General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: When should a domestic abuser be fired from work? [View all]Beantighe
(126 posts)I also worked as an advocate for abuse victims, but during the late eighties and early nineties and only for about five years. I get that there other types of violence that can be equally or more emotionally devastating to the victim than a broken bone, but dead is dead. I understand the cycle of abuse. I have also worked with hundreds of women and children (no males, but toward the end of my work in that area men were being encouraged to come forward).
I stand by my statement, "Perhaps if these guys were stripped of their livelihoods, some women wouldn't be so tempted to return to them due to fear of not being able to feed her children." I worked with many women whose biggest fear was not being able to feed their children due to a lack of a job and/or outside support. It was stated as the reason they returned. I also understand the dynamics underlying that, but that was not the purpose of the post.
The purpose of my post was to call a wife beater a wife beater and suggest they dont have a right to work. It wasnt to minimize other forms of abuse. It was to suggest they need to be locked up with a big old ugly label that reads "wife beater" (rather than be heard in what is tantamount to traffic court and allowed to continue on with their life as usual) when they beat someone just because they can. Maybe I was short-sighted. Maybe not.
Porter is a wife beater. He beat his wife and it sounds as though he suffered no real repercussions for doing so. BUT yes, your point is well-taken that calling him what he is could cause those abused in other ways to not see what they are experiencing as abusive if there are no bruises.
All of that being said, I commend you for your dedication and ability to work with abuse victims for so long. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do that work for so many years.