when he hosted that Air America show way back when that was a thing.

Rap group Public Enemy split with founder member Flavor Flav but said on Monday that the move had been a long time coming and was not because of a dispute over its performance at a rally for U.S. presidential contender Bernie Sanders.

“Public Enemy did not part ways with Flavor Flav over his political views,” co-founder Chuck D and four other members of the hip-hop group said in a statement.

The band said Flav has been suspended from Public Enemy since 2016 when he failed to show up at a benefit in Georgia for singer Harry Belafonte.

“That was the last straw for the group. He had previously missed numerous live gigs from Glastonbury to Canada, album recording sessions and photo shoots. He always chose to party over work,” the statement added.

Flav and Chuck D were founder members in 1985 of New York-based rappers Public Enemy, known for making music with a strong political message. Their 1988 album “It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back” is considered one of the genre’s most influential.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-music-public-enemy/public-enemy-splits-with-flavor-flav-over-bernie-sanders-rally-idUSKBN20P35X

And in case Flavor Flav didn’t already regret this decision, well, he’s got a much different story than what Chuck D was telling the press. Now at this point you might be asking “HEY! Isn’t this supposed to be Top 10 *CONSERVATIVE* Idiots?”. And I answer you – this is my show, I get to talk about whatever the hell I want, damn it, and I was at this rally. So that said, here’s what Flavor Flav had to say.

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Flavor Flav isn’t taking his firing from Public Enemy lying down. The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer took to social media Monday to respond to news that he had been dismissed from the group, as well as several social media posts from co-founder Chuck D.

Flavor Flav was booted from the legendary hip hop act after the two sides engaged in a beef over Chuck D and other members of PE performing at a Bernie Sanders rally in Los Angeles under the name Public Enemy Radio.

Flavor Flav had issued a cease and desist letter to Sanders’ campaign, saying they were engaging in the “the unauthorized use of [Flavor Flav’s] likeness, image and trademarked clock in promotional materials.”

This enraged Chuck D, who fired off several vicious posts on Twitter accusing Flavor Flav of being a drug addict who was desperate for money. Public Enemy then released an official statement saying, “Public Enemy and Public Enemy Radio will be moving forward without Flavor Flav,” the group said in a statement. “We thank him for his years of service and wish him well.”
https://www.cleveland.com/entertainment/2020/03/flavor-flav-tells-chuck-d-you-cant-fire-me-from-public-enemy.html

Dude, seriously, Chuck D, you should have just given him a severance package and a gold watch, he’s probably already eligible for retirement. Hey come on, I kid. I’m not age shaming. But the disputes going between the two should probably stop. And Flavor Flav don’t do free benefits, that’s just the way he rolls. So who approved of what and where is this going? Well the answer is very polarizing.

On Wednesday, it was announced that Public Enemy would be performing at a Bernie Sanders rally this Sunday in Los Angeles ahead of Super Tuesday. However, not everyone in the legendary group is on board.

In a cease and desist letter obtained by SPIN, Flavor Flav, through his attorney Matthew H. Friedman of the Las Vegas law firm Ford & Friedman, accused the Sanders campaign of using the Public Enemy name and “likeness, image and trademarked clock in promotional materials” without his permission.

He went on to say that the Sanders campaign created “a false narrative” that the legendary rap group is supporting him. Flav said it is just Chuck D. performing at the Los Angeles Convention Center on Sunday.

“Sanders has promised to ‘Fight the Power’ with hip hop icons Public Enemy – but this Rap Icon will not be performing at the Sanders Rally,” the letter read. “To be clear Flav and, by extension, the Hall of Fame hip hop act Public Enemy with which his likeness and name have become synonymous has not endorsed any political candidate in this election cycle and any suggestion to the contrary is plainly untrue. The continued publicizing of this grossly misleading narrative is, at a minimum, careless and irresponsible if not intentionally misleading.”
https://www.spin.com/2020/02/flavor-flav-rips-bernie-sanders-campaign-for-using-public-enemy-name-for-rally-does-not-approve-your-message/

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The philosophy of “garbage in, garbage out” is certainly one that is not sustainable, and it doesn’t matter if it’s plants, humans, animals or the environment. And it certainly doesn’t help that the man who leads the United States Of America engages in this philosophy. Since the President’s trip to India, there have been some alarming revelations about what he eats on a daily basis. And none of it is good in any way, shape or form. In fact, what Trump eats on a daily basis is what you should teach your children not to eat. And when he went to India, the meal that they attempted to make for him didn’t exactly go over well with him. Which, as you can imagine, we are not at all shocked by.

Trump spends most of his day not eating. He prefers to skip breakfast and lunch. In the book Let Trump Be Trump, the authors, former aides of the President, wrote, "the president would usually go 14 to 16 hours without eating”. When Trump does eat however, he makes up for lost calories, and is notorious for his love of fast food. Let Trump Be Trump relates, “On Trump Force One there were four major food groups: McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza, and Diet Coke." Trump is also known for his love of deep fried macaroni and cheese, and fried taco bowls with extra sauce.
During The Day

When speaking to Fox News’ Jesse Walters in 2016, Trump stated, “If I can, I’ll avoid breakfast. In terms of that, I will have a lunch but my big thing is dinner. Breakfast, Jesse, if I can avoid it, I’m very happy to do that.” When he does eat breakfast however, his preference is either bacon and eggs or a McDonald’s McMuffin. “My favourite would be bacon and eggs…bacon medium and the eggs over-well.”

For lunch, the President enjoys a well-done steak, pizza, burgers or a meatloaf sandwich. He keeps the White House kitchen well-stocked with snacks including Dorritos and Lays chips.

Having mostly fasted throughout the day, Trump goes to town at dinnertime. According to his former aides, his preferred dinner is “a full McDonald’s dinner of two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, and a small chocolate shake – a total of 2,430 calories.” The average person eats about 2,000 calories a day. Trump spoke to CNN host Anderson Cooper about his dinner order, explaining, “It’s great stuff.”

Trump’s love of McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC and other fast foods comes from an appreciation of reliability and safety as well as taste. CNN quotes Trump as saying: “One bad hamburger, you can destroy McDonald’s. One bad hamburger and you take Wendy’s and all these other places and they’re out of business.”
https://www.newidea.com.au/donald-trump-diet

That sounds about right for the presidential diet. Now translate this to his trip to India last week, where things didn’t exactly go as planned when it came to meal time. As you can imagine Indian food is very vegetarian heavy, and Trump is mainly a meat eater. So when they attempted to serve Trump a vegetarian food, naturally it didn’t go over very well. In fact, it, like just about everything else from that trip to India, was the disaster everyone called it out to be.

United States President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump did not eat anything, including Gujarati delicacy Khaman which was part of the high tea menu, during their visit to the Sabarmati Ashram in Ahmedabad on Monday afternoon, its trustee said.

Trump and the First Lady visited the Ashram in afternoon for about 15 minutes in the midst of their roadshow from the Ahmedabad International airport to the cricket stadium in Motera. They were welcomed by Prime Minister Narednra Modi at the ashram.

"Some food items were arranged for the members of the visiting delegation, but neither the US President nor the First Lady had anything during their visit to the Ashram," said Sabarmati Ashram trustee Kartikeya Sarabhai.

Apart from ''Khaman'', a famous Gujarati delicacy, items like broccoli and corn samosa, apple pie, kaju katli and a variety of teas were part of the menu of the high tea for the Trumps.

"We saw the list of food items which might have been arranged for the officials who were part of the visiting delegation. But none of the dignitaries ate them," Sarabhai said.
https://www.indiatoday.in/trending-news/story/donald-trump-and-melania-skip-food-at-sabarmati-ashram-menu-included-khaman-and-broccoli-samosa-1649589-2020-02-24

So the President Of The United States essentially acted like a toddler when he was supposed to try new foods. Is anyone really surprised? Now here’s where it all comes into focus. Donald Trump of course acts like a 73 year old child in just about every aspect of his life. He is a fussy eater, he’s a bully, and he wants everything to be about him. So how do you treat a fussy eater? Well, you hide vegetables in his diet, and that did not go over very well.

President Trump’s former doctor reportedly hid cauliflower in his mashed potatoes in an attempt to improve the president’s diet.

Former White House physician Ronny Jackson told The New York Times that he regretted leaving his position before he could implement the diet and exercise regimen planned for Trump.

“The exercise stuff never took off as much as I wanted it to,” he said. “But we were working on his diet. We were making the ice cream less accessible, we were putting cauliflower into the mashed potatoes.”

Jackson announced in an early 2018 press conference that he intended to help the president lose 10 to 15 pounds and transport an exercise bike or elliptical machine into the White House, according to the Times.

The former physician left the White House after withdrawing his name for consideration as the nominee to become the Veterans Affairs secretary amid allegations of professional misconduct.
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/484496-trump-doctor-hid-cauliflower-in-mashed-potatoes-to-improve-diet

Unfortunately, Trump’s diet is not that simple. Just like a toddler, Trump has to be embarrassingly force fed vegetables. And he will most likely pick around them. But let’s ask someone who knows a thing or two about being force fed food, and that’s Ethan Suplee of the TV show “My Name Is Earl”. Since the show ended, he has been a champion on the diet and weight loss circuit after losing a shocking amount of weight and transforming his body. But then, he argues that some people can’t be changed, and it looks like Trump is one of those people.

Even though it's been reported that President Donald Trump's staff had been sneaking vegetables into his food, Ethan Suplee doesn't think it'll help. The My Name is Earl star has recently turned heads after shedding hundreds of pounds and replacing much of it with muscle. Though he was able to radically transform himself through diet and exercise, the actor told TMZ that it worked because he wanted to make the change.

"The biggest issue there, I think, is that if the person doesn't want to change, they're not gonna change," Suplee began. "So sneaking vegetables in food, I don't know if it's gonna be successful until that person wants to make a change for himself."

"As a little kid, my parents, my grandparents put me on all sorts of diets, they did nothing," Suplee continued. "They just made me, actually, sneak unhealthy food more. Sneaking vegetables to the dude, he's gonna be at Popeye's and Chik-Fil-A at night."

He also brought up chef Andre Rush, who's going to be on Suplee's new podcast, American Glutton. After describing him as a "bada— dude," he added his connection to the 45th president.
https://popculture.com/celebrity/2020/02/27/donald-trump-diet-ethan-suplee-reacts-my-name-is-earl/

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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My fair congregation! There is mass hysteria right now and I think we all need to remain calm. But no, I don’t see that happening in the near future. Because there is a dreaded, deadly virus that is coming our way. No, I’m not talking about the disease known as SATANism. I’m talking about the disease known as the Coronavirus. Because the news of the virus has gone mainstream and there’s lots of disinformation out there. And we don’t need a product of the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, making things worse. But Mr. Bakker, is a man who is no stranger to conning people. And cons are not good in the eyes of our good LAWRD JAYSUS! When you are seeking a cure for the Coronavirus, don’t fall for scams like this. Go see a real doctor, people!

A guest on televangelist Jim Bakker's show suggested on Wednesday that a product sold on Bakker's website might be effective at protecting against and killing the novel coronavirus.

The guest, naturopathic Dr. Sherrill Sellman, said that Silver Solution—a product that can be purchased on Bakker's web store—has been found to be effective on viruses related to the one from Wuhan. Further, she said Silver Solution could bolster a person's immune system and potentially make their bodies less susceptible to the virus.

"Well, let's say [Silver Solution] hasn't been tested on this strain of the coronavirus, but it's been tested on other strains of the coronavirus and has been able to eliminate it within 12 hours," she said. "Totally eliminate it. Kills it, deactivates it. And then it boosts your immune system so then you can support the recovery, because when you kill the virus, then the immune system comes into action to clear it out. So you want a vibrant immune system as well as an ability to deactivate these viruses."

Newsweek contacted Sellman via her website for further comment and clarification but did not receive a reply before publication.

The novel coronavirus emerged from the Chinese city in late 2019. The virus has since spread to 24 other countries, including the United States, though the majority of those infected remain in China. As of Wednesday, the virus has infected over 45,000 people and killed at least 1,100, according to the World Health Organization.
https://www.newsweek.com/televangelist-show-guest-promotes-silver-solution-cure-coronavirus-1487069

Hey wait a minute, why is my skin turning blue and my hair falling out? If only there were some kind of miracle cure. Damn you Brother Jim!!! What? Of course we’re allowed to swear in my church here. I believe in freedom of speech! But in case you’re wondering – no, there is no such thing as a silver cure for Coronavirus. If you’re going to ask then you are most likely in the wrong place, sir or madam!

There is no medical cure for coronavirus and all viral infections, which is why people are turning to nature for solutions. One of the known natural antivirus agents is colloidal silver, a traditional remedy whose antiseptic properties were used in ancient Egypt, the Middle East and India by royal households to keep water and other fluids fresh and to treat various infections. Until its ban in the 1930s, it was recognized and used as a broad-spectrum antimicrobial by clinicians to treat bacterial, parasitical, fungal and viral infections. But is Colloidal silver a cure for coronavirus as televangelists in the US and several news outlets claim? This article focuses on its antiviral properties in connection with coronavirus.

In the absence of medical solutions for coronavirus, people are turning to natural solutions such as colloidal silver. Because colloidal silver is a broad-spectrum antivirus, that also strengthens the immune system, it can potentially prevent or help to treat coronavirus infection. Many people are now taking it prevent infection. Websites that sell colloidal silver have seen an increase in article views and purchases of colloidal silver by people in Hong Kong and China.

On the Jim Bakker show, naturopathic doctor Sherrill Sellman said Silver Solution has been tested on some of the strains of coronavirus and found to effectively deactivate them and to boost the immune system. The product in the article sells for $125 (£95) but high quality colloidal silver can also be sourced from reputable sellers in the UK who ship globally – for as little as £9.99 for a 15ml bottle.
https://filmdaily.co/health/is-colloidal-silver-a-cure-for-coronavirus/

Well speaking of that, good Reverend, now, if modern medicine isn’t helping and turning to the good LAWRD JAYSUS isn’t helping, then what is? Well that’s where we come in! See here’s the thing – a deadly virus like the Coronavirus doesn’t take sides, it doesn’t care whether or not you got SAVED or not, it don’t matter. But can we pray away the Coronavirus or will it simply ignore us? Well, here’s one absolutely insane theory.

Right-wing pastor Jonathan Shuttlesworth predicted during a livestream last week that “America will be minimally affected” by the global coronavirus outbreak because of President Donald Trump’s support for Israel.

“If it’s a plan from the deep state to practice shutting America down [for] population control, it will fail,” Shuttlesworth said. “The Lord looks at the plans of the wicked and laughs, and men can’t override God’s blessing.”

“If God is for you, who can be against you?” he asked. “Read the Bible. A nation doesn’t have to be run by a perfect man for God to give goodness to a nation. ‘I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse those who curse you.’ Even Trump’s critics would have to say that he honors Israel. Now they can say, ‘He just does it to appeal to the Christian [base].'”

“They can say whatever they want, he honored Israel. Obama honored the enemies of Israel; Trump honors Israel, and it’s a massive difference. And because of that, I predict America will be minimally affected by coronavirus,” Shuttlesworth continued.

Shuttlesworth then added “a little caveat” to his prediction to claim that if America is affected by the virus, it will impact liberal states that “have chosen to give God the middle finger.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jonathan-shuttlesworth-america-will-be-minimally-affected-by-the-coronavirus-because-of-trumps-support-for-israel/

Well that won’t work, especially when you consider that the man who the Dark One has put in charge of eradicating this deadly disease was responsible for brought about the worst HIV outbreak in the state’s history! And that is something that the GOOD LAWRD will not tolerate! Nor will the good LAWRD JAYSUS tolerate stupidity of this magnitude. I mean even the Center For Disease Control is saying that this is complete and utter madness!

Earlier this month, right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman proclaimed that God would protect the United States from the coronavirus outbreak because of the Trump administration’s support for Israel and opposition to abortion.

While the Centers for Disease Control warned today that the spread of the virus in the United States is now all but inevitable, last night Kunneman and his wife Brenda held a “Prophetic Pulse” conference call in which Brenda rebuked the virus and commanded a “supernatural inoculation of the spirit” to come on the Earth and “bring forth healing and a cure.”

“Right now, we speak over this situation with this coronavirus,” she proclaimed. “We say to that virus that the hands of the Lord have come to clap against you and destroy you, and we say that it shall be quarantined by the mercy of the living God.”

“It’s being contained in Europe and Heavenly Father, it’s being contained in various parts of the world,” Brenda Kunneman continued to prophesy. “While they say cases are popping up, we speak a holy containment and a quarantine by the Holy Spirit to go across the land. And we say, ‘Lord, Let the angels of the most high go forth to be commissioned, to walk, and to benefit those that are heirs of salvation.’ But even those that are not part of the covenant, Lord, we ask for your mercy to be upon them and to drive this virus out into the dark places.”

“Let it be cast out from the nations and be contained, and to dissolve, and to be broken and neutralized by the power of the living God,” Kunneman declared. “We say, ‘Coronavirus, be neutralized in the name of Jesus and lose your power.’ We command that demon that is going forth, we say in Jesus’ name that it loses its strength and this thing dissipates, and even a supernatural inoculation of the spirit comes now and brings forth healing and a cure.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/brenda-kunneman-commands-a-supernatural-inoculation-to-cure-the-world-of-coronavirus/

Could this be the beginning of the rapture? Well I always thought it was going to be a horrible, fiery apocalypse. Instead it’s a trip to the fish market! I have figured it out everybody!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Google Vs Prager University
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Ever since the demise of Trump University in 2010 when it went belly up for bankruptcy issues (shocker), there’s been a number of fake universities peddling tons of misinformation vying to take it’s place. Well, we’ve found the one university that might be able to take its’ place and put Trump University to shame. And neither of these two things are easy to do! That “university” is called Prager U, founded by ultra conservative right wing talk show host Dennis Prager. Just like Trump University, Prager U has no central campus. Also, just like Trump University, Prager U is not an accredited college in any way, shape or form. Both universities exist entirely online. But there’s a huge difference between the two conservative “universities”. Trump University was out to scam regular students into what they thought was getting a degree in the real estate business. Prager U, on the other hand, is out to scam our social media outlets.

Dennis Prager, founder of the right-wing propaganda outlet Prager University, has a First Amendment right to lie about climate change, deny that straight people get HIV, viciously vilify Muslims, and declare that “men get turned on by any sight of female flesh.” He does not, however, have a right to upload these claims to YouTube and make money off them, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled on Wednesday.

PragerU may not be a household name, but it has a surprisingly broad reach: Its five-minute videos have racked up well over 2 billion views across platforms. Although these videos are presented as unbiased educational lessons, they promote exclusively conservative, often fringe views. Prager and his friends regularly condemn Muslims, LGBTQ equality, abortion, feminism, gun control, and campaign finance reform, and deny climate change. (The company is partly funded by fracking billionaires.) The outlet has mastered the art of grabbing viewers’ attention with a provocative video, presented as fact, then pulling them deeper down the rabbit hole into Prager’s bizarre world of toxic propaganda.

It is strange, and more than a little pathetic, that the 9th Circuit had to remind PragerU that YouTube is incapable of unconstitutionally censoring its videos. The Constitution prohibits Congress or the states from abridging the freedom of speech; as the Supreme Court reiterated last year, the First Amendment simply does not apply to private entities, even if they create an open forum for varying viewpoints. Yet PragerU has spent more than two years hounding YouTube in court. Its lawyers insist that PragerU has a constitutional right to host its videos on the platform and profit from them.
https://slate.com/technology/2020/02/prageru-first-amendment-youtube.html

You know there’s been no mistake that since Trump got elected to office, conservatives have been on a warpath against social media companies. We’ve pointed this out in Top 10 #5-2, when conservatives had Mark Zuckerberg testify on Capitol Hill about a bizarre conspiracy known as “shadow banning”. That’s not a thing. What is a thing is conservatives trolling social media sites to get their messages of hate and racism out in the open. Sorry to break it to you guys, but that’s private industry and they have the right to police the content they want. And in case you’re wondering what kind of person Dennis Prager is, well, this is not at all shocking.

Conservative radio host and founder of PragerU, Dennis Prager said that the left had made it "impossible" to say the n-word, even to decry its usage, on his radio show Thursday.

In response to a phone call to The Dennis Prager Show about racial hate and anti-Semitism in America, Prager addressed a question about why he chose to say "the n-word" before using a slur for Jewish people in a previous segment about the private racism and anti-Semitism of former presidents Harry Truman and Richard Nixon.

"But you mentioned that President Truman used to use the n-word all the time, and then, two seconds later, you followed it up with the word [a slur for Jewish people]," the caller asked.

"So, why didn't I say 'k-word'? Because the left has made it impossible to say the n-word any longer. That's disgusting, it's a farce. It's the only word that you can't say in the English language," Prager said.

"But why is it OK to say the k-word?" the caller asked.

"Because the left doesn't give a damn about that word. That's why. The left runs the country in the culture. The Republicans have the Senate and the presidency and that's very important. But the culture? And the more the left controls the more totalitarian it is. That is not an attack, it's a statement of fact, like two plus two equals four. It is idiotic that you cannot say the n-word. Idiotic," Prager replied.
https://www.newsweek.com/dennis-prager-thinks-its-idiotic-that-you-cannot-say-n-word-blames-disgusting-left-1487284

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Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Fucking A we don’t give a damn about that word! See, unlike you guys, we actually embrace diversity. We care about having a variety of opinions from all different walks of life. Just look at the range of opinions on Fox News. White man, white man, white man, old white man, bald white man, fat white man. And maybe an attractive blonde woman or two wearing short skirts thrown in for good measure. And don’t forget Jeannie Pirro, who probably thinks that animals getting tortured is funny, we don’t know. We’re just guessing. But there is one thing conservatives waging war on social media websites just can’t wrap their head around – they can police their own content!

A federal appeals court on Wednesday ruled that internet giants like Google and Facebook can censor content on their platforms, rebuking arguments from conservatives who claim the tech companies violate users' First Amendment rights by removing certain messages or videos.

With its unanimous opinion, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals became the latest court to dismiss arguments that platforms like YouTube can be sued under the First Amendment for decisions on content moderation.

"Despite YouTube's ubiquity and its role as a public-facing platform, it remains a private forum, not a public forum subject to judicial scrutiny under the First Amendment," Circuit Judge M. Margaret McKeown, a Clinton appointee, wrote in the opinion.

The three-judge panel upheld a lower court's decision to dismiss the case.

Dennis Prager, founder of the conservative advocacy organization Prager University, first sued Google in 2017 over claims that its subsidiary YouTube was prioritizing left-leaning content over Prager U's popular conservative videos.
https://thehill.com/policy/technology/overnights/485050-hillicon-valley-federal-court-rules-tech-giants-can-censor

No, diversity is not an old wooden ship from the Civil War era. But in case you’re wondering where the content for the conservative-based “university” comes from, if you say that it’s from shady sources, well, you are absolutely correct! Here’s the thing Prager U, you can talk all the shit you want about social media websites censoring conservatives. But as many a girlfriend would say “It’s not me, it’s you!”, and it is so much you! If you want to be taken seriously, altering your data to present a conservative viewpoint while trying to amp up the hysteria surrounding something that is really nothing is not exactly how one should go about doing things. I mean come on, how can you take something seriously when they got Yakov Smirnov as a guest lecturer?

PragerU cloaks its extremism in a veneer of respectability, and that’s crucial to its success.

The site, founded in 2011, is known for its polished and persuasive five-minute videos. Some videos focus on history, like the legacy of Christopher Columbus (apparently he’s gotten a bad rap) or the legacy of Franklin Roosevelt (the “New Deal” actually made things worse). Others tackle ongoing issues dividing the world such as religion (the West can thank “Judeo-Christian values” for its success) or the push for a $15 minimum wage (a bad idea!).

If you didn’t know much about the specific presenters, their bios give the impression that many of them are relatively mainstream right-leaning media figures. For instance, PragerU has videos hosted by multiple Pulitzer Prize winners, popular TV hosts, sports journalists, current and former Washington Post columnists, a Canadian former prime minister, a five-time Emmy Award winner, a nominee to head the Labor Department, a two-time presidential candidate, a former White House press secretary, as well as current and former faculty at respected institutions such as West Point, Stanford, UCLA, Harvard, and Princeton, among others.

Some of the site’s videos are … well, they’re fine. Comedian Yakov Smirnoff hosts a clip about the importance of laughter in healthy relationships. Col. Ty Seidule delivers a straightforward answer to the question of whether or not the Civil War was really about slavery (he says it was). Other clips, such as Adam Carolla’s ode to personal change, Jordan Peterson’s call to “fix yourself,” or Michele Tafoya’s “secret to success,” are just boilerplate self-help speeches we’ve all probably heard dozens of variations on in our lives. It’s the combination of respectable-sounding presenters with a handful of harmless clips that cover for the site’s hard-right ideology.
https://www.mediamatters.org/dennis-prager/prageru-relies-veneer-respectability-obscure-its-propagandist-mission

[font size="8"]NO!: Corona Virus Stupidity
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The Corona Virus is dominating the news right now. It’s like the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich, or the Korean boy band BTS – no matter where you turn, you can’t look away from these things. And like both of these things, there will be some weird guy in the comments section who is posting and spamming a video of scantily clad Korean dancers trying to get the views up... HEY! STOP IT! GO AWAY!!! SHOO!! Let me just block and report that guy. And when that happens, well, people get stupid. And when people get stupid, you can bet that things will get weird in a hurry. And you want to know how a story involving a deadly disease spreads? About as fast as the disease itself. Well let’s examine all the stupidity surrounding the Coronavirus, because it’s quite the stuff of insanity. It’s not just that the Coronavirus is a thing, but nobody wants anything having to do with the name “Corona” itself, like Corona Beer for instance. Just because it has the Corona name in it does not mean that it’s automatically associated with the Coronavirus, OK? I live right next to Corona, California and I still sit in traffic on the 91 freeway everyday for 3 hours in that city, and I still have to go there!

Chances are, you've heard sometime in the past week that "38 percent of beer-drinking Americans would not buy Corona under any circumstances now." The statement came from a survey conducted by 5W Public Relations, which argued the threat that coronavirus (Covid-19) would become a global pandemic is a PR disaster for the famous beer brand. The statistic proceeded to spread rapidly across news outlets, aided by a CNN tweet that went viral.

But is it true?

Constellation Brands, which owns Corona, just released a statement fighting the notion that recent events have negatively affected the brand. In fact, the company claims sales are actually up 5 percent in the U.S. over the latest four-week period, nearly doubling the 52-week trend for the brand.

But rather than jump into a defense against rapidly spreading misinformation, Constellation Brands CEO Bill Newlands did something very important, first.

He recognized the gravity of the situation, and shared a little empathy.
https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/the-ceo-behind-corona-just-responded-to-claims-that-coronavirus-is-hurting-beer-sales-its-a-lesson-in-emotional-intelligence.html

Yes, people, stop acting so stupid. And the reason why we act stupid in a time like this is because we have no emotional intelligence. Yes, that is a thing. When our emotions run high, we go crazy. it’s human nature. There’s plenty of reasons not to drink Corona beer. For one thing, it’s shitty beer. I mean really shitty beer. The only reason you should have Corona in your refrigerator is to use it to cook with when the recipe calls for a Mexican beer, or to pour one out for your homies. But here’s how insane this has become. Let’s look at Japan, where the TV manufacturer Sharp stopped producing TVs and stopped producing masks.

A television factory owned by Japanese electronics giant Sharp is to produce up to 150,000 masks per day, local media has reported.

Hi-tech “clean rooms” with low levels of dust and airborne organisms will be used to manufacture the masks.

The coronavirus crisis has seen many stores in Japan run out of masks, and the government establish a strategic mask reserve, the BBC reported.

The production line in Mie near Osaka normally makes LCD panels, but will switch over part of its production to making masks.

While medical opinion is divided over the effectiveness of masks, Japanese people often wear them during the cold and allergy season.
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/sharp-coronavirus-masks-factory-193412689.html

Oh come on, we can’t buy flat screens in the month of March 2020? Now how am I going to find out how the Los Angeles Wildcats lost to the New York Defenders by 3 lousy points? You should have gone for that weird 4 point conversion rule, LA! But at least the Surgeon General is proving to be one of the few sane voices in this otherwise insane administration. Because he is saying that masks might actually make the situation worse!

Community transmission of COVID-19, the disease caused by the new coronavirus, has officially begun in the U.S., with two cases in California and one in Oregon of unknown origin. The first COVID death was reported Saturday, Feb. 29, in Seattle. The natural human response to a strange, new disease making its way to a neighborhood near you is to feel anxiety and want to DO SOMETHING. That’s why many people have been buying up and stockpiling masks. But even if you could buy any in the midst of global shortages, should you?

No.

And if you already have masks, should you wear them when you’re out?

No.

Even if there are COVID cases in your community?

Even if there are cases next door, the answer is no, you do NOT need to get or wear any face masks—surgical masks, “N95 masks,” respirator masks, or anything else—to protect yourself against the coronavirus. Not only do you not need them, you shouldn’t wear them, according to infection prevention specialist Eli Perencevich, MD, a professor of medicine and epidemiology at the University of Iowa’s College of Medicine.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tarahaelle/2020/02/29/no-you-do-not-need-face-masks-for-coronavirus-they-might-increase-your-infection-risk/#45a98ccc676c

Thank you miss! It’s not enough that the surgeon general is telling people that the masks are completely fucking useless, it’s that the worst thing to come out of this whole thing is sheer, utter , total incompetence! And things aren’t getting better, they’re getting worse. But let’s make one thing clear – there are 3,000 cases right now. In a world where there is 6 BILLION people. Keep calm, everyone, and pull your heads out of each other’s asses. Ooh, I like that graphic. But self isolation definitely isn’t the way to go.

When LeighAnn Rorex woke up in her house near Los Angeles over the past two weeks, the only thing she looked forward to was one fewer day of coronavirus quarantine.

From Feb. 14, when she arrived from China and her aunt and uncle met her at Los Angeles International Airport, until Friday, Rorex was confined alone to her four-bedroom Hacienda Heights house, which does have a backyard. Her neighbor put up her roommate down the street, or else Rorex would have been trapped in her bedroom for two weeks.

“I would probably go crazy,” Rorex said on the phone during her last full day of quarantine.

The 36-year-old warehouse worker was one of some 8,700 people who have been under home quarantine in California to watch for coronavirus symptoms, as recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for people who recently visited China. There are hundreds in the Bay Area.
https://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/Surviving-coronavirus-self-quarantine-in-15093364.php

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: RIP Mad Mike
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Folks here in Kansas, it’s my first time here, and I could really use a drink!

When the news gets too dark, the only solution is to kick back with a glass of your favorite beverage of choice and talk about literally anything else. Well, sadly I wish I had better news, but this week, we are saluting the accomplishments of Mike Hughes. Now you might be thinking, “where do I know that name from”? And I answer you – he’s the member of the Flat Earth Society known as “Mad Mike”. We were first introduced to Mad Mike in Idiots #3-24 when he first attempted to shoot to the moon in a homemade rocket. Well, tell me bartender, what goes well with a story about the Flat Earth Society? A flat martini? I think I’ll have an actual martini thanks, and plenty of them! So how did our friend Mad Mike meet his fate? Well the phrase “homemade rocket” immediately is suspect. Also the phrase “self-taught rocket science”. Where did he get that knowledge from? Watching Wile E Coyote cartoons?

A US daredevil pilot has been killed during an attempted launch of a homemade rocket in the Californian desert.

"Mad" Mike Hughes, 64, crash-landed his steam-powered rocket shortly after take-off near Barstow on Saturday.

A video on social media shows a rocket being fired into the sky before plummeting to the ground nearby.

Hughes was well-known for his belief that the Earth was flat. He hoped to prove his theory by going to space.

Saturday's launch was reportedly filmed as part of Homemade Astronauts, a new TV series about amateur rocket makers to be aired on the US Science Channel. The project had to be carried out on a tight budget.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-51602655

Dude, you don’t have to go into space to prove that the earth is flat. There’s this thing we have called “the sun” and “the moon” that are in the sky that are round. And if I recall my physics classes, that’s exactly what the first astronomers used to disprove this theory over a thousand years ago! Now, we give groups like the Flat Earth Society a whole bunch of shit and they deserve it. But Mad Mike and his sad tragic demise aside, the Flat Society has grown in leaps and bounds in the last 3 years!

It is said that humans are not rational animals but rather rationalizing ones. We often find what is comfortable for us to believe and then look for the information that will justify these beliefs. How else could we explain the recent worldwide growth in the Flat Earth Society? You would think that with so much irrefutable evidence readily available on the web such crazy ideas would be in decline. The opposite is happening.

“Researchers believe they have identified the prime driver for a startling rise in the number of people who think the Earth is flat: Google’s video-sharing site, YouTube,” The Guardian reported in 2020. On the web, it seems that misinformation is battling with information and that misinformation is often winning.

Misinformation is certainly helped by those with a bottomless greed and lust for power and dominance. Mark Zuckerberg has decided that Facebook’s continued growth strategy is to profit from misinformation and fake news. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ is how Mark thinks. ‘We’ve made so much money already from fake news, why would a growth-at-any-cost company like Facebook change when it’s winning?’

Misinformation feeds off human emotion. Those in power can’t resist pushing the emotional buttons. It is so easy to manipulate people by calling to their most basic instincts. Fear, hate, violence and ‘common sense’ are powerful drivers. Why, it’s common sense that the earth is flat. Just look out your window. It’s flat, isn’t it?
https://www.cmswire.com/digital-experience/we-need-more-editors/

That is a good point. Mad Mike is a reminder that misinformation can not only hurt people emotionally, it can also literally kill you, as we have seen here in this story. But in trying to find stories on Mad Mike for this piece, I also had an interesting thought. And that is why do people who believe the earth is flat also support Trump’s proposed Space Force? Yeah that’s weird ven diagram of people isn’t it? That would be like if you asked Weight Watchers members what their favorite brand of quadruple cheeseburger is. I have my own opinion. It’s Wendys. Just because they’re square.

Not all conspiracy theories are necessarily destructive. Compared to the Birthers, the anti-Vaxers, the deniers of the Sandy Hook Shooting, the Holocaust and Climate Change, the resurgence of the Flat Earth Society of the 1800s seems relatively harmless.

Disagreement over the shape of our planet isn’t being led by the under-educated or the overly impressionable. Thousands of people admit they don’t believe that the Earth is round, and many attend the annual Flat Earth International Conventions for the past several years, posting an active presence on social media. As Tom Nichols, a Ph.D professor at the US Naval War College and author of “The Death of Expertise” says, “it takes a reasonably smart person to construct a really interesting conspiracy theory, because conspiracy theories are actually highly complex explanations. They are also challenging intellectual exercises both for those who hold them and those who would disprove them.”

After all, to suspect we’re being fooled about the curvature of the earth — what damage could that cause? It’s not the first time NASA has been accused of photo-shopping rocket launches, and little wonder; so many of its staff are rocket scientists and would know how to pull it off. It’s impossible for us land-based laypeople to verify such high-tech feats as a rendezvous with Russian Cosmonauts on the International Space Station; to believe that we live on a sphere suspended in an infinite cosmos requires faith in science, rather than faith in a god.
https://www.journal-news.net/journal-news/space-force-for-the-flat-earthers/article_c3bbf57a-710d-5017-8074-f99038a0e951.html

Whoa whoa whoa… they had to get actual Ph.D level physicists involved in this? I mean just… wow, that is completely insane. But just like all insane conspiracy theories, it is definitely dark in nature. And I could really go on all day about how insane the Flat Earth Society it. They’re just like any other group of crazy people out there. But when we think of Mad Mike and the Flat Earth society, we’ve got a long way to go to dispel all the media disinformation out there. But that said, Mad Mike, we salute you!

Michael “Mad Mike” Hughes was an enigma on a mission — to inspire and to upend.

The 64-year-old daredevil limo driver taught himself rocket science, crowdfunded the money to build his own steam-powered rocket out of spare parts and launched himself into the sky three times. He was also a flat-earther who didn’t believe in science. Or gravity, for that matter.

Those may sound contradictory, but maybe they’re not.

He also ran for governor of California in 2018, held a Guinness World Record for longest limo ramp jump in 2002, hosted a flat earth conference in Las Vegas in May 2019, had a documentary made about him called “Rocketman,” had an upcoming Science Channel TV show called “Homemade Astronauts” and harbored fringe beliefs about the government.

On Feb. 22, Hughes launched himself for the third and final time in his homemade rocket, just off Highway 247 in Barstow, California.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mad-mike-hughes-flat-earth_n_5e597924c5b60102211080c8

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to commence the 4th annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State contest! The National For Fuck’s Sake Association is back for another go-round with all four corners of conservative idiocy being represented: god, guns, greed, and pure batshit insanity! Last year we had quite the upset when Alabama stunned Florida and went on to win the tournament! What will happen this year? Just about anything goes! There will be 16 teams throughout this great United States of ours all vying for control of that most coveted of prizes: The Delay Trophy, named after NFFSA Hall Of Famer Tom Delay, who took his state of Texas to an unprecedented 8 consecutive titles during the George Bush administration. Now we go to the beautiful Ace Hotel in Los Angeles, California for the kick off ceremony and Selection Sunday!

[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome welcome welcome!!! It is my honor and privilege to be doing this for the fourth year in a row representing this fine organization and these fine teams. Of course before we kick this thing off, I want to congratulate last year’s winner, Alabama, again for a job well done! You represent the kind of conservative idiocy needed to win the tournament. Of course previous winners including Texas and Florida are no slouches either, they are also shining examples. Now as always, allow me to go over the rules of the contest. For the first round, it will be consisting of 2 rounds each week with 4 teams duking it out. Then in round 2, it will expand to two teams each week for the Elite 8 as it gets paired down to the Final Four. Round 3 will have 4 teams in two matches and the championship will have the last two teams standing get down to it. Of course, since we do encourage gambling, we will provide you with your own bracket and all the states, states, odds and info that you need to fill it out. Now let’s do this thing!!!

[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference[/font]

Since 1952, the Batshit Conference has the distinction of being the oldest and largest conference in the NFFSA. Consisting of a whopping 18 states, all flinging the finest guano at each other, and you never know what is going to happen! These states elect the craziest politicians to the game and they have an electorate to match their insanity. When you’re in the batshit conference, you don’t know whether or not your vote was cast or if your local police officers murdered an innocent man in his car during a routine traffic stop. It’s also the conference where armored tanks roam through the streets shouting social media propaganda and gun nuts roam the state capitol buildings armed with AR-15s and AK-47s. The Batshit Conference: Proudly bringing the insanity since 1952!

1. Virginia: Virginia may be for lovers, but it is also for some of the most insane things to happen in the country. Whether it’s angry teenage white boys rioting in Charlottesville carrying tiki torches and wearing uniforms that wouldn’t look out of place in a used car showroom, or gun nuts protesting liberal policies at the capital, you can bet that Virginia is always there to provide some entertainment and comic relief!
Smoking Gun: Jerry Falwell Jr has a completely insane plan to annex counties from Virginia and give them to West Virginia in a poorly named and poorly thought out plan called “Vexit”.
Odds: 2:1 – Virginia was one of the strongest teams in the regular season and they have the strength and drive to go far, earning them the top spot!

2. Kentucky: The home of everyone’s favorite senator that they love to hate, Mitch McConnell, is showing no signs of slowing down. In fact they may have fired their coach Matt Bevin, but Kentucky still has a long way to go before it can be flipped. But the Bluegrass State never fails to bring the crazy, and expect them to bring the crazy extra hard in the tournament!
Smoking Gun: Matt Bevin used his powers of pardoning to pardon a child rapist because – quote – her hyman was intact! Creeeeeeeeeeeepy.
Odds: 7:1 – While they are going up against one of the best teams in the tournament, Kentucky is always full of surprises and could advance in an upset!

3. Idaho: After a relatively quiet showing in the Gun Nut Conference last year, Idaho reexamined its' place in the tournament, changed conferences, and recruited a whole bunch of fresh new talent. The Gem State is also a very heavily rural state. And with rural living comes a lot of hardcore drugs and crystal meth laced insanity. But if a controversial plan to annex half of Oregon goes through, Idaho could become an even larger state!
Smoking Gun: Oregon’s gun nuts are so fed up that they’re considering leaving and joining Idaho.
Odds: 10-1. Idaho had a strong regular season and they could pull off an unexpected surprise but don’t count on it.

4. South Carolina: Another newcomer to the tournament. The home of Lindsay Graham has had no shortage of good old fashioned fire and brimstone conservative insanity. It’s a melting pot of hardcore evangelism, hardcore racism, gun nut insanity, and extreme fiscal irresponsibility. Not to mention they still love the Confederacy even in 2020!
Smoking Gun: Mike Pitts, a South Carolinian state representative with a history of being a staunch defender o f the Confederacy, was a Trump appointee for a judicial position.
Odds: 5:1 – South Carolina pulled out a last second win to secure a high seed in the tournament, expect them to go far!

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference[/font]

Welcome to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, where going for broke isn’t just a way of life, some consider it to be a contact sport. Since 1952, all of these teams are sponsored by Koch Industries. Along with other billionaire families like the Waltons and the DeVos family. You’re drowning in student debt while your boss is buying his sixth Maserati and enjoying a day of golf out at the country club. You’re in the negatives, your boss is out there burning money like the Joker in the Dark Knight. The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Proudly going for broke since 1952!

1. Michigan: The Wolverine State is always a show boater and a conference favorite in this race. They were once the backbone of the US economy, but since the US auto industry went bye bye, so did the city of Detroit. And their neighbors in Flint aren’t exactly doing what one would call prosperous business either. Will they go far in the tournament? Only one way to find out!
Smoking Gun: The manufacturing city of Battle Creek spent a whopping $93,000 for a Trump rally back in December and has yet to pay it back.
Odds: 2-1. They have upgraded their team in the offseason and got some very strong defenders, expect them to go far!

2. Pennsylvania: The Keystone State is home to two of America’s largest cities – Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. It’s also home to some crippling, Koch induced debt. While the major cities are home to some of the biggest businesses in America, rural Pennsylvania is home to the coal mines. Which with extreme climate change affecting the entire world, people aren’t exactly buying the “Clean Coal” argument these days.
Smoking Gun: Pennsylvania’s economy is hurting so badly that the Roman Catholic dioceses filed for bankruptcy!
Odds: 5-1: They are another team that got hot at the right time. They have a strongly upgraded defense, and they could be a major upset if healthy!

3. Tennessee: The Volunteer State missed out on last year’s tournament but they are back and ready to tangle! The home to the Smoky Mountains is also the home of some serious coal mining towns run by some seriously shady crooks. But that’s not all, some extreme fiscal irresponsibility is making Tennessee a surefire contender to win the conference.
Smoking Gun: An organization that tracks state spending has figured out that Tennessee has over $1 billion that it could spend on needy families but hasn’t!
Odds: 10:1 – They had a few injuries and stumbled a bit in the regular season. But if key players get healthy before the tournament starts, they could go all the way!

4. Nebraska:: A newcomer to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, Nebraksa is home to farmland as far as the eye can see. It’s also the home to some extreme industrialization that’s polluting the atmosphere. Nebraska’s chief export may be corn, but there’s nothing corny about the financial situation that their mostly hard right governors and representatives have got them into. See what I did there?
Smoking Gun: The University Of Nebraska outpatient center is so hurting that Madonna (yes, that Madonna) sponsored a wing to the total of $4 million.
Odds: 15-1: They are an underdog in the tournament as the experts expected them not to be here, but they did it and could be an upset happening!

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference[/font]

Armageddon days are here again! Well, they most certainly are if you live in the Gun Nut Conference! In these states, while you are busy figuring out which bucket of heavily preserved slop to add to your doomsday shelter, others are stockpiling weapons and ammo and driving through the streets in custom built armored cars! You have 50 rounds of ammo ready to shoot? Well the other guy has 500! And yes it’s the states where “pistol whip” is a dessert topping. It’s the conference where the ongoing debate between concealed carry and open carry could be considered a contact sport! It’s the conference where Dirty Harry is considered a documentary and then everyone and everyone is packing heat including your mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers… oh you don’t think Great Gam Gam is packing some heat? If only I had some kind of device I could use. The Gun Nut Conference: Proudly shooting first and asking questions later since 1952!

1. Oregon: Oregon got an upgraded team this year mainly because of how vigilant the Proud Boys were against those dreaded Antifa protestors in downtown Portland. But outside of Portland? Why you can guarantee that America’s farmers are packing some serious heat and prepping some hotel quality doomsday shelters in preps for the coming end times!
Smoking Gun: Oregon’s gun nuts are so fed up with Oregon’s leadership that there’s actually a plan similar to Virginia to annex Oregon counties and give them to… Idaho!
Odds: 5:1 – They have had some injuries during the regular season but they are always full of surprises. Could they go far? Only time will tell!

2. Florida: Florida *ALWAYS* has a strong showing in this conference because they are home to some extremely crazy felons, cons, ex-cons, and meth addicts, all of whom are packing some serious heat. Yes, they are known to have a mass shooting or two. But the addition of the always entertaining Florida Man prove that the Sunshine State is always fun to watch!
Smoking Gun: On the two year anniversary of the Parkland shooting, Florida is quietly advancing a bill that could allow guns in church!
Odds: 7:1 – Last year’s stunning loss to Alabama proved just how volatile having Florida Man on your team is. But you never know what could happen!

3. New Mexico: The state that gave us both Walter White and Nick Fury is no stranger to guns and heat. Especially heat considering that they live in a freaking desert! So of course 110 degree temperatures and very little to no moisture is going to screw with your head. In fact New Mexico’s gun nuts are so out of control that the government is taking measures to prevent things from escalating!
Smoking Gun: You know the first state that actually could take your guns away? New Mexico if their firearm seizure bill gets passed!
Odds: 3:1 – The desert warriors are new to this division, but they are no slouches when it comes to shooting both their mouths and their guns off ! Expect them to go far!

4. Missouri: The Show Me State is back for another go round! The state that is the home of Ferguson that gave birth to the Black Lives Matter movement, is no stranger to being surrounded by the almighty firearm. Sure, Missouri has Kansas City (which may or may not be in Kansas according to a certain president) and St. Louis and the inner cities and rural farmers are packing some serious heat! A second amendment heaven for absolutionists!
Smoking Gun: Missouri is debating a bill in the House that would allow concealed carry operators to carry guns on college campuses. What could go wrong?
Odds: 5:1 – Missouri has an upgraded defense from last year, but injuries plagued them during the regular season. A win over New Mexico would be a major upset!

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference[/font]

When you’re coveting your neighbor’s goods and bearing false witness, the only place to go is to head to your local house of worship and repent those sins, you godless heathens! It’s the conference where you can go pray to god one minute and then feed your vice the next. And the people in these states care more about a person when they are in the womb than when they are out of it. That’s right, while you are incubating in your mother’s uterus, the Christian right will do everything to protect you. And debating between the first and third trimester abortions and consulting the opinion of an actual doctor is considered sacrilege. But when you are out, you are on your own! It’s the states where Jon Bon Jovi is replaced with Toby Mac on the radio and your TV can’t say any icky words. The Family Values Conference: Proudly praying to god and preying on those who can’t help themselves since 1952!

1. Alabama: Last year’s NFFSA champions are back and they are better than ever. After pulling off a stunning upset against Flyover League champions Florida, they got a massive upgrade thanks to some trades at the trade deadline. Alabama’s worshippers are praying to their god daily and getting it done.
Smoking Gun: The 85 year old Senate candidate you love to be creeped out by, Roy Moore, is back to take on Doug Jones, and he is naturally tanking in the polls. If only there were some way to save him!
Odds: 2:1 – The odds on favorite to win the Family Values Conference is ready to take on the league’s best, and they can do some serious damage in this tournament!

2. Oklahoma: The Sooner State has been through some real Family Values shit in the last 100 years including race riots, and of course Trump. But now they’re back and ready to tangle with the best of the best in the league. And now they have a Trump-loving family values advocate for governor with the addition of Kevin Stitt, they have a governor who is ready to tangle!
Smoking Gun: A little known loophole in Oklahoma’s abortion laws says that it forces doctors to lie, which one clinic caught them red handed!
Odds: 10:1 – They’re going up against Alabama. They could win, but it would be a long shot and a huge upset if they did.

3. Ohio: The Buckeye State is no stranger to Family Values scrutiny and has been the home of some of the country’s worst sex crimes, made of course even worse by the fact that have elected and re-elected Jim Jordan, a Congressional representative who has actively tried to hide some absolutely horrifying sex crimes at one of this country’s most prestigious universities, Ohio State.
Smoking Gun: There’s allegations that Jim Jordan may have told multiple wrestlers at Ohio State to lie repeatedly about the abuse they were going through!
Odds: 5:1 – They can go far in this tournament due to the Ohio State scandal, but there’s plenty of other family values atrocities that take place in the Buckeye State all the way!

4. Indiana: The Hoosier State is always a Family Values champion. Of course you know them as the home of our current vice president Mike Pence. They are the home of Notre Dame University and one of the highest concentrations of Catholic churches in the country. Which means lots of potential for some crazy abuse scandals. Indiana is also a hotbed of anti-abortion idiocy where you can be arrested for just thinking about it! Well, not really. But we’re getting there!
Smoking Gun: There’s a plan pushed by Indiana pro-life conservatives to push through anti-abortion bills that have already failed in the state senate. Fool me once, shame on you! fool me twice, you know.
Odds: 10:1 – A true underdog in the tournament for sure, but with the right strength, Indiana could pull off a major upset in the tournament!

[font size="6"]The Schedule:[/font]

[font size="6"]The Bracket:[/font]

[font size="6"]Next Week:[/font]

There is no next week. But when we come back on March 18th, it’s show time! Round 1 Week 1 will be live in Denver, Colorado at the home of the Denver Nuggets, Pepsi Center, for all the first round action action action! Featuring the number one team in the nation Virginia, battling neighbors Kentucky in a Battle For The Batshit! Meanwhile, over in Family Values country, the reigning champion Alabama takes on hot division winner Oklahoma! Stay tuned for all the excitement!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]311[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of our favorites here at the Top 10. And they are here promoting their epic 311 Day concert at the Park Theater in Las Vegas March 11 – 13. Playing their song “Good Feeling” from their album Voyager, give it up for 311!

Thank you Wichita! We are off next week, I am taking a much needed break. We will be back on 3/18 in Norman, Oklahoma at the University Of Oklahoma, for the kickoff of Stupidest State 2020! See you in two weeks!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Wichita State, Wichita, KS
Special Thanks To: Wichita State University
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: The Rock Church Band, Wichita, KS
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
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Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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About Top 10 Idiots

This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. The Top 10 is posted once a week on Thursdays at 2:00 PM. There is a full archive of all past, present and future Top 10 editions that can be found here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100218599098\ Announcements for our current season schedule are posted in our Best Of editions that appear at the end of each season. Updates are posted regularly on the official Top 10 Mastodon account and the official Holy Shit Mastodon account. The Mastodon accounts are used to announce what's going to be in next week's edition, new content, advertising our segments, and so on. This account will post official Top 10 editions, and any related content including our spinoff series: Holy Shit The Sunday Sermons. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Mastodon: Top10ConIdiots@mstdn.party Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 on Mastodon: ChurchOfTop10@mstdn.party **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508