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PA_jen

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Gender: Do not display
Home country: USA
Current location: PA
Member since: Sat Jan 9, 2021, 06:56 PM
Number of posts: 1,024

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UPDATE: My Thanksgiving shock

original thread:

https://democraticunderground.com/100217411862

My Stepmother-in-law told me that she was getting my husband's childhood home instead of my Husband when his father pass (hopefully 30 years from now. I do not want to wish the man dead in any sense.)

My Husband was able to talk to his Dad and yes, the Stepmother in law is getting the home but in exchange Husband gets more money.

The father always intended his children-now that 2 have passed away- Husband would inherit the house as well and the estate (money and other assets) being divided equally between Husband and Stepmom. Stepmom wore him down and kept demanding the house so while he was updating the will since the last sibling's death, he gave in but in exchange she had to agree on less money.

We don't know how much the house or estate will be nor do we want to know. His Dad did tell husband that what he is leaving him Husband and I can get a nicer home than the family home. He can get a newer home have it paid off and still have the money for retirement and if he budgets wisely, we won't have to worry about finances. We can set it up like he has it set up as a supplement to our income thru our lives.

Husband wanted the house but is okay with this deal. Husband primarily is happy because someday we can get into a better home than what we are living in now. Someday we will more than likely donate our current house to Habitat for Humanity so they can fix it up properly and give it to a family in need.

I am the one who is being the bitch in a sense. Between the Stepmother speaking ill of the dead and her demand for this house I really want nothing to do with her. I think she knows she shouldn't have said anything until Father-in-Law talked to Husband and keeps trying to do things with me. I tell her I am busy. This gloat and demand of my husband's childhood home just turns my stomach. I know I need to be nice and keep the peace, but it is becoming harder and harder. Any suggestions?

Thank you all for the support and dealing with my whining.

My thanksgiving shock.

Forgive me if this is the wrong place to post. Not sure where to put it and if you will allow me I need to vent and if anyone can give advice I would be grateful.

Little Background. My husband had 2 siblings both have died, and they have died within 3 years of one another. Hubby's youngest sibling passing was very fast unexpected. The sibling was early 30s. Some of you may be aware of the issues with hubby's other sibling's issues. Diabetic with kidney issue-on dialysis and letter we found out due to her abuse substance abuse (alcohol- she had been given the nickname by her co-workers- the functional alcoholic- she developed calcification of brain she was finally declare incompetent to make medical decisions. Hubby's father who tried to ignore the issues didn't want to get involved finally petition the courts for custody knowing Hubby was going to try. But she passed basically 10 months after that happened -early 40s.

Don't get me started about the incompetence and lack of treatment by the local hospital.

Anyways Hubby's father -after his mother-Hubby's grandmother pass got his will in order. His estate would be split between the 3 kids and the stepmother. Hubby as the oldest was named as co-executor with the mother-in-law. Now the family home was supposed to the kids after Stepmother either because unable to live in the house, she passed or decided she didn't want to live there. One of the siblings could either buy out the other two and live there or it would be sold, and sell would be divided between the 3 of them.
After the death of the first sibling the will changed to reflected 3 ways divide and house would go to 2 remaining children. Then when the other sibling because incompetent will it was changed to give her 10 percent of the estate (she was in a nursing home so it would go to her care and needs.) the rest would be divided between hubby and stepmother. In all understandings (and perhaps we had been wrong) it was understood hubby would get the house once stepmom wasn't there in the house.

Thursday I am upstairs with the Stepmom with thanksgiving dinner (The kitchen is quite small, and I've told Hubby if we moved in I would like to remodel the house to an open concept between the living room and kitchen. remodel the footprint of the kitchen a little. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but we just happened to be talking one day.) So, she is "struggling" to cut the turkey breast - mind you I don't eat turkey or chicken but I do cook for hubby and his family from time to time but not this year. - She cut the turkey breast vertically in half and was struggling to make the horizontally. I finally asked Do you want me to cut it.
So I am standing beside her with a knife in my hand cutting the breast and I just asked Had she and the father ever thought of opening up to the living room. Her answer "Well, we had over the years but in 30 years one of her grandchildren can decide what to do with it.
I almost drop the knife and the fucking grin her face as I said but hubby is supposed to get the house. "Not in the latest will."

This woman for the pass 20 years (as long as I have been married to hubby) as whine and bitched that it was unfair, she wasn't getting the house. That it wasn't fair she wouldn't have anything to pass on to her grandchildren.) Hubby has said that his dad and her have gotten into fights about the house. (She is the second wife and moved into the house years after FIL bought it) My husband grew up in that house.

I was so stunned I couldn't think and all I could think was I need to tell my husband. I texted him whenever he was ready, we can go. We left within 30 minutes, and I told him. I asked if his dad had told him the will had been updated which he had been informed during or after all the updates. He said no but it is his father's decision which is correct, but I was angry as hell for my husband. After his parent's pass this house would be the last connection to his family in a sense, The least his father could have done was said look I've decided to give HER the house and here is why, but hubby is hearing this from me because SHE couldn't wait to gloat.

Yesterday morning Hubby got up and probably after time to process the information and he is now upset. He wants to wait for a time to ask his dad why this change he is also wondering what else was changed. Is he going to get less or anything? Did she get it all? I told hubby I know he is upset but when he goes to his dad be calm and explain how important the house was to him for sentimental reasons. He just said I know how I will approach his dad.

He hasn't talked to his dad yet, but should he wait for his dad to say something? Should he confront his dad letting him know SHE should wait to let us know she was getting the house.

I am thinking we should have a Lawyer at the ready in some way so that when Hubby's dad does pass (I pray it is 30 years from now -so he would be at 100. Keep in mind Hubby's dad is the first member of the family history to live pass 65 years -He is 71 now) and the will is finally read, and she starts contenting it we have back up ready.

Okay why is Kohl's using September for a Christmas commercial?

Since we are now being overwhelmed with Christmas commercials, I find myself completely dumbfound at the use of Earth, Wind and Fire's song September being used as a Christmas commercial.







It is a great song September, but it is obvious people aren't listening to the song before deciding to use it in the commercial.

Did the Orange Ball on release hot air yet?

Let him announce it won't stop Me Willis. And I know people have given up on Garland but I have not

On my tablet sorry in advanced.

UPDATE: My husband and his job

Thankfully he didn't get laid off. But the company is hurting badly.

No more overtime. (in past years they would be working overtime from Halloween until the plant yearly shut down in early Dec.)

They let go all temp workers. They also have an entry level position called labor pool 8 people from that employment group let go.

They are running 1 line which means orders are practically nothing and will run just one line rest of the year.

They did indicate plant will shut down Dec 16th and open back up Jan 3rd. I take it as a good sign they have a startup date, but it can change as can the Shutdown date. They will move people around to various departments as needed.

I really want him to look for a new job but His Grandmother and Father in steeled this "You have to be loyal to your company" mindset. This company is close to closing up shot. When the union negotiates the contract management threats to closed up and move the plant to New Jersey to get them to take whatever contract scraps they want to throw at them. Thankfully move people stand firm and they do have an excellent health plan. He has max out the top of the pay scale which isn't even $20.00

I am not holding my breath that he will get a cost-of-living increase this upcoming year.

He has been there for 8 years, and I have only been at my job for 3 years coming up later this month. I am very close to making his hourly rate.

I do have a serious -Can DeSantis be charged with kidnapping?

I do apologize if this has been talked about earlier but now that DeSantis was re-elected in Florida I was wondering if he will be held accountable for that political stunt, he did with the immigrants he flew to Martha's Vineyard. Can it be tied directly to him?

Will we see a miracle of DeSantis and Trump sharing a Cell in Federal Prison?

My husband may be facing a lay off.

My husband called me on his lunch break (he is working afternoon shift 3 to midnight) and he tells me that they announced a 15-minute meeting will happen tomorrow. Rumor is they will announce layoffs.

Now we are use to my Husband being laid off before Christmas until the new year. His plant makes products they get ready for Christmas then shut down until the new year. Past year and a half they have been getting less and less orders. I am scared they are going to close permanently.

I am also thinking anyone at that meeting is going to be laid off. We never have had this done. There is always a plan. Like we are shutting down December 16th and your be back here Jan 4th.

Any suggestions? Has anyone ever gone thru this. A surprise meeting announced the day before?

I am a nervous wreck. I can't watch the results. I am truly terrified. I saw MTG projected

Winner and I want to hurl.

Rubio and Desantis winning has me near passing out. There seems to be...what little I saw truly has me worried. I pray I am truly wrong.

Just voted!

How is there no Democratic candidates?

I pull up the ballot for my city in Washington PA just so I know what I am going to look at. (Yes, I am weird. I prefer to go vote in person. I go early morning.) Tomorrow Morning. and yes, I am voting democrat, but I still wanted to see the ballot and the same ballot I just pulled up ballot I am shocked.
Where are the democratic candidates for the Rep in Congress for the 14th district. Senator in the General Assembly 46th district and Rep in the General Assembly 48th district?

How do I handle a ballot like this. As long as I remember I don't remember not seeing a candidate go unchallenged in such a key race.

https://www.co.washington.pa.us/DocumentCenter/View/15978/Washington-7W---3-EXP

My husband has been just throwing out all the candidate- mail we have been receiving. Especially when someone attempted to try and "encourage me to vote for Republican."

I also posted in PA section.
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