1. May you wait in line outside the only open grocery store for four hours only to find that there is no food left, save a Pop-Tart that slipped under some shelving. May the Pop-Tart be the weird cherry flavor. May you buy it, cut it into quadrants, and eat it over two days.

...

3. May you record yourself making a snow angel for the first time in your life only to realize that you’re lying on your neighbor’s dog’s frozen deposits. –Forrest Wilder

4. May snow slip off an overhang as you pass underneath it, nailing you right on your noggin while you’re heading outside to pee.

5. May you make direct eye contact with your neighbor during your yard pee.

...

The rest at:
[link:https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/13-curses-to-mutter-against-ted-cruz-while-you-boil-snow-to-drink/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Web%20Social&utm_content=TedCruz13CursesSnowBoil&fbclid=IwAR2iHdmFdtKrBzBmkV4pyXAqcD-VRR5XopC6hZqIMjnM20ANgopYfAq36As|]