Top 10 Idiots

Top 10 Idiots's Journal

April 29, 2021

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-12: Teenage Mutant Cyber Ninja Turtles Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-12: Teenage Mutant Cyber Ninja Turtles Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! How’s everybody doing? Yeah it’s getting tough to hang in there, I know. Everyone is getting restless and tired. So how do you like our new set? We’re finally out of the blank void in the back room of a Burbank comedy club because comedy clubs are finally opening up! So while we search for a new permanent home, we’re shacking up at a currently closed music venue – the Observatory OC in Santa Ana, which we are using to promote the “Save Our Stages” campaign! And it’s our first in over a year with a live audience! Say hi everybody! So do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! So here’s a bizarre story out of Italy. I’m totally fascinated with this story and rightfully so. Say you are an employee and you skip work. Now rinse and repeat for 15 years. That’s right – I said 15… years! And this is a seriously crazy story when you start looking at the details. The man’s name is Salvatore Scumace and he’s been under investigation for some very serious crimes including forgery and extortion. Even his superiors at the hospital are under indictment. But you know at this point some of the blame has to fall on the hospital because how do you keep fooling them for 15 years? Even the irony of this story is that he was only one year from retirement. And he would have got away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling police! OK I had to Scooby Doo that one. That’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he talks about how old Joe is really not so old and he’s accomplishing more in 100 days than Trump did in 4 years:

So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is Derek Chauvin (1). So he was found… GUILTY! On all 3 counts, and conservatives are naturally not happy about the verdict, nor are they not happy about Minneapolis erupting into riots. But grab some popcorn and enjoy some conservative tears because this is going to be fun! In the second slot this week is our favorite Q Anon Congress Critter Marjorie Taylor Green (2). So she’s attempting to look intelligent by actually reading the proposed Green New Deal and challenging Alexandria Ocasio Cortez to a debate on the subject and is not surprisingly – already failing out of the gate! Taking the #3 slot this week – we’ve got the latest news coming from the Capitol Riot (3) and as I said last week, this is the gift that keeps on giving because it’s weirder and stranger! In the #4 slot this week is Cyber Ninja (4). You might not have heard of them, but they’re the firm that Arizona republicans hired to conduct yet *ANOTHER* election audit to prove it was stolen, and they’re already getting their asses handed to them! In the #5 slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) – how did a Z-grade Hollywood “actor” manage to trick hundreds of actors into a ponzi scheme that netted him hundreds of millions? It’s an insane story and we can’t wait for the movie! In the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week we’re examining the new “Center For American Values” promoted by supporters of Former Guy and starring his crazy spiritual advisor Paula White, but what is it, exactly? Taking the #7 slot this week we have a new Beating A Dead Horse – so Disneyland and Disney World in Orlando are becoming “Woke” and that is angering some people, so has it ruined the experience? No, you’re just threatened by change. In the number 8 slot this week is our brand new sports segment – The Wide World Of Sports (8) and this week we’re taking a look at the failed FISA Super League in Europe and it is a clusterfuck of mismanagement that went very south very quickly! In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State 2021 (10)! This week it’s Round 2 Week 2 which means that it’s the Family Values Conference championships! #1 Indiana is set to take on #4 Arkansas! Which state has the stronger holy water to advance to the Final Four? There’s only one way to find out! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Derek Chauvin
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The murder of George Floyd last year at the hands of police officer Derek Chauvin was one of those life-changing events. Everyone will remember where they were and it will cement itself in history. You may notice that we here at the Top 10 have largely been avoiding covering the trial of Officer Chauvin because it’s one of those situations that you just can’t make fun of. But now that the verdict has been reached – Chauvin is guilty as hell, the whole world is rejoicing because justice has finally been served and a message has been sent to crooked and out of control cops everywhere. And when I say the whole world is rejoicing – that is *EXCEPT* for conservatives. Everyone on the right side of things was as you can imagine, not happy about this one. Take Lindsay Graham for instance. Cue up the world’s tiniest violin playing just for murderous police.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) said Sunday that the U.S. was not a racist country but faced racism in the form of "bad actors" following the guilty verdict in the trial of Derek Chauvin, the former Minneapolis police officer convicted of murdering George Floyd.

During an interview with Chris Wallace on "Fox News Sunday," Graham explained that in his view, the U.S. was not a racist country and did not have racist "systems," but did face continuing challenges from some Americans who hold racist beliefs.

"No, in my opinion...our systems are not racist," America is not a racist country," Graham told Wallace.

"This attack on police and policing...reform the police yes, call them all racists no," he continued.

The South Carolina senator said a bipartisan compromise on the issue of policing reform could be reached in Congress if Democrats could agree to modify their call to end qualified immunity, which protects police officers and departments from most lawsuits in cases of police violence. Graham said he would support suing a department instead of individuals.
https://thehill.com/homenews/sunday-talk-shows/550150-graham-after-chauvin-verdict-america-is-not-a-racist-country

So for this instead of showing you all the news about Chauvin being guilty – because you probably knew that – we’re instead showing you the conservatives’ reaction to the verdict and how their idea of militaristic policing has come to a crashing halt. If you thought that Lindsay Graham was unapologetic, just wait until you see Tucker Carlson’s reaction to this. No… no… turn off the Tucker reaction camera, we don’t need that for this piece!

On a near-nightly basis, Fox News primetime host Tucker Carlson conducts master classes in white supremacy and hate for his millions of viewers, nearly all of them white conservatives. His latest lesson involves the paranoid fiction that nonwhite people are coming to America to "replace" the majority white population, and that by implication the existence of the "white race" is imperiled both in the United States and around the world.

In his white supremacy tutelage, Carlson also routinely rages at the enemies of the MAGAverse and "real America," especially Black and brown people (and their white allies) in the pro-human rights and democracy movement known as Black Lives Matter. Their crime, for Carlson and his viewers? Demanding that the human and civil rights of Black people, and others marginalized in American society, be respected and protected.

Carlson is highly effective: White supremacists have repeatedly praised him for helping to mainstream their vile ideology among the millions of people who watch Fox News. In fact, the "Daily Show" has created a video montage of Tucker Carlson channeling the same language and ideas as white supremacist mass shooters.

Carlson also condones if not outright encourages fascism and other attacks on America's multiracial democracy. His staff of writers has included at least one overt white supremacist.

White supremacy and racial authoritarianism, like other forms of fascism and more generally, involve an emptiness of the heart and mind. As a high priest in America's church of white supremacy and racism, Carlson does his best to fill that emptiness for his viewers and followers. ...............(more)

https://www.salon.com/2021/04/27/tucker-carlson-the-chauvin-verdict-and-the-burden-of-white-civilization/

OK yeah… no, sorry, Tucker – the right people won and justice prevailed. You don’t get to whitewash your way out of this one. Though this is the most alarming statistic about this whole thing – it’s split the GOP right down the middle. That’s right – 46% think the Chauvin verdict was wrong. So let’s get this straight – they support the police one minute, then beat them to death with their own flag the next. This means that your conservative neighbor with a giant Blue Lives Matter flag flying from the back of his F-150 that’s the size of his house probably is one of the 46%! Think about it!

The jury’s assessment—which found Chauvin guilty of second degree murder, third degree murder and second degree manslaughter—was broadly rated as the “right verdict” by the over 2,500 Americans surveyed for the poll.

Three-quarters of respondents said they agreed with the outcome, with just 25% diverging—a group composed of more men than women and that is disproportionately white and mostly conservative.

Political affiliation emerged as the most divisive dictator of opinions on the trial’s outcome, with 90% of Democrats saying jurors reached the right verdict, while a slim majority (54%) of Republicans said the same.

Nearly half (46%) of the Republicans surveyed felt the jury had come to the wrong decision in convicting Chauvin of murder versus just 10% of Democrats and 25% of Independents who thought the verdict was wrong.

Though less overtly than their Democratic counterparts, many Republican lawmakers praised the trial’s outcome after it was announced last Wednesday. “There is no doubt in my mind that jury reached the right verdict,” Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) said in a statement, while Ohio Sen. Rob Portman tweeted he was “grateful” that “justice appears to be served.” Some GOP lawmakers and pundits have suggested the trial was corrupted by intense public pressure, with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) implying during an appearance on Fox News that jurors found Chauvin guilty because they were “scared of what a mob may do.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/jemimamcevoy/2021/04/25/nearly-half-of-republicans-think-derek-chauvin-verdict-was-wrong-poll-shows/?sh=4f8b4e2266e8

And by the way, Fox News wanted this. Riots were actually part of their plan. They saw how the shit really hit the fan last year and it was great for their ratings. They were actually anticipating more of this when the verdict was read. Honestly it could have gone either way. Cities were embracing for this. But when the actual verdict was finally read, we got the exact opposite of that! Thank god we can finally put this ugly chapter of American history behind us! At least for now!

As cities prepare for possible protests following a verdict in the murder trial of Derek Chauvin, police departments say they are implementing new tactics after being criticized by agency watchdogs for their handling of last summer’s demonstrations.

New York City police officials said they are in the process of implementing less aggressive crowd control tactics, while Los Angeles has started new training and the Chicago Police Department has ordered its officers to be respectful of protesters. Some cities like Philadelphia banned or limited the use of tear gas, rubber bullets and pepper spray on demonstrators after facing criticism from local elected leaders and civil-rights groups for deploying them on crowds over the summer.

Municipal oversight agencies and outside consultants hired by cities have found departments were unprepared, disorganized and used excessive force during the protests that swept the country following the death of George Floyd in police custody.

With a Minneapolis jury now deliberating whether to convict Mr. Chauvin for killing Mr. Floyd, some departments also said they have reached out to organizers and community leaders in advance of expected protests, in the hopes of creating less tense confrontations with demonstrators.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/awaiting-derek-chauvin-verdict-police-prepare-new-approach-to-protests-11618930271

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[font size="8"]Marjorie Taylor Greene
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Just like the Capitol Riot, Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q – Batshit) is also the gift that keeps on giving. The latest thing concerns Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s controversial Green New Deal. And the only reason why the Green New Deal is controversial is because republicans haven’t read and/or analyzed it and are floating wild conspiracy theories about. Which is par for the course with these kooks. So gym owner Marjorie is attempting to look intelligent by actually announcing that she’s going to read the Green New Deal and challenge AOC to a debate on it. And she made a big splash on Twitter announcing that… she’s going to read something. And that is something that in the 5 years we’ve been doing this, something I never thought I would hear any conservative say! What? Conservatives let Fox News and AM radio do all their thinking for them!

Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene—the QAnon-loving bigot who ranks as possibly the furthest-right member of Congress—is a very slow reader, apparently.

Earlier this year, Greene was stripped of her committee assignments, which she characterized as actually fitting her very clever plan to spend most of her time in DC pulling publicity stunts and generally going around making a jackass of herself. Since then, Greene has busied herself with things like harassing another representative with a trans child, meeting with Donald Trump at his sad parallel court in Mar-a-Lago, trying (and failing) to found a white nationalist caucus, and throwing rallies where police are forced to provide extra security in case her supporters riot. She’s also repeatedly challenged New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez to a debate on the Green New Deal, AOC’s sweeping package of proposed environmental reforms—a debate that AOC has expressed no intention whatsoever to engage in.

Greene has continued to pretend such a debate is forthcoming, and per the Daily Dot, claimed AOC had agreed to one. The only problem, of course, is that while touting the supposed victory, Greene admitted she hadn’t bothered to read the resolution and referred to its 14-page length as a protracted slog it would take her some time to catch up on.
https://earther.gizmodo.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-brags-she-read-all-14-pages-of-t-1846752490

And if you like that, Marjorie, there's plenty of books available at your local library! Which as you know is one of those socialist programs that you rail against! Seriously when I saw this story last week I could not stop laughing. Yes, Marjorie – we’re laughing at you, not with you! Just in case you were wondering what kind of debate opponent Greene is, she’s the kind of opponent who talks trash at the weigh-in and then proceeds to throw a massive pre-party destroying the hotel room, and then spends no time actually preparing for the event itself!

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) remains very determined to debate Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.).

On Saturday, while speaking at the America First Rally at the Indian River County Fairgrounds in Florida, Greene recounted an apparent conversation the congresswomen had when Greene approached Ocasio-Cortez in the House chamber about going head-to-head on national television over the contents of the Green New Deal, which Greene believes will destroy the U.S. economy.

While telling her version of the story, Greene mockingly impersonated Ocasio-Cortez, who she claims has "no clue" what she's talking about because she hasn't owned a business. The crowd certainly seemed to enjoy the narrative, but Greene's critics did not, comparing it to something a middle schooler would tell, rather than a sitting congresswoman.

The Bulwark's Jim Swift thinks Greene has just had too much time on her hands of late. "When you don't have any committee assignments, this is how you spend your taxpayer funded time," he tweeted Saturday, referring to the fact that Greene was removed from her two assignments because of comments she made spreading violent and hateful conspiracy theories before she was elected.
https://news.yahoo.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-mockingly-impersonates-162600839.html

Society stripped her off committees for being a wife, Christian, business owner… now Marjorie Greene is out for… REVENGE!!!! By attempting to look intelligent. OK enough of that. But in case you’re wondering why we even need a Green New Deal in the first place, just look at what’s happening in my home state of California, where a drought is threatening to bring on a serious environmental disaster. And there’s no vaccine that can bring us out of this one! This is going to be a fun fire season. Not!

As yet another season of drought returns to California, the mood has grown increasingly grim across the vast and fertile San Joaquin Valley.

Renowned for its bounty of dairies, row crops, grapes, almonds, pistachios and fruit trees, this agricultural heartland is still reeling from the effects of the last punishing drought, which left the region geologically depressed and mentally traumatized.

Now, as the valley braces for another dry spell of undetermined duration, some are openly questioning the future of farming here, even as legislative representatives call on Gov. Gavin Newsom to declare a drought emergency. Many small, predominantly Latino communities also face the risk of having their wells run dry.

Drought is nothing new to California or the West, and generations of San Joaquin Valley farmers have endured many dry years over the last century. Often, they have done so by drilling more wells.
https://news.yahoo.com/wells-dry-crops-imperiled-workers-130039116.html

That’s a good question and I don’t want to be here to find out! But that said, we definitely need a new environmental program and we need one now. Did I say we need a new environmental program? We need *AN* environmental program. Because they previous guy had a freaking revolving door in the Agricultural and EPA departments that left us with no plan! So it’s going to take a lot to actually have any sort of defense against the things Mother Nature is going to be throwing at us for ignoring climate change all these years. The pandemic was just the beginning!

To everyone’s surprise (it wasn’t on the advance list of topics), Chris Wallace asked a question about climate change. As is to be expected from a conservative, he framed it as a trade-off between the environment and the economy.

In the ensuing shouting, Trump accused Biden of supporting “the radical Green New Deal,” which he alleged would cost “$100 trillion.” (For those who are wondering, that number is from a ludicrous “study” of the GND by the right-wing American Action Forum.)

Biden responded, “The Green New Deal is not my plan.”

Then, just a few minutes later, he said, “The Green New Deal will pay for itself as we move forward.”

Then, minutes later, “No, I don’t support the Green New Deal.” He supports “the Biden plan, which is different than what [Trump] calls the radical Green New Deal.”

Minutes later, sleuths on the right turned up language on Biden’s website calling the Green New Deal a “crucial framework for meeting the climate challenges we face.”
https://www.vox.com/energy-and-environment/21498236/joe-biden-green-new-deal-debate

[font size="8"]Capitol Riots
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I’ve been saying the last few editions that while the events of January 6th were utterly horrifying beyond words, for us, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. In fact there’s so much batshit crazy that it’s almost impossible to keep up with. But this might be one of my favorite stories that I’ve seen lately – it appears that white nationalist Nicholas Fuentes is on the No Fly List! I am loving this one so much. The guy is such a risk that he’s been banned from just about every major social media platform and now he’s been banned from airplanes! Here’s the thing, Nick – if you want to play stupid games like enter the Capitol for an insurrection to protect a failed president who lost legally to a guy much better than he ever will be – you can expect to win stupid prizes! So yeah… cue up the world’s tiniest violin!

White nationalist Nick Fuentes says he can’t attend a South Florida press conference opposing big tech because he’s on a “no-fly” list.

This morning, the self-described “groyper” tweeted that he isn’t allowed to fly, which he called “overt political persecution.”

“America is not a free country,” he added.

From his verified Twitter account, he also complained that he has “been banned from nearly all social media and tech services,” which he had planned to discuss at the press conference alongside Laura Loomer and other far-right figures.

His extremist compatriots hastened to express outrage over Fuentes’ allegations. InfoWars contributor Paul Joseph Watson called it a “draconian thought crime system” even more severe than China’s social credit score.
https://www.dailydot.com/debug/nick-fuentes-no-fly-list/

Excuse me a minute… And then I love this story. OK look if you’re going to complain about the COVID vaccine containing a tracking device, how about this – don’t post on social media! Because if you do then the government can track your every move. Spoiler alert! But in this story – a couple went to the Capitol, bragged about it, then deleted their posts from Facebook after getting caught. Do I really need to explain? You trusted the last guy, you deserve what happens to you! Oh and did I mention that Florida Man was involved in this too? Shocker!

A family member turned in an Ocala man who went to Washington D.C. “knowing full well they were going to break in” to the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Kenneth Kelly, 58, also sent text messages saying he entered the Capitol by breaking windows, an affidavit said. He turned himself in Friday at the Middle District of Florida U.S. Attorney’s Office in Ocala. He’s facing charges including disorderly and disruptive conduct in a restricted building or grounds and disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds.

Pictures from surveillance video and text messages provided to the FBI show Kelly inside the Capitol, which he kept referring to as the White House, the affidavit said.

“Inside the White house via breaking in windows,” a text message said. “Tree of liberty was watered today.”

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne--20210424-7mmtlfn5rrcqjioccfrqyvbnra-story.html

Dude… did he use the Tree Of Liberty as a toilet? Oh dear god… what is wrong with these people? I mean seriously! They can do all they want to us, at least we’re housebroken! And you know here’s another thing – why are there so many hardcore right wingers involved in Crossfit? Is Crossfit an exercise program or is it a GOP mind control outlet? But we may save that for another edition, but the more you dig into this thing the weirder, creepier, and stupider it gets!

A federal judge said he was "inclined" to order that a Jan. 6 Capitol riot suspect remain in detention on Monday after prosecutors presented video footage of the man dragging a police officer down the steps of the Capitol and into a mob and physically assaulting officers.

Jack Wade Whitton, a 30-year-old CrossFit instructor from Georgia, was identified by the government as the man in new officer-worn body camera footage also kicking officers and saying, "You're going to die tonight."

Assistant U.S. Attorney Colleen Kukowski argued on behalf of the government that Whitton, who remains in custody in Georgia, should not be released pending trial because he remains a threat to the public.

Prosecutors previously disclosed text messages Whitton allegedly sent to a confidential informant in which he boasted about the assault afterward.

Read more: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/youre-going-to-die-tonight-body-cam-video-shows-capitol-riot-suspect-accused-of-dragging-officer/ar-BB1fA6Bg?li=BBnb7Kz

Now here’s the thing – you might be asking how did this become such a clusterfuck? Well there’s many theories. Yeah you could say that the Capitol Rioters had help from someone inside Congress – which they very well could have. Or it could be the Capitol Police were in on it, another likely scenario. But what we’re finding is that this is the 9/11 scenario all over again. Hey people if there’s intelligence warnings that something big is coming on the horizon, maybe I don’t know, don’t ignore them the next time? It’s a tale as old as time!

A new report by the Capitol Police’s internal watchdog found that department leaders overlooked key intelligence in the run-up to the riot on Jan. 6, including a warning that “Congress itself is the target,” and barred the force’s riot response unit from using its most powerful crowd-control measures.

The 104-page document, entitled “Review of the Events Surrounding the Jan. 6, 2021, Takeover of the U.S. Capitol,” is the most searing portrait yet of the lapses and miscalculations around the most violent attack on the Capitol in two centuries. It adds significant new detail not unearthed in congressional hearings and is likely to inform a coming overhaul of the agency promised by lawmakers.

Michael A. Bolton, the Capitol Police’s inspector general, classified the report as “law enforcement sensitive” and has not released it to the public. But The New York Times reviewed a copy before his testimony to the House Administration Committee, scheduled for Thursday.

Here are the highlights.

Capitol Police leaders ignored or overlooked intelligence reports warning of attacks on lawmakers.

The department’s own intelligence unit, which monitors potential threats, warned three days before the riot that supporters of President Donald J. Trump, motivated by his false election fraud claims, were targeting Congress and could become violent.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/13/us/politics/capitol-riot-police-report.html

[font size="8"]Cyber Ninja

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OK look…. Look… it’s been 3 months since Joseph R. Biden was inaugurated as the 46th president of the United States. Donald Trump is history. Let it go. But there’s some people who just won’t let it go no matter how much they hold their ears and go “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!”. But what’s happening in Arizona right now is what one might call a “clusterfuck”. So how did a firm that nobody ever hear of manage to slime its’ way into yet another 2020 election recount? Well for one thing look at where it’s taking place – Maricopa County, which was once ruled by Sheriff Joe Arpaio, a guy who’s name is synonymous with crooked and corrupt cops everywhere. But what would you expect when your firm is called “Cyber Ninjas”? I mean come on, I would expect that as the name of a villainous corporation in a 10 year old’s poorly drawn comic, not in a corporation that’s trying to overthrow democracy!

A successful ninja is unseen, unheard, stealthy.

By that standard, the firm Cyber Ninjas — which Arizona Republicans chose to audit the ballots cast in 2020 in the Phoenix area — fits the bill: Almost no one involved in election or politics in Florida, the state where the company is headquartered, seems to have heard of it or knows anything about it.

Nor do they know anything about Cyber Ninjas’ founder, Doug Logan, who registered his firm in the southwest Florida city of Sarasota in 2014, state records show.

“Doug Logan? Cyber Ninjas? No. I don’t know these guys. Never heard of them,” said Christian Ziegler, vice chair of the Republican Party of Florida and a resident of Sarasota, echoing a dozen top Florida Republicans and elections professionals interviewed by POLITICO.

The firm’s relative anonymity is a curious anomaly in Florida, one of the nation’s biggest battlegrounds, where top political players are typically familiar with companies that provide election services and technology.
https://www.politico.com/news/2021/04/26/republicans-arizona-vote-audit-florida-484737

Except when they try to overthrow the democratically elected 46th president of the United States, who’s already been certified and inaugurated! But really you got to do something about that name. Cyber Ninjas? Are we 10 years old? Is this Teenage Mutant Cyber Ninja Turtles? Heroes on the half shell… turtle power!! And yes the firm does have deep roots in the Q Anon movement as well as the Stop The Steal movement – both of which are run by crackpots.

The Great Arizona Search for Election Fraud kicks off today as the Arizona Senate announced it has hired four – count ‘em four – firms to audit Maricopa County’s election.

The $150,000 audit will be led by Cyber Ninjas, a small Florida cyber security company founded by a Trump supporter who promoted conspiracy theories as part of the Stop the Steal movement.

"I’m tired of hearing people say there was no fraud. It happened, it’s real, and people better get wise fast," said one post he retweeted in late December.

No, seriously. This is who Senate President Karen Fann has hired to lead its "independent" audit of the election. But hey, the company has an awesome motto:

“Do you have a ninja on your side?”

Well, now the Senate does, though alas, this particular Trump ninja appears to have no actual experience auditing elections, a point that matters not a whit to senators in search of the “truth.”
https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/laurieroberts/2021/03/31/arizona-senate-hired-cyber-ninjas-conduct-its-election-audit/4828177001/

And Florida isn’t the only state these kooks are targeting. There’s also Michigan. But my big question is why does the media refer to these guys as “experts”? I can’t imagine there’s any actual certified professional auditors involved in this transaction. One thing we do expect is that this will get very messy despite that there’s absolutely no basis in reality. But here’s the thing – if you trust a ninja, expect that they will operate in the shadows. Much like Bane.

A Michigan judge on Monday said he’ll allow a dozen tech and election experts, including the Florida firm Cyber Ninjas and others who alleged election fraud following the November presidential election, to refute a secretary of state election report that determined mistakes in Michigan voting results were caused by human error and didn’t signal vulnerability or tampering with election machines.

Cyber Ninjas is the name of a Florida-based consulting firm owned by Doug Logan, who’s expressed support for election fraud “Stop the Steal” conspiracy theories on social media. The company was recently hired by the Republican-majority Arizona Legislature to conduct an audit of election results in Maricopa County. That audit began last week.

Now the Cyber Ninjas, as well as other experts put forth by the plaintiff in an ongoing election fraud lawsuit, are likely going to weigh in on challenges to results in Michigan’s Antrim County.

Many of the experts have been involved in other election challenges across the nation, sometimes espousing debunked data in support of their election fraud claims.
https://www.mlive.com/public-interest/2021/04/cyber-ninjas-to-refute-michigan-report-on-election-errors-in-lingering-lawsuit.html

Now here’s where it gets weird, and you knew that it was going to. This is marking a major shift in American politics. The far right has gone into the gutter and won’t be coming out anytime soon. And the reason is because Trump rules both the moderate and extreme sides of the party with his unquestionable loyalty. So he may be gone from the political scene for now. But the damage has been done – Trump was pretty much the proverbial bull in the china shop.

Even if the former president*’s coronary arteries finally turn to cement tomorrow, it will not matter. He will live on in the forces he unleashed. One of the more promising developments I’ve noticed in the elite political press is that it is increasingly referring to “Trumpism” rather than to the person after whom it is named. (If it were to take the next step, which is to change Trumpism to “Republicanism,” that would be an admirable concession to political reality, but I don’t expect miracles.)

Referring to “Trumpism” is, at least, an acknowledgement of the fact that the past four years have embedded a dangerous strain of permanent insanity in our politics, and that it may take decades to dig it out, even if its enablers are willing to try, which I don’t think they are. Right at the moment, we have some clear indications that Trumpism, and the lethal authoritarian delusions made flesh that are its clearest manifestations, are waiting for another politician to give them meaning and focus. Call it the Deep Crazy.

For example, there is this absurd exercise in Arizona, where the state senate has contracted with a pro-Trump firm called “Cyber Ninjas” to “audit” the vote count in Maricopa County, Arizona. Most recently, a local court expressed some curiosity about how the Cyber Ninjas are doing their business. The Cyber Ninjas ducked behind their lawyers. From the Arizona Republic:
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a36231426/republican-party-deep-crazy/

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Hollywood has been duped by a lot of scammers and schemers lately and it’s getting harder and harder to keep them all together. And nobody wants to be on the receiving end of a ponzi scheme, especially if you’re starting out in the world of acting. Seeing as how actors typically have no money when they start out in this profession. But there’s one scheme who managed to dupe hundreds to the tune of $690 million dollars. That’s right - $690 million. And like all ponzi schemes, he got caught. That’s the thing with get rich quick schemes – somebody is going to get hurt, and somebody is going to get caught. They may seem like a good idea at the time, but in the end, everybody gets screwed. Here’s how this whole thing went down.

American actor Zach Avery was arrested by FBI agents in Los Angeles on Tuesday for allegedly masterminding a Ponzi scheme that defrauded investors of hundreds of millions of dollars, US authorities said.

Avery, whose real name is Zachary Horwitz, told investors his company 1inMM Capital would buy film distribution rights and license them to Netflix and HBO but in fact had "no business relationship with either company", according to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Instead, the 34-year-old operated the company as a Ponzi scheme, using money from new investors to pay older ones, the US Attorney's Office for the Central District of California said in a statement.

The SEC said his scheme had raised more than $690 million. The Department of Justice said it began in 2015 and that $227 million put in by victims was yet to be repaid.
https://www.ndtv.com/entertainment/actor-zach-avery-arrested-in-multi-million-dollar-ponzi-scheme-2408188

Yeah so he raised a whopping $690 million with $227 of it unaccounted for. Which is why you have to be careful out there. So how did this guy dupe so many and pocket so much money? Well he faked a capitol investment firm that bankrolled Hollywood productions and was enticing actors to donate to his “movie projects” on the cusp that they would be given parts in these movies. But in reality – the man had absolutely no licensing deals with any major properties. None.

In a sworn statement filed in Los Angeles federal court, FBI agent John Verrastro laid out a brazen scheme by Horwitz to persuade investors to pour huge sums of money into his film distribution company, 1inMM Capital LLC.

Horwitz sent investors bottles of Johnnie Walker Blue Label Scotch with the company's 2015 annual report that highlighted a "library" of 52 films his company was supposedly distributing in Africa, Australia, New Zealand and South America, according to Verrastro. The roster of films included the 2012 horror movie "The Lords of Salem" and the 1989 action film "Kickboxer" with martial arts action star Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Horwitz told investors falsely that he had "strategic partnerships" with HBO, Netflix and other platforms to license the foreign distribution rights. The investors were promised returns as high as 40% within a year.

In reality, the FBI said, Horwitz had no licensing deals and diverted much of the money for personal benefit. He used some of the money for the 2018 purchase of his Beverlywood home, now listed for sale for $6.5 million. The six-bedroom home features a pool, wine cellar and gym.
https://news.yahoo.com/hollywood-actor-arrested-alleged-227-230903207.html

Now you might be wondering how did a D-list Hollywood actor turn into an A-list movie agent like an Ari Gold for instance? Well he got caught attempting to impersonate some of the biggest names in the business including HBO and Netflix. And when you impersonate some major players in the game, the game will soon play you. What’s even scarier? The scheme went on for 6 years before he was finally caught.

The SEC said his scheme had raised more than US$690mil (RM2.9bil). The Department of Justice said it began in 2015 and that US$227mil (RM939mil) put in by victims was yet to be repaid.

Horwitz, described by the Los Angeles Times as "a small-time actor", failed to find success as an actor. He starred in the critically panned 2020 film Last Moment Of Clarity.

He allegedly used money from the scheme to fund a lavish lifestyle, which authorities said included trips to Las Vegas, buying a house worth US$6mil (RM25mil), and paying a celebrity interior designer.

Authorities said the scheme had started in 2015, and that Horwitz and 1inMM promised victims returns of more than 35%.

To establish his legitimacy,"Horwitz provided investors with fake license agreements, as well as fake distribution agreements with Netflix and HBO, all of which contained forged or fictional signatures," the US Attorney's Office said.
https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/entertainment/2021/04/13/hollywood-d-list-actor-arrested-for-alleged-ponzi-scheme

Except that they do, and Blockbuster only has one location left in the entire world. So how did 1inMM Capitol manage to dupe so many people? Well Horwitz had help – and even went as far as to dupe his college buddies into investing in his scheme. But every ponzi scheme has backers, and they also have enablers. But in doing so he may have made some very powerful enemies who could be used against him in the forthcoming trial.

Back in Hollywood, Horwitz had founded 1inMM and had a proposal that was a sure thing. He told his Indiana University buddies he would purchase regional distribution rights to films and license them for more than he paid to online platforms like HBO and Netflix for distribution outside the U.S. DeAlteris invested in one of these deals as early as 2014 and made money.

In the summer of 2015, Horwitz sent Wunderlin, deAlteris and Schweinzger an annual report touting 1inMM had acquired and distributed 49 films “without incurring a single loss in the process.” He said HBO and Netflix were hungry for content. For a personal touch, Horwitz also sent his college buddies a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label scotch with the annual report.

Wunderlin, deAltris and Schwinzger founded JJMT Capital in an 1,100 square-foot Chicago apartment and started raising money for the deals. They were joined by Tyler Crookston, who had graduated from Indiana University in 2007. JJMT stood for the first initials of the founders, Jake, Joe, Matthew and Tyler. Wunderlin and deAltris quit their days jobs, but the other two did not and Crookston left the group within two years.

The JJMT crew went out and found dozens of investors for Horwitz’s promissory notes. They sold the notes to their family, friends and professional contacts. The notes carried maturities of between 6 and 12 months and each was tied to a specific movie like “Blood Quantum” and “La Melodie.” In total, JJMT alone raised about $216 million, securities filings show, and entered into 500 promissory notes. They would take a cut of the 30% to 40% interest rates that Horwitz promised to pay.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/nathanvardi/2021/04/08/how-indiana-university-bros-fueled-a-hollywood-actors-690-million-ponzi-scheme/?sh=487b2b605789

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the VENMO collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! It’s so nice to be able to see you in person again! But while last week we ventured into ridiculous territory talking about the insanity that goes on in the Jim Bakker Show, this week we need to venture into more serious territory. Because it’s not all fun and games here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10! We do need to broach serious subjects. And this week I do have to unfortunately bring up Former Guy. Yes, he is a man so disgusting, foul, and depraved that his name dare not be spoken in my church, or I will cast thee out! Now this week supporters of his are coming up with new strategies to get back in the game. And what better way to go than going full on racist with an extremely batshit crazy leader at that? Yes the religious right is going full America First, and you never, ever, under any circumstances go full America First!

American voters rejected former President Donald Trump at the ballot box in 2020, but he and his team are not going away quietly—or at all. As Axios reported Tuesday, a group of Trump administration officials and advisers is launching the America First Policy Institute, which its president Brooke Rollins says in a launch video is “working to save the soul of this country” and “continue the transformative changes that happened over the last four years.”

The Center for American Values is being led by Trump spiritual adviser and former White House aide Paula White, whose One Voice Prayer Movement served as a platform for Christian nationalism and an unofficial public relations and campaign arm of the Trump campaign. White regularly denounced Trump’s political opponents as demonic. At the Jan. 6 rally from which Trump sent his followers to the U.S. Capitol, White prayed from the stage that God would give rallygoers a “holy boldness” and that “every adversary” would “be overturned right now in the name of Jesus.” She said of Trump, “I secure his purpose. I secure his destiny.”

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are reportedly advising the AFPI, which hopes to double its initial $20 million budget by 2022. The Hill reported that the group plans to move its headquarters from the Virginia suburbs to Capitol Hill, where AFPI would be neighbors with other right-wing groups, including the massive Heritage Foundation, which helped vet Trump’s judicial nominees and supported his administration’s policies.

Separately notorious Trump adviser Stephen Miller has created his own group with the “America First” branding: America First Legal, which hopes to tie up Biden administration initiatives in the courts—something that will be easier to do thanks to the ideologues that Trump and Republican senators filled federal courts with over the past four years.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/team-trump-launches-america-first-policy-institute-with-paula-white-leading-center-for-american-values/

Yes they’re going full racist and that’s never a good thing! Because I know for a fact that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now is it? Well it most definitely isn’t! And now guess what? There’s nothing good that is going to come out of this and more innocent people will get duped out of their money when they least expect it! Of course when you give money to the unholy Dark One at this point, you should expect that they’re going to pocket most of it!

Malcolm X, Mark Twain, Malcolm Gladwell. Lewis Carroll, Steve Jobs. Douglas Adams, Mohandas Gandhi, Rocky Balboa – all seem unlikely sources of inspiration for a definition of Trumpism.

Yet these are among the prominent figures quoted by members of a new thinktank dedicated to resurrecting former US president Donald Trump’s populist-nationalist agenda.

The America First Policy Institute (AFPI) describes itself as both “non-profit” and “non-partisan”. Critics, however, regard it as a cash cow for alumni of the Trump administration whose stained reputations make it hard to find gainful employment.

Despite Trump’s campaign promise to “drain the swamp”, the AFPI reportedly has a first-year budget of $20m, which it hopes to double to $40m next year, and plans to expand beyond its current headquarters in Arlington, Virginia, to locations that include a spacious office on Washington’s Capitol Hill.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/apr/17/trump-thinktank-america-first-policy-institute

But I mean come on, do we really need more of this? Because the unholy Dark One’s policies have worked out so well haven’t they? I mean even Lynchburg, Tennessee – the holier than thou center of the Dark One and his “isms” have been trying to distance themselves from the toxic culture that he has brought on this country! So this entire think tank that they’ve come up with is both bogus and ridiculous at the same time!

Liberty University’s Standing for Freedom Center—until recently known as the Falkirk Center—announced its new class of fellows Thursday, making it clear that the organization may have a new name but it has not abandoned its purpose of promoting the religious right’s “biblical worldview” in culture and public policy. The new fellows are former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, former Arkansas Governor and failed presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, anti-abortion rights activist Abby Johnson, and brother anti-LGBTQ culture warrior duo David and Jason Benham.

Earlier this year, the university ditched the Falkirk name, presumably to distance the center from its disgraced co-founder and former president, Jerry Falwell, Jr. It has also said goodbye to its earlier crop of fellows, which included Falkirk Center co-founder Charlie Kirk, president of right-wing youth organization Turning Point USA; Jenna Ellis, a Trump attorney who now hosts her own TV show, unironically called “Just the Truth”; pundit, conspiracy theorist, and so-called Stop the Steal activist Eric Metaxas; and Steve Bannon acolyte and former White House aide Sebastian Gorka.

Executive Director Ryan Helfenbein remains in place. As Right Wing Watch noted in December, when the center celebrated its first anniversary, Helfenbein touted the organization’s aggressive posture, saying, “We don’t just want to be an organization that barks; we want to be an organization that bites.” The center bragged that it had “consistently encouraged churches and pastors to defy” pandemic-related “lockdown orders.” Among the center’s first-year accomplishments was “Get Louder,” a “faith summit” held last September, which included Christian Reconstructionist Gary DeMar on a panel moderated by Metaxas.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/liberty-university-ditches-falkirk-center-name-announces-new-class-of-culture-war-fellows/

Ah but see? We are! So even the holier-than-thou Liberty University is attempting to distance themselves from the unholy Dark One, though their resistance is futile! Yes they will fall back in line with the GOP just as soon as their masters tell them to! And by the way, if you want to know where this is going, all you have to do is look deep within their SOULS to find that their hearts are black with EVIL because they support someone so foul and horrible!

QAnon conspiracy theorist and supposed “prophet” Johnny Enlow appeared on the Elijah Streams YouTube channel Monday where he claimed that former President Donald Trump is working with angels, specifically the archangels Gabriel and Michael, to take down Bill Gates, George Soros, and other powerful figures who supposedly control the world.

Enlow, who is among the various self-proclaimed “prophets” who guaranteed that Trump would win the 2020 election and now refuse to accept that their prophecies were wrong even though President Joe Biden has been in the White House for three months, insisted that Trump is still the legitimate president but was removed from office by God so that he could work behind the scenes to take down members of the evil cabal that secretly controls world events, such as the Rothchild and the Rockefeller familes.

“While people are looking at who’s in Biden’s seat, the traditional presidential seat, [People say], ‘Well, how can you say Trump’s doing something when he’s not there?'” Enlow said. “Believe me, that is not the power position, particularly the way it is right now in the nation.”

“President Trump is on assignment and he’s anointed by God and the archangels are working with him,” Enlow continued. “Michael is working with—it’s not that he’s serving Trump, it’s the other way around—and Zerachiel and Gabriel; but what they are going after and what is being contended for—and it’s just about done—is the seats that we’re talking about, like the Soros and the Gates and the Rothchilds, those seats that really control and effect world dynamics. Those things are being taken care of behind the scenes, and it would have been harder for President Trump to do so staying seated in the other seat.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/johnny-enlow-claims-trump-is-on-assignment-from-god-to-take-down-george-soros-bill-gates-and-others/

So beware my fair congregation! This new think tank supporting him most foul is not going to be a good thing, it’s going to be a very bad thing because it will promote the craziest and worst of us! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Woke Disneyland
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I think this question needs to be asked. Is Disneyland getting more “Woke”, or are you getting more racist? Here’s the thing – we all know that Disneyland is becoming more socially relevant. Or as the kids and your creepy conservative uncle refer to it as “being woke”. But if you even broach the subject of Disneyland finally making light of past dealings as “being woke” then it’s not them, it’s you! And if you’re even going so far to complain that it’s ruining the experience, then guess what? You’re a racist! That’s what one Disney fan is claiming in Orlando. But the one thing is that this guy got what was coming to him. And all it really takes is a quick Google search to realize that people who are doing the complaining about Disneyland being “Woke” are part of the problem. But again if you have to ask, it’s not us, it’s you, and we’re laughing at you.

Jonathan VanBoskerck is not exactly a household name, but on Friday he very quickly, became the most famous Disney Adult in America after a bizarre opinion piece decrying “woke” culture was published in an Orlando newspaper.

The photo, with the man in a Hawaiian-adjacent Disney shirt with Disney trinkets in the background, was enough to grab the attention of plenty of people online. But the column was much more bizarre: the Las Vegas native described his family’s yearly trips to the Florida theme park were being ruined by a “woke scalpel” that was removing parts of his favorite rides and ruining the experience because of cancel culture.

It’s reminiscent of the man who recently went viral for getting arrested at Disney for not adhering to the park’s safety standards amid the still-ongoing coronavirus pandemic. But that reminder of the real world is not the issue for Van Boskerck, it’s that sometimes people who dress up as anthropomorphic dogs and Disney princesses have tattoos and haircuts that were not animated in the 1960s:

That may seem like a silly thing to get upset about, but it’s really the “woke scalpel” that Disney has taken to its rides and attractions in recent years that’s made him most upset. Essentially, VanBoskerck is really missing all the horny and racist stuff. He complains that Disney is updating its Jungle Cruise ride to take out harmful stereotypes of indigenous people, and lamented the missing scenes, like a guy being boiled alive, from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride they’ve removed over the years:
https://uproxx.com/viral/disney-adult-wokeness/

No shit! Pirates Of The Caribbean getting less rapey? The Log Jammin’ ride removing references to Song Of The South? Yeah those are good things! Let me point something out for you keyboard warriors who are complaining about “woke” culture: things are changing and you’re getting left out! If you don’t want to live in the real world where actions have consequences? Stay at home and watch Fox News in the dark, that’s your only option left!

Like many of the world’s theme parks, Disney World does not look like it did when it first launched; it’s been renovated and brought in new elements to older rides (such as the addition of Frozen to Epcot’s World Showcase). But some of the more recent additions and rule changes—which are at the center of a widely derided op-ed—are being ripped a new one online.

On Friday, the Orlando Sentinel published an op-ed titled “I Love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience.” It’s by Jonathan VanBoskerck, a man from North Las Vegas who describes himself as “a Christian and a conservative Republican.” He’s been a lifelong Disney fan—he takes his family to the park every year—but he’s now reconsidering making the pilgrimage because he feels that Disney is abandoning the immersive and magical experience that comes with a trip to Disney World.

“Disney World is going to lose us as customers if it continues down this path,” VanBoskerck wrote. “I do not want to have Disney World taken away from us because Disney cares more about politics than happy guests.”

VanBoskerck’s argument is flawed, includes racist language while arguing that a racist depiction in a ride is in fact not racist, and perhaps most noticeably, ignores the fact that wanting to pretend something isn’t political is, in fact, a political argument. It doesn’t relay what changes were made to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which includes both sensitivity changes (it no longer has pirates chasing after women) and more cultural ones (the ride now includes Pirates of the Caribbean’s Jack Sparrow).
https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/disney-world-wokeness-op-ed/

So less racist people going to Disneyland? That’s a good thing. Look, Disneyland is a 15 mile drive from my house but I will never understand the annual pass people. However, one thing I do understand is racists, at least I like to think I do! And less of them at Disneyland? That means that demand will decrease which means ticket prices will decrease! Yay, economics 101! And I love that Trump fans think that they have any sort of impact on the market. I will tell you as someone who has been monitoring boycotts the last 5 years: you don’t.

A “Christian and conservative Republican” Disney fan says changes to Splash Mountain, Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Caribbean rides make him feel “excluded”

A self-described “Christian and conservative Republican” Disney fan was roasted on social media for arguing in a Friday op-ed for the Orlando Sentinel that changes to Disney World’s Splash Mountain, Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Caribbean rides were ruining his experience at the theme park for the sake of “political correctness.”

In his piece, Jonathan VanBoskerck said Disney was taking the “woke scalpel” to Jungle Cruise by removing Trader Sam, an animatronic salesman who appears at the end of the ride to exchange human heads and plays into racist stereotypes of Indigenous peoples. But VanBoskerck said Trader Sam was a “funny and silly caricature” and “no more based in racism than every Disney caricature of an out-of-touch white American dad.”

“The next time I ride Jungle Cruise I will not be thinking about the gloriously entertaining puns of the skippers, I will be thinking about Disney’s political agenda,” VanBoskerck wrote. “That’s a mood killer.”
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/orlando-sentinel-op-ed-roasted-202512602.html

Yeah of course it’s a mood killer! Look dude, here’s the thing – and we cannot say this enough on this program – if you have to ask it’s probably racist. But what we also cannot stress enough – if someone is considered to be “woke” as you guys put it, that means that they are simply fighting back against the bullshit! It’s about time things start changing for the better, especially after how volatile the events of last year were! If you’re complaining that “wokeness” is “ruining your mood” then guess what? You’re part of the problem! But at least Walt Disney would have the right idea if he were alive today.

Walt Disney once said, “Progress is impossible without change,” and as the mastermind behind perhaps one of the most successful corporations in the world, The Walt Disney Co., Walt was onto something.

Relevance and value are almost always based in the relatability people have to the work and productivity of an entity. And if an entity is not changing with the times, it becomes a barrier to progress and change.

In a recent op-ed to the Orlando Sentinel (”I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience,” online April 23), Jonathan VanBoskerck, a self-proclaimed Disney World enthusiast and Christian conservative, asserted that recent changes in Disney policies ruined his experience.

VanBoskerck’s describes changes to employee dress code and certain rides throughout the theme park as wokeness that spoil the immersive and magical Disney experience and drifting from the original values of Walt Disney. I beg to differ.
https://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion/guest-commentary/os-op-walt-disney-progress-not-wokeness-20210425-zr6vvsacinehhghntpbl3a2xbe-story.html

[font size="8"]The Top 10 World Of Sports
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You know in all the time we’ve been doing the Top 10 we’ve never had a proper sports segment until now but there’s a first time for everything. Welcome to the Top 10 World Of Sports! This week we’re taking a look at what is being called an absolute disaster in the sports world and I am not talking about the 2020 Olympics, which is proving to be an actual disaster. But this concerns soccer, or football as it’s called in the rest of the world. The Federal International Soccer League (FISA) proposed a new super league consisting of 12 teams. 6 from the British Premier League, 3 teams from Span’s La Liga, and 3 teams from Italy’s Serie A. Now picture this. The league is an utter disaster from the start. Think of it this way. Getting selected for this league is like winning a Mitsubishi Mirage. You get the thrill of winning a new car, but then you quickly realize that you just won a Mitsubishi Mirage, one of the cheapest and most problematic cars ever made! You’ll spend more than the $13K MSRP in maintenance once everything is over. Yeah stay on target! Well here’s what is going on.

The backlash to the announcement on Sunday that 12 of soccer's biggest teams would be forming their own breakaway European Super League has been nothing short of seismic. Pundits, fans, former players and even governments have been near united in their opposition to a proposal that has the potential to revolutionize the world's most-played and watched sport.

The clubs involved in the new project -- three from Italy, three from Spain and six from England -- have been heavily criticized. Each of the teams involved are household names in the U.S. -- with Real Madrid, Barcelona and Manchester United leading the charge. The other clubs to have signed on to the competition are Arsenal, Tottenham, Liverpool, Manchester City, Chelsea, Atletico Madrid, Inter, Milan and Juventus.

Yet the proposal is already be in jeopardy fewer than three days after the new competition was announced, with all six English clubs to have signed up now signalling their intention to withdraw after a major backlash.

In major U.S. sports, franchises and legacy teams have a guaranteed place in elite competitions -- as in the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL and even the MLS. In soccer, participation at the very top of the sport has been dependent on results on the field.
https://abcnews.go.com/Sports/european-super-league-announcement-sends-shockwaves-global-soccer/story?id=77165916

Yeah so this was a pretty shitty situation to begin with. It seemed like a good idea at the time – put the best teams in all of the EU into one super league. From Serie A – you had Juventus, Inter Milan, and AC Milan. From La Liga, you had Barcelona, Real Madrid, and Atletico Madrid. And from the British Premier League you had Chelsea, Man City, Man United, Arsenal, Liverpool, and Tottenham Hotspur. So why was this league failed to begin with? Well here’s how this complete clusterfuck of an idea totally unraveled at the seams.

A momentary schism it may have been but European club football will not forget the so-called "Dirty Dozen" as quickly as their plan was discarded to the footballing dust heap. They played their hand and failed dismally.

The 12 clubs -- England's big six and trios from Spain and Italy -- catastrophically misread the room, believing that their fans were willing to turn their back on the game for a few bucks more. In doing so they may discover that all the leverage they had accrued in years of negotiations with UEFA over the future of the Champions League has been frittered away.

From the outset it was remarkable how little thought had been given to painting the picture of the Super League as a product that fans should gravitate towards. When news did eventually drop around midnight in Europe supporters of Arsenal, Manchester City and Liverpool were greeted with an announcement that carried no words from senior executives at their club. Instead Joel Glazer, owner of their great rival Manchester United, was laying out his vision. The same was true in Italy and Spain as Super League vice president Andrea Agnelli of Juventus and president Florentino Perez of Real Madrid put their names on boiler plate statements.

That was all they would tell fans. For some, the same was true of the players. It remains remarkable that Arsenal came and went as members of Europe's elite club without ever once having a conversation with Mikel Arteta's squad about what membership would entail.
https://www.cbssports.com/soccer/news/european-super-league-collapse-what-comes-next-for-soccer-after-failure-of-breakaway-clubs/

And the fans understandably were pissed. And again I compare this to the analogy of winning a Mitsubishi Mirage. It’s great that you won a new car but this thing is so dirt cheap, who’s going to pay for the maintenance? It’s you! Yes, the owners are the ones who are benefitting from the Super League, the fans get no say in it. It’s totally understandable. You’re paying for that new Mitsubishi Mirage and you get the feeling like you’re driving a golf cart.

Several hundred Arsenal fans protested outside Emirates Stadium before the team's English Premier League match against Everton on Friday to call for owner Stan Kroenke to sell the club, which even prompted Spotify co-founder and CEO Daniel Ek to express his interest in buying the London side.

They also hung banners over the edge of the concourse, including ones that read, "Arsenal till I die. Kroenke out," and "Our club our home. Sell up Stan."

Arsenal lost the match 1-0 to Everton with a potential penalty for Dani Ceballos overruled by VAR. The loss keeps Arsenal languishing in ninth place in the standings.

Fan anger has been brewing since Arsenal and five other Premier League clubs announced on Sunday that they would join a breakaway Super League. And it hasn't subsided even after Arsenal quit the 12-team project on Tuesday night in the face of a growing public backlash and apologised to fans.
https://www.espn.com/soccer/arsenal/story/4367399/arsenal-fans-protest-super-league-debacleblast-owner-stan-kroenke

Anyway yeah it looks like the entire thing is the same thing that happened to my favorite teams – great product, horrible sales department, and even worse management! But any teams who participated in the Super League – don’t think you will get to walk away from this cleanly! The UEFL is on to you and they are going to make sure you pay for this! Which will both please the fans and piss off the owners and it’s not going to be pretty! Pass the popcorn!

UEFA president Aleksander Ceferin has said all 12 teams will face consequences for initially joining the European Super League but that some teams will face lesser ones for quickly opting out.

The 12 sides -- six from England and three from both Spain and Italy -- announced on April 18 that they would be breaking away to form their own Super League, in a move that immediately attracted the ire of fans.

Following fan protests, all six English teams announced within 24 hours that they had revoked their decision to join the league and they were followed by Atletico Madrid and Inter Milan on April 20.

As things stand, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Juventus and AC Milan have not formally withdrawn from the competition.

"Everyone has to take consequences for what they did and we cannot pretend nothing happened. You cannot do something like that and just say: 'I've been punished because everybody hates me.' They don't have problems because of anyone else but themselves. It's not OK what they did and we will see in next few days what we have to do," Ceferin told the Daily Mail.
https://www.espn.com/soccer/uefa-champions-league/story/4369502/all-teams-will-face-consequences-for-joining-super-league-uefa-president

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. I want to start with this absolutely batshit crazy story out of Kingston, Massachusetts. Look people, enough with the fucking gender reveal parties already! We get that you had a kid and you're excited to share it with the world, but this absolutely has to be said! Gender reveal parties are getting dumber and crazier. Like it’s one thing to cut into a slice of cake to be pink or blue. It’s another thing to set half the state on fire or crash your plane or even kill yourself revealing your baby’s gender. The latest atrocity? This dad to be set off an explosive device that kills people to reveal your baby’s gender. Well he an explosive device – with an illegal element used in explosives – to reveal their baby’s gender in front of a group of guests, and well, as you might imagine this thing went very south very quickly. This is reaching whole new levels of stupid!

One New Hampshire family’s gender reveal party was such a blast that it rattled towns, set off reports of an earthquake, and could be heard from across the state line, police said.

Police in Kingston, a town not far from the Massachusetts border, received reports of a loud explosion Tuesday evening. They responded to Torromeo quarry where they found people who acknowledged holding a gender reveal party with explosives.

The source was Tannerite — 80 pounds (36 kilograms) of it, police said. The family thought the quarry would be the safest spot to blow up the explosive, which is typically sold over the counter as a target for firearms practice, police said.

Nearby residents said the blast rocked their homes. Some reported property damage, NBC 10 Boston reported.

“We heard this god-awful blast,” Sara Taglieri, who lives in a home that abuts the quarry, told the television station. “It knocked pictures off our walls ... I’m all up for silliness and what not, but that was extreme.”
https://apnews.com/article/nh-state-wire-eb279a8493dd54b8857e20434f9a0c9a

Yeah this kind of thing has got to stop, but we suspect people won’t be satisfied until they’ve destroyed their entire state. Next up – we go to the far away country of Poland. Which is more than jokes about them manufacturing screen doors on a submarine or ejector seats on a helicopter. But I love this story because it’s one of those things that is more than meets the eye. Yeah it’s not really a transformer. But it’s a breakfast sandwich or is it…. A MONSTER? AHHHHH!!!!

When animal welfare officers received a report of an unusual animal lurking in a tree in the Polish city of Krakow, they were not sure what to expect.

"People aren't opening their windows because they're afraid it will go into their house," the woman reportedly said.

But a visit to the area showed the creature in question was not a bird, or even a reptile - but a croissant.
...
Writing on Facebook, the organisation said its officers had asked the desperate caller whether the unidentified animal, which had been in the tree for two days, could be a bird of prey.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-56757956

Now that’s a monster! Next up – we have a rare People Are Dumb followup! Remember a few months ago when we reported on the Penis Man from Washington, DC that was spraying “Penis Man” on portable toilet stalls? Well he got caught! And now he’s facing a very long (!) punishment for his dirty, dirty crimes! And yes if someone spray paints “penis man” on a toilet stall, someone else has to clean it up!

"Penis Man" sprang up as an unlikely counterculture hero last year, after a mystery graffiti tagger began spray-painting those two iconic words on prominent local buildings, including Tempe's City Hall.

But now it's time for the Phoenix man behind the virile vandalism to pay the bill.

Dustin Shomer, a 39-year-old student of the Japanese language with some offbeat political ideas, was sentenced this week to three years of supervised probation and ordered to pay $8,000 in restitution for the damage. A deferred, four-month jail sentence will be erased from the sentence if he completes 500 hours of community service, according to the terms of a plea deal he signed in December.

But now it's time for the Phoenix man behind the virile vandalism to pay the bill.

Dustin Shomer, a 39-year-old student of the Japanese language with some offbeat political ideas, was sentenced this week to three years of supervised probation and ordered to pay $8,000 in restitution for the damage. A deferred, four-month jail sentence will be erased from the sentence if he completes 500 hours of community service, according to the terms of a plea deal he signed in December.

Read more: https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/penis-man-grafitti-tagger-sentenced-and-fined-in-tempe-11533751

Next up – we of course go to the state of Florida which never fails to disappoint! And one thing about living in America’s most penis-shaped state is that you have to drive over a lot of bridges. Well this guy in the city of Daytona channels his inner Blues Brothers or Dukes of Hazzard and literally jumps the bridge to the other side. Of course in Florida that sort of thing is actually a felony and this guy is now wanted by the police!

Living in coastal communities means having to frequently navigate travel delays as bridges open to allow large ships to pass through, but one Florida Man who didn’t want to wait took a wild trip that was captured by traffic cameras.

In the video, posted by WVSN-Miami, a silver SUV can be seen speeding across a Daytona Beach drawbridge as it was rising to open. The car crashed through the crossing arm, breaking it, and then “briefly caught a bit of air before landing on the other side and driving off.”

The incident happened on Monday morning, and Daytona Beach Police told WSVN that they believed they had identified the driver, who will “likely face charges.”

The still-unknown driver’s potential criminal troubles aside, the video does appear to show that he luckily made it safely across, and the death-defying stunt went viral on Twitter, garnering lots of amusement and admiration, with numerous comparisons to scenes from films like The Blues Brothers and television shows like The Dukes of Hazzard.
https://www.mediaite.com/weird/watch-florida-man-takes-wild-drive-jumping-drawbridge-as-it-was-opening-hes-now-wanted-by-police/

Finally this week – botox parties. I don’t know who’s the dumb one in this story so we will let you draw your own conclusions! I know these are a thing among women but really if you’re going to host one of these parties, at least know that the guy giving you the shot knows what he’s doing. There’s that new thing called Google out there that you could use for this sort of thing. Also, make sure he’s not showing up to the party drunk off his ass. Even worse – he’s not a real doctor! There’s multiple levels of stupid in this story!

A Florida man is charged with impersonating a doctor and allegedly injecting Botox while drinking last month, according to local authorities.

The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office said Nelson Turin, 47, hosted a "Botox and Bubbles" event at a local business. Investigators said he described himself as an oral surgeon on social media fliers.

According to FOX 30, Turin was allegedly drinking Four Lokos when he operated on his unsuspecting victims. The news station reported that he charged $350 to inject lips, chins and cheeks and that he allegedly tricked the staff at a local spa into thinking he was a licensed doctor.

The sheriff tweeted that Turin is charged with several crimes, including practicing medicine without a valid medical license and possessing of legend drugs without a prescription. Legend drugs are prescription drugs approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

According to local authorities, Turin was released on bond. A new court date has not been assigned.
https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-allegedly-impersonating-doctor-injecting-botox-while-drinking

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2021 Round 2 Week 2
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16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back to the Stupidest State tournament 2021! Last week Texas stunned a strong Idaho with a last minute 3 pointer to end the game and take the Gun Nut Conference! Now they are awaiting their opponent in the Family Values Conference! This week we have a perennial favorite – the #1 Indiana Hoosiers against the #4 Arkansas Razorbacks! Could a potential Cinderella story be in the works for Arkansas or will Indiana triumph and move on to the Final Four? Let’s go to the floor in Phoenix for more exciting action, action, action! We only have four more rounds until we decide who the 2021 Stupidest State is going to be and the winner will take home the coveted DeLay Trophy!

[font size="4"]Family Values Conference Championship: #1 Indiana Vs #4 Arkansas [/font]

[font size="2"]Indiana [/font]

There’s two types of family values. There’s the innocent way of banning books because they might contain racist imagery. Which is why the right wing is going absolutely batshit insane over the “canceling” of Dr. Seuss. And then there’s the kind of family values that we associate with here and have since the beginning of the Family Values. And that’s what we define as reckless disregard of human life in favor of some hardcore old timey fire and brimstone religious values for an era that never really existed in the first place. This is more about the latter form of “family values”. Which includes such evil legislation as this!

A bill that would require minors to clear an additional hurdle to get an abortion is on its way to Gov. Eric Holcomb's desk for consideration.

Under House Bill 1577, parents would have to get their signatures notarized after signing permission slips for their minor children to receive abortions. That means finding a notary public, opponents argue, to sign off on what's an intensely personal procedure.

The same legislation also would require abortion providers to share information on a so-called abortion "reversal" drug, something the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says is not based on science and does not meet clinical standards.

Abortion clinics would have to provide information in writing about Progesterone, a drug some anti-abortion groups say can reverse medically-induced abortions, as long as a mother has only taken one of the two required abortion pills.

It's a controversial measure that could land Indiana in court over abortion legislation once again.
https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2021/04/14/indiana-abortion-laws-clinics-minors-governor-holcomb-legislation/7209587002/

Now this could get really ugly especially if it goes to SCOTUS. Now you might be thinking “HEY! This could overturn Roe V Wade!!!!”. Now I’m going to tell you – that is what we in the “biz” are referring to as a “long shot”. Think of it like a #16 seed in the NCAA tournament making it to the Final Four – no way in hell is this happening! But then we got to talk about Indiana’s controversial “abortion reversal bill” that could really do some damage!

Indiana’s latest anti-abortion measure will likely soon become law after House legislators sent it to the governor Wednesday.

Some physicians say the legislation, HB 1577, would force them to commit malpractice by telling patients about a protocol to reverse a medication-induced abortion. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the American Medical Association both oppose such procedures, arguing there’s never been a valid scientific study to support them.

But Rep. Peggy Mayfield (R-Martinsville) said there is evidence to support abortion reversal, including a young Hoosier mother who appeared in committee with her child after reversing her abortion.

“That’s pretty darn good proof that it does work,” Mayfield said.

Rep. Sue Errington (D-Muncie) said there are better ways to reduce abortions.
https://www.wfyi.org/news/articles/house-sends-unethical-abortion-reversal-bill-to-governor

You want to reduce abortions? How about this: PROPER SEX EDUCATION! Of course this is coming from the party that thinks education should only exist for the wealthy. But there’s even a third law coming from the Hoosier State that could, again, really do some damage to the anti-abortion movement! In fact this one concerns minors and whether or not they must get parental consent to have an abortion – this is a stunning level of evil, and we can only imagine how *THAT* conversation is going to go with the parents!

A case challenging an Indiana abortion law that requires “mature minors” to notify their parents before getting an abortion is back before the United States Supreme Court, with the state of Indiana asking the justices to take the case to provide clarity on a legal issue that it says caused the 7th Circuit to “(throw) up its hands in frustration.”

Indiana Attorney General Todd Rokita on Monday filed a petition for writ of certiorari in Kristina Box, Commissioner, Indiana State Department of Health, et al. v. Planned Parenthood of Indiana and Kentucky, Inc. The case involves a challenge to Senate Enrolled Act 404, a 2017 law that, had it taken effect, would have required so-called mature minors to notify their parents before undergoing an abortion procedure, even if a court determined parental consent was not required for the abortion.

“This case presents a simple question, namely, whether States can ensure that parents of unemancipated minor children are notified of their daughters’ court-authorized abortion. But answering that seemingly direct question has plainly roiled the Seventh Circuit’s judges — regardless of how they ultimately voted — owing to the ‘not stable’ and ‘fluid’ constitutional standards application to abortion regulations,” the state’s cert petition reads. “Indeed, at least some, if not most, Seventh Circuit judges have refused to engage the issue at all because only this Court can say what ‘undue burden’ means in any given context. Accordingly, the State urges the Court to grant its petition and clarify abortion-rights doctrine, at least with respect to parental-notice laws.”

The case against SEA 404 has already been to the Supreme Court and back.
https://www.theindianalawyer.com/articles/indiana-asks-scotus-to-review-mature-minors-abortion-law-a-second-time

[font size="2"]Arkansas [/font]

So in Arkansas they are experiencing a family values crisis of their own that has nothing to do with abortion. Instead they are choosing to take on…. Transgender athletes! Yes, trans athletes are somehow a problem. But these laws that are emerging aren’t just unique to the Razorback State. They’re becoming a problem in a lot of conservative run states. Which is funny because this is a problem that affects literally 0.0000001% of the population yet somehow affects 99.9999999% of conservative republicans! We’ll see how this one plays out as these rise up through the courts!

Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson has signed into law a bill that would ban transgender women athletes from participating on girls’ and women’s sports teams, he announced Thursday evening.

Similar bills have been filed in more than 20 states, and Arkansas is the second to sign one into law, following Mississippi.

Proponents of Senate Bill 354 by Sen. Missy Irvin, R-Mountain View, and other efforts say their aim is to create a fair playing field in sports, arguing that athletes assigned the male gender at birth have inherent physiological advantages over cisgender girls and women, though they have acknowledged there are no verified instances of transgender girls or women participating in K-12 or college sports in the Natural State.

Democratic lawmakers and transgender advocates say the bill seeks to solve a nonexistent problem, and discriminates against a segment of youth already subject to bullying and higher suicide rates.

Snip

https://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2021/mar/25/gov-asa-hutchinson-signs-law-banning-transgender-w/

Hmmm… we may have to add Asa Hutchinson to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected in the near future. But this isn’t the only thing that is limiting trans people in Arkansas. And if you are somehow a trans person in Arkansas my advice to you is this: get the hell out now! Things are only going to get worse as crazier and stupider republicans get elected! So yeah shit like this is going to make things that much worse:

Oh and think you’re exempt from hate? Well guess what? You’re not! Because while hate crimes against everybody are on the rise, and Biden denounced hate crimes against Asian Americans, the Arkansas government seems to be ignoring them completely! But instead while they can’t police thoughts – because that would be impossible, they are instead choosing to ban – wait for it – divisive concepts and if you actually read the bill, it is stunningly racist!

Arkansas Republicans killed any hope for a meaningful hate crimes law getting passed this session, arguing that policing thoughts is beyond their purview. But preventing people from talking about racism and oppression is apparently fair game.

Acknowledging and discussing systemic racism and white privilege would be banned within Arkansas state government and for any contractors paid with state funds under a bill filed April 1.

Senate Bill 627 “TO PROHIBIT THE PROPAGATION OF DIVISIVE CONCEPTS” is sponsored by white male Republican senators Trent Garner (El Dorado), Bob Ballinger (Ozark) and Blake Johnson (Corning). SB 627 is a nearly exact replica of a measure that died in a New Hampshire statehouse committee room last month. The Arkansas bill is also comparable to former President Trump’s now-defunct “critical race theory” order that effectively banned diversity and inclusion training in the federal government.

The bill lists a dozen to-be-banned “divisive concepts,” including the notion that racism or sexism is a fundamental component of the nation’s or of Arkansas’s identity.

Read more: https://arktimes.com/arkansas-blog/2021/04/02/the-party-of-we-cant-police-peoples-thoughts-offers-ban-on-divisive-concepts

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we may have a Cinderella story brewing here… right now Arkansas has the ball and they lead by a score of 81 – 78… for 3! YES!!! Just 10 seconds left to go… ladies and gentlemen, the Razorbacks have knocked off the Hoosiers! They are celebrating on the court and they will be going to face Texas for the Layover League championship! Wow, what an upset! The fans are going crazy! Final score: 84 – 78!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

Now that the Flyover League championship has been set, it’s time for the Layover League! Next week it’s the Batshit Conference Finals - #1 Georgia takes on #4 Michigan! Who will advance and who will go home? Will Michigan stun the favorites and pull off an upset? Only one way to find out!

See you next week!

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April 22, 2021

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-11: Don't Take Me Out To The Ballgame Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-11: Don’t Take Me Out To The Ballgame Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is the very last and final Top 10 Conservative Idiots… … at Flappers Comedy Club with the blank, blue void! We actually have an ending date for this, finally! So I have some good news and I have some bad news. I’ll start with the bad news first – we’ve been asked to leave our home at Flappers Comedy Club. The good news? We have been asked to leave Flappers because…. Comedy clubs are finally opening back up! Yay!!!! Oh the kids love this don’t they? Which means… live Idiots are coming back! I’ve been waiting for this announcement for what seems like an eternity! We’ll be announcing dates for Season 11 during our time off! Oh man I can’t wait to get on the road. So for the time being, we’re relocating the Idiots to one of my favorite music venues in Southern California – the Observatory OC in nearby Santa Ana. This is a great venue with great bars and I’ve seen so many great shows here over the years. Funkadelic, 311, Tiger Army, Deftones, the Offspring, Coheed & Cambria, Devo, Symphony X, Opeth, Portugal The Man, Gogol Bordello, Toots & The Maytals… just to name a few. So they’ll be our temporary home for the end of the season, we’ll be finding a new home and announcing it shortly. But truth be told, we can’t wait to get back out on the road after being cooped up for over a year. And that also means the return of one of our favorite features – the Wheel Of Corruption! Things are getting exciting, folks! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the subject of bankruptcy, which is not something you can just declare like Michael Scott:

So where do we begin this week? Well to start with , now that COVID is subsiding we’re getting back to that other epidemic that’s overwhelming health care and sending Americans to early graves. I’m of course talking about guns. And in the #1 slot this week is – Guns (1)! And there’s so much going on that we really can’t jam everything we wanted to in one segment, we don’t have that kind of time! Taking the second slot this week is our favorite Q Anon Congresspeople – Laruen Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene (2) because wait until you find out what they voted against! In the third slot this week is Capitol Rioters (3). Because being led by Iced Earth founder Jon Schaffer, they’re about to do some time and it’s not looking good, but you know what? Fuck ‘em. Taking the 4th slot this week is Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley (4). They’re attempting to take on MLB over the Altanta voting debacle and Well his social media site is already getting some much deserved shit, and he’s starting a new internet merchandise conglomerate to compete with Amazon! Yeah, good luck with that! In the 5th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week what happens when you cancel your online subscription software services? Well you get sent to a whole new level of customer service hell, that’s what! In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor has been spending way too much time watching the Jim Bakker Show, and he has had some absolutely batshit crazy guests on, and we’re going to go through some of the best, or worst of them In the #7 slot this week we’re debut a new segment – “Good Luck With That” (7) featuring Mike Lindell of My Pillow fame! Yes he’s taking on everything from social media to Amazon, and we predict a huge number of these are going to crash and burn! In the number 8 slot this week is a new Conspiracy Corner (8) and our old buddy Tucker Carlson is going full on white supremacist with a new version of the “White Replacement Theory” and yeah… it’s as racist as it sounds! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new I Need A Drink (9) – and really, do we need Dwayne Johnson as the 47th president of the United States? Come on, no more celebrity politicians! Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State (10)! This week it’s Round 2 Week 1 which means it’s the Gun Nut Conference finals! Texas. Idaho. Who has enough firepower to take the other team out? It’s getting really exciting, folks! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]All Guns All The Time
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There’s no one who’s directly responsible for this but I am definitely venting my frustrations here in this entry. Because I have said it before many times, and I will say it again. Fuck guns. Fuck gun nuts. And fuck the NRA. Also, fuck Alex Jones too. The mass shootings are getting worse and it seems like there's one every other day anymore. It's becoming an epidemic. Hell it's such an epidemic that Trevor Noah was able to compare mass shooter manifestos and found that they matched almost word for word, and they are the incoherent ramblings of psychopaths! There's lots of people who you could blame for this mess. So instead I will combine everything I can find into one entry because we really don't have the kind of time to analyze all the news that's been going on. But I will say this. If you haven’t George Carlin’s 2005 special “Life Is Worth Losing”, then you must see it now. In fact you can see it for yourself here:

In the special he saw what was going to be coming because of America’s reckless policies. That terrorists were going to be coming out of the woodwork. The scary thing is this happened in 2005. He saw what was coming and he warned us. And well, here we are 15 years later when there’s literally a mass shooting about every day or every other day. People are rightfully horrified, but Congress isn’t doing anything because of the NRA’s stranglehold on our government. So what we want to know is – what can be done?

In an era marked by deep divisions between Republicans and Democrats, few issues are as politically polarizing as gun policy. While a few specific policy proposals continue to garner bipartisan support, the partisan divisions on other proposals – and even on whether gun violence is a serious national problem – have grown wider over the last few years.

Today, just over half of Americans (53%) say gun laws should be stricter than they currently are, a view held by 81% of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents but just 20% of Republicans and Republican leaners. Similarly, while nearly three-quarters of Democrats (73%) say making it harder to legally obtain guns would lead to fewer mass shootings, only 20% of Republicans say this, with most (65%) saying this would have no effect.

The new national survey by Pew Research Center, conducted from April 5-11, 2021 among 5,109 adults, finds that 73% of Democrats consider gun violence to be a very big problem for the country today, compared with just 18% of Republicans who say the same. The current partisan gap on this question is 11-percentage-points wider than in 2018 and 19 points wider than in 2016.

Overall, several gun policy proposals continue to draw broad support from Americans. Nearly nine-in-ten (87%) favor preventing people with mental illnesses from purchasing guns, while 81% favor subjecting private gun sales and sales at gun shows to background checks.
https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2021/04/20/amid-a-series-of-mass-shootings-in-the-u-s-gun-policy-remains-deeply-divisive/

Yeah that’s exactly about what it’s come to in America. Here’s the thing is that there’s plenty of ways we could end this madness and they all have the support of the majority of the American people! But conservatives in Congress will *NEVER* vote against the NRA because of that stupid gun-toting, flag waving “SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!!!11!!1!” bullshit. But after an entire month where literally every day was one mass shooting after another, it’s time to maybe, I don’t know, start infringing!

The Supreme Court on Monday declined to take up three challenges to a federal ban on gun ownership for people convicted of nonviolent crimes, disappointing Second Amendment advocates who hoped a more conservative court would begin to chip away at the restriction.

By not taking the appeals, the nation's highest court let stand a series of lower court rulings that prohibited people convicted of driving under the influence, making false statements on tax returns and selling counterfeit cassette tapes from owning a gun.

The decisions Monday, which were handed down without explanation, are the latest in a series of instances in which the Supreme Court has skirted Second Amendment questions. The high court last issued major guns rights rulings in 2008 and 2010, cases that struck down handgun restrictions in the District of Columbia and Chicago.

Gun rights groups vowed to continue to press the issue.

"While we are disappointed the Supreme Court chose to allow grossly improper lower court rulings to stand, (we) will continue our aggressive litigation strategy," said Adam Kraut, senior director of legal operations at the Firearms Policy Coalition, which represented several of the petitioners.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2021/04/19/lifetime-ban-supreme-court-passes-three-second-amendment-cases/7283819002/

Seriously they might as well legalize dueling and get it over with. And by the way if you want to see where this is heading, don’t worry we’ll get to that in a minute. In fact most places are heading towards the exact opposite direction of what the people want. Really, in 2021 it’s probably easier and cheaper if we all just keeled over and died, because that’s what the NRA and republican lawmakers really think of us hardworking Americans.

In 2020?s pandemic year, record gun sales. In 2021, tragically, Americans are using them.

No one can say they didn’t see this coming. It was just over one year ago — amid the initial shock of a fast-moving global pandemic and the United States on lockdown, with deeper fears and paranoia beginning to set in — that, along the silence of empty streets, hordes of people lined up down city sidewalks to get into gun stores.

On March 18, 2020, The Inquirer reported that 30 people — some of them wearing protective masks, maybe for the first time — were waiting to get inside the Philadelphia Gun and Archery Club in South Philly (that famed archery hotspot) to purchase a deadly weapon or to stock up on ammunition amid the uncertainty of the pandemic.

“I’m looking to get an AR-15,” Joe Lynch, a 46-year-old longshoreman from South Philadelphia, told the newspaper, voicing concern over a report that police would stop enforcing lower-level crimes because of the coronavirus risk. “It’s a crazy city we’re living in.”
https://www.inquirer.com/columnists/attytood/gun-sales-mass-shootings-america-crisis-20210420.html

If only it were that easy, Marge! But if you really want to see where this is going let’s take a look at what’s going on in Nebraska! Because this is the opposite of what the people want. In a world where mass shootings are at an all time high, this is happening. And we may have to explore this in detail in a future edition. It’s getting fucking scary out there, and people like Pete Ricketts of Nebraska, you’re not helping!

Doubling down on his pro-gun rights credentials, Gov. Pete Ricketts signed a symbolic proclamation Wednesday designating Nebraska as a "Second Amendment Sanctuary State."

The proclamation comes as President Joe Biden recently announced a plan to address gun violence.

A growing number of Nebraska counties have adopted similar "sanctuary" resolutions. A bill also is pending in the Nebraska Legislature to allow counties to opt out of the state requirement that gun owners register and take a gun safety course to carry concealed weapons.

“The White House and U.S. Congress have announced their intention to pursue measures that would infringe on the right to keep and bear arms,” Ricketts stated in the proclamation. “Nebraska will stand up against federal overreach and attempts to regulate gun ownership and use in the Good Life.”

"Second Amendment sanctuary" refers to a declaration that a state, county or city will not enforce federal gun laws they consider to be too restrictive. At least four states, including neighboring Kansas and Wyoming, have declared themselves "sanctuary states."
https://journalstar.com/news/state-and-regional/govt-and-politics/gov-ricketts-designates-nebraska-as-sanctuary-state-for-gun-rights/article_f21deb9e-4a45-5406-8141-16283189ae97.html

[font size="8"]Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene
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So would you expect Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Batshit) to be anything less than charitable? I mean come on, let’s break it down. Lauren Boebert ran a gun themed restaurant called Shooters that got shut down by the health inspectors after an outbreak of food poisoning that gave their customers volatile diarrhea. And then there’s Marjorie Taylor Greene – a Crossfit owner who got caught fleecing her gym members for political donations and then won the election because her opponent dropped out after getting death threats. So it’s no surprise at all when out of 417 members of Congress, they were the only two that voted against something that literally everyone could agree on. I mean it’s like come on, you don’t have to be controversial and say stupid shit 100% of the time. Here's what happened this week. In one of the more shocking and stupid moves they've made so far, they voted against giving leukemia patients bone marrow donors. Which the 415 other members of Congress voted to approve! That's right, even Louis Gohmert and Steve King voted to approve this one! Greene and Boebert did not and they're almost quite literally sticking out like sore thumbs on this issue!

U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert raised eyebrows Thursday night by voting against a bill to reauthorize the National Marrow Donor Program, which matches leukemia and lymphoma patients with donors of bone marrow and cord blood.

The legislation passed the U.S. House by a vote of 415-2. Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican who doesn’t shy away from controversy, were the only nay votes.

Boebert’s office did not respond to a request for comment, but the Republican from Silt told CNN that she opposed the bill because it adds to the national debt, did not go through the committee process and was not analyzed by the Congressional Budget Office, the agency which determines how much money a bill will cost.

“I’m not voting for bills that don’t go through committee and add hundreds of millions of dollars to the national debt,” Boebert tweeted Friday.

The bill — H.R. 941, the TRANSPLANT Act — was passed under a suspension of the rules, a tactic commonly used for expediting uncontroversial legislation. All other members of Congress from Colorado, Democrat and Republican, voted for it.
https://www.denverpost.com/2021/04/16/lauren-boebert-congress-bone-marrow/

OK here’s the thing – we would like to think that not getting sick and dying would be at the top of literally everyone’s lists. But as we’ve seen in the last year, eh……… that is up for debate. And it seems the people who actually want to get sick and die are the ones who are affecting the ones that don’t and making our lives that much more miserable. But really this is one of those instances where our life’s motto of “don’t be a dick” applies.

Conservative Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia and Lauren Boebert of Colorado were the only two House members to vote against a bill that would reauthorize the National Marrow Donor Program.

The bill H.R.941, or the TRANSPLANT Act, overwhelmingly passed the House in a 415-2 vote on Thursday night.

There were 12 lawmakers who didn't cast a vote.

The bill would reauthorize a program that matches bone marrow donors and cord blood units with patients who have leukemia and other diseases. The bill would help thousands of people diagnosed with leukemia and other diseases by reauthorizing the National Marrow Donor Program and the National Cord Blood Inventory for another five years.

Boebert said in a statement to CNN, "This bill added hundreds of millions of dollars to the national debt, while not receiving a CBO score or going through the committee process," a reference to scoring done by the Congressional Budget Office, the agency that, among other things, tells lawmakers how much legislation will cost.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/04/16/politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-lauren-boebert-vote-against-bill-for-leukemia-patients/index.html

OK here’s the thing – we get not voting at all. Or skipping the vote because you’re unable to do so. But going against a 415 vote majority is not only vastly stupid, it makes you stick out like a sore thumb! 415 to 2! I just can’t even get over how dumb that is. So why oppose the National Bone Marrow Registry? It doesn’t hurt anybody and is helpful in actually saving lives. There’s nothing I can say but I am literally shaking my head at how stupid this is! Argh!!!

In this case, Republican Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia and Lauren Boebert of Colorado were the only "no" votes.
Recommended

And why, pray tell, did they cast this vote, knowing that the bill would easily pass anyway? Boebert published a tweet on Friday that read in part, "I'm not voting for bills that don't go through committee." While it's true that the bill didn't get a committee hearing, that's because the programs the bill reauthorizes already exist -- and already work. There wasn't anything for lawmakers to discuss at the committee level, which is why 415 members voted for it.

But even more interesting was the statement Greene's office sent to the Daily Beast, complaining, "Nothing in this bill prevents the funding of aborted fetal tissue by taxpayers. It opens the door for the [National Institutes of Health] to use this bill to research the remains of babies who were murdered in the womb."

The same report explained, this reasoning doesn't make a lot sense. Greene's office was apparently under the impression that the TRANSPLANT Act relates to fetal tissue and/or embryonic stem cells. It does not.
https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/why-did-some-republicans-oppose-national-marrow-donor-program-n1264493

Oh and this isn’t the only stupid thing they voted on this week. Literally like if we proposed a law against torturing puppies, the republicans would vote in favor of torturing puppies. Seriously – the conservatives – Greene and Boebert included – voted for allowing companies to scam senior citizens, and for carbon monoxide poisoning. Come on guys, Rush Limbaugh is dead. Let’s have Limbaughism die with him as well!

In what’s becoming a trend for this Congress, a group of House Republicans – many of whom are members of the right-wing Freedom Caucus – voted against bipartisan legislation that was passed Thursday by overwhelming margins, in a sign of their increasing willingness to buck their party’s whip.

Just eight House Republicans voted against the Protecting Seniors from Emergency Scams Act, which requires the Federal Trade Commission to compile a report for Congress on scams targeting seniors.

The bill passed 413-8, with Reps. Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.), Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.), Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.), Thomas Massie (R-Ky.), Ralph Norman (R-S.C.) and Chip Roy (R-Texas) voting no.

Seven of those eight, plus Reps. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.), Ken Buck (R-Colo.), Jody Hice (R-Ga.), Bob Good (R-Va.), Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) and Pete Sessions (R-Texas) voted against a bill to create an advisory office to help monitor scams targeting seniors, which passed 396-13.

Massie, in a statement to Forbes on his vote against the two bills, cited the national debt as his motivation: “A nation $28 trillion in debt shouldn’t spend unspecified amounts of money on unspecific solutions.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewsolender/2021/04/16/right-wing-house-republicans-vote-against-bills-combating-senior-scams-carbon-monoxide/?sh=55f14e31412a

[font size="8"]Capitol Rioters
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Everyone remembers where they were on January 6th, a day that will live in infamy. And everyone was rightfully horrified when a mob of frustrated Trump supporters stormed, looted and trashed the Capitol while threatening to murder the Vice President and other members of Congress if they went through with certifying the vote for Joe Biden as our 46th president. Well one thing I will say as the host of a program called Top 10 Conservative Idiots, is that this has been the gift that keeps on giving. We will seriously have material for like the next five years because of this one event. Well that is if we can keep going 5 more years. Not having strong ratings or a budget doesn’t help things! But anyway we have to start because last week our old buddy Jon Schaffer, the founder and lead guitarist of heavy metal band Iced Earth (see: Top 10 #10-1 ) is back in the news because he’s the first to plead guilty!

Jon Schaffer has pleaded guilty to two counts for his role in the US Capitol riot on January 6.

The Iced Earth founder and electric guitar player faced six charges for his involvement in the violent insurrection, but in a plea deal pleaded guilty to two: obstruction of an official proceeding of Congress and trespassing on restricted grounds of the Capitol while armed with a deadly or dangerous weapon.

Both charges are felonies, with the former punishable by up to 20 years in prison and the latter up to 10 years. Schaffer was originally charged with six offenses, and faced up to 30 years in prison.

Schaffer is now the first rioter involved in the insurrection to plead guilty.

According to CNN, the plea deal describes Schaffer as a "founding lifetime member" of the right-wing paramilitary group the Oath Keepers, and as part of the deal, Schaffer also "admits his belief that the Electoral College results were fraudulent is not a legal justification" for storming the US Capitol.
https://www.guitarworld.com/news/iced-earths-jon-schaffer-pleads-guilty-to-two-felonies-for-role-in-us-capitol-insurrection

Now here’s something that I didn’t know prior to last week – did you know that Schaffer was a founding member of right wing terrorist group, er, militia the Oath Keepers? Yeah that was a shocking piece of news that came out, though it’s not really that shocking. But one guy I love in metal who is the opposite of Schaffer, Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider, had some very strong words to say about Schaffer. And yeah we actually kind of agree with him on this one.

Twisted Sister‘s Dee Snider has branded Iced Earth‘s Jon Schaffer a “piece of shit” and “embarrassment to the metal community” after his role in the US Capitol riot.

The metal guitarist was part of the mob that stormed the building on January 6, and pleaded guilty to his role in the violent scenes last week.

He admitted admitted to the obstruction of an official proceeding and entering a building with a dangerous weapon (carrying bear spray). CNN reports that a prison sentence of between 3.5 to 4.5 years has been suggested, based on a joint recommendation between prosecutors and Schaffer’s lawyers.

A plea deal could still be in the works, with Schaffer questioned about his ties to the militia organisation the Oath Keepers. During the insurrection, Schaffer was filmed and photographed wearing an Oath Keepers Lifetime Member baseball hat.

Snider shared a CNN article on Schaffer’s guilty pleas, criticising the guitarist for his role in the riot and for sharing information on the Oath Keepers.
https://www.nme.com/news/music/twisted-sisters-dee-snider-brands-iced-earths-jon-schaffer-an-embarrassment-to-metal-after-role-in-us-capitol-riots-2923170

As you can imagine this has divided the metal community very sharply. And it will be quite interesting to see if Schaffer rats out his Oath Keeper buddies. But naturally as the news broke last week, you can imagine that just about everyone in the metal community has had their opinions on Schaffer. But what’s really interesting to point out is that Schaffer is someone who is almost kind of the exact opposite of the type of mind that Trump attracts.

Danko Jones has blasted ICED EARTH leader Jon Schaffer, calling him "a white nationalist piece of dog dung."

On Friday (March 19), U.S. Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui ordered Schaffer held without bail on six federal criminal charges related to his alleged involvement with the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. He ruled that while Schaffer wasn't a flight risk, he does pose a danger to the community. Schaffer's attorney argued his client's comments were taken out of context, and that he knows he used bad judgment on January 6 and wishes he had a "do-over."

Earlier today (Sunday, March 21), Danko tweeted out a link to a NME article about Friday's hearing, and he included the following message: "Jon Schaffer used bad judgement because he's a white nationalist piece of dog dung. His band mates cheered him on because ICED EARTH are a terrible band. His request for a 'do-over' proves his pathetic weakness. He's the dictionary definition of a bell-end." The Canadian rocker, who is the frontman of his namesake trio, added in a separate tweet: "Only those that cosplay at being Alpha want 'do-overs'. Jon Schaffer and @_IcedEarth are a FAKE band."

On January 6, then-ICED EARTH vocalist Stu Block appeared to take pleasure in the grim images out of Washington during the pro-Donald Trump riot on Capitol Hill, writing in a since-deleted post on his Facebook page: "Oh it's happening! History in the making. Sending love to my friends in the US and all over the world!" He later apologized for his post, saying that his "wording was absolutely misunderstood and not properly thought out on my part." A month later, Block and ICED EARTH bassist Luke Appleton announced their departures from the band.
https://www.blabbermouth.net/news/danko-jones-calls-jon-schaffer-a-white-nationalist-piece-of-dog-dung-says-iced-earth-is-a-fake-band/

So you can imagine that coming from someone who is a massive fan of heavy metal (and has actually seen Iced Earth in concert at one point), I have a natural interest of this case. And we will definitely be following with any updates as they happen. But getting back to what I said earlier, in terms of the sheer volume of content that is coming from the Capitol Riot, we won’t have any shortage of material anytime soon. Especially since both Vice and the New York Times recreated the Capitol Riot from cell phone data, and it’s pretty horrifying.

The masses came as asked. They came because something, they believed, had been taken from them.

“Media will not show the magnitude of this crowd,” President Donald Trump bellowed from the Ellipse, south of the White House, on January 6. “We have hundreds of thousands of people here, and I just want them to be recognized by the fake news media. Turn your cameras, please, and show what's really happening out here, because these people are not going to take it any longer.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said.

No one had. In the hours that followed, thousands of Trump supporters marched on the Capitol, where Congress was officially counting electoral ballots, to protest President Joe Biden’s election. A mob broke into the building, forcing senators and representatives to flee for cover as insurrectionists roamed the hallways and tear gas floated through the Rotunda.

For this special episode of Source Material, an immersive series aimed at giving viewers the experience of being in the center of a story, VICE News scoured hundreds of hours of footage from the insurrection to distill how a spectrum of ideologies, conspiracies, and political beliefs converged that winter day.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkbe4b/the-capitol-riot-through-cell-phone-videos-terrifying?fbclid=IwAR07mv-xD7Luxj6AXiVPzt7s8DMfdXC5-QTACSJ7JeNQhwn144P3R_78m_4

[font size="8"]Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley
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History time, kids! Gather around, don’t be shy! Well maybe still keep social distance, at least for a while longer! But anyways I want to give you a little history lesson. In 1918 the Major League Baseball season regular attendance hit an all time low. After the influenza pandemic, in 1919 when stadiums finally opened back up, they experienced record breaking attendance because of what economists refer to as “pent-up demand”. And part of that was also thanks to a rookie Boston Red Sox shortstop – Herman George Ruth, aka Babe Ruth. Now in 2021, we’re seeing some of that now and the possibilities of what will happen when we fully reopen after coronavirus. Now let’s compare that with the fallout of MLB pulling the 2021 All Star Game out of Atlanta because of the voter laws. Well Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley (Q – Batshit) are going nuclear on the organization for this decision but you won’t see that happening at baseball games anytime soon.

A trio of Republican lawmakers outlined legislation Tuesday aimed at ending Major League Baseball's antitrust exemption after the All-Star Game was moved out of Georgia in protest of that state's new voting restrictions.

The legislative push from the three conservative senators — Ted Cruz of Texas, Mike Lee of Utah and Josh Hawley of Missouri — comes amid growing frustrations among Republicans over corporations and sports leagues embracing causes associated with progressives, such as protecting voting rights.

MLB relocated the Midsummer Classic from Truist Park, the Atlanta Braves home in Cobb County, Georgia, to Denver's Coors Field due to recently enacted voting limits signed into law by Gov. Brian Kemp, a Republican.

"This past month, we have seen the rise of the woke corporation. We have seen the rise of big business enforcing a woke standard," Cruz told reporters.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/sens-cruz-hawley-lee-seek-strip-major-league-baseball-anti-n1263930

Yeah that’s about what it feels like Cruz and Hawley are trying to do with this madness. But is it really going to work? Well of course they’re going after “woke” culture to justify their actions. You know what though? It’s all bullshit. We get that they’re trying to send a message that you don’t screw with the conservative mafia, but considering they’re currently the minority party we don’t expect this to go very far.

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz on Tuesday called for the removal of Major League Baseball’s immunity from anti-trust laws in response to the league’s decision to pull the 2021 All-Star game from Atlanta over Georgia’s new voting restrictions.

“If they’re gonna play partisan enforcer, they shouldn’t expect to see special goodies from Washington when they are dishonestly acting to favor one party against the other,” Cruz told reporters in a news conference alongside fellow Republican U.S. Sens. Josh Hawley of Missouri and Mike Lee of Utah.

In late March, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp signed into law a bill that shrinks the window for voters to request absentee ballots, imposes new voter ID requirements, and bans the handing out of water and food to people waiting in line to vote. Cruz pointed out in his Tuesday remarks that the Georgia bill expands early voting times.

MLB’s anti-trust exemption reduces the possibility of a competing league from emerging and threatening its status as the preeminent professional baseball league. MLB is unique compared with its peers in other sports in that it benefits from a 1922 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that treats the league as a sport and not a business.
https://www.texastribune.org/2021/04/13/ted-cruz-major-league-baseball-georgia-anti-trust/

Yeah I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works. So what is antitrust exemption? How exactly would targeting that hurt MLB as a large organization that employs thousands of people? Well just like the last pandemic, MLB’s anti-trust legislation also goes back 100 years. And the idea is that it makes it exempt from the Sherman Act, which means that businesses couldn’t collude with each other. So if this happens, what’s to stop the MLB from colluding with the NFL or NHL? Hmmm… they might want to think this one through!

MLB’s antitrust exemption resulted from a 1922 Supreme Court ruling that stated, somewhat incredulously, that the business of Major League Baseball did not constitute “interstate commerce,” thus making it exempt from the Sherman Act, which prevents businesses from conspiring with one another in an effort to thwart competition.

The Supreme Court decision came seven years after the Federal League first filed suit against the major leagues, but the nascent league’s claims of collusion went unheard by the presiding judge, future baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis. The Baltimore Terrapins were the only Federal League franchise to press the issue, but an initial victory was overturned and ultimately the Supreme Court ruled against it, with Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes writing that “personal effort, not related to production, is not a subject of commerce.”

Baseball, it determined, was just a game. You wonder if Justice Holmes had any inkling this game would blossom into an $11 billion industry controlled almost entirely by one entity.

Long before the MLB Players’ Association asserted itself as one of the most powerful unions in the country, players had far fewer avenues to seek relief against the major leagues.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/mlb/2021/04/13/mlb-antitrust-exemption-immunity-ted-cruz-josh-hawley-baseball-all-star-game/7211552002/

So maybe don’t take me out to the ballgame. Don’t take me out with the crowd. But in terms of actually putting up a fight with this, Ted Cruz is almost quite literally up a creek without a paddle. Although we would totally expect this coming from a guy who last week posted for pictures from his little stint at the border dressed like he was a Disneyland cast member auditioning for the Jungle Cruise ride. But yeah this whole thing is absolutely ridiculous, and right now, is probably #999 on the list of the 1,000 things we need to worry about right now. But that’s conservatism for you!

Major League Baseball’s decision to move the All-Star Game out of (suburban) Atlanta as a response to Georgia’s racist voting law generated a response of its own from two of the Senate’s leading shitposting insurrectionists, Ted Cruz and Mike Lee: a threat to draft legislation to revoke baseball’s antitrust exemption.

Cruz, in an effort to show just how much he’s devoted to online clout rather than actual governance or meaningful action, included the hashtag #GowokeGobroke, because, sure, Major League Baseball and its billionaire team owners who use Jackie Robinson’s memory once a year to 42-wash the sport’s lingering institutional racism, yeah, they’re super leftists now because they decided the free market would find it toxic to remain in Georgia.

One way to tell that this threat is more about performative outrage than anything serious is that Cruz knows where his bread is buttered and who he really represents: those billionaire team owners. In the past 10 years, Cruz has gotten $60,600 from Diamondbacks owner Ken Kendrick and his family alone, as found in the OpenSecrets.org database. He’s not really going to do anything that hurts his buddies.

But the threat is out there, and it’s not the first time there’s been talk about ending MLB’s antitrust exemption, which was modified in 1998 by the Curt Flood Act, in which Congress established that baseball players “will have the same rights under the antitrust laws as do other professional athletes, e.g., football and basketball players.”
https://deadspin.com/ted-cruz-s-performative-outrage-over-mlb-is-laughably-d-1846644163

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Canceling Software Subscriptions
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

If you subscribe to expensive software subscriptions, such as those from Adobe and Autodesk, you are at the mercy of their Terms Of Service agreements, which we all agree that nobody reads and they could say just about anything in there. Such is a problem of the 21st century digital age. In fact this is such a common occurrence that it was the subject of a South Park episode. In fact if you do wind up canceling your subscription service, you will wind up paying ridiculous cancellation fees and be subject to customer service hell. But buying software in 2021, with constant updates and cloud services, is not what one would call cheap. In fact reading the fine print, which we encourage you to do here, might cause one to think twice before buying that latest version of Photoshop.

Adobe Creative Cloud typically sparks ingenuity and artistry among pro-level content creators, but this time, the suite of apps sparked a fiery Twitter uprising against Adobe for its "absurd" cancellation fees.

The ringleader of this social-media insurrection is @MrDaddGuy. They posted a screenshot showing their attempt to cancel their "Creative Cloud: All Apps" plan, which includes Photoshop, Lightroom, Lightroom Classic, Illustrator and InDesign. However, @MrDaddGuy was slapped with a $291.45 cancellation fee. Yikes!

"This is [expletive] disgusting," @MrDaddGuy tweeted under the screenshot. "I'm honestly not surprised, but I am so [expletive] unbelievably pissed. This is beyond appalling." As of this writing, the tweet garnered more than 75,100 likes, 5,183 quote tweets and 14,200 retweets. Their post incited a wave of Adobe customers who commiserated with @MrDaddGuy's cancellation-fee woes.

"This is blowing up, great! Reminder that Adobe is a terrible ass company that hides the 'contract' part by hiding parts of the payment agreement in terms of service," @MrDaddGuy tweeted.

To breakdown @MrDaddGuy's frustration, "Adobe's Creative Cloud: All Apps" plan has three tiers: month-to-month, annual contract (paid monthly) and annual plan (pre-paid).

The month-to-month plan costs $79.49 per month, the annual contract (paid monthly) sets you back $52.99 per month, and the pre-paid annual plan has a $599.88 price tag. @MrDaddGuy signed up for the annual contract (paid monthly) plan. If customers cancel after the two-week grace period, they will be charged a lump-sum amount of 50% of their remaining contract obligation. This is why @MrDaddGuy was slapped with a $291 bill.
https://www.laptopmag.com/news/adobe-cancellation-fee-sparks-twitter-rage-how-to-get-yours-waived

That’s right - $291 just to cancel a service contract. That is beyond ridiculous. But when you sign up you need to read the terms of service agreement. Who knows what they hide between the lines of those things because they are longer than the length of the US Constitution. But Mr. Daddy is not the only Twitter user who has been experiencing a beef with the software giant. In fact it’s becoming an increasing problem throughout the industry.

When Jolene Stewart placed an order online for lingerie from Rihanna's line, Fenty X Savage, this year, she unwittingly signed up for a subscription that charged her bank account every month in exchange for credits to buy more bras and underwear.

"It was part of a deal, and I guess I didn't read the fine print close enough," said Stewart, 22, a recent college graduate.

As soon as Stewart realized that she had been charged, she canceled the subscription and opted to use the credits she had already paid for. Three months later, Stewart discovered that Fenty X Savage had been charging her $49.95 a month for a subscription she was sure she had canceled — the company restarted her subscription when she used the credits, she said, sharing screenshots of the three payments with NBC News.

When Stewart asked that her card be refunded and that her subscription be canceled, the company refunded her for only one month, she said. The ordeal cost her close to $150 that she had never intended to spend.

"I love Rihanna and her products," she said. "So I was really surprised and was like I guess won't be shopping there anymore."
https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/customers-fight-surprise-charges-online-subscriptions-surge-n1252149

So this has sparked a rather interesting online debate. When software companies charge outrageous fees and put you through hoop after hoop to cancel their subscriptions, is it OK to pirate their software and use it instead of paying? Well you can argue the moral stance on what’s right until you are blue in the face. But the bottom line is the answer is no. And you might be asking what’s the alternative to this outrageous price gouging? Well there really isn’t one.

A $291 Adobe cancelation fee has provoked fierce criticism of the creative software company.

A post from a customer has gone viral on Twitter, after he discovered that he would have to pay nearly $300 to bring his Creative Cloud subscription to an end.

It has sparked a discussion about Adobe's practices, with many others coming forward to say that they too have faced extremely steep cancelation fees when they've tried to cut ties with the company.

A screenshot uploaded to the micro-blogging site by Twitter user @Mrdaddguy showed that they faced a $291.45 fee to cancel their Adobe Creative Cloud plan.

At the time of publication the tweet has attracted more than 13,000 retweets, more than 4,000 quote tweets, and more than 70,000 likes.
https://www.newsweek.com/adobe-cancelation-fee-twitter-users-argue-morally-correct-pirate-software-1583146

Yeah that seems about right. So people naturally have a right to be upset about getting fleeced if they hit the “cancel” button but this is one of those times where we actually encourage you to read the fine print. You most likely won’t, but then again you did agree to this when you signed up. And yes you can gripe about the cancellation fees all you want but it is there in the fine print. However, we do agree with the users that companies should be more up front about this when you agree to join.

Despite the high fee for early cancellation, some users have pointed out that it is actually mentioned in Adobe’s terms of service agreement when a user agrees to purchase a subscription.

Under the “cancellation terms” on Adobe's website, they state that a user is free to cancel their subscription anytime via the Adobe Account page or by contacting Customer Support and a full refund will be process if it's within a two-week window.

“If you cancel within 14 days of your initial order, you’ll be fully refunded. Should you cancel after 14 days, your payment is non-refundable, and your service will continue until the end of that month’s billing period,” states the Adobe website.

However, it’s the annual contract that seems to be causing the most backlash as it they appear to have the highest fees. Under an annual subscription that’s paid monthly, Adobe states that if a user cancels within 14 days of their initial order, they will be fully refunded.

However, if they try to cancel after that period, they’ll be charged a lump sum amount of 50 per cent of their remaining contract obligation and that the subscription will continue under the end of that month’s billing period.
https://www.thenationalnews.com/arts-culture/why-is-adobe-trending-on-twitter-software-company-facing-cancellation-fee-backlash-1.1203095

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates! Good day!

My fair virtual congregation! You know we cannot take vacations right now, so I have been hulled up in my cathedral dormitory. What have I been doing with this free time you might ask? Well I have been watching some of the crazy shit that has been going on with our brothers and sisters on the right, because they have been upping the conspiracy theories and it’s getting nuttier and nuttier. My favorite example of pure, unfiltered crazy has been appearing on the Jim Bakker show. They have had some absolute doozies in the last few weeks. And that’s not something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now is it? There is some seriously next level crazy going on in some of these talk shows, but none and I repeat none are more crazy than what Jim Bakker has been peddling. I guess those end times gallon buckets of industrial grade mac and cheese aren’t going to sell themselves now, are they? But like I said this is some next level crazy here.

For years, right-wing pastor Jim Bakker has been using his daily television program to terrify his audience into believing that the End Times are upon us, often for the apparent purpose of selling them products designed to help them survive the apocalypse.

Bakker kicked things up a notch on Tuesday’s program, which featured right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle warning about aliens, demons, trans-dimensional beings, and “diseases that are designed to initiate cannibalism in human beings” and turn them into literal zombies.

The conspiracy theories promoted by Quayle were so pervasive and convoluted that it was difficult to understand exactly what he was even saying, but he seemed to be suggesting that nasal tests for COVID-19 were part of a nefarious plan to obtain DNA samples to be used in the creation of targeted biological weapons that will unleash a disease to turn everyone it does not kill into flesh-eating zombies.

“Zombies that are on the Earth are a disease like any other disease that affects people, and they become like zombies. Is that right?” Bakker asked.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jim-bakker-is-now-using-his-end-times-broadcast-to-warn-about-zombies/

I’m pretty sure that’s actual footage of the last episode now, isn’t it? Now if zombies weren’t enough to scare you into buying his end times products, maybe alien viruses will do the trick? And I’m of course not referring to the virus we’re currently dealing with. But yeah as far as crazy goes, this I think breaks the crazy scale. And GAWD commanded that we not deal with certifiably crazy people such as this for they are wicked and insane!

While televangelist Jim Bakker’s daily television program has always been a repository for misinformation, baseless conspiracy theories, and End Times fearmongering, his show has gotten decidedly stranger in recent days.

Earlier this week, Bakker interviewed right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle, who spent two programs warning about aliens, demons, trans-dimensional beings, and “diseases that are designed to initiate cannibalism in human beings” and turn them into literal zombies. On the heels of those programs, Bakker interviewed End Times conspiracy theorist Tom Horn, who warned that an asteroid will strike the Earth in 2029, unleashing an alien virus that will give rise to the Antichrist.

On Thursday’s program, Horn discussed his recent book, “The Wormwood Prophecy,” which claims that the government is covering up the fact that an asteroid known as Apophis will strike the Earth in 2029. While scientists say that Apophis will simply pass by our planet in 2029, Horn insists that it will actually strike the Earth and fulfill the prophecy in Revelation 8: “The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter.”

“I believe Apophis is the asteroid that is talked about in the book of Revelation, chapter eight,” Horn said. “It is what is called ‘Wormwood’ in the Bible.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/tom-horn-says-an-asteroid-will-strike-earth-in-2029-unleashing-an-alien-virus-that-will-give-rise-to-the-antichrist/

And I think these are all things that make people crazy right now! And come on, do we really need crazy theories about voter ID? I mean these theories that are peddled on this show are just getting crazier and weirder. During my week off, I was obsessed with watching the insanity that is the Jim Bakker Show, my fair virtual congregation! How does this guy still have an audience? There will always be crazies out there, but it seems they are getting even crazier!

Religious-right activist Alveda King appeared on “The Jim Bakker Show” Monday where she claimed that not requiring voters to show ID before casting their ballots is both “identity theft” and an effort to erase the identities of Black Americans.

“It’s just so hypocritical to say to a person, ‘It is Jim Crow to require that you have an ID when you go to vote,'” King said. “That’s called identity fraud, identity theft. When you say to me as an African American, ‘You do not need an ID, your identity does not matter, who cares who you are, just show up and vote,’ you are taking away my identity.”

‘During the days of Jim Crow,” she continued, “we knew it was important to be identified as equal citizens of the United States of America. So any law that says, ‘Oh, you don’t need a voter ID. Who needs an ID?’ Well, I have an identity. I know who I am in Christ Jesus. So it’s a double standard. … When you go to vote, nobody cares whether or not you are an equal citizen of the United States of America? That is identity theft. When you tell me, ‘Your ID is not important when you vote,’ you are telling me that my identity as a citizen of these United States is not relevant, it is not important.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alveda-king-claims-not-requiring-voter-id-is-identity-theft/

No it’s just the sound of people being out of their minds ridiculous. You know what else is driving people crazy? The previous guy! Yes, I refer to a man so awful, foul, repugnant and repulsive that his name dare not be spoken in my church! Even if we are broadcasting to you on Zoom! That’s right – the unholy, ungodly Dark One is rearing his ugly head again! So in context, Christians don’t riot! Although do I really need to point out in the Bible the times that they did? Yes everybody let’s riot! Whew, I really got to block this channel from my TV.

On Tuesday’s episode of his “The Jim Bakker Show” television program, End Times pastor Jim Bakker and his guest, End Times author Jonathan Cahn, insisted that Christians had nothing to do with the Jan. 6 insurrection in Washington, D.C., when supporters of then-President Donald Trump stormed the U.S. Capitol in an effort to prevent Congress from certifying the election for Joe Biden.

Bakker and Cahn insisted that even though Christians played no role in the chaos at the Capitol, left-wing activists are nonetheless trying to use the event to justify shutting down churches and persecuting believers.

“I still don’t understand all of that,” Bakker said. “Christians don’t burn buildings down. Christians don’t riot. They just don’t. I’m talking about born-again Christians, biblical Christians.”

That is an interesting statement coming from Bakker, considering that just three months before the election, Bakker himself warned that if Trump lost the election, Christians would start a revolution.

“We’ve got a few more days to stand up,” Bakker said in August 2020. “It’s going to be too late after the election, I believe. I think if we elect the wrong people—and you see how wrong it’s been—we’re gonna have a revolution. The church people are going to march in the streets.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/in-the-wake-of-the-maga-insurrection-jim-bakker-now-insists-that-christians-dont-riot/

Whew, there we go folks! I think I’ve reached that stage of quarantine where boredom is taking me strange places! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Gay Bachelor
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You know I’m completely shocked that in 25 seasons of The Bachelor that this has never happened in the show’s history. And you’d think that, given the fact that contestants on that show go through a stricter vetting process than we have with our SCOTUS justices… what? Do I really need to explain Brett Kavanaugh to you again? Yeah no creepy weird guy in the back of the virtual audience… OK moving on… but anyways if you watch the morning talk shows that’s literally all anyone is talking about right now. and you know what the technical term for that when someone keeps driving a talking point into the ground is, isn’t it? Oh wait, I know what the term is… something about a dead horse… but that’s neither here nor there. But anyways yada yada yada, there’s a gay bachelor, but you probably already knew that.

Colton Underwood returned to TV on Wednesday morning for a revealing interview. The former Bachelor star, who led the 2019 season of the ABC reality dating franchise, said on Good Morning America that he is gay.

"Obviously, this year has been a lot for a lot of people, and it's probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they've been running from or what they've been putting off in their lives. For me, I've ran from myself for a long time; I've hated myself for a long time. And, I'm gay," he said during an exclusive sit-down with Robin Roberts for ABC News' GMA. "I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it. And the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know. I'm still nervous."

The conversation had been billed as a "deeply personal" interview, with Underwood saying only, "It's been a journey, for sure," in a brief Tuesday night teaser.

"Journey" is a common word used by the Bachelor and Bachelorette leads when describing the reality show experience for the ABC cameras. In sitting down with Roberts, Underwood shared the off-camera road that led him to Wednesday's announcement.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/bachelor-star-colton-underwood-comes-out-as-gay

Yeah probably. Now here’s where the fact that the Bachelor had a closeted gay man as its’ leading man is making the show look horrible. But here’s the thing – times are changing guys, and relationships are no longer limited to male and female. At least the good thing is that this hasn’t seemed to affect the people who still watch this show for some reason. They’re actually uniting behind their guy. So that’s a good thing!

Bachelor Nation sticks together. After Colton Underwood came out as gay during an emotional interview on Good Morning America, supportive messages from past contestants on the ABC franchise came pouring in.

Underwood, 29, opened up about his sexuality in a conversation with Robin Roberts, which aired on Wednesday, April 14. “This year’s been a lot for a lot of people and it’s probably made a lot of people look at themselves in the year and figure out who they are,” he said. “I’ve ran from myself for a long time, I’ve hated myself for a long time. I’m gay. I came to terms with that earlier this year, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know. … I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. That means the world to me.”

The Indiana native previously competed on Becca Kufrin‘s season 14 of The Bachelorette in 2018 before being named the lead of season 23 of The Bachelor the following year. In his 2020 memoir, The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV, Underwood remembered his dad, Scott Underwood, discovering that he might have been questioning his sexuality.

“He’d pulled up the history of recent Google searches, which included gay porn sites and a variety of questions: Am I gay? How do you know if you’re gay? Why don’t I like having sex with my girlfriend?” Colton wrote. “At first, I denied responsibility. Then I owned up to having been curious. He asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, explaining that I’d figured things out on my own. I begged him not to tell Mom. I’m sure he did. But neither of them ever spoke about it with me. All that research, though, led me to understand that I was definitely attracted to girls.”
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/colton-underwood-comes-out-as-gay-bachelor-nation-sends-support/hannah-brown-32/

I’ll admit I don’t know how this sort of thing works, but I am pretty sure that if you’re actively looking for gay porn online, wouldn’t you already know the answer to that question? So now here’s what is happening is that fans are actually demanding a Gay Bachelor season! And why not? Seems like a logical thing to do. They’ve had Straight Bachelor for the last 25 seasons, maybe it’s time for a fresh outtake on the subject! Gay people need love and partners too, and now that gay marriage has pretty much been universally accepted, why not try it?

On Wednesday, former Bachelor Colton Underwood sat down for an intimate, revealing interview with Good Morning America to get something big off his chest.

“I’m gay,” he told anchor Robin Roberts, shaken though visibly relieved. “I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it … I ran from myself for a long time,” he said. Now, he feels “the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life”.

I’m hesitant to frame Underwood’s coming out as some kind of significant “gay first”, given how such narratives often end up portraying LGBTQ+ people as new, as if we haven’t been here the whole time. “The media that make us visible simultaneously obscure our presence in history by continually framing trans people [and, in this instance with Underwood, gay people] as new, as a modern, medicalized phenomenon only now coming to light,” writer and artist Morgan M Page wrote in 2017. And being “the media” in this scenario, I, uh, don’t want to do that!

That said, this is kind of a big deal in the Bachelor-verse, which didn’t even feature an openly queer person until bisexual contestant Jaimi King in 2017. Other contestants have, similar to Underwood, publicly come out after filming wrapped.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/apr/15/its-time-for-an-actually-gay-season-of-the-bachelor-already

Good question! But how did Mr. Underwood manage to undo 25 years of the Bachelor’s reputation and make the show look bad? Well I will answer that and you’re not going to like it: It’s a fucking reality show, they’re made to look bad by design! That said since we’re always on the forefront of the entertainment industry we’ll keep an eye out on this subject. Here’s the thing – the show was centered on him being a virgin, that is going to bite the producers in the ass hard! Just, seriously… stop watching this crap, we beg you! This is one of those cases where it’s best to just let people be people. It’s definitely time for a fresh take on this concept.

Colton Underwood, the titular leading man on the 23rd season of The Bachelor, came out as gay on Good Morning America on Wednesday, stunning Bachelor Nation, as our sorry lot refer to ourselves. He’s also reportedly “weeks” into filming a Netflix reality show about his coming out; Gus Kenworthy will appear. Most fans have received the news with shock, but speaking as the gay son of a Southern pastor, my reaction was a little different: I am in fact completely unsurprised that a conservative Catholic former NFL player would go on a nationally televised heterosexual dating show simply to convince himself he’s straight. And now that I’ve rewatched parts of his season, I’m starting to wonder how we never noticed in the first place.

What a season it was. Colton’s narrative from the beginning of his Bachelordom—and in his stint on Becca’s season of The Bachelorette—centered on his virginity. It was a constant talking point that cropped up in conversations with all of the women he pursued, and even became a way for the show to sell itself. Chris Harrison, the series’ longtime host, teased the season by saying that viewers were in for a dramatic season because Colton “just might lose something along the way.”

Yikes! Indeed, Underwood’s virginity was used by ABC to hook the wide swath of conservative viewers that continues to drive the show’s high ratings, and producers framed his sexual inexperience as a noble quality, rather than a signal that something was a little off. Yes, there are plenty of perfectly normal virginal men in their late 20s, but not many who parlay an NFL gig into a berth in the reality swamp, and The Bachelor—which has long had deeply weird issues with sex—couldn’t get enough. If it all made you a little queasy then, it’s downright hard to watch now, when it’s so clear Underwood became convinced virginity was a way to sell his heterosexuality even to himself. Sometimes the things we say loudest are the things we’re lying about the most, and who among us once-closeted homosexuals hasn’t vocally proclaimed his heterosexuality in front of an entire summer theater program in high school? Underwood simply did his version with 30 women—and, uh, several million viewers.
https://slate.com/culture/2021/04/colton-underwood-gay-the-bachelor-comes-out.html

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[font size="8"]Good Luck With That
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Welcome to our brand new feature, Good Luck With That! It’s the segment where we tell conservatives who attempt to take on the establishment – whether it’s big tech, big retail, big sports, or big media with their own version of that thing, we know that it’s most likely doomed to fail. So to that we say… “Good Luck With That!”. This week we turn the spotlight to Mike Lindell. You know him as the scrappy self-made millionaire and former drug addict who founded the internet pillow sensation known as “My Pillow”. Which of course got pulled from every major retailer who cares about its’ public image (and profit margins) after his role in the January 6th attempted insurrection of the Capitol. Well this week, Mr. Lindell is launching his own version of a social media app, called FRANK, and well, that seems to be going well so far.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell's new "free speech" social media site will limit certain words, such as curse words and using the Lord's name in vain, the founder says.

"You won't be able to use four words: the c-word, the n-word, the f-word, and God’s name in vain. You won't be able to type that in," Lindell explained an interview on "The Ledger Report" podcast this week.

He also indicated that the site would limit threats of violence.

Lindell, a staunch ally of former President Trump, is set to debut his new site called Frank early next week. The slogan for the site is "Begin Speaking Freely With Frank."

"Everyone is going to be able to talk freely," Lindell told conservative host Graham Ledger on the podcast.

"When you come over now you are going to be able to speak out and have opinions," he added.
https://thehill.com/homenews/news/548791-mypillow-ceo-mike-lindells-new-app-bans-using-lords-name-in-vain

Now that’s just the kind of thing that won’t be allowed on FRANK. And by the way, the launch of FRANK is proving that he is a man who knows how to handle his websites. But as you might be able to guess, the launch has been a complete disaster so far. In fact it’s such a disaster that the users and celebrities who are gunning for the site’s VIP status – similar to the way Twitter verifies users, they are having trouble getting access.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell's new social media platform failed to launch for the second time in a week, with users unable to sign up on Monday.

On Friday last week, followers of the Donald Trump-supporting businessman were left confused and frustrated after a teased "VIP access" failed to take place. Lindell assured fans that they would be able to join up when the website launched on April 19.

But the Monday rollout quickly turned into a mess, with the platform constantly crashing and users unable to create accounts or access the homepage. On social media, Lindell suggested without evidence that the website was being hit with a cyberattack.

He wrote on his Telegram page: "FrankSpeech.com is having a massive attack against it currently. We are working to get it up ASAP! Thank you for your patience."
https://www.newsweek.com/mike-lindell-frank-social-media-launch-1584656

And to further why he’s the feature on our new feature “Good Luck With That”, Mr. Lindell is also taking on… Amazon! That’s right – in addition to taking on what conservatives have been referring to as “big tech”, Mike Lindell is also taking on Big Retail! And yes, with as much as the FRANK site is getting off to a ripping start, we expect My Store to go about as well as FRANK. Though if you’re seeing this you’re probably waiting for the fail as much as we are.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell on Monday announced that he's launching "MyStore," an online marketplace for entrepreneurs that will rival Amazon, the largest global internet-based store.

Speaking on Steve Bannon's War Room: Pandemic, Lindell said, "I'm looking at another thing we're going to be launching, which is MyStore, which is a rival to Amazon."

Currently, a version of MyStore is on the MyPillow website, featuring a range of patriotic and miscellaneous products, including "Freedom Flags," "Freedom Coffee," "USA Flag Pole," and conservative books about former President Donald Trump.

Lindell boasted that his online store will include a range of products from "entrepreneurs and investors" in a video shared on the site.

"For years entrepreneurs and inventors have come to me with products and ideas. They don't know how to market them and I haven't had the time to show them. And now today, I am proud to announce this platform called MyStore.com," he said in the clip. "I am going to put vetted products from great entrepreneurs on here, like you see a sampling of them here today, that are going to change this country."
https://www.newsweek.com/mypillow-ceo-mike-lindell-announces-hes-launching-mystore-patriotic-rival-amazon-1583037

Seriously… Steve Bannon has a show? And people actually listen to it? Meanwhile I’m doing this thing in the back room of an empty Burbank comedy club with no air conditioning and a blue void to remind us of the fact that we have no audiences because of a raging pandemic? I might have to have a talk with my producer on this one. Getting back to the point, you might be asking – where is Mr. Lindell getting the money to accomplish all of this? Well, we might have Dominion Voting Systems to thank for this. But again this falls under “Good Luck With That!”.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell announced Monday that his company filed a $1.6 billion lawsuit against Dominion Voting Systems, the election-technology firm currently suing the pillow magnate and his business for defamation.

“This is a free-speech case. This is a First Amendment case,” Lindell said on a livestreamed broadcast.

Dominion in February accused MyPillow and Lindell, a loyal supporter of former President Donald Trump, of falsely spreading the claim that the company rigged the 2020 election for President Joe Biden by manipulating votes. Trump’s campaign and his allies lost dozens of lawsuits aiming to overturn key states’ election results.

Dominion is requesting more than $1.3 billion in punitive and compensatory damages, saying the “viral disinformation campaign” spread by Lindell and others has “irreparably damaged” the company’s reputation. Dominion has filed similar lawsuits against Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani, attorney Sidney Powell and Fox News.
https://www.cnbc.com/2021/04/19/mypillow-files-1point6-billion-suit-to-counter-dominion-defamation-case.html

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone! I don’t know about you but I could really use a drink!

Of course you know the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because booze and politics don’t mix, much like olive oil and balsamic vinegar. But this week we’re actually going to break that rule. Because celebrities are running for office! And that doesn’t matter whether it’s Caitlyn Jenner running for governor of California, or Matthew McConaghey running for governor of Texas, or Dwayne The Rock Johnson running for president of the United States… wait, what? That’s right you heard me! So tell me, virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about celebrity politicians? Aviator gin? Isn’t that owned by Ryan Reynolds? OK… Francis Ford Coppola Wine? OK.. Heaven’s Door whiskey? Owned by Bob Dylan? All right who’s been screwing with the virtual bartender? I really need my real audience back, and a real bartender. I’ll just have my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. Anyway there’s lots of celebrity politicians running but one sits at the top.

Dwayne Johnson has just shown some support for a poll that indicates 46% of Americans would support him running for U.S. president. In 2016, Johnson spoke on the possibility of running for president, citing the chance to affect global change as being an alluring reason to take on the role. Following Donald Trump's election to the highest office in the land five years ago, Johnson said that he couldn't count out an eventual presidential campaign of his own.

In 2000, Johnson spoke at the National Republican Convention. In 2016 he was a registered Republican, but in 2020, he endorsed Democrat Joe Biden's presidential campaign in an election that resulted in Biden being elected president. In the trailer for his new show, Young Rock, the titular character runs for president in 2032. This past February, Johnson said that he'd run for president if people wanted him to do so.

Earlier this week, Johnson used his Instagram account to upload a screenshot of a Newsweek article about a poll conducted by Piplsay that purportedly indicates that 46% of Americans would support him running for president. In the caption for the post, he takes a moment to express his gratitude:

According to the poll, 39% of Americans think Hollywood stars can make good politicians, provided they've got the political aptitude. Other results showed that 30% of Americans would like to see Angelina Jolie run for president. Another 22% of voters would rather Tom Hanks run for the position. Either way, it seems like a good amount of people are open to celebs running for office in one capacity or another.
https://screenrant.com/dwayne-johnson-us-president-american-fan-support/

Oh come on!!!! 39% percent of Americans think Hollywood stars can make good politicians? I mean have we learned nothing from the previous administration? Or Schwarzenegger? Or Jesse Ventura? Or Reagan? You know the saying – “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 700 times… shame on me!”. But the Rock isn’t the only A list celebrity thinking of throwing his or her hat into the ring. There’s also Matthew McConaughey for governor of Texas? I mean really?

A new poll may put some wind in the actor Matthew McConaughey’s sails as he considers whether to run for governor of Texas.

Forty-five percent of the state’s voters said that they would vote for Mr. McConaughey if he were to challenge Gov. Greg Abbott next year, according to the poll, conducted by The Dallas Morning News and the University of Texas, Tyler.

An additional 33 percent of voters said they would support the incumbent, while 22 percent said that at this early stage, they would prefer to choose someone else.

But such highly theoretical questions can sometimes produce wonky results, especially this far in advance of any actual campaigning. That’s doubly true when the hypothetical involves a figure with name recognition as high as Mr. McConaughey’s, particularly in his home state.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/us/matthew-mcconaughey-texas-governor.html

Yeah I’m going to need more of that! OK so there’s the Rock, and there’s Matthew McConaughey in Texas. What’s behind door #3 you might ask? Well you know that my home state of California is in the middle of a messy recall effort against Gavin Newsom, fueled by white supremacists and rabid Trump fans. But who have they got to replace him? Unless they have a celebrity at the ready, which they did in 2008, they won’t unseat Newsom. Unless…

Caitlyn Jenner said she will “decide soon” whether she will run for California governor.

On Sunday, the former reality TV star and decorated Olympic athlete responded to tweets regarding her political ambitions.

Inside California Politics covered Jenner’s stance and her alleged fundraising contracts for the potential campaign run.
Inside the Bullpen: Could Caitlyn Jenner join the recall?

Axios reported that Jenner was coordinating with longtime GOP fund raiser Caroline Wren, who previously worked for a joint fundraising committee for former President Donald Trump’s 2020 campaign.

But Jenner said the news wasn’t true.

“#FakeNews show me the contracts,” she responded.
https://www.kron4.com/news/caitlyn-jenner-to-decide-soon-whether-shes-running-for-california-governor/

Oh come on!!! There’s no mistake – the GOP is in serious need of name brand recognition. Which it had under Trump, though Trump got rejected for a guy named Joe Biden. So now the GOP is in a scramble to rebrand itself, after the ejection of Trump and the death of Rush Limbaugh, and let’s just say it’s not going well. But here’s the thing – no matter who’s running, make no mistake that Americans can’t resist a celebrity politician with name brand recognition.

Are Americans in favor of the celebrity politician post-Trump? Seems like it, according to recent polling. The consumer research platform Piplsay found earlier this week that 58 percent of respondents said they would like to see one or both of the actors Matthew McConaughey and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson launch bids for the Texas governorship and U.S. presidency, respectively. (Of course, the poll isn’t perfect — lumping answers about two different actors’ potential political aspirations under one question is not a good use of polling.) Other actors who people believed might make good future presidents included Angelina Jolie, Will Smith and Tom Hanks.

Johnson even recently teased a run for higher office, but perhaps it’s McConaughey we should pay closer attention to. The Austin-based actor has said — at least twice — that he’s “seriously considering” a run for Texas governor, though his politics are unclear. And earlier this week, it was reported that at least one more celebrity was considering tossing her hat into the ring: Former reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner was said to be talking with political consultants as she contemplates a run for California governor amid Gov. Gavin Newsom’s likely recall election.

But how seriously should we take celebrities who express a desire to run for political office? And how likely is it that they actually win, especially if they’re up against seasoned politicians?

Well, if history tells us anything, former President Donald Trump was not an anomaly. Former Minnesota Sen. Al Franken, who resigned over sexual misconduct allegations in 2018, was a writer and actor on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” for nearly two decades. And Austrian actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used to be an action movie star before he successfully ran for California governor. Former President Ronald Reagan also was an actor.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-americans-cant-resist-a-celebrity-political-candidate/

[font size="8"]Stupidest State
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16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back everybody! After a really exciting round 1 full of ups and downs we’re back for Round 2 and the Conference Championships! We’re only four rounds away from the Final Four and the Stupidest State Championship. Which of these states will take the crown? In the Gun Nut Conference – it’s #1 Texas against #3 Idaho! And in the Family Values Conference, #1 Indiana takes on #4 Arkansas! Over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference - #2 Wyoming takes on #3 Nevada! And finally over in the Batshit Conference, #1 Georgia takes on #4 Michigan! There’s some exciting matchups here and we can’t wait to see the outcome! This week it’s the Gun Nut Conference – Texas vs Idaho, who has enough ammunition and firepower needed to take the other one out? We shall see who will move on and who will stay home! Yeah it’s probably a bad week to talk about guns but fuck it, here we go!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Conference Championships: Texas Vs Idaho [/font]

[font size="2"]Texas [/font]

Holy shit Texas’ gun credentials are strong! Even beings from other worlds know that Texas is the gun capitol of the world! That was a throw away joke in Thor: Ragnarok where Skurge shows the ladies the giant assault rifles that he bought while he was on Midguard in a place called "Texas". But there’s something that our two contestants have in this round in common – both states are vying to be sanctuary states for gun rights! Yes, this is a fucking thing that conservatives are foisting upon us! So in a country where we want more gun laws, states like Texas actually want fewer! So let’s find out what that means.

Gov. Greg Abbott is vowing to make Texas a “2nd Amendment Sanctuary State” after President Joe Biden announced new executive actions on ghost guns Thursday.

Abbott sounded off on Twitter, saying “Biden is threatening our 2nd Amendment rights. He just announced a new liberal power grab to take away our guns. We will NOT allow this in TX. It’s time to get legislation making TX a 2nd Amendment Sanctuary State passed and to my desk for signing.”

“The outcome for a bill like this would almost inevitably be a challenge in court,” said Jim Henson, Executive Director of The Texas Politics Project. “It’s hard not to see this as part of an effort to test the boundaries at how much states can push back against federal and constitutional provisions.”

Biden’s actions focus on the regulation of “ghost guns” or homemade firearms put together from parts purchased online or at gun shows. Oftentimes, ghost guns lack serial numbers used to track most firearms, according to NewsNation. The Justice Department is expected to issue a proposed rule to rein in ghost guns within 30 days.
https://www.kxan.com/news/texas-politics/abbott-vows-to-make-texas-a-2nd-amendment-sanctuary-state-in-response-to-biden-gun-plan/

So flying in the face of all convention and moral wisdom, Texas is literally giving the middle finger to pro-gun activists all over the country and saying “your laws don’t apply here! ‘Murica!!!”. And Texas gun laws put your states’ gun laws to shame. They have something like 10,000 pieces of pro-gun legislation in the works. That is fucking insane! And in an era where we have mass shooting after mass shooting after mass shooting, Texas is still saying “fuck you” to anti-gun activists!

Governor Greg Abbott has recommitted himself to having as little gun control in Texas as possible even as the nation is rocked by two horrific mass shootings within a week of each other.

Last week in the Atlanta area in Georgia, the man who went on an eight-person killing spree targeting Asian-Americans had purchased the gun he used on the same day he began his massacre. There was no waiting period or mandatory safety class. His transaction likely took no longer than a trip through the Whataburger drive thru. Georgia is ranked Number 11 by Guns & Ammo for best states to buy guns (meaning fewest restrictions).

Famously, Cherokee County Sheriff’s Capt. Jay Baker said that the shooter was having a “bad day.” It’s worth wondering if not allowing him to take home his gun during that particular bad day might have prevented Delaina Ashley Yaun, Xiaojie Tan, Daoyou Feng, Paul Andre Michels, Elcias R Hernandez-Ortiz, Hyun Jung Grant, Soon Chung Park, Suncha Kim, and Yong Ae Yue from being shot.
https://www.reformaustin.org/texas-legislature/push-to-make-texas-second-amendment-sanctuary-state-continues-amid-mass-shootings/

Yeah that’s probably the right reaction to that. So what would happen if Texas told the Biden Administration to fuck off when it comes to gun rights? It’s what one would easily describe as a “clusterfuck”. I mean come on, do we really need more gun rights? I swear in this country, guns have more rights than the people who are getting shot do!

Texas could soon join the ranks of a small, but growing, club of states that have passed laws that designate them as second amendment “sanctuaries.”

On Tuesday, the State Affairs Committee in the Texas House approved House Bill 2622, which would prevent state resources to enforce any new federal restrictions on firearms and ammunition. The bill, titled the Second Amendment Sanctuary State Act, would prevent state officials from enforcing new federal gun ownership rules, such as firearm registries, licensing requirements and confiscation programs.

It mirrors legislation that previously passed in Alaska, Kansas, Idaho, Wyoming, and, most recently, Arizona.

“Basically, we’re freezing Texas state law and federal laws in place that have to do with guns,” said the bill’s author, Rep. Justin Holland, R-Rockwall. “And (we’re) not recognizing, at the state level, any federal changes.”
https://www.elpasotimes.com/story/news/2021/04/09/what-would-happen-if-texas-became-second-amendment-sanctuary-state/7146515002/

[font size="2"]Idaho [/font]

The Gem State is mostly a rural, small town America state. And you know what they say about those places – the residents there are packing some serious heat! In fact, just like Texas, Idaho is flying in the face of conventional wisdom and giving pro-gun activists a giant middle finger. We’re suspecting that this insane legislation is only going to get worse before it gets better, and it’s probably not going to end well. But here’s how Idaho is challenging Texas for the insane gun nut crowd.

Madison County is the latest county to declare itself as a Second Amendment sanctuary.

During the County Commissioner’s meeting on Monday, the county commissioners passed a resolution declaring the county as a Second Amendment sanctuary after speaking with Madison County Sheriff Rick Henry.

“We’re already a Second Amendment sanctuary,” Henry said. “The whole state is.”

Henry said the resolution just reinforces that the county supports the Second Amendment. Henry recommended that the commissioners pass the resolution. The commissioners held off on a decision about the resolution earlier in March to get input from the sheriff.

According to the resolution, the citizens of Madison County are opposed to any legislation that would infringe on their rights to bear arms or ban their possession and use of firearms, magazines, and firearm accessories.
https://www.bigcountrynewsconnection.com/news/state/idaho/madison-county-passes-second-amendment-sanctuary-resolution/article_f5cf103b-2f92-530c-ab88-6e2fa62ac0bb.html

Two questions: 1. Do you even know what the word “sanctuary” means? And two – you do realize that no one is challenging the second amendment right? I keep saying guns have more rights than people do in this country and it’s getting more ridiculous and absurd by the day, and it’s a shame that gun nuts are pulling this shit. But here’s what conservatives don’t realize – the idea of a “sanctuary city” is mostly symbolic and there’s no way this would hold up in court.

Nampa is the latest Idaho community to declare its intent to oppose any legislation and possibly defy any laws that may infringe upon Second Amendment gun rights.

The City Council voted unanimously for a resolution declaring Nampa a Second Amendment City. The resolution says in part, “The Mayor and City Council are opposed to any legislation that would infringe upon the right to keep and bear arms or ban the possession and use of any firearms now employed by the individual citizens of Nampa, for defense of life, liberty and property.”

Nampa joins Eagle and Star in the Treasure Valley in declaring opposition to such legislation and laws — though Nampa did not declare itself a “Second Amendment Sanctuary,” as Eagle and Star did.

Sanctuary status is largely symbolic. The term plays on liberal cities’ declarations of themselves as sanctuaries for undocumented immigrants, with restrictions on city police from enforcing federal immigration laws.
https://www.kivitv.com/news/what-we-are-all-about-idahos-3rd-largest-city-declares-itself-2nd-amendment-city

That’s not proper use of a firearm either. But Nampa isn’t the only Idaho city that is looking to become a sanctuary city for gun nuts. But with as popular and insane as these ideas are, there’s no way they could possibly pass muster. In fact even the state commissioners are not going to even see the light of day, probably. So once again, gun nuts talk loads of trash and they talk a big game, but in fact once the dust has been settled, once again, nothing gets done.

Although a handful of Idaho cities has adopted Second Amendment Sanctuary resolutions — and the city of Kamiah is now considering it — the Idaho County Commission on Tuesday turned down a suggestion that the county follow suit.

Commission Chairman Skip Brandt said during the commission’s regular weekly meeting that he had considered bringing up the issue a few years ago, but he changed his mind after the Idaho Legislature passed a law in 2014 — Senate Bill 1332 — making Idaho a Second Amendment Sanctuary entity.

“Idaho as a whole has already taken care of that,” Brandt said. “So I don’t know why we would want to double the effort.”

Idaho County Sheriff Doug Ulmer said he has fielded inquiries from people who would like to see the county become a Second Amendment Sanctuary.

“If we did it, I don’t know what it would harm,” Ulmer said, adding that he would defer to the commissioners’ decision
https://lmtribune.com/northwest/idaho-county-commission-not-pursuing-second-amendment-sanctuary-status/article_21410260-6b42-11eb-96cb-730c0c72cc5b.html

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Idaho is giving Texas a game here. But it’s been a wild back and forth with the clock now running around the 1:00 mark. Current score: 91 – 91. Texas has the ball and is attempting to run out the clock. 38 seconds left… Texas has it, they shoot… they score!!! Texas for 3! With no remaining timeouts Texas is going to run out the remaining 20 seconds! Texas wins! Final score 94 – 91! Idaho goes home! Texas wins the Gun Nut Conference!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

It’s Round 2 Week 2 which means it’s the Family Values Conference championships! It’s #1 Indiana vs #4 Arkansas. Will Arkansas pull off an upset or will Indiana hang onto advance to the Flyover League championship? Only time will tell!

See you next week!

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April 15, 2021

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-9: The Forwards Edition Repost Redux Reused Recycled Edition

Ed. Note: We decided to have some fun with April Fool’s Day when this edition originally premiered by running the entire edition completely backwards, starting with the end credits and ending with the opening monologue. For our week off on Spring Break, what follows is the original forwards edition as we originally intended to air. Enjoy!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-9: Rule 80: Don’t Invite The Former President To Your Wedding Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We’re still coming to you from this blank, blue void in the back room of a Burbank comedy club for the foreseeable future. Though this week because it’s that day, we are changing our blue background to whatever pops up on our Windows login screen. First it’s the city of Hong Kong, then it looks like a closeup of a grasshopper… and do we really need a Tucker reaction cam for this one? Come on! OK I brought this on myself.! People keep asking me where is the Wheel of Corruption? Well I assure you the wheel is safe and at some point we will be bringing it out of the vault. But it’s one of those things that requires audience participation. Though next week I might bring back some of our patented clips without context, because I’ve been missing those lately. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do. So I ask you this my fair audience - how is Chet Hanks related to his dad Tom? I mean Tom’s one of the greatest guys in the world. But then there’s Chet Hanks. We may have to explore this in a bit more detail next week because this video is certifiably insane. And I say this as a white male myself – do we really need more “white boy” culture? Is that where we are at in 2021? Look I know everyone including myself missed having a proper summer last year but we’ll get back to that this year. But this is definitely toxic Barstool Sports culture at its’ most toxic. I know he’s going after Megan Thee Stallion here, and I personally couldn’t give less of a shit, but since 2020 didn’t happen we have a lot of making up time, and come on, what’s worse than a rich, privileged white boy complaining that his “culture” isn’t being respected? I mean shit you might as well recite the 14 words while you’re at it. What? Suddenly that’s going too far? Yeah I know we’ve all been cooped up way too long! Fuck you COVID-19! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he goes into the subject of the National Debt:

So where do we begin this week? In the #1 spot this week is the governor of Georgia, Brian Kemp (1). In case you’re wondering whether or not Gov. Kemp is a psychopathic douchebag, just look at what he did to Georgia’s right to vote, and we expect this will go to SCOTUS relatively soon. Taking the second slot this week is the NRA (2). After yet *ANOTHER* mass shooting, this time at a Colorado grocery store, the NRA gets shot down (ha!) at the 9th Circuit level over concealed carry laws, dealing a huge blow to their otherwise already tarnished agenda. In the 3rd slot this week is our old buddy, former Twitter troll @realDonaldTrump (3) and he’s gone from playing in huge arenas to crashing weddings and it’s quite spectacular! In the 4th slot, on the somewhat lighter side of the news is the Suez Canal fail (4) over one of the world’s largest container ships getting stuck between the waters! Someone’s getting fired! In the 5th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, a shocking study found that just 12 people are responsible for nearly 75% of Facebook’s anti-vaxxer content and we are going to take a look behind the scenes at anti-vax propaganda! In the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) - rapper Lil’ Nas X released a line of Satan-themed sneakers containing a drop of human blood in them – and all 666 pairs sold out in less than 10 minutes! What does this mean for the future of devil worshipping? In the #7 slot this week, after a Southwest pilot gets caught saying some hateful things about liberals, cars, and coal rolling, we ask – “Coal Rolling: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the 8th slot this week is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner – Q Anon has some hot takes on the news and they’re getting nuttier and crazier, and it’s everything you expect from them! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new “I Need A Drink” and this week podcaster Jensen Karp made a shocking discovery after he bought a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at Costco and discovered shrimp tales in one of the bags! Not only that, the response from General Mills is some very cringe-worthy stuff! Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State! This week it’s Round 1 Week 3 and it’s a battle of Fiscal Irresponsibility heavyweights as #1 Kansas takes on red hot #2 Wyoming, while over in the Gun Nut Conference, #1 Texas takes on #2 Florida! This is going to be quite the epic battle! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Brian Kemp
[br] [/font] [br]

In all seriousness I’m about to ask this question – are republicans having a contest among themselves to see who can be the worst human being in the world? As if Georgia’s Brian Kemp is bad enough, there’s Nebraska’s Pete Ricketts, there’s South Dakota’s Kristi Noem, there’s Tate Reeves of Mississippi and of course Ron DeSantis of Florida. But really this is about Brian Kemp. And I say this with literally about as much seriousness as I possibly can muster – FUCK YOU, Brian Kemp. After Trump goes and screams voter fraud for four months while his cronies go and literally fling their feces at the Capitol, you attempt to make voting in this country that much harder. Meanwhile it’s really easy to buy a gun. Where are your priorities, man? Oh wait that’s right – I forgot! He doesn’t have any!

Civil rights groups on Tuesday said they have sued the state of Georgia over changes to voting laws enacted last week that they said make it harder for all Georgia residents to vote, particularly people of color.

In a joint press release Tuesday, the American Civil Liberties Union, the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, the Southern Poverty Law Center and law firms in the state said that the law was a direct response to the 2020 presidential election and Senate runoff election, where the state had record voter turnout and Democrats won the state. The groups are suing in federal court on behalf of a church and other community groups.

"The elections were celebrated not just for their turnout, but also for their integrity, with Georgia officials praising them as safe and secure," the release said. "But rather than act to expand participation in the political process, Georgia leaders responded by doing what they have done many times in the state's history: they placed burdensome, unjustified, and unnecessary restrictions on voters, particularly voters of color and other historically disenfranchised communities."
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/civil-rights-group-sue-georgia-voting-law/story?id=76775186

That is a jaw-dropping and stunning level of pure evil. The thing is, we had the election with the highest voter turnout in history and an election where you’d literally have greater odds of winning the Powerball than you would finding an actual case of real voter fraud in this country. And this is counting the ones made up in Sean Hannity’s head. But one things is for sure is that it has businesses and supporters scrambling to find support for Georgia after this, including the state’s largest employer!

Delta Airlines came out in strong opposition to Georgia’s recently passed voting law on Wednesday, with CEO Ed Bastian writing in a memo to employees that the law is “unacceptable and does not match Delta’s values.”

In the week since a sweeping package of election restrictions was signed into law by Republican Gov. Brian Kemp, activists have threatened to boycott Delta and other Atlanta-based companies, saying they didn't do enough to stop the law from being passed.

Delta’s statement,which the company shared with NBC News, is a forceful repudiation of the Georgia law — and similar efforts around the country.

“After having time to now fully understand all that is in the bill, coupled with discussions with leaders and employees in the Black community, it’s evident that the bill includes provisions that will make it harder for many underrepresented voters, particularly Black voters, to exercise their constitutional right to elect their representatives. That is wrong,” the memo reads.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/based-lie-delta-ceo-blasts-georgia-s-unacceptable-voting-law-n1262610

Oh sure now you walk back your statements! But only when it hits you in the one place you actually feel it – your wallet! Now that aside, with MLB players and fans petitioning the league to move the 2021 All Star Game out of Atlanta, to Disney fans petitioning Marvel to cease filming and production in the state of Georgia… it’s insane. And well deserved. But the shit hasn’t quite hit the fan yet but we will expecting it to in the next few weeks.

In light of Gov. Brian Kemp signing new voting legislation into law and calls to boycott Georgia-based companies, we are reaching out to some of the state's largest businesses to get their response to the new law.

The controversial law places new restrictions on voting by mail and greater legislative oversight of elections. It is facing legal challenges and gaining national attention, as the state continues to garner the political spotlight.

Opponents are using the term "Jim Crow 2.0" to describe the bill on social media, drawing on the legacy of the segregationist practices that systematically disenfranchised Black voters, among other things.

Activists are calling on boycotts of the Georgia-based companies, which could also threaten sporting events and the film industry.
https://www.11alive.com/article/news/politics/elections/georgia-companies-voting-law-boycott/85-c14a8dc5-d686-490d-9f68-16b48d2da9a6

But here’s the thing – before you get your underwear in a wad, make sure to read the whole articles before you start getting outraged, we can’t stress that enough. Yes, the Georgia voter laws are some of the most extreme we’ve seen in a century. But is it a return to the Jim Crow era? Maybe, maybe not, we don’t know! What it is though is a slap in the face to those of us who were responsible for voting during the pandemic, and even beyond when the pandemic is no longer a thing.

By passing one of the nation's most restrictive voting bills, Republican lawmakers in Georgia have forgotten a lesson from the past and are setting themselves up for defeat in the future.
The sweeping bill, signed into law Thursday by Republican Gov. Brian Kemp, imposes new voter identification requirements for absentee ballots, limits the use of ballot drop boxes and makes it a crime to approach voters in line to hand them food and water.

Kemp said the law allows Georgia to "take another step toward ensuring our elections are secure, accessible, and fair." Voting rights advocates, though, said it's a thinly disguised and racist attempt to suppress the Black vote.

"No one but Pee Wee Herman believed them when they talked about the 'integrity of the vote,'" says the Rev. Tim McDonald, an Atlanta-based pastor who founded the African American Ministers Leadership Council. His group created "Souls to the Polls," a get-out-the-vote movement among Black churches nationwide. Earlier versions of the Georgia elections bill would have virtually eliminated early Sunday voting, which is popular with Black voters.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/28/politics/voting-rights-georgia-souls-polls-blake/index.html

[font size="8"]The NRA
[br] [/font] [br]

Oh wrong intro, but that is a preview for next week – we are bringing back our favorite segment, Good Guys With Guns! So I guess now that COVID is slowly fading into the background, America can get back to the other virus that is killing people in ridiculously large numbers and sending the ones who survive to overloaded emergency rooms. Mass shootings! We’ve had two horrific ones in a week – one in Atlanta, and one in Colorado. And a near attempt in Atlanta as well! While all of that is going on, the NRA is attempting to overturn open carry laws and getting more guns into as many hands as possible. And this is coming from people who have tried to literally market firearms as fashion accessories! Seriously does the NRA think that we’re fucking dumb or do they really think that more guns is the answer? Oh who am I kidding! Of course they do!

The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that state governments can restrict people from openly carrying guns in public, effectively ending a person's right to bear arms outside of their home.

The court issued an en banc opinion in the case of Young vs. Hawaii over a lawsuit by a Hawaiian resident who argued that the restrictions set by the state on his ability to openly carry a firearm was against the Constitution.

A district court ruled against George Young but a three-judge panel of the 9th Circuit Court then decided in his favor. The latest development came from the full 11-member panel, or en banc.

The appeals court cited what they saw as a longstanding tradition in English and American law that government could prohibit "certain weapons from entering... public spaces as means of providing 'domestic Tranquility' and forestalling 'domestic Violence."
https://www.theblaze.com/news/9th-circuit-guns-open-carry v

Oh come on 9th circuit! What part of “SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!!!!” do you not understand? And by the way this comes at a time when a survey that was conducted says that Americans have very little faith in America’s gun laws and say that they won’t do anything to stop mass shootings. And last year’s riots in the wake of the death of George Floyd? Guess what? They caused a massive gun buying spree. And if you’re shocked by this, you’ve turned to the wrong fucking program!

The two mass shooting incidents inside a week this month have brought to the fore the deadly epidemic of gun violence and the Joe Biden administration has expressed a strong intent to bring in more laws or if necessary, move executive orders, to curb the menace. But will more laws be able to rein in the violence that claims several lives in America every year?

A new survey has given a hint which makes one less than optimistic. Taken in the wake of the mass killing at a grocery store in Boulder, Colorado, that saw 10 people killed, the survey says most American do not believe that more gun laws will be able to stop the shootings.

The survey, which was conducted on March 24 and 25, also included other questions like: “Does the United States need stricter gun control laws?” and “Would stricter gun control laws help prevent shootings like the recent ones in Atlanta, Georgia, and Boulder, Colorado?”

The survey, which covered 1,000 US likely voters, also revealed that 49 percent felt the country does not need more gun laws as against 46 percent that feel it does.
https://meaww.com/most-us-voters-have-little-faith-on-gun-control-laws-feel-they-wont-stop-shootings-new-poll

But here’s what makes this ruling even sweeter is that the appointees who overturned this ruling were during the Bush and Trump years! Oh my god! If they had that kind of influence on our voting laws, then maybe there is hope for America! I mean remember when it seemed like mass shooting after mass shooting turned America into a shithole country under Trump (see: Top 10 #4-8? Yeah let’s see them explain their way out of that one!

Hawaii gun advocates were dealt a blow Wednesday by a federal court ruling that upheld state laws regulating the open carry of firearms in public.

The decision stems from a 2012 case of a Big Island man who had been repeatedly denied an open carry permit. The majority of an 11-member panel of judges from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit ruled in favor of the state in the man’s latest legal challenge.

The 127-page majority decision, written by Judge Jay Bybee, is the most recent federal court ruling to declare that the right to bear arms, enshrined in the Second Amendment, is not absolute. The ruling comes at a time when other circuits are ruling differently, and also lands as the country experienced two mass shootings in the past few weeks — in Boulder, Colorado, and Atlanta, Georgia.

“Today’s ruling, joined by respected appellate judges across the ideological spectrum, is the latest reminder that arguments against reasonable, life-saving gun laws rarely hold up in the courtroom,” Eric Tirschwell, managing director of Everytown Law, a gun safety group that took part in the case, said in a statement.
https://www.civilbeat.org/2021/03/9th-circuit-upholds-hawaii-laws-on-open-carry-of-firearms/

Don’t worry gun nuts – we’re a long way from overturning the 2nd amendment and that will probably never happen in this country. We live in a country where guns literally have more rights than the people they kill do. But there is a bad side to this – while we may celebrate this minor victory in the war on guns, the war on packing heat is about to heat up! And by “heat up” we mean “expect SCOTUS to start reviewing gun related cases soon!”.

Mass shootings in Georgia and Colorado that left at least 18 people dead since last week are reigniting calls from gun control advocates for tighter restrictions on buying firearms and ammunition. But with Democrats in control of the federal government, gun rights advocates have been persuading Republican-run state legislatures to go the other way, making it easier to obtain and carry guns.

How are the politics of gun legislation playing out in the United States this year? Here’s the breakdown.
Biden says ‘we have to act’ after Colorado mass shooting, but prospects dim in divided Congress »
Prospects Mixed for Legislation

This month, the Democrat-controlled U.S. House of Representatives adopted measures to expand background checks to all gun purchases and expand the time to to vet people flagged in a nationwide background check system.

But to pass in the Senate, the support of every Democrat would be needed. And that’s not a sure thing.
https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/nation-world/ct-aud-nw-gun-control-explainer-20210323-xrzh65irizbojj5bpn4lwiueaa-story.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

So remember that movie Wedding Crashers? You know the tale of that movie – Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson play two enterprising bachelors whose social lives involve being uninvited guests of weddings of people who they don’t know. Well this is that in real life, and it involves the guy who was formerly the world’s biggest Twitter troll, Donald J. Trump. Yes, the guy who we inexplicably once called president and a guy who could attract giant arenas full of people, had the Spinal Tap treatment and now he’s reduced to being the main evening’s entertainment at weddings held at Mar-A-Shithole. So yeah that is a thing that happened. Of course in Florida where we can still have weddings, there was one at Mar-A-Shithole last week and of course he happened to show up.

One of the biggest wedding-related fears many people have is the prospect of a drunk guest grabbing the mic and, through slurred words, asking everyone to take their seats so they can just “say a couple of words,” tripping over the bandleader’s foot in the process and yelling, “Hey, man, watch where you’re going!” and then launching into a rambling, incoherent speech about how they and the bride were supposed to be together before the groom came along and stole her. Presumably fewer, if any, have ever worried about a former president of the United States wandering into their reception and giving a toast that involves ranting about how the election was stolen from him, in addition to his incomprehensible thoughts on the situation at the border and how he was going to make a beautiful deal with the Iranian government. Until now!

Moving forward, people will likely have the possibility in the back of their heads that Donald Trump might approach the dance floor while everyone is eating their salads to complain about no longer being president—or at least the ones who choose to host their affairs at his Palm Beach resort will.

Yes, according to video footage, on Saturday night, Trump made his way into a wedding reception being held at Mar-a-Lago and gave a toast that was less about the happy couple than it was about the ways he’s been wronged recently and why Joe Biden is doing a shitty job.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/03/donald-trump-mar-a-lago-wedding-speech

Let’s make this Rule 80: Don’t invite the former president to your wedding. Is there a rule 80? I am not sure it’s been a while since I have seen that movie. Though one thing though – if you’re crashing a wedding that Trump is also crashing, at least all the attention won’t be on you being there, and you can probably score some free drinks and hit on the bridesmaids. I mean come on that happens at every wedding does it not?

Donald Trump took the microphone at Mar-a-Lago on Saturday night, to praise a couple getting married at his Florida resort. Nearly 400 words later he did so, according to video published by the website TMZ, after a rambling complaint about Joe Biden’s policy towards Iran and China, the situation at the border with Mexico and the supposed fraud he claims caused his election defeat.

“Y’know,” the tuxedoed former president began, standing in front of a waiting band, “I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?

“Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ [and Iran replies], ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

Trump withdrew from the deal between Iran and leading powers meant to contain Tehran’s nuclear ambitions. Biden is seeking to re-engage.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/mar/29/donald-trump-wedding-speech-mar-a-lago

Yeah no, that speech does not deserve that kind of response! Instead it deserves the Looney Tunes style cane yanking Trump off the stage! And here’s the thing, asshole, no – we do not miss you! In fact that’s why we kicked your sorry ass out of office and impeached you twice! Seriously, have I mentioned how much I think Trump is a colossal asshole? No? Well it can’t be said enough, and I still stand by my claim that he does not make it to 2024.

Donald Trump turned up at a wedding at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida over the weekend and railed against Joe Biden, China and Iran.

The former president hopped on the mic at the ceremony and wasted little time in getting political.

He referenced the situation at the border with Mexico and raised yet more questions about November's presidential election, which he lost.

"Do you miss me yet?" he asked the party, to loud cheers.

"I get all these splash reports, and they're telling me about the border, they're telling me about China, they're telling me about Iran," Mr Trump began, in a video released by the entertainment website TMZ.
https://news.yahoo.com/trump-asks-wedding-party-miss-095958015.html

Yeah so seriously, fuck that guy. And I mean really right now if you book a wedding at Mar-A-Shithole, it should be expected that he’s going to show up. He’s got no social media outlets to project his outrage to the world so I guess he’s going to use events at Mar-A-Shithole now. There’s also his now weekly pity parties on Fox News to look forward to. Ugh, just like COVID, we may never get rid of Spongeblob.

Former President Donald Trump took the stage at a wedding reception at Mar-a-Lago to once again grieve his election loss and rail against Biden's foreign policy and border control.

Addressing guests in a tuxedo on Saturday night, Trump launched into his predictable baseless claim the 2020 election had been stolen from him while taking aim at the Biden administration and the situation in China and Iran, among other political concerns.

The 74-year-old was reportedly invited to the reception to toast the happy couple, but instead used the opportunity to air his personal grievances, a video obtained by TMZ reveals.

The couple, Megan Noderer and John Arrigo, are both longtime Trump friends and donors, according to Business Insider.
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-wedding-speech-transcript-mar-lago-1579396

[font size="8"]Ted Cruz
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So… our 46th president of the United States, Joseph R. Biden, is good. He’s too good. He’s doing his job instead of spending 56 hours a week watching TV and eating Big Macs in bed. He’s probably the first president we’ve had that could be considered “scandal-proof”. And when you’re now 70 days into the new presidency (and what seems like 70 years now, am I right?), and you don’t have a scandal to your name yet, what do you do? Well if you’re Fox News and you’re desperate for any kind of feces you can fling at the new president, you make one up! And that’s exactly what’s happening at the Mexican border – even though you can literally blame everything that’s happening now on the last guy (and that’s exactly what the last guy did). But this current “scandal” at the border is quite literally the stuff of insanity, led by – you guessed it – Ted Cruz. And I think we have actual footage of his trip to the border.

Sen. Ted Cruz posted a video of a woman he identified as a Biden administration staffer blocking him from recording at a migrant facility on Sunday.

Cruz and Sen. John Cornyn led a Senate delegation tour of the Texas-Mexico border last week in response to the immigration crisis surging.

"Please give dignity to the people. Please respect the people, the rules," the staffer can be heard telling Cruz while blocking his camera.

The woman in the video is a senior adviser who was hired two weeks ago, according to Cruz.

"Your policies are unfortunately trying to hide them. I understand that you were instructed," Cruz said. "I respect them. I want to fix this situation."
https://abc13.com/immigration-ted-cruz-at-texas-mexico-border-senate-delegation-tour-joe-biden-reform/10455073/

Excuse me a minute… that was actually footage of the Jungle Cruise ride from Disneyland. Here’s an actual picture of Ted Cruz’s trip to the border:

https://twitter.com/jeremynewberger/status/1375486233812549646

So is this the part of the Jungle Cruise where Ted gets mauled by a man-eating Cougar? I think I missed that part of the ride! Oh I kid, I kid! One thing I am not kidding about: them making the whole thing up, I mean where the hell were they three years ago? Oh that’s right they were blaming the whole thing on the last guy – Obama (see: Top 10 #5-2 ). And it gets weirder, my friends, because they literally make everything out to be that way!

Senator Ted Cruz posted a video Saturday of his attempt to film an immigration facility in Donna, Texas, while alleging that President Joe Biden's administration is keeping Americans from seeing what's unfolding at the Southern border. A woman can be heard pushing back against Cruz's filming, saying "this is not a zoo, sir," to which Cruz agreed and said it was a "dangerous place."

"How far is Joe Biden going to stop the American people from seeing inside the Donna CBP facility?" Cruz tweeted on Saturday, before alleging that "Biden sent a political operative from DC to block our cameras and even threatened another senator to obstruct legitimate congressional oversight."

In the video, the Texas Republican claims that a woman who works for the Biden administration was instructed to ask politicians visiting the border to not take any photos inside of immigration facilities.
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"You were instructed to ask us to not have any pictures taken here, because the political leadership at DHS [Department of Homeland Security] does not want the American people to know," Cruz says in the video. "You don't want the pictures taken. The rules are arbitrary, and they're designed to keep the American people in the dark."
https://www.newsweek.com/this-not-zoo-sir-ted-cruz-posts-video-his-attempt-film-border-facility-1579337

Uh… Sen. Cruz this is an Arby’s! But here’s my favorite part – when you’re a conservative and you’re turned away for attempting to “expose” someone, where do you go? Why you turn to your favorite outlet to complain on – Fox News! And that’s exactly what Teddy did when he was turned away attempting to film one of the camps. And again, I ask with all seriousness – where the hell were you 3 years ago when Trump was locking people away?

Ted Cruz is, once again, in the headlines. The Texas senator took a break from feuding with celebrities on Twitter to take another trip to Mexico. But this time around, Rafael Cruz wasn’t fleeing his state for a quick Cancun getaway.

This past weekend, Senator Cruz took a trip to the U.S./Mexico border along with 18 other Republican senators. Their mission, ostensibly, was to shine a light on what they deem to be a “border crisis”.

Surrounded by tall grass, Ted Cruz addresses the camera in hushed tones, much like he was hosting a nature documentary. “So it’s past midnight. I’m standing on the shore of the Rio Grande. I’m down at the Texas border along with 18 senators who made the trip to see the crisis that is playing out.”

In the grainy video, he continues: “On the other side of the river we have been listening to and seeing cartel members – human traffickers – right on the other side of the river waving flashlights, yelling and taunting Americans, taunting the border patrol.”
https://wearemitu.com/things-that-matter/ted-cruz-roasted-on-twitter-after-weird-border-crisis-video/

Again that’s not actual footage of Ted’s trip to the border, that’s footage from the Blair Witch Project, and you could probably interchange the two and no one would really notice. And by the way he wasn’t really taunted so much as he was asked to leave. If you really want to see taunting in action, I think the French castle guard from Monty Python & The Holy Grail is available!

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) complained on Fox News on Monday that he was taunted during a photo op at the U.S.-Mexico border last week.

In the footage from the trip, Cruz pointed into the bushes near the Rio Grande and spoke of unseen smugglers on the other side.

“Just a few minutes ago there were multiple smugglers on the other side who were shining flashlights at us, who were yelling at us, who were taunting us,” he said. “Who were taunting, I think they probably assumed we were Border Patrol, but they routinely taunt the Border Patrol.”

Cruz also complained in footage he posted on his Twitter feed last week about the “taunting.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-taunted_n_60629371c5b67593e05b880b

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates

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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

A war is being fought right now. But it’s not being fought with bullets. And it’s not being fought in a war zone. It’s being fought online. The battlefield is your social media feeds – Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The weapons aren’t guns and tanks. The weapons are memes, posts, and targeted advertising. The goal of this war? It’s to discredit use of vaccines. This comes at a time when the Centers For Disease Control has stressed the utter importance of the use of vaccines in order to end the COVID-19 pandemic. In fact the CDC themselves has said that anti-vaccination crusaders are becoming an inherent danger to society. So who is driving anti-vaccine content? Well it might surprise you to learn that only a very small handful of people are in control of most of Facebook’s anti-vaccine content. The media has dubbed these people the “Disinformation Dozen”.

About two-thirds of anti-vaccine content on major social media sites is tied to 12 prominent anti-vaccine leaders, according to a new report from the Center for Countering Digital Hate and Anti-Vax Watch.

The report calls on social media platforms to take action against the “disinformation dozen” during the ongoing vaccine.

“Disinformation has become a direct threat to public health,” Imran Ahmed, CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, said in a statement.

“In the midst of a global pandemic, the Anti-Vaccine Industry has executed a targeted campaign to mislead Americans about the safety of the COVID-19 vaccines,” he said. “Social media is enabling anti-vaxxers to recruit millions of Americans and indoctrinate them with fear and doubt.”

The Center for Countering Digital Hate and Anti-Vax Watch analyzed a sample of anti-vaccine content that had been shared or posted on Facebook and Twitter more than 812,000 times between Feb. 1 and March 16, 2021. They found that 65% of the content came from 12 accounts.
https://www.webmd.com/children/vaccines/news/20210325/disinformation-dozen-driving-anti-vaccine-content

So just like in real life, the trouble makers get around the rules and are able to flaunt disinformation and wild conspiracy theories online. And not only do they let the BS like this flourish, they plant seeds and watch it grow. And that’s why it’s not only become a public nuisance, but a threat to national public health and even national security! It’s time to start policing this content better, but we have learned the more you try to take it away, the more they go elsewhere.

With vaccination against COVID-19 in full swing, social platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter say they've stepped up their fight against misinformation that aims to undermine trust in the vaccines. But problems abound.

For years, the same platforms have allowed anti-vaccination propaganda to flourish, making it difficult to stamp out such sentiments now. And their efforts to weed out other types of COVID-19 misinformation — often with fact-checks, informational labels and other restrained measures, has been woefully slow.

Twitter, for instance, announced this month that it will remove dangerous falsehoods about vaccines, much the same way it's done for other COVID-related conspiracy theories and misinformation. But since April 2020, it has removed a grand total of 8,400 tweets spreading COVID-related misinformation — a tiny fraction of the avalanche of pandemic-related falsehoods tweeted out daily by popular users with millions of followers, critics say.

"While they fail to take action, lives are being lost," said Imran Ahmed, CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, a watchdog group. In December, the nonprofit found that 59 million accounts across social platforms follow peddlers of anti-vax propaganda — many of whom are immensely popular superspreaders of misinformation.
https://www.modernhealthcare.com/information-technology/defying-rules-anti-vaccine-accounts-thrive-social-media

And in case you’re wondering if the Disinformation Dozen is going away anytime soon, Facebook has been resisting calls to ban these people. But they haven’t. And not only are they not going away, they’re selling t-shirts. You can’t kill the beast because it will regroup just like the Terminator. Then the beast becomes much stronger and harder to kill. But the Disinformation Dozen needs to go away and they need to be held accountable.

When news broke last month that two elderly patients in Brisbane had been given an incorrect dose of the COVID-19 Pfizer vaccine, a motley assortment of Australian Facebook pages and groups swung into action.

Within minutes, a page with more than 52,000 followers had posted a screenshot of a news headline with superimposed text reading: "And the culling of old people begins".

Another page with more than 30,000 followers cast doubt on whether the dosage had been an accident (it had) and claimed the government had made the COVID vaccine mandatory for Australians (it had not).

The two posts were viewed by thousands, of which 2,600 interacted by liking, commenting or sharing. (None of the pages mentioned that the elderly patients showed no adverse reaction.)
https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2021-03-19/facebook-misinformation-covid-19-coronavirus-anti-vaccine/100015890

So what is Facebook doing about the Disinformation Dozen? Well as you can imagine they are quite literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. Instead of just flat-out banning them, Facebook is doing to anti-vaxxer posts what Twitter did to posts coming from @realDonaldTrump. Since they can’t effectively police the content, they are putting warning posts. So yes if they say you’ve been warned, take that literally.

Facebook is adding informational labels to posts about vaccines as it expands efforts to counter COVID-19-related misinformation flourishing on its platforms.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg said in a blog post Monday that labels will contain “credible information” about the vaccines from the World Health Organization. They will be in English and five other languages, with more languages added in coming weeks.

“For example, we’re adding a label on posts that discuss the safety of COVID-19 vaccines that notes COVID-19 vaccines go through tests for safety and effectiveness before they’re approved,” Zuckerberg said.

The social network is also adding a tool to help get users vaccinated by connecting them to information about where and when they can get their shot.

Facebook and Instagram have been criticized for allowing anti-vaccination propaganda to spread and for being woefully slow in weeding out the misinformation, often with fact-checks, labels and other restrained measures.
https://ktla.com/news/nationworld/facebook-to-start-labeling-vaccine-posts-to-combat-misinformation/

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

My fair virtual congregation! You know… they say that SAYTAN gets a bad rap these days and why wouldn’t he? I mean he is the LAWRD of darkness and the ruler of all things that are awful and horrible in this world. And he was also in charge of the White House from the years 2016 – 2020, but that’s neither here nor there. I had something very different planned for this week but we’ll save that for another sermon. Instead this week, we have to talk about Satanic Shoes. Yes, these are apparently a thing that my elders have told me exists! And they were marketed and sold by rapper Lil Nas X, who is a 20 year old gay black man who loves to troll right wing Christian fundamentalists, which is something that we highly encourage here. But I can only speak for me. Let’s let these insane shoes speak for themselves!

Rapper and singer Lil Nas X launched a controversial pair of "Satan Shoes" featuring a bronze pentagram, an inverted cross and a drop of real human blood -- and they sold out almost immediately.

The black and red sneakers, part of a collaboration between Lil Nas X and New York-based art collective MSCHF, were made using Nike Air Max 97s, though the sportswear brand has distanced itself from the design.

In an emailed statement to CNN, Nike said it was not involved in creating the modified sneakers. "We do not have a relationship with Lil Nas or MSCHF," the company said. "Nike did not design or release these shoes and we do not endorse them."

MSCHF confirmed March 29 that the limited-edition "drop" of 666 pairs sold out in less than a minute.

They were priced at $1,018 a pair, a reference to the Bible passage Luke 10:18 that reads: "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven." Each shoe's air bubble sole contains 60 cubic centimeters (2.03 fluid ounces) of red ink and "one drop" of human blood, according to MSCHF.
https://abc7news.com/lil-nas-shoe-satan-human-blood-x-shoes/10456877/

Now in this case, he actually does! Literally in fact! Because if you walk on a pair of these shoes, you are literally walking on SAYTAN himself! Now what’s symbolic about selling Satan themed sneakers out of 666 pairs each containing drops of human blood in them, you might ask? Well there’s a whole lot of symbolism and it’s easy to get lost in it. We here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 of course will take this time to remind you that we’re on the side of GAWD and JAYSUS!

Over the past few days, a tumultuous discourse around the musician Lil Nas X has reached a fever pitch regarding two things: the lap dance he gives the devil in his new music video “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” and his sale of “Satan Shoes,” which allegedly have a drop of human blood in them. On those two topics, Lil Nas has drawn unsolicited commentary from everyone from South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem to basketball player Nick Young to conservative commentator Candace Owens.

At the same time, the video has drawn praise, and not just among those celebrating its proud embrace of LGBTQ imagery and themes. Another contingent has also excitedly rallied around the music video: historical scholars. “Montero,” across its three-minute runtime, is stuffed with Greco-Roman and medieval Christian motifs and messages in both Greek and Latin. Lil Nas, in an interview with TIME, says he wanted to deploy this type of iconography and symbolism to draw a connection between ancient and modern-day persecution. “I wanted to use these things that have been around for so long to tell my own story, and the story of so many other people in the community—or people who have been outcast in general through history,” he says. “It’s the same thing over and over.”

And scholars have come away impressed by the video’s attention to detail and conceptual sharpness; they say it is deeply researched and builds a powerful historical narrative that centers queerness in historical and religious spaces where it is too often erased. “Watching this video, I was a little bit shocked just because of how much knowledge you need to have to unpack some of these elements,” Roland Betancourt, a professor at University of California, Irvine and the author of Byzantine Intersectionality: Sexuality, Gender, and Race in the Middle Ages, says. “It says that institutionalization of homophobia is a learned thing—and that there are other origin myths available to us that are not rooted in those ideas.”
https://time.com/5951024/lil-nas-x-montero-video-symbolism-explained/

Yes, you mere mortals! You will silence your faith in the presence of the almighty SAYTAN! But who is the real SAYTAN in this case? Is it the guy who is selling the sneakers or is it the giant corporation who thinks they are taking advantage of them? Well if I am playing devil’s advocate here (HA!) then I would say it’s more the latter than the former. Especially when the latter is suing the former for copyright infringement. Yeah you can sell SAYTAN themed sneakers, just expect to get hit with a lawsuit when you do!

Nike filed a lawsuit on Monday against the company selling the Lil Nas X "Satan Shoes," arguing the swoosh on the controversial shoe violates its trademark and damages its brand. The lawsuit comes the same day as the release of the shoes, which feature a bronze pentagram, the number "666" and a small amount of human blood.

The shoes, a collaboration between Lil Nas X and the New York-based art collective MSCHF, are modified versions of Nike Air Max 97s — and the brand's signature swoosh is featured prominently on the side of the shoe and on its tongue. The shoes, which sold out in minutes, cost $1,018 — a reference to the Bible passage Luke 10:18, which reads "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven."

The shoes' satanic imagery drew strong reactions online — including from South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, who shared an image of the shoes alongside a warning that "we are in a fight for the soul of our nation."

Nike referenced that controversy in its lawsuit, which asks the court to force MSCHF to stop producing the shoes and to award monetary damages for the financial harm the company has suffered.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nike-sues-lil-nas-x-satan-shoes-lawsuit/

Oh now lighten up Gov. Noem! Not everything needs to be taken that seriously! This comes at a time when the Church of SAYTAN is attempting to gain acceptance. I mean come on, you literally worship the devil here. But in spite of everything those who worship the DEVIL are actively having a sense of humor about themselves. And I know, when you take the LAWRD of Darkness seriously, you got to have a good laugh at the situation, am I right?

As Lil Nas X’s limited-edition “Satan Shoes”, which contain a drop of real human blood, continue to spark intense backlash among conservatives and religious figures, one church has championed the sneakers.

The rapper released 666 pairs of the controversial shoes on 29 March to celebrate the debut of his new song and accompanying music video for Montero (Call Me By Your Name), which portrays the 21-year-old travelling to hell, where he dances with the devil.

Since the release, the sneakers, which were made from Nike Air Max 97s and feature a bronze pentagram, the number 666, and Bible verse Luke 10:18, which reads: “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven,” have been widely condemned by everyone from South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem to Nike, which has filed a lawsuit against the company behind the shoes, New York-based art collective MSCHF.

However, one organisation has publicly supported the new endeavour, the Church of Satan, which believes in “humanistic values” and “the acceptance of man’s true nature,” rather than religion or spirituality, and which tweeted to the rapper asking for a pair of the sneakers shortly after they were unveiled.
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/lil-nas-x-satan-shoes-b1824529.html

Well Nike may not endorse these sneakers, but the Church Of SAYTAN does, and I’ll take that endorsement, thank you! Virtual mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing: Coal Rolling
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Coal Rolling. How is this still a thing? Coal Rolling, or as some lower class individuals call it, “Prius Repellent” first came into prominence in the early 2010s. The process involves modifying the mechanical and software filters on the diesel engines of large trucks in order for them to be able to spew out as much black smoke as possible and to “trigger” the owners of much more environmentally responsible vehicles, such as a Prius or Tesla. Doing so not only voids the manufacturer’s warranty of your $80,000 truck, it might also be illegal. The practice came back into play when last week, the hot mic of a Southwest Airlines pilot went viral after a flight to San Francisco International airport. Here’s how that played out:

A Southwest Airlines pilot was caught on a hot mic making an expletive-filled rant against the San Francisco Bay Area.

The unidentified pilot was heard on a radio frequency at Mineta San Jose Airport (SJC) as the flight taxied for departure.

Here's part of what he said:

"F**k this place, goddamn liberal f***s. Like eight guns out here somewhere as it is. F*****g weirdos, probably driving around in F*****g Hyundais, F*****g roads and s**t that go slow as f**k."

While his tirade wasn't broadcast to passengers, travelers say the audio is concerning.

Judina Trade returned to the Bay Area on Thursday, traveling through SJC.

Trade told ABC7Chicago sister station ABC7 News KGO-TV, "I think it's a good thing that the aircraft did not hear that because I would be very scared to hear a pilot saying that. Especially with everything that's been going on."

Southern California resident, Shane Forker said, "I think I'd maybe be worried that he was drunk, or out of his mind, maybe."
https://abc7chicago.com/southwest-airlines-pilot-rant-on-hot-mic-explicit-bay-area-san-jose-mineta-airport/10451399/

That’s right – that rant included a section about Hyundais to which the pilot really hated and thinks that coal rolling is a much better way to go. But that got many people wondering – how is coal rolling still a thing in an age when car and truck manufacturers are switching to all electric engines? Well this comes at a time when the US government and the EPA are going to start cracking down on the process of coal rolling.

Companies offering products that enable diesel pick-ups to bypass emissions software – a phenomenon known as "rolling coal" due to the huge clouds of black smoke it creates – have come under scrutiny from the US government.

Earlier this week, the government filed a US federal court complaint against American company EZ Lynk for selling an aftermarket emissions defeat device advertised as a diagnostics and data-logging tool, news outlet Reuters reports.

The software allegedly permits owners of Chevrolet, GMC, Ford, and Ram pick-ups to change computer parameters which would normally disable the car when components such as the diesel particulate filter and exhaust gas recirculation system have been removed.

The product also lets owners upload their own engine 'tune', which changes the air/fuel ratio and boost settings for the turbo set by the factory.

Turbo-diesel engines in particular are known to see power increases of up to 20 per cent by adding fuel into the combustion cycle, in some cases creating smoke plumes known as "rolling coal".

"Emissions controls on cars and trucks protect the public from harmful effects of air pollution," a US government spokesperson said in a statement.
https://www.caradvice.com.au/932322/us-government-targets-rolling-coal-pick-ups-report/

Yes, obviously. Do you think breathing heaping loads of black smoke might be harmful to your lungs and the environment? We all know the answer to that one. But this is just another watermark in the chapter on “assholes being assholes and being proud of their assholishness”. Because while most people are becoming increasingly more environmentally conscious, some out there have taken the exact opposite direction. One thing most who practice the process of rolling coal though are unaware of, is that cars like the Tesla Model Y have cameras. And they see things.

This TeslaCam video captures the moment when a Tesla Model Y on Autopilot moves to avoid a Ram diesel pickup truck. It just so happens that the truck was trying to roll coal on the Tesla at the very moment when Autopilot reportedly moved to avoid the pickup.

We don't believe that it's Autopilot moving to avoid the big plume of black smoke coming from the modified diesel truck. Rather, it's the driver reacting to avoid getting coal-rolled, but regardless, these coal-rolling attempts failed to get the Tesla. And yes, it does appear as though the diesel Ram driver is deliberately targeting the Tesla.

We at InsideEVs have covered numerous videos in which a diesel truck purposely targets a Tesla with the illegal act of coal-rolling. It seems some of these truck drivers have something against owners of clean electric cars in general and Teslas more specifically. Sometimes, the coal-rolling may not be targeted at the Tesla, but rather just the illegally modified truck accelerating and puffing out smoke as these cancer-causing rigs do. In other cases, the coal-rolling combines with a bit of road rage on behalf of the diesel truck driver too.

And yes, the act of coal rolling (modifying a diesel engine to emit all sorts of crap) is illegal in most (if not all) U.S. states, it's just not always enforced.
https://insideevs.com/news/492957/tesla-auto-pilot-avoid-coal-roll-truck/

So coal rolling is illegal in most parts of the country. But coal rolling is only part of the problem, a lot of the problem can be traced back to toxic masculinity, which is a root problem for most of the ills of modern society. In fact as pickup trucks became larger, the owners of these trucks began flaunting their ability to pollute. And that became a symbol of totalitarian rule. But if you do roll coal, be prepared to have a whole lot of people hate you.

If you heard or saw a modern diesel engine running next to a gasoline one, it’d be hard to tell the two apart. Modern diesels are quiet and run with sophisticated engine management software. They have particulate filters and urea (or other DEF) injection to combat soot. NOx emissions—which cause acrid smog and acid rain—are curtailed with modern catalysts and exhaust-gas recirculation. All these tools work together to make sure it doesn’t look like your new pickup truck is cosplaying as an 18th-century London chimney.

But some owners, seeking more horsepower or torque, fiddle with these tools. They remove the catalytic converter. They screw with the engine software to change boost pressure or ignition timing, among other things. Then, when they stomp on the throttle, black smoke gushes out the tailpipe.

Originally, this occurred mostly in truck pulls, truck races where the goal was maximum pulling power. The engine mods needed to maximize performance had the side effect of thick, black smoke. On the racetrack, engine and exhaust modifications are nothing new, nor illegal. And, if confined to a racing environment, rolling coal wouldn’t really be an issue.

Problem is, some individuals took it on public roads. And they started messing with people.
Public Trolling

In the wake of increased automotive emission regulation, a certain subset of diesel truck drivers started to rebel. They’d look for a passing hybrid, and gun it down the road, leaving the hybrid driver choking on soot. If a Prius wasn’t there, they’d suffocate cyclists, or in some cases, even pedestrians.
https://www.motorbiscuit.com/rolling-coal-just-makes-people-hate-pickup-trucks/

So coal rolling is just another form of trolling, and if you tell people not to do it, that only makes them want to do it more. That’s enough to make you ask – Coal Rolling:

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Q Anon Hot Takes
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Welcome back to the segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! We’re of course coming to you live from our undisclosed underground bunker deep in the heart of the New Mexico badlands! This week we’re going to talk about the world’s biggest conspiracy – Q Anon, which is the cultivation of all of the BS endured under the Donald J. Trump administration come to a peak. This week, I think Q Anon might need more to do. But sadly for a lot of people, this is not only their hobby, but their way of life. This week I’m sure everybody knew where they were when they heard that one of the world’s largest containerships, Boaty McBoatface, er, I mean the Ever Given, was stuck between the walls of the Suez Canal. Well, here’s the original story and even that’s crazy by crazy standards and we wish we were making this up!

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — A cargo container ship that’s among the largest in the world has turned sideways and blocked all traffic in Egypt’s Suez Canal, officials said Wednesday, threatening to disrupt a global shipping system already strained by the coronavirus pandemic.

The MV Ever Given, a Panama-flagged container ship that carries trade between Asia and Europe, became grounded Tuesday in the narrow, man-made waterway dividing continental Africa from the Sinai Peninsula.

It wasn’t immediately clear what caused the Ever Given to turn sideways in the canal. GAC, a global shipping and logistics company, described the Ever Given as suffering “a blackout while transiting in a northerly direction,” without elaborating.

Evergreen Marine Corp., a major Taiwan-based shipping company that operates the ship, said in a statement provided to The Associated Press that the Ever Given had been overcome by strong winds as it entered the Suez Canal from the Red Sea but none of its containers had sunk.

A Egyptian official, who spoke to the AP on condition of anonymity as he wasn’t authorized to brief journalists similarly blamed a strong wind in the area for the incident. Egyptian forecasters said high winds and a sandstorm plagued the area Tuesday, with winds gusting as much as 50 kph (31 mph).
https://wgntv.com/news/massive-cargo-ship-still-stuck-sideways-blocking-suez-canal/

No! No need to abandon ship just yet! Now here’s where it gets weird. Of course Q Anon followers would float conspiracy theories about the disaster – especially when your fuck-up is so huge that it’s visible from space. But that didn’t stop Q Anon followers from going there. And by going there, I mean they blamed the whole thing on Hillary Clinton. And they also suspected the boat might be trafficking children. Yes, that is a thing that happened. It’s completely insane. But not really that far from the course for Q Anon cultists.

Within minutes of the Ever Given ship getting stuck in Egypt’s Suez Canal on Wednesday, an incident that’s created chaos in global supply chains, QAnon supporters were spreading wild conspiracies that the ship was operated by Hillary Clinton and carrying a cargo of child sex slaves.

The claims were based on the fact that the Taiwanese shipping company that operates the ship is called Evergreen, which was Clinton’s secret service name when she was first lady.

The baseless theory was given further credence — in the minds of QAnon followers at least — when it emerged that the ship’s call sign was “H3RC” which is close enough to Clinton’s own initials (HRC) for QAnon followers to make the link.

The theory quickly spread on Telegram and Gab, the platforms QAnon followers have fled to in the wake of a purge by mainstream social networks in recent months.

But the claims also made their way to Twitter and Facebook, where fact-checking group PolitiFact flagged and debunked them.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/dy8n9q/suez-canal-qanon-cargo-ship-conspiracies-are-getting-wild

That’s right! The theory got so bizarre and crazy that actual news outlets had to employ real-life fact checkers to get to the bottom of this scandal. I mean shit, our janky little operation here could have told you that! No, Hillary Clinton is *NOT* trafficking children from Dubai to Europe through container ships traveling through the Suez Canal. Or is she? And my producer is throwing things at the stage!

A shipping vessel that could clog the Suez Canal for weeks is the latest piece added to an ever-evolving conspiracy theory about former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and other members of a so-called “deep state” and links to human trafficking.

Communications channels where QAnon conspiracy theories spread were humming this week about a connection between Clinton and the quarter-mile-long ship that ran aground as high winds cut across the canal.

Those seeped into mainstream social media as well, including posts on Facebook and Instagram, where users tied Clinton’s Secret Service codename to the ship and suggested its radio call sign intentionally matched Clinton’s initials.

A Facebook user who shared the post did not respond to a request for comment. It speculates without evidence that Evergreen "is most likely a cover for human and sex trafficking."

Others pushing the same theory allude to the containers being opened on television to reveal trafficked people inside. It is the latest potential disclosure related to the QAnon conspiracy theory that says former President Donald Trump was elected to thwart a deep-state cabal of pedophiles and cannibals, including Clinton.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/03/26/fact-check-no-evidence-hillary-clinton-suez-canal-vessel-linked/7014647002/

And by the way remember that Nashville bombing last November? Q Anon thought that Lizard People were involved. Yes, actual, bonafied, real life lizard people. You seriously cannot get much crazier than that. The funny thing is that they, and only they, are talking about this. So if you want wild theories, then Q Anon is the group for you! But if you’re into Q Anon, you’re probably not listening to our shit, either!

The deadly Capitol siege was fueled by far-out conspiracy theorists, including Ashli Babbitt, a QAnon supporter fatally shot by police as she tried to breach a barricaded doorway. Meanwhile, federal investigators are still looking into the belief system of Anthony Quinn Warner, who made statements about a conspiracy of lizard people taking over the planet before the explosion that damaged 41 buildings and injured three people in Nashville, Tennessee, on Christmas Day.

Many are scratching their heads. Why are people embracing such bizarre ideas?

The notion of shape-shifting, blood-sucking reptilian humanoids invading Earth to control the human race sounds like a cheesy sci-fi plot. But it's actually a very old trope with disturbing links to anti-immigrant and anti-Semitic hostilities dating to the 19th century.

Bonkers? Sure. Harmless? Definitely not.

Law enforcement sources say Warner's writings indicate his interest in a number of conspiracy theories — including the lizard people takeover. He may even have had a pastime of hunting such aliens in the park. Before the blast, Warner sent packages to friends filled with material expounding on his bizarre worldview. They included a letter that began "Hey Dude, You will never believe what I found in the park."
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/qanon-s-capitol-rioters-nashville-bomber-s-lizard-people-theory-ncna1253819

There really is a Gif for everything! Even with our budget of zero, we can still find some freaking hilarious shit out there. But here’s the thing about Q Anon – is that they do network. And when they network, things get really insane. And if you want to delve into the mind of Q Anon supporters, there’s a convention! Yes, an actual real life convention! I can just imagine the halls and panels that they will have at such a convention.

In this politically charged, hyperpartisan era, many hospitality brands would go out of their way to avoid being linked to a group that helped fuel the Capitol riot on January 6.

But this Memorial Day Weekend, the Omni Dallas Hotel is slated to host a QAnon conference, reports the Dallas Morning News. Attendees who stay at the upscale 1,001-room property in downtown Dallas for $149 a night can enjoy eight restaurants, a heated infinity pool, a full-service spa—and a stacked lineup of QAnon favorites.

The “For God & Country Patriot Roundup” kicks off at 5 p.m. on Friday, May 28, with a private VIP meet-and-greet reception at the hotel’s Texas Spice restaurant. The hotel is connected by skybridge to the Dallas Convention Center, though event organizers have scheduled the bulk of the activities at Gilley’s Dallas, a seven-venue complex just down the road.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/suzannerowankelleher/2021/03/25/qanon-conference-omni-dallas-hotel-memorial-day-weekend-michael-flynn-sidney-powell/?sh=399756243778

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Cinnamon Toast Shrimp
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Hey everyone! I don’t know about you but I could really use a drink!

So of course you know that the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Well last week there was a bizarre and quite frankly one of the weirdest stories I’ve heard in a while. And it’s one that hits very shockingly close to home! Tell me virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Cinnamon Toast Beer? What is it? What the fuck is a “chunky IPA”? No thanks, I will take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Here’s what happened – podcaster Jensen Karp – who’s already a minor celebrity here in Los Angeles as part of a former morning radio show that used to air every day until the whole show was fired over the phone at the start of COVID, found shrimp in the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that he bought at Costco. Here’s how that went down:

Writer and podcast host Jensen Karp is trying to get some answers after an unexpected surprise he had while trying to eat a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

He tweeted a photo of his bowl of cereal and wrote, “Ummmm @CTCSquares – why are there shrimp tails in my cereal? (This is not a bit).”

The cereal brand responded and wrote, “We’re sorry to see what you found! We would like to report this to our quality team and replace the box. Can you please send us a DM to collect more details? Thanks!”

CTC later sent another tweet denying that the shrimp tails were in the cereal.

They wrote, “After further investigation with our team that closely examined the image, it appears to be an accumulation of the cinnamon sugar that sometimes can occur when ingredients aren’t thoroughly blended. We assure you that there’s no possibility of cross contamination with shrimp.”
https://wmgk.com/2021/03/23/man-finds-shrimp-tails-in-his-cinnamon-toast-crunch/

Somehow I don’t think that’s enough! Man, I miss my audience! But anyways, so Mr. Karp found a pair of shrimp tails and some other unexpected prizes in his box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What makes this even weirder is that General Mills’ corporate PR department offered a completely batshit crazy and totally expected response to the fiasco. And when I say “totally expected”, I mean the exact kind of bullshit PR move you would expect. And this thing then went viral. And I do mean completely viral.

If you’re a devoted fan of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and don’t plan to stop any time soon, you should probably turn away now.

It may already be too late for comedian and writer Jensen Karp, who says he found a slew of unappetizing surprises in his breakfast cereal Monday morning.

A spokesperson responded, asking Karp to put the shrimp tails in a pre-paid envelope and send it to them so they can have it checked out.

Karp acquiesced, on one condition. “I’m going to keep one of the two (shrimp tails),” he wrote, “because your last response publicly was super weird and since you’ll be receiving a shrimp tail, I’ll keep one so you don’t try to say it’s sugar and make me look insane?”

It’s unclear what the company had to say to that. In another screenshot posted by Karp, they tried to offer him some vouchers to compensate for the “unpleasant experience” but he refused.

“No,” he wrote. “You just told me it wasn’t shrimp tails.”
https://nationalpost.com/news/world/man-finds-shrimp-tails-in-his-cinnamon-toast-crunch-cereal-but-the-company-says-its-just-sugar

Yeah that’s of course the solution is to live under the sea! And this inspired everything from people making their own Cinnamon Toast Shrimp to finding actual Cinnamon Toast Shrimp on the menus at restaurants. But here’s where it gets weird – as more places started picking up the story, the darker it, Mr. Karp is married to Danielle Fischel, who played the character of Topanga on Boy Meets World. But apparently being famous also has an ugly side and especially one that nobody expected from this. And it looks like anyone could have this happen to them if that’s where it goes.

As the post circulated internationally, Karp enjoyed a shining moment of Twitter fame, and granted interviews to media outlets including TMZ and the New York Times. “I’m the new Gorilla Glue Girl, aren’t I?” he wondered — perhaps wistfully? — in a tweet. But all the notoriety also raised suspicions among certain of Karp’s acquaintances, a number of whom suggest he may be an unreliable narrator.

Multiple women identifying themselves as his ex-romantic partners began sharing their own, remarkably similar, impressions of him. They said that Karp was manipulative, controlling, cruel, and that dating him had adversely impacted their mental health. (Karp did not respond to a request for comment from the Cut.) Former co-workers came forward, too — including writer, comedian, and actor Brittani Nichols, who wrote a lengthy thread alleging that leadership at Karp’s rap-battle competition show, Drop the Mic, had to be “talked into hiring a person of color,” among other things, and that he was a terrible employer in general.

There have also been allusions to theft of intellectual property from other podcasters, references to alleged “gaslighting,” and assertions that Karp generally just lies a lot. On the other hand, there have also been defenses of Karp’s character — for example, from Linkin Park guy Mike Shinoda, who called him an “all-around good dude” and praised his talents in comedy and podcasting.
https://www.thecut.com/2021/03/the-cinnamon-toast-crunchshrimp-tails-saga-is-getting-dark.html

But alas there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Think of it like the famous Simpsons episode where Homer gets accused of sexual harassment and the more people picked up on the story, the crazier it got. But we can all learn from this and if you want a story to go viral, make sure that you don’t have any demons in your closet before you start turning on the thing that could potentially make you famous, because it could come back to bite you in the ass!

Disgusting. That's what everyone thought when they first heard about the saga of the cinnamon-and-sugar encrusted shrimp tail found in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
The gross object was tweeted by Los Angeles-based writer Jensen Karp, who said he found pieces of a crustacean in his cereal earlier this week. His thousands of followers responded — and so did Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

The back-and-forth quickly devolved into chaos. The cereal brand owned by General Mills responded via Twitter to Karp, saying that the shrimp-tail-like objects weren't seafood, but an "accumulation of the cinnamon sugar that sometimes can occur when ingredients aren't thoroughly blended." It added: "We assure you that there's no possibility of cross contamination with shrimp."

Admittedly, it's a silly story. But for Tom Meyvis, a professor of marketing and consumer behavior at New York University's Stern School of Business, there's a lesson to be learned here.

Meyvis said the discovery is gross — and that's "very dangerous for food brands." However, how Cinnamon Toast Crunch responded was even worse, he said.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/24/business/cinnamon-toast-crunch-shrimp/index.html

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3
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16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back everybody! Last week saw an epic battle as #3 Nevada handily routed #4 Iowa to advance to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Championship, while over in the Gun Nut Conference, #3 Idaho shot their way past #4 Oregon to advance to the conference finals! This week it’s a battle of conference heavyweights! Over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #1 Kansas takes on red hot #2 Wyoming to advance to play Nevada. And over in the Gun Nut Conference, last year’s reigning champion #1 Florida takes on #2 Texas to advance to the conference finals! This is going to be some really good matching, and let’s go to the floor!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: #1 Kansas vs #2 Wyoming [/font]

[font size="2"]Kansas [/font]

Kansas sits atop the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. It’s the home of several large corporations and large industries. Agriculture is of course the prime industry but did you know that Topeka is also home to one of the world’s richest companies? I’m of course talking about Koch Industries. Kansas is also home to some of the biggest corporations and food processing companies in the entire United States, including the anti-Coke, PepsiCo, and Frito Lay! Both of which are locking in an insane labor negotiation deal. Think of it like that episode of the Simpsons.

PepsiCo, the company that owns Topeka's Frito-Lay plant, isn't negotiating fairly in contract talks with the union representing more than 450 of the employees there, says the president of the union representing those workers.

PepsiCo has "threatened to lock us out if we don't take what they offered," said Brent Hall, president of Local 218 of the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers union.

Hall made those statements Friday on his personal Facebook page while asking the public to contact PepsiCo and express support for the union. He posted the phone number, email address and regular mail address for the PepsiCo board.

"We'd appreciate all the help we can get," Hall told The Capital-Journal on Saturday. "We're trying to negotiate a contract. We're not trying to negotiate a strike. We want fair and open negotiations."

Read more: https://www.cjonline.com/story/business/employment/2021/03/08/union-president-pepsico-not-negotiating-fairly-frito-lay-talks/4610488001/

And with lots of jobs also comes lots of unemployment, which Kansas has IN DROVES! Yes that’s right – there’s a lot of unemployed people in the central part of the United States. And with massive unemployment also comes massive unemployment fraud. And unlike voter fraud, unemployment fraud is actually a real problem in this country. Although you would think more people would care about this subject, but they really don’t.

Thousands of fraudulent unemployment claims are prompting Kansas to shut down its processing system this weekend, meaning some jobless workers will have payments delayed as the state installs new anti-fraud protections, Gov. Laura Kelly announced Wednesday.

Kelly acknowledged that fraudulent claims may have helped fuel a recent surge of filings for benefits, agreeing with Republican legislators.

The Democratic governor’s announcement came shortly after GOP lawmakers said they will push to protect employers from being forced to cover the cost of fraudulent claims in ex-employees' names. They said the state Department of Labor doesn't have a handle on the problem and that they've not gotten enough data or answers.

Kelly said the unemployment system will go down at 2 p.m. Saturday and go back up at 7 a.m. Tuesday. She said the state won’t pay benefits during that period but will work to catch up on claims when the system is back up.

Read more: https://theeagle.com/news/business/kansas-to-shut-down-unemployment-system-to-deal-with-fraud/article_0a875611-7910-5675-93e5-e1a706be8759.html

[font size="2"]Wyoming [/font]

Wyoming is a newcomer to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. And they’re one of the hottest teams in the league for a good reason. If you have any rich friends, you may have heard them talking about moving to Wyoming and it’s mainly thanks to Wyoming’s current rich guy ambassador and former presidential candidate Kanye West. Resort towns in the Equality State are becoming playgrounds for America’s super rich because of the large plots of land available and they’re incredibly cheap because Wyoming is in a terrible recession. But really there’s more to it.

Not many American towns the size of Pinedale, population roughly 2,000, can boast that they have a $22 million aquatic center, with a beautiful lap pool, water slides, yoga rooms and a three-story climbing wall.

Then again, most rural towns this size probably haven't had the steady pipeline of tax revenue from natural gas pumped off nearby federal land to pay for it. The opening of the center, more than a decade ago, convinced its now director Amber Anderson to move back home after college in 2018 as a young professional.

"I would not have come back to Pinedale had it not been for this facility, and my family's all here and I love the outdoors and stuff but there just wasn't a lot to offer in Pinedale," says Anderson.

The Jonah Field is one of the most productive federal drilling lands in the country. But in the last few years, things have gotten tough. When prices were high, companies drilled a lot, but now there's a glut. Prices tanked and the pandemic has made that even worse. Locally, people are getting laid off, and Anderson recently had to cut the aquatic center's budget by almost half.
https://www.npr.org/2021/02/10/965335665/facing-a-reckoning-wyoming-wrestles-with-a-transition-from-fossil-fuels

And here’s the thing people – keep electing republicans because it will ultimately come back to bite you in the ass. Hard. And not only that, the shit is coming around and it will ultimately affect them. See, Wyoming might be a current playground for the uber-wealthy but it’s hurting financially. For every outer beauty, there is an inner ugly. And this is probably the least ugly thing but it’s way worse than you would think!

Sen. Anthony Bouchard, R-Cheyenne, says Wyoming sell its two jets used for transporting state employees, but some officials have pushed back against this idea.

“The State of Wyoming should list its TWO Luxury jets on EBAY instead of raising taxes and pushing toll road,” Bouchard wrote on his Facebook account that also featured a photo of the planes.

However, multiple Wyoming Department of Transportation studies have concluded the planes actually save the state money instead of being more costly.

State aeronautics division administrator Brian Olsen told Cowboy State Daily that although his department doesn’t have an official stance on the jets, the staff finds they are an efficient and effective tool in conducting state business.

Read more: https://cowboystatedaily.com/2021/03/12/legislator-suggests-wyoming-should-sell-its-jets-state-officials-push-back/

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

We have an upset! Wyoming knocks off Kansas to advance to the conference finals and play Nevada for the crown! Final score: 84 – 75! Kansas goes home and puts an end to a great season. Wyoming advances to their first Fiscal Irresponsibility championship!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Conference: #1 Florida vs #2 Texas [/font]

[font size="2"]Florida [/font]

Florida was last years’ champion for one reason: Their MVP Ron DeSantis. Could he foster the first ever repeat in Stupidest State history? Only time will tell of course! But Florida not only has some ridiculously strong gun credentials, they also have strong Batshit credentials, making them a double contender in both categories. And again it’s all thanks to their current governor, Ron DeSantis. But remember in the Gun Nut Conference, the crazy doesn’t matter. Instead it’s how much heat you pack, and Florida – well they are packing lots and lots of heat!

With supporters saying the issue is about property rights, the Florida House on Friday overwhelmingly passed a bill that would allow people to carry guns at churches that share locations with schools.

House members voted 76-37 to approve the measure (HB 259), sponsored by Rep. Jayer Williamson, R-Pace, and Rep. Cord Byrd, R-Neptune Beach. Florida law generally allows people to carry concealed weapons at churches, synagogues, mosques and other religious institutions, but it bars being armed on school properties. That leads to people being prevented from carrying guns on properties shared by religious institutions and schools.

The bill would allow people with concealed-weapons licenses to bring guns on properties shared by churches and schools. Religious institutions or property owners would continue to be able to bar guns at the sites.

Williamson described the proposal as an issue of private property rights, which he said are a “foundation of our country.” But Rep. Joe Geller, D-Aventura, disputed that the issue was about property rights and said it is about guns in classrooms. Geller said the Legislature’s job should be to protect students.
https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2021/03/29/strapped-at-sunday-school-florida-house-passes-bill-allowing-concealed-weapons-in-church

And not only does Florida allow guns just about everywhere, they steal guns! Oh yes my friends, in case you’re wondering if Florida can’t sink any lower in terms of gun crime – let’s take into account that most gun crimes are committed with stolen weapons. Then let’s go further and report on Florida having the most stolen guns per capita in the United States. Yes that is correct! And it does not surprise us in the least!

In the last year, Marion County saw a major increase in reported gun thefts, which went up 85 percent in 2020.

“When a gun is stolen, that gun was not purchased lawfully. There was no background check,” Bloom said.

He noted many of the weapons were stolen out of unlocked cars.

“Many times these people who break into cars are teenagers, and now a teenager has a firearm. A deadly weapon,” Bloom said. “No gun owner, no lawful gun owner would want his or her firearm falling into the hands of a teenager who has some bad intent with it.”

Marion County is not the only local area to see an increase in gun thefts last year. Kissimmee’s gun thefts nearly doubled, going up 95 percent in one year. Orlando’s gun thefts went up 34 percent and Osceola County’s went up 23 percent.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2021/03/25/gun-thefts-increase-in-central-florida-during-record-breaking-year-for-gun-sales/

[font size="2"]Texas [/font]

Ah what’s there to say about Texas, the Lone Star State? A reigning champion of the Gun Nut Conference and Stupidest State 2019 winner? Well not a whole lot. Texas has one of the largest concentrations of guns in the entire country and is conveniently located on the other side of the Gulf from Florida. Well remember during the Trump administration when people were complaining about those icky “sanctuary states” (which was really a racist call? Well Gov. Abbott wants to make Texas a “sanctuary state” for gun owners! Gee, what could go wrong there?

Filed earlier this month, a state House bill backed by Gov. Greg Abbott would turn Texas into a so-called Second Amendment sanctuary state. In other words, the bill, if passed, would forbid Texas state agencies and other bodies from enforcing new federal gun laws or rules, a proposal some advocacy groups have criticized.

The bill’s primary author, state Rep. Justin Holland, a Republican from Heath, said HB 2622 comes at a time when it’s necessary to “step up and protect our 2nd Amendment rights in Texas,” according to a press release.

If enacted, the bill seeks to bar any state agency or political subdivision from enforcing new federal gun laws, orders, rules or regulations that do not already exist in Texas law.

One of more than 40 active gun-related bills in the Legislature, it would also block state grant funds to any political subdivision that adopts a new federal statute, order, rule or regulation on firearms. The funds would be denied for the next fiscal year, the bill notes.
https://www.dallasobserver.com/news/texas-republicans-legislators-push-bills-to-make-state-second-amendment-sanctuary-11995333

And not only does Texas not have to be careful with guns, they have a whopping 40 – that’s right – 40 legislative bills on the desk awaiting approval. Expect mass shootings to get *THAT* much worse in the Lone Star State. And I mean come on, what can you expect when Ted Cruz is your senator? And if you get caught with a gun even though you have a history of abuse in Texas? You just get nothing more than a slap on the wrist. They’re soft on guns in Texas. Ew, that sounded wrong.

In Texas, if a protective order is issued against you, you can’t possess a firearm or ammunition. That’s been spelled out on protective orders for more than 20 years -- except in cases where a respondent is a peace officer with a full-time state agency job.

As of Sept. 1, 2020, trial courts are also required to inform people regarding prohibitions outlined in their protective order.

“(The court must) orally admonish the person, in a manner the person can understand, that the person is ineligible to possess a firearm or ammunition; and provide the person with a written admonishment informing that person of the person's ineligibility to possess a firearm or ammunition,” a chapter in the Texas Administrative Code states.

But based on multiple conversations with lawmakers, attorneys, judges, law enforcement and advocates across the state, we found that most of the 254 Texas counties don’t have a formal process for the surrender, storage and return of those guns.
https://www.khou.com/article/news/deep-dive-texas/texas-law-prohibits-domestic-abusers-protective-orders-having-guns/285-d976056e-c25c-43ea-8856-b65cb69b7438

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! This is one of the most hotly contested rivalries in the Gun Nut Conference! Texas has stunned Florida with 12 unanswered points on the board and they are going to move onto the Gun Nut Championship! Last year’s champions are not going to repeat this year! They are stunned on the floor! Final score: 103 – 91! Wow, what a match!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

It’s the final week of Round 1! And we’ve been saving the best for last as #1 Georgia takes on #2 Kentucky for the Batshit Conference crown, while over in the Family Values conference, #3 Mississippi takes on #4 Arkansas! The Elite 8 is shaping up and looking pretty interesting!

See you next week!

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April 8, 2021

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-10: I Smell Sex And Stupid Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-10: I Smell Sex And Stupid Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We are back, and forwards I might add! Still coming to you from this blank, blue void in the back room of a Burbank comedy club for the foreseeable future. No, no, we don’t need a Tucker reaction camera anymore. But look at this void! It’s so blue! So this is our 10th edition of season 10 which means that we could do a Top 10 with all editions 1 – 10 of season 10. Or we could do a Top 10 of all 10th editions from each season! Either way. This week while we can’t bring out the Wheel of Corruption, we are going to bring back some of our patented Clips Without Context! Because it’s been a while since we’ve seen some of these and there have been some good ones! Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! So congratulations to the Baylor Bears for winning the NCAA tournament and absolutely destroying Gonzaga. And that’s after Gonzaga had that crazy 3 pointer to sink UCLA. That was one crazy end to the tournament. And I’m so glad that tournaments are back and they have audiences! Hell, I went to my first MLB game in over a year and it was magical. I was even amazed to see live fireworks for the first time in over a year and before stupid COVID hit I was going to see fireworks at my baseball stadium like every week. And if the audiences we’re seeing now are any indication, I think that I’m going to like the Roaring 20’s when things finally open back up. And if you look at baseball attendance lately, Trump is of course having the opposite effect of his intended boycott! Keep wallowing in your own self-pity guys, it will eventually own you! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. Too much really. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the subject of the National Debt:

Where do we begin this week? In the absence of the famous Wheel Of Corruption, we're going to bring back some of our patented Clips Without Context because there's been some good ones lately, and each entry will feature a new clip that is both insane and cringe worthy! Well, we have to talk about the jaw-dropping, stunning level of stupidity surrounding the Matt Gaetz sex scandal (1) and the more you dig deep into this dive, the weirder and stupider it gets! Taking the second slot this week is our favorite conspiracy theory congresswoman, Marjorie Taylor Greene (2), who represents the Q-Batshit party. And no, Crossfit is not a cure for COVID, no matter how many idiots make that claim! In the number 3 slot this week is Brian Kemp (3) – yes the governor of Georgia just found out the hard way that actions have consequences as the MLB announced that it’s pulling out of the 2021 All Star Game in Atlanta which will put a serious damper in Georgia businesses and tourism revenue. In the #4 slot this week is Arizona Republicans (4). Yes, they are attempting, again to steal the 2020 election despite that it’s all yesterday’s news, and they’ve hired a firm run by a Q theorist! What could go wrong? Taking the 5th seed this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), we’re going to take a look at what goes into a vaccine passport, and it’s not as scary as conservatives are making it out to be! At slot #6 this week, in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) – as Easter approaches, we take a look at the religious side of “cancel culture” – and guess what? It works both ways! At slot #7, we’re going to bring back our segment “Explaining Jokes To Idiots” which is definitely true in the wake of Mike Huckabee’s extremely racist tweet and Chet Hanks’ White Boy Summer. In the 8th slot this week, in a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8), the alt right social media app Parler warned the FBI about its’ user base and even ratted out members! What could go wrong? In the #9 (NEIN!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State 2021! This week we have Round 1 Week 4 and this week it’s a battle of the Batshit as #1 Georgia takes on reigning champion #2 Kentucky, while over in the Family Values Conference, it’s an interstate rivalry between #3 Mississippi and #4 Alabama! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Matt Gaetz
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Hey everyone! It's a clip without context!

What? You could make that claim about anything! I mean this CD I'm holding up of Kansas' greatest hits could be considered the equivalent of pedophilia. That is just fucking dumb. Anyway...

We need some music for this one!

OK there have been some ridiculously dumb scandals in history. But this one might take the cake for being one of the most shocking, jaw droppingly dumb scandals in history. When I found out that Matt Gaetz had sex with underage teenage girls I couldn’t wait to report it this week. And the more you dig into this scandal, the dumber it gets. I mean you couldn’t possibly be this dumb. Like that Marcy Playground hit from the 1990s – I smell sex and candy? This is more like “I smell sex and… stupid… yeah…!”. Still can’t believe that song was popular. I probably could have devoted the entire edition to this scandal because it really is that stupid. Here’s how it started because it started out just like any other Congressional sex scandal in history.

A defiant Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) says he has no plans to resign from Congress amid a federal investigation into whether he paid women — and a 17-year-old girl — for sexual favors.

Yet behind the scenes, a growing number of Gaetz’s Republican colleagues are predicting his days on Capitol Hill are growing short.

“In reality, yes, he won’t last long,” one member told The Hill on Friday.

The forecasts seem to be based on some combination of political pragmatism and wishful thinking.

Gaetz, who stands among the fiercest defenders of former President Trump, is no stranger to controversy, but the latest allegations — which have stemmed from a broader sex trafficking investigation involving the prostitution of minors — are by far the most serious. And Gaetz’s flair for flamboyant confrontation — he recently flew to Wyoming to stage a rally against GOP Rep. Liz Cheney on her home turf — has endeared him to pro-Trump conservatives outside the Beltway, but has also made him plenty of enemies within his own party.
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/546260-republicans-quietly-say-gaetzs-days-in-congress-are-numbered

Now here’s where it gets weird and you knew it was going to. I mean after all, he’s a Congressman from Florida. It’s already implied that it’s weird. But what makes it even weirder? The New York Times did their own investigation and they have receipts. Oh yes, my friends – they have receipts. How did they trace him you might ask? Well he used an electronic form of payment to solicit prostitutes. That’s right – he used an easily traceable form of electronic payment to commit a crime! You might as well register with Instatrace!

Florida representative and MAGA firebrand Matt Gaetz found himself in the middle of a reputational, and possibly criminal, firestorm this week after the New York Times broke the news on Tuesday that the Justice Department is looking into whether he broke federal sex trafficking laws and had sexual encounters with a minor. The Times’ sources say that investigators are examining Gaetz’s relationship two years ago with someone who may have been 17 at the time. They are also determining whether he financially supported her, including paying for her to travel with him over state lines, in exchange for sex, which could amount to sex trafficking of a minor. Gaetz has categorically denied engaging in sexual relationships with minors or paying anyone for sex, and is instead claiming that the investigation is part of a ploy to extort $25 million from his family. Subsequent news reports have unearthed increasingly bizarre details about the scandal; Times reporters, for instance, reviewed records of suspicious transactions that Gaetz made through payment apps.

The Gaetz probe is reportedly part of a larger investigation into one of his political allies, former Seminole County, Florida, tax collector Joel Greenberg. Greenberg resigned last June after he was indicted on 14 federal charges, including sex trafficking of a 14-year-old. Greenberg was allegedly frequenting websites where users can meet people who are willing to have sex for gifts and other forms of ostensibly indirect financial support. According to the Times, Justice Department officials believe that Greenberg was having sex with these people and then introducing them to Gaetz for further sexual favors. Gaetz reportedly took ecstasy during some of these encounters, which occurred while he was in office in 2019 and 2020; the congressman notably criticized President Joe Biden’s son Hunter for drug use in 2019. Reporters also retrieved receipts of payments that Gaetz and Greenberg made via Cash App and Apple Cash to one of the women involved. This particular detail raised eyebrows on social media, mostly because it seems foolhardy for a high-profile politician to commit a crime using something as traceable as these two extremely popular payment apps.
https://slate.com/technology/2021/04/matt-gaetz-cash-app-history.html

Let me speak to all the future wannabe criminals out there - if you're going to commit a crime, maybe, I don't know, don't use fucking Cash App to commit said crime! Oh look at that! He broke the stupid scale! Ladies and gentlemen, mark this very moment as the time of death for the stupid scale! By the way, Matt Gaetz turns on his full Trump conservative persona and suggests that he’s actually the victim in all of this! Now really, you have got to be fucking kidding me on this one. But not really.

The Matt Gaetz story increasingly reads like a script written by a pervert high on a cocktail of speed and MDMA. Even if you’ve been following the scandal-prone Republican congressman’s latest controversy closely it’s hard to keep track of what on earth is happening. So here’s a guide to navigating the saga far.

First and foremost, it has been established that Gaetz is under federal investigation for sexual misconduct. On Tuesday, the New York Times reported that the justice department (DoJ) is investigating whether Gaetz, 38, “had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old and paid for her to travel with him”. If these allegations are accurate, then Gaetz could have violated federal sex trafficking laws. According to the Times, the allegations are part of a broader investigation into a political ally of Gaetz’s named Joel Greenberg, a Florida tax collector who was indicted last year on charges including the sex trafficking of a child. Greenberg also reportedly misused public funds to buy servers for a cryptocurrency company as well as weapons, ammunition and a drone. As you do.

After the Times broke the story, Gaetz confirmed to Axios that he was under federal investigation for sexual misconduct and is worried about being criminally charged. Rather predictably, however, he insists that he’s actually the victim in all of this and has said “no part of the allegations” against him are true. Gaetz, who is currently engaged to a woman 12 years younger than him, claimed that he used to be a “generous” partner in his single days and paid for flights and hotel rooms. “I think someone is trying to make that look criminal when it is not,” he said.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/03/matt-gaetz-scandal-week-in-patriarchy

Yes, until that night a gross pervert named Matt Gaetz paid underage prostitutes with his iPhone… that’s a really 21st century crime isn’t it? But here’s where it gets really gross. Like all sex scandals eventually do, and that’s that there’s an event coming up. I just don’t get women for Trump. Because that’s just weird, awkward and cruel. But having a women’s conference at a Trump resort featuring Matt Gaetz as a keynote speaker is just gross on multiple levels. And we don’t even have time to mention his pardon either, we’ll save that for next week.

Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz is expected to speak at a “Women for America First” gala in the Sunshine State this Friday as he remains under fire over allegations that he paid for sex with an underage girl.

Gaetz, who vehemently denies the shocking allegations, will be the keynote speaker at the “Save America Summit,” which will take place at former President Donald Trump’s golf club in Doral this week, the Women for America First group said Tuesday.

“Rep Matt Gaetz has been a fearless leader in DC. Few members of Congress have been more willing than Matt to stand up & fight on behalf of President Trump & his America First Agenda,” the group tweeted. “We are honored.”

Gaetz returned the favor, tweeting back at the group: “Thank you to ‘Women for America First’ for the invitation to share my vision for our great nation.”

According to the group’s website, attendants have to dish out at least $500 for the Gaetz speech, which will also feature “BBQ, Boots & Bluegrass.”
https://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/us-elections-government/ny-gaetz-sex-trafficking-probe-trump-pardon-20210407-fwateyj7mzerln3jmvthxahxvu-story.html

[font size="8"]Marjorie Taylor Greene
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Let's do some clips without context!

Then why are you an elected representative who is supposed to be at the Capitol? Oh shit who am I kidding? It's impossible to analyze what they're saying vs what they mean.

Look people the bottom line is simple. Want to end this damn pandemic so we can all get back to having normal lives and fun things to do again? Take the damn vaccine! It’s that fucking simple. Just get in your car, drive to the nearest point where you can get it, and take the damn shot. It’s literally an hour (or two) out of your life. If I can do it, then believe me, literally anybody can do it. That’s how end this. How we don’t end it? Listen to kooks like Marjorie Taylor Green (Q – Batshit) who are spreading an insane new theory that eating healthy and maintaining an active lifestyle are going to be the magic cure for COVID. But just like any other theory this is all an insane hypothesis, but no more than the 10,000,000,000 other insane theories out there. This one is also gaining traction because of people who are looking to say stupid shit on Twitter for no other reason than to stick it to people who are taking this seriously. You’re just selfish assholes, OK?

It seems Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) is still trying to work out how the coronavirus is transmitted.

Greene — who is known as the “QAnon congresswoman” thanks to her past endorsement of the conspiracy movement — posted a video to Twitter on Thursday showing her doing what appears to be a CrossFit workout.

“This is my Covid protection,” she wrote alongside a flexed-arm emoji and the hashtag #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain.

Twitter users had no problem exercising their right to point out the absurdity and ignorance of her declaration.

Being jacked or flinging about on a pullup bar like “like a wild salmon trying to escape a grizzly bear” does not make you immune from a respiratory viral infection. According to the World Health Organization, the coronavirus is transmitted through respiratory droplets among people who are in close contact with each other. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also urges gymgoers to wear masks, social distance and to opt for “low-intensity activities over high-intensity activities when indoors.” This is because when you exercise, you exhale and inhale larger amounts of air, two experts explained to NBC News.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/marjorie-taylor-greene-slammed-for-dumb-claim-that-crossfit-is-her-covid-protection_n_6064e08ec5b6adf599cc903a

And yes that is shockingly dumb. Even for someone like Marjorie Greene who has been known to say ridiculously crazy and stupid shit on a daily basis. But to make matters worse, not only did she stand by her ridiculously dumb claims, she doubled down! And not only did she double down, she even went after overweight people as being the cause of the spread. No, it’s not that. This virus is an equal opportunity killer, it doesn’t care if you’re in shape or not!

Georgia Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene on Saturday accused Democrats and Dr. Anthony Fauci of pushing for COVID-19 vaccines to be mandated, and for failing to address obesity within the pandemic.

Speaking on a large Twitter thread, Greene stated that lockdown orders and gym closures to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus are leading to "more weight gain," while criticizing Democrats for encouraging individuals to be inoculated.

"According to the CDC, the highest risk factor for covid hospitalization, ventilation, and death is OBESITY. As a matter of FACT, 78% of those who were ventilated or died from covid were obese," Greene wrote on Twitter.

"With over 42% of our population being obese, why isn't the biggest effort to save people's lives seriously tackling the critical health risk of obesity?" she added.

The Georgia Republican also stated that she introduced a bill called the "Fire Fauci Act," and accused the infectious disease expert of "helping big Pharma and destroying freedom."

Within her Twitter thread, Greene also posted videos of herself exercising, and encouraged her followers to tag her in videos of themselves doing pull-ups.
https://www.newsweek.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-asks-why-obesity-not-focus-blames-dems-covid-vaccine-mandates-1580878

That is a good point, miss! And here’s the thing – yes obesity is a very serious health risk that should be taken seriously, that’s not wrong there. But that’s not the issue here. The issue is ending the COVID-19 pandemic and getting life back to the normalcy we had in 2019. But I cannot stress this enough. TAKE. THE. FUCKING. VACCINE. Stop making excuses. The more you do, the more you give the virus opportunities to mutate, and we don’t want that.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene posted a series of tweets railing against the White House’s coronavirus efforts on Thursday. In them, the publicity-hungry conspiracy enthusiast promoted her latest proposal—dubbed the Fire Fauci Act and the We Will Not Comply Act—demanding that Dr. Anthony Fauci be fired and making it known that she wouldn’t comply with “vaccine passports” and would seek to make the unvaccinated a protected class from discrimination.

In one of her first tweets on the subject, Greene shared a video of herself working out—specifically, doing a variation of the clean-and-press in a superset with butterfly pull-ups.

“This my Covid protection,” says the tweet’s text, accompanied by the hashtag #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain.

Her fitness routine in the clip quickly generated discourse. Greene’s form on the clean-and-press looked fine, but viewers were alarmed by her pull-ups—a swingy variation that can look bizarre to outsiders. Where a normal pull-up involves engaging your arms, back, and core to pull yourself up and over the bar, Greene was arching her back before swinging her body upward into a somewhat hollow position.

But Greene is a devotee of the CrossFit method, in spite of the brand disavowing her due to her penchant for racism and conspiracy theories. She clarified later that she was doing “butterfly pull-ups.” (Though, it seems, there’s no reason to do this unless you’re competitive in CrossFit.)
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2021/04/marjorie-taylor-greene-workout-video.html

Here’s the thing, everyone wants to be healthy, we’re not making that argument here. But your workout is just bad form all around. You’re supposed to lift those weights with your back and not with your legs, because that will result in injury. And the last thing you should be doing right now in the middle of a pandemic is making trips to the ER! But even the people who run Crossfit have had enough of Marjorie Greene’s bullshit! So yeah again… she’s wrong on every level!

With every pull-up, power snatch, and hotel-room burpee, Marjorie Taylor Greene used CrossFit to build her brand, from gym owner to the House of Representatives’ most visible far-right conspiracy theorist. Before and during her political rise, CrossFit’s headquarters ignored Greene’s existence and her praise of the company’s workout programs — until now.

CrossFit for the first time disavowed Greene after BuzzFeed News asked in February about her history of calling for violence against political enemies, support for QAnon, attempts to undermine the 2020 presidential election, and amplification of other dangerous and deceptive nonsense. “CrossFit supports respectful fact-based political dialogue to address our common challenges, and we strongly oppose the loathsome and dangerous lies attributed to Ms. Greene,” Andrew Weinstein, a CrossFit spokesperson, told BuzzFeed News.

It started with Greene using her time as an affiliate gym owner to build her credibility as a small business owner. Then she asked for campaign donations and invited at least one gym member to donor events when she launched her congressional bid. Now, in Washington, she points to her time as an athlete and CrossFit affiliate owner to push her political agenda — like her viral hotel room workout in Washington, DC.

Though Greene entwined herself with the brand at nearly every step of her controversial political growth, CrossFit is only speaking out as it struggles to publicly account for its own accusations of racism, bigotry, and ignoring science during a lethal pandemic in its community of affiliates.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryancbrooks/marjorie-taylor-greene-qanon-crossfit

[font size="8"]Brian Kemp
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Time for another Clip Without Context!

Uh oh! He's onto us! Our cover is blown! Back to our regularly scheduled program!

OK so this is one of those “cause and effect” type of deals that we keep pushing here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots headquarters in Burbank, California. Because if you notice, you will find out that actions have consequences. And Georgia’s Brian Kemp found that out the hard way. Last week we reported on his shockingly evil new voter suppression laws, and yes, they are as bad as you would think they are. And not only did he have that insane fight with Georgia’s largest employer – Delta Airlines, he’s about to have another fight with Major League Baseball. That’s right – conservatives are declaring war on America’s pastime after Brian Kemp’s actions cost Atlanta the All Star game. So yeah expect this to get very ugly very quickly!

Major League Baseball is moving the 2021 All-Star Game and 2021 draft out of Atlanta in response to Georgia's controversial new voting law, the league announced Friday.

"I have decided that the best way to demonstrate our values as a sport is by relocating this year's All-Star Game and MLB Draft," Commissioner Rob Manfred said in a statement. "Major League Baseball fundamentally supports voting rights for all Americans and opposes restrictions to the ballot box."

Discussions of moving the game surfaced after Georgia recently passed a strict new voting law, which critics say is designed to disenfranchise voters of color. It requires a photo ID in order to vote via absentee ballot, which more than 1.3 million Georgia voters did during the coronavirus pandemic.

The new law limited the locations for dropboxes and the time voters have to request an absentee ballot. It also outlaws passing out food and water to voters within 150 feet of a polling place or within 25 feet of any voter standing in line, a particularly controversial provision as there are often longer lines to vote in disproportionately Black precincts.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/georgia-voting-law-mlb-all-star-game-moved-out-atlanta/

That’s kind of about what it feels like to Georgia right now – getting beaned over the head because of something that the boss did. And here’s what else is going to happen – Georgia’s dumb move is going to cost Atlanta businesses dearly. This is coming at a crucial time when people are starting to recover economically from the impact of everything being closed down for a year because of COVID. Just as predicted too, this thing is getting mixed reviews depending on who you talk to.

The leaders of a Cobb-based human rights organization on Tuesday called on local solicitors to not prosecute violations for a provision of Georgia’s new voting law that criminalizes handing out water and food to weary voters and praised Major League Baseball for moving its All-Star Game out the state.

“It’s not all about the money,” said Gerald E. Rose, founder and CEO of New Order National Human Rights Organization at a press conference at the Atlanta Braves’ Cobb County stadium. “It’s all about being right. It’s about being wrong.”

About 100 feet away, a piece of the sign that had hung next to Truist Park’s scoreboard sat on a flatbed trailer. It read “Atlanta ALL-STAR,” and had been removed on Monday, the first business day after MLB’s decision.

The local fallout from the removal of the All-Star Game, which will now be played in Denver, Colorado, has taken many forms. Some of the state’s largest and most influential companies have publicly scolded Georgia lawmakers for the legislation.
https://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta-news/more-metro-atlanta-fallout-from-mlbs-all-star-game-relocation/UQTXMKHDFZHMXGNPO7POSHL2MY/

Yeah some cases it’s all about money and then some cases it isn’t. But one thing is for certain – you can’t help but think that this entire thing is completely stupid – and also completely avoidable. Just like the rest of us, we can’t wait for things to fully open from the reeling effects of being fully closed for an entire year. What Brian Kemp did is not the way to go about doing this, and it’s going to cost the state of Georgia dearly.

Georgia's Cobb County estimates that MLB's decision to move the All-Star Game from Atlanta will cost the tourism industry in the area $100 million.

MLB pulled the All-Star Game out of Georgia on Friday in protest of the state’s controversial new voting restrictions, signed into law by Gov. Brian Kemp (R) last month.

The decision was the furthest a company has gone in protest of the legislation.

The law has drawn a wave of backlash from Democrats and voting rights activists who say the new law is a form of voter suppression.

Holly Quinlan, president and CEO of Cobb Travel and Tourism, told CNN in a statement that the “estimated lost economic impact” of the league’s decision is more than $100 million.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/546347-cobb-county-says-removal-of-all-star-game-will-cost-tourism-100m

Yeah holy shit!!! This entire thing is going to cost the state of Georgia a whopping $100 million in lost business revenue! Or is it? Well again, just like the idea of whether or not this was a good idea, how much this is actually going to cost the state of Georgia is also going to change depending on who you talk to. But yeah keep getting your underwear in a wad over non existent voter fraud claims, it’s only going to cost you!

Major League Baseball has found itself at the center of a maelstrom over its decision to relocate this year’s All-Star Game from Atlanta over a new law in Georgia that critics say is a form of voter suppression.

Naturally, Donald Trump didn’t take long to pipe up. He released a statement calling for a boycott of baseball for “interfering with Free and Fair Elections”. Georgia’s Republican governor Brian Kemp, who signed the bill into law, descried the “cancel culture and partisan activists” who are “coming for your business”.

But in recent days the rhetoric has come to focus on a single number: $100m. That’s the “estimated lost economic impact” from the relocation for the state of Georgia according to a statement from Holly Quinlan, president and CEO of Cobb Travel and Tourism.

The full heft of the right-wing media ecosystem has seized on this $100m figure in the days since it surfaced in the hopes of swaying public opinion. In fairness, Stacey Abrams, a one-time Democratic candidate for Georgia governor also spoke of the economic impact of the relocation and the PGA made a similar argument while defending the Masters, which is played in Augusta, Georgia.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/apr/07/mlb-all-star-game-moved-georgia-economic-impact-voting-laws

[font size="8"]Arizona Republicans
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Hey it's another Clip Without Context!

Hey Mike, I believe that the phrase that you are seeking for what you are attempting to do is called "beating a dead horse" and this horse has been beaten to death! Back to our latest entry!

So conservatives seem to be taking their unprecedented defeats in the 2020 election well. In fact there’s at least over 100 ballot measures in 14 different states making it that much harder to vote and making Georgia’s controversial voter laws look like child’s play by comparison. But that’s not what we’re talking about in this entry. We’re talking about Arizona Republicans and their flat out attempts to steal the election yet again. Guys, it’s over! You lost! Get over it and move on! That’s what we’ve been hearing for the last 4 years, it’s time you deal with it as well. But nope, conservatives are that stupid. Remember the Chumbawumba song “I get knocked down but I get up again”? Yeah it seems they’re taking that way too literally.

More than a month after winning a legal battle over access to tabulation machines and 2.1 million ballots from Maricopa County’s 2020 general election, the Republican-led Arizona Senate on Wednesday said it hired four out-of-state companies to conduct a forensic audit and full hand recount.

Wake Technology Services, CyFIR, Digital Discovery and Cyber Ninjas are expected to issue their report in about 60 days, according to a press release.

Senate leadership will not be directly involved with the process.

“The scope of work will include, but is not limited to, scanning all the ballots, a full manual recount, auditing the registration and votes cast, the vote counts, and the electronic voting system,” the release says.
https://ktar.com/story/4242211/arizona-senate-hires-4-companies-to-audit-2020-maricopa-county-election/

Ah you know the old saying, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 700 times, 62 court cases, and 1 SCOTUS case later, you must be a Trump supporter! I mean come on they took this thing to a fucking 6 – 3 SCOTUS and still lost! Shouldn’t that be a clear sign that it’s over? Oh and if you haven’t guessed that Q Anon is involved by now, you’re right. Because one of the ring leaders behind this latest attempt to steal the election is a “Stop The Steal” organizer!

The audit team that Senate President Karen Fann selected to examine the 2020 general election in Maricopa County will be led by a company owned by an advocate of the “Stop the Steal” movement who repeatedly alleged on social media that the election was rigged against former President Donald Trump.

Fann announced on Wednesday that she’d selected four companies to participate in an extensive audit and recount of the election, led by Cyber Ninjas, an Florida-based cybersecurity company. Cyber Ninjas is owned by Doug Logan, who has been an active promoter of baseless conspiracy theories alleging widespread election fraud last year, including in Arizona.

“I’m tired of hearing people say there was no fraud. It happened, it’s real, and people better get wise fast,” read a tweet from a since-suspended account that Logan retweeted on Dec. 31.

Logan was also listed as an expert witness by a man who filed a lawsuit alleging election fraud in Antrim County, Mich., which was the focus of early conspiracy theories due to a human-caused software error that briefly swapped vote totals between Trump and Joe Biden in the heavily Republican county. Among the other expert witnesses were Russell Ramsland and Phil Waldron of Texas-based Allied Security Operations Group, which Fann attempted to hire to conduct the audit, despite an extensive track record of making groundless or demonstrably false allegations about the fraud in the election.
https://www.azmirror.com/2021/03/31/arizona-senate-hires-a-stop-the-steal-advocate-to-lead-2020-election-audit/

And that’s about the appropriate reaction to this! So there’s 4 companies involved in attempting to overturn the 2020 election… AGAIN. And it’s the same bullshit that you’ve heard 100 times before and come on, it’s time to put this to bed. But no let’s keep banging your heads against the desk. This is one of the ultimate circular firing squads out there and as much as we would want to, I don’t expect this shit to go away anytime soon.

The head of a Florida-based technology company who has used social media to promote a range of unfounded election fraud claims and was involved with a previous effort to overturn election results in Michigan has been hired by the Arizona Senate to oversee the recount of Maricopa County's 2.1 million general election ballots.

The company, called Cyber Ninjas, will lead a team that includes three other firms as part of the $150,000 contract the Senate has awarded to conduct an unprecedented audit of the county's election results.

But a deleted Twitter account that appears to belong to Cyber Ninjas founder Doug Logan suggests he has already made up his mind about the security of Arizona's elections. It includes a litany of unsubstantiated allegations about fraud in the last election.

"I’m tired of hearing people say there was no fraud. It happened, it’s real, and people better get wise fast," said one post he shared from another Twitter user around the end of 2020.
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/elections/2021/03/31/cyber-ninjas-founder-doug-logan-pushed-election-fraud-theories/4825258001/

And coincidentally that was the same reaction that I had when I saw that they were going to attempt this again! But here’s the thing guys – it’s going to be expensive. Although apparently money is no object to you. It’s going to waste time, but it looks like you have plenty of that. And while the republicans are screaming voter fraud, it looks like they’re about to commit some real voter intimidation, and that’s a far more serious crime. Seriously, you have better odds of winning the Powerball than you do finding an actual case of voter fraud in America.

Arizona Senate Republicans’ plans to recount Maricopa County’s 2020 presidential vote face a new legal challenge.

In a letter emailed Tuesday to the Senate’s hired auditors, attorneys for the non-profit voting-rights group Protect Democracy and three Phoenix firms warn that the auditors’ plan to knock on doors to search for voters likely violates state and federal law.

The lawyers say lawsuits could follow if the audit proceeds as planned.

“These tactics - no matter their intent - constitute illegal voter intimidation and might expose your companies to both civil and criminal penalties,” according to the letter to the four firms working on the audit.

"Should you proceed with your current proposed Statement of Work or engage in any other conduct that intimidates Arizona voters, your companies may be named as defendants in federal civil rights lawsuits, thereby exposing you to money damages, the payment of attorneys’ fees, and court injunctions. The same conduct also may expose your companies, officers, and employees to criminal penalties."
https://www.12news.com/article/news/politics/legal-challenge-to-arizona-gops-election-auditors-warns-against-voter-intimidation/75-b77bf362-0c2f-4165-ad96-bbb5bbf750e4

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Small Pizza Joint, Big Sanctions
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It's another Clip Without Context!

Yeah no, Gordon, that was the last guy's agenda, and I'm pretty sure he was on Satan's payroll. Satan's Payroll - great band, by the way. Saw them at the Troubadour last year. It's time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Now that it’s been 3 months removed from the end of the Donald J. Trump administration, we’re learning just how much damage this administration did in just four short years. They’ve broken the system beyond repair, and that’s precisely what they set out to do. One of the things this administration broke was our many international relations, which are going to take a long time to repair. And this is one of those things we can’t wait for the movie of this story. Because it’s certifiably insane and we can’t help but wonder what actually happened? Well if you do some investigating you’ll find it’s a variable clusterfuck of events that led to this. What happened was that Trump mistook a small Italian pizza joint in Verona, Italy for an international oil conglomerate.

There are bad Mondays, there are really bad Mondays, and then there's the Monday that Alessandro Bazzoni had earlier this year. The 45-year-old, who owns a restaurant and pizzeria in Verona, Italy, got a call from his banker who told him that there were "more than a few problems" with his three accounts.

According to La Repubblica, Bazzoni abandoned the risotto he'd been preparing, and went immediately to the bank, Banca Popolare dell'Emilia Romagna, where he learned that all of his accounts had been blocked by the U.S. government. "I asked them if they were making fun of me but nobody laughed," he said. "And in fact there was really nothing to laugh about."

Apparently on the last day of Donald Trump's presidency, the U.S. Treasury put sanctions on three individuals and more than a dozen businesses that had "ties to a network attempting to evade United States sanctions on Venezuela's oil sector," and that were connected to Petróleos de Venezuela (PdVSA), the Venezuelan state-owned oil and natural gas company.

"Bazzoni [...] is a core facilitator of the network, connecting Elemento and Swissoil with PdVSA and Saab. Bazzoni, an Italian citizen, has been instrumental in coordinating the purchase and sale of Venezuelan-origin crude oil from PdVSA," the Treasury wrote. "Bazzoni was designated today for operating in the oil sector of the Venezuelan economy and because he has materially assisted, sponsored, or provided financial, material, or technological support for, or goods or services to or in support of, PdVSA."
https://www.foodandwine.com/news/italian-restaurant-accidentally-faced-u-s-sanctions-after-being-mistaken-for-oil-trafficker

Except that it wasn’t Trump’s first day, it was his last. And he was determined to make Venezuela public enemy number 1, apparently because he didn’t have much else to do. But anyway with 7 billion people in the world it’s pretty easy to see that someone could have the same name as a reclusive oil billionaire who dominates industry trade. Even someone like the owner of a small mom and pop pizza restaurant, but at least get the name right before you phone it in.

The Trump administration accidentally slapped sanctions on an Italian restaurant and a graphic design studio before the former president left office, The Guardian reported.

On former President Donald Trump's last day of office, he ordered that sanctions be imposed on a network of Venezuelan oil firms and individuals associated with the state oil company — Petroleos de Venezuela (PDVSA).

This was part of a long-term economic embargo on Venezuela, intended to put an end to President Nicolas Maduro's regime.

However, an unfortunate mistake meant that two Italian business owners, who shared the same name as a man involved in the Venezuelan oil trade, had their businesses targeted in the crackdown.
https://www.businessinsider.com/italy-trump-sanctioned-a-pizzeria-in-final-blunder-2021-4

So there’s so much more to this story. Apparently the US – Venezuela sanctions had a specific target: Venezuela’s prime minister Nicolas Maduro – who we’re pretty sure is one evil dude, and there may have been good intentions of hitting him with sanctions. Though our current leader at the time really wasn’t much better. But they could have at least done the research before hitting a mom and pop pizza owner with sanctions.

In 2019, Trump’s government imposed sanctions on Venezuela’s state oil company, Petroleos de Venezuela (PDVSA), in an attempt to force the resignation of president Nicolás Maduro, who the US accused of corruption, human rights violations and rigging his 2018 re-election. On his last day in office, Trump sanctioned a network of oil firms and individuals tied to PDVSA.

Bazzoni, the restaurant owner, discovered his company’s name – AMG SAS Di Alessandro Bazzoni & C – was on the blacklist during a visit to his bank on 19 January, the day before Trump left office and the new US president, Joe Biden, was sworn in.

“When I heard that my current accounts had been blocked, I thought it was a joke,” Bazzoni told Corriere della Sera. “These are already difficult times for us restaurant owners, the last thing I needed was to have my accounts blocked.”

Bazzoni told the newspaper he solved the problem himself, “by entering my data on a special digital platform of the US government”. He added: “While I was at it I managed to get a visa until 2023.”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/apr/02/italian-restaurant-owner-sanctioned-trump

So there are two men named Alessandro Bazzoni – one an Italian pizza restaurant owner, and the other an international oil billionaire -were both put on an international sanctions list, and the restaurant owner found out about it the hard way. But in terms of everything the Trump administration has done, this will forever be remembered as one of the biggest blunders in his administration, and it’s completely full of huge blunders. The biggest blunders ever. Big, huge blunders.

The Trump administration, known specifically for its competence, accidentally imposed sanctions on a graphic design studio and an Italian pizzeria before the neon orange creature, Trump himself, left office. Business Insider has the scoop on one of his last, if not final, fuckups in office.

On his last day in office, Trump ordered that sanctions be slapped onto a network of Venezuelan oil firms and individuals associated with a state-owned company known as Petroleos de Venezuela. One of the individuals named is the sanction is named Alessandro Bazzoni, and you can probably guess where this is headed.

Alessandro Bazzoni, who owns SeriGraphicLab in Sardinia, Italy, told The Guardian that he had been blacklisted by the US Department of the Treasury, although he declined to comment further. And the same thing happened to a pizzeria owner, again named Alessandro Bazzoni, in the Italian city of Verona.

Pizzeria Bazzoni (not graphic designer Bazzoni) told his local newspaper, Corriere della Sera, “When I heard that my current accounts had been blocked, I thought it was a joke.” But nobody was joshin’ Bazzoni, because it was the real deal. “These are already difficult times for us restaurant owners,” he said. “The last thing I needed was to have my accounts blocked.” While he hasn’t received an apology, his name has been removed from the sanctions list.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/final-act-office-trump-accidentally-154700308.html

g

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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It's yet another Clip Without Context!

My answer to the "Biden stumbled up the stairs" argument? Trump killed 550,000 people and sent the US economy into a tailspin! Fuck off, creepy weird Christian goth guy! Now on to Holy Shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the VENMO collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair virtual congregation! We live in some very strange and very awkward times. My advice is to ride it out and wait for next week’s wacky adventure. Because this week, while our brothers and sisters on the conservative side of things are screaming about “cancel culture”, we’d like to take this time to remind them that Christianity is the *ORIGINAL* cancel culture! I mean even though our good LAWRD and savior, JAYSUS, states “judge not lest ye be judged”, those people are participating in what might be the ultimate circular firing squad. So is it Christianity that’s doing the canceling or is Christianity the one that is being canceled? Well like I said it’s the original circular firing squad and it works the same for both sides!

Cancel culture is the driving force of our times wedded to the objective of undermining and replacing our traditional Christian-based heritage. Let’s compare the givens of the cancel culture with some Biblical reflections on the issue of the human heart and human nature and the proper type of world system.

In terms of politics, the cancel culture embraces globalism over traditional Christian-based nationalism. Key to building legitimacy for globalism rests with popularizing the assumption that the heart of man, in the deeper philosophical sense, is good by definition. This links definitively to the drive underway to delegitimize objectivity and classical reason in favor of a focus on “re-imagining” reality. The re-imagining process then, entails letting the feelings or emotions flow freely, unrestrained by reason.

The Bible view on the nature of the human heart, without God, is very different from that of the cancel culture. For example, Mark 7:21-23 states that “from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride foolishness: All these evil things come from within and defile the man.”

For the Biblical view on heart-based “re-imagining”, consider Romans 1:21-22: “… when they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful, but became-- vain in their imaginations — and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.”
https://www.itemonline.com/opinion/at-issue-cancel-culture-vs-christianity/article_2ebba753-be1b-5687-9cfa-c3d80b010c2f.html

That’s because they’re CANCELED! Oh wait, nobody is cancelling anything. Here’s the thing though – this is what Rep Boebert said. Yes I know this woman is the craziest of the crazy but we have to talk about this for a minute. Now here’s the thing – you are aware that GAWD literally canceled an entire city in the Bible, right? Do you not remember the tale of the righteous Gamorah and the sinful Sodom? And do you not know what happened there?

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) on Monday compared herself to biblical figures who she said were similar to her in their purported opposition to "cancel culture."

Boebert made her remarks at a town hall meeting in Montrose, Colorado.

"I refuse to bow to the cancel mob," Boebert said, a reference to recent Republican complaints about the removal of Dr. Seuss books containing racist images and the renaming of Mr. Potato Head toys to be gender-neutral as the GOP struggles to counteract President Joe Biden's popularity.

Boebert said "cancel culture" is "something that has been around since the beginning of time."

"Go back to the book of Genesis: Cain canceled Abel. He didn't like the sacrifices he was giving to God and he canceled him," Boebert told supporters.
https://americanindependent.com/lauren-boebert-cancel-culture-colorado-bible-cain-abel/

Yes and I suggest that you read those because there’s far more instances of your “cancel” culture happening in the Bible! And come on really cancel culture doesn’t really work both ways. If you don’t want to be canceled, maybe I don’t know, don’t put yourself in the position to be canceled? See how easy that is? Yeah just don’t say batshit crazy stuff and you’ll be fine! But no these people continue to do that and the cycle will repeat itself. But it’s not us, it’s you.

Joining host Alex Marlow on the “Breitbart News Daily” radio program Tuesday, conspiracy theorist and far-right activist Mike Cernovich criticized so-called cancel culture, encouraging conservatives who suffered the indignity of having journalists report what they said on Twitter to cancel liberals in turn. More generally, he encouraged pretty much everybody else on the right to join in the lib-cancelling fun.

The hue and cry over this purported canceling has grown ever louder since a number of high-profile hard-right personalities saw their Twitter and Facebook accounts terminated in the wake of the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol building.

Cernovich claims to be a victim of cancel culture—the phrase used by conservatives to slam what they see as liberals’ propensity for encouraging criticism and boycotts of anyone who expresses ideas that liberals find repugnant. Cernovich, for his part, was broadly criticized for boorish behavior, including the hounding of women online in the misogynist harassment campaign known as Gamergate, boosting the “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory, encouraging sexual assault, and making racist comments. He once claimed, “Rape via an alpha male is different from other forms of rape,” and said about 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, “He got got before he was able to rape anyone.”

Nevertheless, Marlow brought Cernovich on to discuss the cancel issue, claiming it’s only a matter of time conservatives are thrown in jail.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/in-critique-of-cancel-culture-mike-cernovich-urges-conservatives-to-cancel-liberals/

Yeah because canceling each other is what JAYSUS would want now, isn’t it? I mean it’s the ultimate circular firing squad here. But here’s the thing – no matter how many times you cry “wolf” at the subject of cancel culture, keep in mind that religion is the ultimate apex of cancel culture. And I’m sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS doesn’t want now. But the more you scream about it, the more it will ultimately come for you!

Liking a tweet is technically free, but one Alabama megachurch is paying a hefty price.

This month, Chis Hodges, senior pastor of Church of the Highlands, an evangelical congregation with 60,000 members spread across 24 locations, came under fire after screenshots were shared online showing the pastor liking several posts by Charlie Kirk, a controversial pro-Trump activist.

The posts in question were considered racially insensitive and, among other things, questioned whether white privilege actually exists.

These actions sparked outcry from Birmingham residents, including the pastor of at least one black church who was already displeased that Hodges’ church has been planting white congregations in black neighborhoods to which they had no connection.

Hodges attempted to quell the furor by deleting his social media accounts and tearfully apologizing to his congregation, but Birmingham’s Board of Education, which leased two public high schools to the church, was unconvinced.
https://religionnews.com/2020/06/17/evangelicals-perfected-cancel-culture-now-its-coming-for-them/

So it’s projection – the more you scream about cancel culture, the more you might be hiding something ugly! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots
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Hey everyone it’s time for one of our patented clips without context!

Is it me or does this guy look like he plays in a goth band and then moonlights at cemeteries on the weekend? Now it’s time for Explaining Jokes To Idiots!

It’s the segment where we in the comedy business explain the concept of humor to people who just don’t quite get it. And there’s a lot of that this week whether it’s Mike Huckabee attempting to throw shade and coming off as extremely racist, Chet Hanks declaring that the summer of 2021 is a “White Boy Summer”, Charles Barkley schooling everyone on divisive politics, or Sharon Osbourne claiming that her comments on The Talk weren’t racist! There’s so much that we don’t even know where to start with the headlines this week. But you know what? Before we get into the heart of this mess – and there’s so many stupid people saying stupid things that it’s almost impossible to pick a starting point. But let’s get into what Charles Barkley said first – before proving the points made by everyone else. So Mr. Barkley made a point about politicians being divisive. Let’s see where he stands on that issue:

Ahead of yesterday’s Final Four matchup between Baylor and Houston, Charles Barkley took the opportunity to share his thoughts on race relations in the United States. His response came after a video was shown of President Kennedy announcing the news of Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination in 1968.

Believing that most people, black or white, are awesome people, Chuck placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of politicians on both sides of the aisle for intentionally dividing people:
“I think most white people and black people are great people. I really believe that in my heart.

But I think our system is set up for our politicians, whether they are Republicans or Democrats, to make us not like each other and so they can keep their grasp of money and power. They divide and conquer.
I truly believe in my heart that most white people and black people are awesome people, but we are so stupid following our politicians.

Whether they are Republicans or Democrats and their only job is ‘hey, let’s make these people not like each other. We don’t live in their neighborhoods, we all got money. Let’s make whites and blacks not like each other. Let’s make the rich and poor not like each other. Let’s scramble the middle class.’
https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2021/04/04/charles-barkley-slams-divisive-politicians-who-divide-and-conquer-to-keep-their-grasp-of-money-and-power/

So that’s exactly what he said. Now let’s put the context of what he said into some perspective. Starting with our old buddy Mike Huckabee, who we’ve previously called Twitter’s Worst Comedian (see: Top 10 #2-18 ). This week he said something so jaw dropping, stunningly racist that he got repeatedly raked over the coals for it. But in the eyes of conservatives? Oh it was just a harmless joke. Ha ha ha ha ha…

Former Arkansas governor and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee came under criticism Saturday for a tweet attacking Major League Baseball and several corporations that many found bigoted and insensitive.

"I’ve decided to 'identify' as Chinese. Coke will like me, Delta will agree with my 'values' and I’ll probably get shoes from Nike & tickets to @MLB games. Ain’t America great?" Huckabee wrote.

Huckabee's tweet was quickly condemned as racist, as many Asian Americans and anti-hate speech advocates have pointed to anti-Chinese rhetoric as a key driver in rising anti-Asian hate – and hate crimes – in the U.S.

The New Georgia Project, a voting rights group based in Georgia, called the tweet "openly racist," while others called the tweet "hateful," "disgraceful" and "antithetical to the gospel."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2021/04/04/former-arkansas-gov-mike-huckabee-issues-racist-tweet-mlb-backlash/7082664002/

Holy shit!!!! Now that’s the serious side of racism, and Huckabee got called out on it. Remember when Jon Stewart and Conan O’Brien were fighting over this guy? I wonder if they regret their decision. So that said, let’s take a look at the lighter, more playful side of casual racism. I’m looking at you, Chet Hanks. This is white male toxicity and Barstool culture gone absolutely haywire. Do we really need any more of this shit? We need less of it!

Chet Hanks, son of the Hollywood actor Tom Hanks, has been criticized for using a “racist” font on his new collection of merchandise which is also controversially called White Boy Summer.

His black and white range of clothes, which include hoodies, T-shirts, shorts, tank tops, leggings, caps and bike shorts, has been called out online for its use of a Gothic-style font that is close to the one used by white nationalists. It’s also similar to the Fraktur fonts, which were used in Nazi Germany most prominently on the cover of Hitler’s Mein Kampf book.

“Hmm unfortunately the merch looks aggressively racist,” wrote one commentator on Twitter, while another wrote: “Jesus. When I think of typefaces white people should avoid, anything remotely calligraphic/blackletter looking pops immediately to mind, especially if it’s going to include the word ‘White’.” While on Hanks’s official Instagram a user said: “Proud Boys are gonna buy these tf up.” The Proud Boys are a far-right US group and in September fashion line Fred Perry withdrew their polo shirts which had been adopted by them.

Hanks, who raps under the moniker Chet Haze and has acted in the TV shows Shameless and Empire, came up with the term “White Boy Summer” on Friday – a play on the Megan Thee Stallion song from 2019 Hot Girl Summer.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2021/mar/31/tom-hanks-son-chet-criticized-racist-font-white-boy-summer

Fonts are racist? I had no idea! And I mean come on let’s take a look at where “white boy summer” comes from. It’s like starting a protest movement to counter a protest movement by changing a few words around… oh wait, that happened! And by the way you know what we say around here – if you have to ask it’s probably racist! But here’s what happens when you attempt to pass off racism as a joke – you get taken down like Sharon Osbourne. And yeah, don’t be Sharon Osbourne.

Sharon Osbourne is continuing to deny the mounting allegations of racism and bullying against her.

On Tuesday, journalist Yashar Ali published a report alleging that Osbourne, 68, referred to her former The Talk co-host Julie Chen as "wonton" and "slanty eyes," citing multiple unnamed sources, including another former The Talk co-host, Leah Remini.

Osbourne called the claims "crap, all crap," in an interview first given to Daily Mail Wednesday, (PEOPLE confirmed the veracity of the quotes, and Osbourne shared a similar statement), but repeated the racist language, adding "Everyone's got an opinion or a story like the wonton story. It's like f--- off with your f------ wonton story. F--- off!"

"Of course, it's a pile on. People want to add fuel to the fire and it comes with the territory and that's fine," she said.
https://people.com/tv/sharon-osbourne-repeats-racial-slur-in-new-denial-racism-allegations-the-talk-mount/

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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It's time for another Clip Without Context!

To which we say - "Good luck with that one, Rick!" Now onto Conspiracy Corner - time to break out those tin foil hats!

Welcome back to the segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable – Conspiracy Corner! We are coming to you live from our underground bunker in an undisclosed location deep in the New Mexico badlands. And that’s where we are staying. Our location is off the grid. In fact it’s so off the grid that there’s no way that we could take selfies and post them on social media because we have extremely spotty Wifi reception here. Of course you know that when conservatives talk about “Big Tech” they really have no idea what it actually does. And when you have an app like Parler that’s known for being vehemently toxic, what happens when you get a bunch of really angry people in the same room together? Why they only get more angry of course! And that of course causes Parler to take action, because no one wants to be considered a “high risk client” on their bank’s credit application!

Parler, a social network popular among conservatives, is claiming that it repeatedly warned the FBI that there could be violence on January 6. The app sent a letter to the House Oversight Committee on Thursday saying it developed “formal lines of communication” with the FBI to refer violent threats made on its platform.

Days and weeks before rioters pushed their way into the U.S. Capitol, Parler says it referred violent content to the FBI more than 50 times, including specific threats being planned.

“Parler even alerted law enforcement to specific threats of violence being planned on the Capitol,” the letter said.

One post Parler said it forwarded to the FBI called for an “armed force of 150,000” to “react to the congressional events of January 6th,” Parler said. Another read, “This is the final stand” and “I trust the American people will take back the USA with force and many are ready to die.” Another post claimed then-President Trump “needs us to cause chaos.”
https://www.winknews.com/2021/03/28/social-network-parler-says-it-warned-fbi-before-capitol-riot/

So yeah the owners of Parler warned the FBI a whopping 50 times that some shit was going to brew before it happened! Guess you could say this is a… conspiracy? Hey that’s the name of this segment! I mean we specialize in conspiracies! And here’s the thing – let me explain something about free speech to you guys. See all forums – public and private have this thing called a “terms of service” agreement – and if you violate it you get banned. Oh fuck it, I will just let Parler explain it.

However, Parler's attempt to pile on Facebook while its CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, was being admonished by Congress members seems to have backfired.

"So you are snitches over nothing but democrat conspired bs???" commented one user on Parler's own post about the letter to it's Parler profile page.

The comments section quickly filled up with some of Parler's users accusing the right wing social media platform of "ratting out" the site's own members.

"SO PARLER IS NO BETTER THAN FAKEBOOK AND TWITTER.....?" posted another user in reply. "This is NOT an example of a free speech platform. Parler is a fraud," claimed yet another.

The reaction to the news that Parler "colluded" with the FBI in order to report violent content was so strong on the right wing platform, the company was compelled to release a statement addressing those outraged users.
https://mashable.com/article/parler-first-amendment-fbi-users-outraged/

So even an entire platform dedicated to saving conservatives from the evil tyrannical clutches of “big tech” couldn’t explain free speech! And by the way – not having Parler on the Apple App Store is hurting the platform big time. So much in fact that it’s actually starting to police content. See guys? You’ll soon learn that there’s no such thing as truly free speech on the internet. Want it? Then start your own ISP, your own cell phone provider, and build your own cell phone operating system and app store. That might take a few billion or so.

It hasn’t gone well so far. On March 10, Apple denied Parler’s application to return to the App Store, saying the platform hadn’t done enough to strengthen its moderation practices after the Capitol riots. Bloomberg reports that along with its rejection letter, Apple sent Parler a litany of screenshots of its users posting hate speech. “As you know, developers are required to implement robust moderation capabilities to proactively identify, prevent, and filter this objectionable content to protect the health and safety of users,” Apple reportedly wrote.

In a statement the next day, Parler’s chief policy officer, Amy Peikoff, stressed the lengths to which the platform has gone in recent months to implement new moderation practices to appease Apple. “We worked tirelessly to adopt enhanced protocols for identifying and removing this type of content,” Peikoff wrote. “We have since engaged Apple to show them how we’ve incorporated a combination of algorithmic filters and human review to detect and remove content that threatens or incites violence.”

Peikoff also wrote that Parler has rolled out all-new moderation features that weed out “personal attacks based on immutable and irrelevant characteristics such as race, sex, sexual orientation, or religion.” Mainstream social platforms like Facebook and Twitter have long since adopted algorithms to block exactly these forms of hate speech (although they tend to use language like “protected categories” rather than “immutable and irrelevant characteristics”). The main difference is that Parler gives its users the ability to opt out of its hate speech filter so they can “curate their own feeds as they choose.”
https://qz.com/1982895/parler-needs-apple-so-much-its-actually-moderating-more-content/

Yeah probably. But being “deplatformed” on Apple isn’t the only thing that’s hurting Parler. Aside from users repeatedly making death threats to everyone they don’t agree with including each other, what could cause the demise of Parler is in fact – the original owner of Parler, Greg Metze himself. This dude is broke. And what Mike Lindell should learn form this venture is that running a social media platform isn’t cheap, and you will eventually have to start policing content before the feds come knocking at your door!

The former CEO of Parler, John Matze, announced Thursday that he had launched a GoFundMe page to support legal fees "associated with [his] departure from Parler."

"I also am likely heading into a Congressional investigation into Parler, and it is uncertain whether Parler will indemnify me for the inevitable costs of defending this investigation," Matze wrote on the GoFundMe page. The right-wing social media app is embroiled in a Congressional investigation following the January attacks on the US Capitol.

Matze said he will use the funds to cover legal fees related to the Congressional inquiry, security costs, travel expenses associated with any hearings, and "repayment for any legal fees associated with defense and prosecution of ongoing litigation and negotiations."

Matze's fundraising page has a $150,000 goal, and had raised over $3,000 as of Thursday afternoon.
https://www.businessinsider.com/former-parler-ceo-john-matze-launches-gofundme-for-legal-fees-2021-4

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Now it's yet another Clip Without Context!

Now that is just... that's just certifiably batshit crazy. Really, I got nothing. Now it's time for People Are Dumb!

Hit it!

So of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. So who is dumb this week you might ask? Well first off you know that I love a good fast food rage story. Seriously I collect and trade these with my friends. Give me a story where McDonalds runs out of chicken nuggets and a customer goes crazy and trashes the restaurant and starts cursing out employess – and I’m in! I mean seriously why have they not made a reality show about fast food rage? I mean come on reality show producers, it’s there! And it will be far more entertaining than another show starring the Kardashian family. For this we turn to the great state of Minnesota where a botched burglary took place after a botched fast food order.

Angered that the mother of his son got him a Quarter Pounder instead of a Big Mac from McDonald’s, a Minnesota man allegedly argued with the woman before throwing her to the ground and then swiping money from the victim’s purse, police charge.

Responding to a flurry of 911 calls about a disturbance Sunday night at a residence in Mankato, a cop was told by the victim that she was assaulted by Mohamed Aboubaker, a Minneapolis resident with a lengthy rap sheet.

According to a criminal complaint, the 39-year-old Aboubaker “was visiting for the last few days” with the victim (the pair are parents to a three-year-old boy).

The woman told police that Aboubaker was upset because she got him “a quarter pounder instead of a big mac from McDonald’s.” An argument ensued and Aboubaker allegedly “threw her to the ground against the dresser.” The woman said that “her son was in the room and was screaming while this occurred.”

The victim said that after Aboubaker (pictured above) went into the kitchen and removed money from her purse, she confronted him and sprayed him with a can of “Mace” (which actually was hornet spray).
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/big-mac-assault-case-375698

Next up – dumb MAFIA criminals! There was a Mafia fugitive on the run, wanted for bank fraud in the Netherlands. What happens next is about as dumb as it gets. Well federal investigators in the Netherlands managed to track this guy to – the Dominican Republic. And how did they track this guy nearly 2,000 miles away? By his wife’s Youtube cooking channel. That’s right – his wife ran a cooking channel on Youtube. That had subscribers. Yes, this is dumb!

Marc Feren Claude Biart, an alleged member of a powerful Italian Mafia organization, was able to evade the authorities for seven years, but he couldn’t his escape his love of cooking.

And that’s what ultimately led to his capture last week.

Biart, who authorities say is a member of southern Italy’s 'Ndrangheta crime syndicate, was tracked down after he and his wife started a YouTube channel in which they posted Italian cooking tutorials.

Biart hid his face in the videos, but police were able to identify him by his distinctive tattoos, they said Monday.

Biart, 53, was wanted since 2014 for allegedly trafficking cocaine into the Netherlands. He fled to Costa Rica and then a couple of years later settled in the beach town of Boca Chica, Dominican Republic, authorities said.

He was arrested last week in the Dominican Republic and extradited to Italy, arriving in Milan on Monday, police said.

Authorities said Biart and his wife led a quiet life in the Dominican Republic and kept their distance from the Italian community on the Carribean island.

It’s not clear how long the cooking channel had been online.
https://www.baynews9.com/fl/tampa/us-world-news/2021/03/30/youtube-cooking-videos-lead-to-capture-of-italian-mafia-fugitive

Next up – of course we’re going to turn to the Sunshine State. Where would we be without Florida? I know you can post the flying cars graphic but that sounds about right. Anyway this first story concerns some stupid hackers who got caught. Although one could say it’s the school’s fault for making the homecoming queen vote in an online poll – and for that you reap what you sow. But still this is a “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” kind of deal.

A Florida teen was crowned homecoming queen at her high school last fall after the girl and her mother, an assistant elementary school principal, conspired to rig the student vote through an in-house school computer system and give her the title, investigators allege.

Now the 17-year-old senior and her mom, Laura Rose Carroll, 50, an assistant principal at Bellview Elementary School in Escambia County, have been arrested and face multiple criminal charges.

According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, 117 votes flagged as fraudulent in the October 2020 election for Tate High School's Homecoming Court came from the same IP address within a short period of time.

FDLE investigators linked that address to Carroll's residence and cell phone, allegedly finding evidence of "unauthorized access" from there to the school district's FOCUS student information network, with 246 votes cast for the Homecoming Court.

"Multiple students reported that the daughter described using her mother's FOCUS account to cast votes," FDLE said in a news release.
https://people.com/crime/assistant-principal-daughter-allegedly-hacked-student-accounts-steal-homecoming-queen-vote/

Next up – face tattoos. Look people, no matter how tempting it may be – don’t get one. Because face tattoos are a real judge of character and something that can easily identify you if you’re fingered in a crime. This dolt from Florida (obviously) had a very easily identifiable face tattoo - *AND* - got caught doing something ridiculously stupid. So, and I say this without citing the law, might be what one might call a “double whammy”.

A Florida man was arrested on Sunday after he stole an ambulance but got it stuck in mud a few miles away.

According to a press release from the Hernando County Sheriff's Office in Florida, on Sunday, authorities responded to a call of a stolen ambulance near the area of Port Court in Spring Hill.

The ambulance is owned by the Hernando County Fire Rescue and Emergency Services, according to the release. At around 12:27 p.m. local time, the ambulance was parked in the ambulance bay of the Oak Hill Hospital in Brooksville, Florida, when it was taken.

The ambulance was left unsupervised while parked in the ambulance bay as the operating crew was in the process of transporting a patient from the ambulance to inside the hospital. ................(more)

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-steals-ambulance-gets-it-stuck-mud-few-miles-away-1581011

Because whenever I think face tattoos, Mike Tyson immediately comes to mind! Next up – peeping. And just like face tattoos – as tempting as they may be – don’t do them! And this of course comes to us yet again from the Sunshine State. Yeah there was a strange lack of weird news this week. But really if you’re even thinking of doing your best Quagmire impression, everyone is turned off by them. Maybe even Quagmire.

A Florida man allegedly caught in the act peeping into a woman’s window is a bit worse for the wear after trying to get away from deputies.

Lee County Deputies say they got a call about someone creeping around homes in Fort Myers. When they rolled up to the scene, deputies say they found 40-year-old Hugo Topete Alcatraz with his hands cupped around his eyes looking through the window. His face was pressed up against the glass. Deputies say he took off running, but he didn’t get far. He was cuffed and taken to the hospital for what deputies describe as “minor injuries.” His mug shot shows a big bandage strapped across his head and scratches on his face.

He’s charged with Voyeurism for secretly observing the victim where she had a reasonable expectation of privacy. He’s also charged with Resisting Officer without Violence and Loitering or Prowling. He was taken to the Lee County Jail. ..........(more)

https://www.wkrg.com/state-regional/this-is-what-a-florida-man-looks-like-after-he-was-allegedly-busted-peeping-in-a-womans-window/

Finally this week – look people, I know that we’re getting seriously restless in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and we’re so close to being out of the woods. If you do venture out in public, at least play by the rules! We’ve been living under lockdown for a year and if you don’t play by the rules, expect those lockdowns to extend to another 2 – 3 years. But really this guy takes the cake for selfish assholes being selfish assholes.

A man who was arrested after refusing a temperature screening at Disney Springs in Florida told authorities that he couldn't be told to leave because he had spent $15,000 on his vacation.

The man, Kelly Sills, a tourist from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, bypassed the Orlando attraction's medical screening in February and refused to get his temperature checked when asked by Disney employees, according to a report from the Orange County Sheriff's Department.

Body camera video released recently showed Sills refusing to leave when asked by law enforcement.

"I spent $15,000 to come here," Sills said after a deputy told him that he was officially considered to be trespassing. Deputies and a security manager at Disney Springs had approached Sills outside the Boathouse restaurant, according to the police report.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/i-spent-15-000-man-arrested-disney-resort-florida-after-n1262996

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State
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It's time for our final Clip Without Context for the week!

First off what's with these weirdos and calling themselves prophets? Get off your high horse! And second, have you actually read the Constitution? I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. And we're off to Stupidest State!

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back to Stupidest State 2021! Things are getting really exciting as the Elite 8 is almost set, and we have just one more round to go before the Final Four! Last week – we some exciting developments as Texas knocked off Florida to advance to the Gun Nut Conference championships! Meanwhile, over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, we had another upset as Wyoming’s buzzer beater sent conference favorite Kansas home! This week, we return to the Batshit Conference to see league favorites Georgia and Kentucky duke it out to play Michigan in the Batshit Conference championship, while over in the Family Values Conference, Mississippi will bring an epic holy war to their neighbors to the north, Arkansas! Two of these teams will advance, the other two will go home! Let’s go to the floor!

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference Finals: Georgia Vs Kentucky [/font]

[font size="2"]Georgia [/font]

The Peach State is back for another round and they’ve got better and crazier since their appearance in the 2018 Stupidest State contest! Since then they have inexplicably reelected governor Brian Kemp, and he’s gone full asshole. Conservatives don’t admit that they like to lose even when they get their asses handed to them in a major election. But what is making Georgia so crazy right now? Don’t worry – we’re heavily following the MLB incident. But as I have said, you can take Georgia out of the red, but you can’t take the red out of Georgia. Want proof? The Nazi party is making a comeback!

“I feel vaguely threatened and disconcerted by this defacement of my property, however minor it is in the big picture,” Zucker Saltz said.

Later, a neighbor found the same sticker on a yard sign a few doors down.

Cas Mudde, a UGA political science professor who studies right-wing extremism, confirmed that the symbol is a Black Sun, also known as a sonnenrad or sunwheel swastika.

Originally a pagan symbol, it was adopted by Heinrich Himmler as a way to link Germany to the ancient Norse while incorporating swastika and SS lightning bolt imagery. More recently, it’s become associated with white supremacists like those involved in the 2017 Charlottesville riot.

Read more: https://flagpole.com/news/in-the-loop/2021/03/17/stickers-with-nazi-symbol-spotted-in-athens/

Hey don’t be a stupid, be a smartie! Come and join the Nazi party! You know what else makes Georgia flat out batshit crazy? The pornography industry! And Georgia loves them some porn. They love porn so much that a very toxic form of it known as “revenge porn” got so much traction that they actually had to have a bill that would outlaw the practice! Yes, this is a real thing!

On Friday, March 5, 2021, the Georgia Senate passed Senate Bill 78, sponsored by Sen. Harold Jones II (D – Augusta). SB 78 would make it a felony to distribute sexually explicit content on a pornographic website with the intent of harassing or causing financial harm to the victim.

“As Crossover Day has ended, I am pleased to announce that SB 78 has passed the Senate and now heads to the House of Representatives for full passage,” said Sen. Jones II. “Revenge porn, or image-based sexual abuse, is a form of sexual abuse, and it is a serious crime. When a person takes someone’s sexually explicit images and places those images on a pornographic website, their behavior is not adequately addressed by the current misdemeanor punishment. SB 78 raises the punishment and, therefore, will protect many men and women. I am proud to support this piece of legislation.”

First Reader Summary of Senate Bill 78: A BILL to be entitled an Act to amend Part 3 of Article 3 of Chapter 11 of Title 16 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to invasion of privacy, so as to revise the prohibition on electronically transmitting or posting nude or sexually explicit photographs or videos for purposes of harassing the depicted person; to provide for an increased penalty for the electronic transmission or posting to a web page that is accessible to the general public; to provide for related matters; to repeal conflicting laws; and for other purposes.

Read more: https://allongeorgia.com/georgia-state-politics/georgia-senate-passes-anti-revenge-porn-bill/

[font size="2"]Kentucky [/font]

Ah the Bluegrass State. They may have knocked off former governor Matt Bevin, but Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul – both useless wastes of space – still remain! But Kentucky is definitely the home of politicians willing to commit political suicide. Like Mitch McConnell for instance who has to hang onto his political legacy even if it means throwing Trump under the bus! And you know what? He’ll also throw his own political career under the bus if it means saving his own ass. Yes he’s that kind of self-loathing politician and he’s probably also a complete psychopath.

It was no surprise to see Kentucky’s two Senators vote to let their Dear Leader off the hook again. Sen. Rand Paul, who is turning more and more into an ongoing series of jokes on late night TV, is up for re-election in 2022 and has been a steady suck-up since November 2016, when he changed his original opinion on Trump as a “delusional narcissist and an orange-faced windbag.”

McConnell, however, has now contorted himself into a strange pretzel-shaped politician hated by absolutely everyone. For Democrats, his vote to acquit, shortly followed by a fiery speech denouncing Trump is more McConnellian hypocrisy, coming right after his next best in saying he couldn’t convict Trump after his presidency was over when he delayed the trial until his presidency was over. That’s a lot of contorting.

But he’s not fooling the Trumpists, who now call him a RINO. They see through his winks to Trump voters and his nods to corporate donors who now realize that Trump is bad for their brands. Votes that mean one thing and speeches that mean another don’t get you anywhere but stuck.

Everyone sees through him now. He may have helped create the modern Republican party, but when it most needed saving, he was nowhere to be found. He could have given political cover to his colleagues to stand up to Trump and the attack on Jan. 6, but as I wrote before, the monster he helped create was no longer in his control.

Read more: https://www.kentucky.com/opinion/linda-blackford/article249249260.html

And by the way, Kentucky even throws their own basketball team under the bus! Shit I’ve been to Rupp Arena, I have seen games there! You know what? Kentucky takes their basketball seriously. And this sheriff is the kind of asshole who is so glued into the Fox Ministry Of Propaganda that he would even throw the Wildcats under the bus. And you’d better not do that if you ever want to set foot in Lexington!

The sheriff and jailer in Laurel County fumed and held a “burning party” for University of Kentucky basketball apparel after the men’s team knelt during the national anthem Saturday to protest the treatment of Black citizens.

The Knox County Fiscal Court followed the sheriff Monday, demanding that the state reallocate tax dollars given to the university over the demonstration, according to the {Corbin} Times-Tribune.

At the state Capitol in Frankfort, Senate President Robert Stivers wept on the Senate floor Monday over how hurt he was to see the team use the national anthem to make a statement. For those with service members in their families, the players’ actions were hard to absorb even though they were protected by free speech, he said.

Meanwhile, university and athletic leadership expressed support for the players’ self-expression as they held firm Monday despite the criticism. One player said that the team wasn’t surprised by the opposition.

Read more: https://www.kentucky.com/sports/college/kentucky-sports/uk-basketball-men/article248416890.html

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Oh this is a close one and it’s down to the wire. But Georgia has the ball, for 3… it’s good! 10 seconds left on the clock… and they’re gonna run this one out! That is the game! Final score – 89 – 83. Georgia wins by 6 and they will advance to play Michigan in the Batshit Conference Championships!

[font size="4"]Family Values Conference Round 1: Mississippi Vs Arkansas [/font]

[font size="4"]Mississippi [/font]

The Magnolia State is certainly no stranger to the big dance as they’ve represented the Family Values Conference 4 times out of 5. They are currently led by hardcore Jesus freak and die hard Trumpster Tate Reeves. But this is the Family Values conference where abortion laws trump common sense and the church is trying but failing to take over the local government. And here’s what happened when Tate Reeves attempted to enact one of the harshest abortion bans in the entire country. Really this is the stuff of pure fucking evil!

Mississippi’s Republican Gov. Tate Reeves has signed a new bill into law that would protect down syndrome babies from abortion.

According to Faithwire, the Down Syndrome Information Act, also known as Hudson’s Law, requires doctors to provide educational information to parents of preborn children who are newly diagnosed with Down Syndrome.

The bill passed with wide bipartisan support in both state legislative chambers.

The name behind Hudson’s law was taken from Hudson Hartman, a two-year-old Mississippian who has Down Syndrome. Last summer, Gov. Reeves signed another bill, the Life Equality Act, into law banning discrimination abortions based on race, sex, disability, or genetic makeup. At the time, Husdon and his mom both served as lobbyists for the legislation.
https://www.christianheadlines.com/contributors/milton-quintanilla/therefore-choose-life-mississippi-gov-signs-bill-outlawing-abortion-of-down-syndrome-babies.html

Yeah seriously! Boo this man! Although really… boo the people who elected him and put him into office because they’re accessories to this. Make no mistake that the Christian right is getting louder and crazier, and unlike Thanos, we don’t know what his Endgame is. And by the way if you want to know just how pro-life Mississippi is, let’s just say they pick and choose which parts of being pro-life they want to be. Yeah just like the Bible.

Four hunters accused of crossing state lines to cart back more than two dozen wild turkeys collectively owe $48,000 in fines after they pleaded guilty to violating wildlife laws.

A federal judge also banned them from hunting anywhere in the world.

Mississippi hunters Kenneth R. Britt Jr., 51, Tony Grant Smith, 26, Barney Leon Bairfield III, 28, and Dustin Corey Treadway, 28, were sentenced to several years of probation and fined thousands of dollars each on charges of conspiring to kill wild turkeys in excess of the legal limit and illegally transporting the birds across state lines, federal prosecutors said in a news release Wednesday.

“It is my hope that this prosecution sends a strong message that the wanton, indiscriminate killing of the American Wild Turkey, or any animal for that matter, will be met with debilitating and just consequences,” Acting U.S. Attorney Darren LaMarca said in the release.

Read more: https://www.sunherald.com/news/state/mississippi/article249512740.html

[font size="4"]Arkansas [/font]

No one really knows what to call Arkansas – the Natural State, the Land Of Opportunity or the Wonder State. But the Razorbacks are ready to do battle in the Holy War over the Family Values Conference and face Indiana for the championship. The team is led by batshit crazy family values governor Asa Hutchinson (R-Obviously) and their pro-life and pro-Christian credentials are very strong. So strong in fact that the state is one of the first in the country to enact some ultra-strict, shockingly evil laws affecting healthcare for transgender youth. I mean really this is pure fucking evil.

For years now, the Arkansas legislature has devoted inordinate time to discriminating against sexual minorities. Lately, the particular focus has been the few hundred transgender children in the state, a minority often in hiding from fear of family or societal disapproval.

A particularly mean new arrival prompts this (not comprehensive) roundup of the legislature’s not-so-magnificent obsession. Wait for the capper:

Law is still on the Arkansas statute books, though invalidated by the U.S. Supreme Court, to prohibit same-sex marriage. The same for the anti-sodomy law. As with the 1950s seg laws that hung around for decades, hope springs eternal for a reversion to the old ways. (The Arkansas Constitution still permits slavery as punishment for a crime and a proposal by a Black Democrat to remove this provision isn’t likely to make the ballot when amendments are decided. The business lobby must be served first.)

Existing law prohibits local civil rights ordinances. This was passed to prevent cities from protecting LGBT people from discrimination in employment, housing and public services.
https://arktimes.com/arkansas-blog/2021/03/17/fear-and-loathing-at-the-arkansas-legislature-the-anti-lgbt-laws

Oh and if you think that’s evil you ain’t seen nothing yet. In fact the party of morals and values seems to look the other way on hate crimes. That’s right – hate crimes. And we assume that’s because they’re the people who are most likely to commit them. You know what one of my favorite bands, Rage Against The Machine always says – some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses. And the same is true all over the state and probably… Amreica.. DUN DUN DUN!!!

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Oh this wasn’t even a contest! Arkansas routed Mississippi by a score of 27 to take control of the Family Values Conference! Final score: 104 – 77! Wow, what an ass kicking! The Elite 8 is set and it’s going to be hot!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

The Elite 8 is set! When we come back on 4/22, we will have the start of the Elite 8 featuring the Gun Nut Conference Championships! Texas. Idaho. Who has the big guns to shoot their way out of this one and punch a ticket to the Final Four? Stay tuned!

We’re going to take a short break next week. You might have noticed that we played an April Fool’s joke last week by running the entirety of last week’s edition completely backwards. So on our week off next week we will post the forwards edition as it was originally intended to air. Enjoy! See you in two weeks!

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

April 1, 2021

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-9: Rule 80: Don't Invite The Former President To Your Wedding Edition

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Credits

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See you next week!

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3
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16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

[font size="2"]Wyoming [/font]

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Cinnamon Toast Shrimp
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Hey everyone! I don’t know about you but I could really use a drink!

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Q Anon Hot Takes
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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing: Coal Rolling
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It’s time once again to ask:

So coal rolling is just another form of trolling, and if you tell people not to do it, that only makes them want to do it more. That’s enough to make you ask – Coal Rolling:

Well Nike may not endorse these sneakers, but the Church Of SAYTAN does, and I’ll take that endorsement, thank you! Virtual mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates

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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We’re still coming to you from this blank, blue void in the back room of a Burbank comedy club for the foreseeable future. Though this week because it’s that day, we are changing our blue background to whatever pops up on our Windows login screen. First it’s the city of Hong Kong, then it looks like a closeup of a grasshopper… and do we really need a Tucker reaction cam for this one? Come on! OK I brought this on myself! Seriously, Tucker, stop staring at me like that! People keep asking me where is the Wheel of Corruption? Well I assure you the wheel is safe and at some point we will be bringing it out of the vault. But it’s one of those things that requires audience participation. Though next week I might bring back some of our patented clips without context, because I’ve been missing those lately. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do. So I ask you this my fair audience - how is Chet Hanks related to his dad Tom? I mean Tom’s one of the greatest guys in the world. But then there’s Chet Hanks. We may have to explore this in a bit more detail next week because this video is certifiably insane. And I say this as a white male myself – do we really need more “white boy” culture? Is that where we are at in 2021? Look I know everyone including myself missed having a proper summer last year but we’ll get back to that this year. But this is definitely toxic Barstool Sports culture at its’ most toxic. I know he’s going after Megan Thee Stallion here, and I personally couldn’t give less of a shit, but since 2020 didn’t happen we have a lot of making up time, and come on, what’s worse than a rich, privileged white boy who is the son of a famous movie star complaining that his “culture” isn’t being respected? I mean shit you might as well recite the 14 words while you’re at it. What? Suddenly that’s going too far? Even Tucker thinks this is going way too far! Yeah I know we’ve all been cooped up way too long! Fuck you COVID-19! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first here’s a clip of a guy saying that Trump has been secretly ruling everyone:

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-9: Rule 80: Don’t Invite The Former President To Your Wedding Edition

Happy April Fools Day! See you next week!

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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. The Top 10 is posted once a week on Thursdays at 2:00 PM. There is a full archive of all past, present and future Top 10 editions that can be found here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100218599098\ Announcements for our current season schedule are posted in our Best Of editions that appear at the end of each season. Updates are posted regularly on the official Top 10 Mastodon account and the official Holy Shit Mastodon account. The Mastodon accounts are used to announce what's going to be in next week's edition, new content, advertising our segments, and so on. This account will post official Top 10 editions, and any related content including our spinoff series: Holy Shit The Sunday Sermons. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Mastodon: Top10ConIdiots@mstdn.party Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 on Mastodon: ChurchOfTop10@mstdn.party **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508