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(3,005 posts)
27. Perhaps it will be unpopular, but I think the "father" is culpable.
Thu Feb 15, 2018, 09:29 PM
Feb 2018

Consider this, if the father were asked "would he do anything differently?", my guess is, he would strongly regret his judgement with the gun. It's not a handgun, or a rifle. I doubt any one of us would agree to bring a high powered machine gun into our home and give a key to a 19-year-old.

I wouldn't even give my car to a 19-year-old without a lot of proof that he was stable, healthy, trustworthy, etc.

This dad was wrong, even though he meant well.

Yeah why would anyone blame this couple who gave him a roof for a few weeks. Eliot Rosewater Feb 2018 #1
I'm not blaming them but i still have a problem with the gun JI7 Feb 2018 #2
What if he had gotten rid of it? He could have gotten another, pnwmom Feb 2018 #3
I wouldn't let my own kids or any other family or friends bring it either JI7 Feb 2018 #4
Right. But so what? They could bring a weapon into the house and unless you were pnwmom Feb 2018 #8
But they did know JI7 Feb 2018 #9
As I said, they could have made him get rid of it. But he could have simply brought it or another pnwmom Feb 2018 #11
That's what republicans say to oppose gun control JI7 Feb 2018 #13
Didn't they require it be Control-Z Feb 2018 #33
and he had the key JI7 Feb 2018 #48
Was not aware of that. Control-Z Feb 2018 #93
It was in a lock box in his room, and he had the key. LisaL Feb 2018 #89
I guess that would defeat its purpose. eom Control-Z Feb 2018 #92
The thing about getting somebody's trust, is you have to trust them first mythology Feb 2018 #42
Same argument the GOP made today about gun control- cant be done. bettyellen Feb 2018 #31
I would not allow a weapon like that to reside in my house. Chemisse Feb 2018 #108
I dont blame them, if he was not be able to obtain weapon he would not kill so many kids AlexSFCA Feb 2018 #5
Thank you for posting this. So many here are so clueless. n.t USALiberal Feb 2018 #6
In my house, weapons are not allowed period. Tatiana Feb 2018 #7
Searching an adult's room is an invasion of privacy. If I had done that to the teen we took in, pnwmom Feb 2018 #10
You don't have to search, but you can take a stand and say you don't allow it JI7 Feb 2018 #14
So we parent differently, and that's OK. Tatiana Feb 2018 #16
Who says anything about room searching? LisaL Feb 2018 #61
Some were saying they wouldn't have allowed a gun into the house. But how would they know, pnwmom Feb 2018 #65
Keeping the gun locked up with him having the key makes about as much sense LisaL Feb 2018 #67
If the parents had kicked him out, how would that have made the school safer? pnwmom Feb 2018 #69
What does searching have to do with it? LisaL Feb 2018 #73
I let someone move in without knowing much about her at all. pnwmom Feb 2018 #79
You inspect your adult daughter's room? SomethingNew Feb 2018 #44
I agree. I can't imagine doing that to my college students. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #102
Agree 100%! Never stop being kind pnwmom! JoeOtterbein Feb 2018 #12
They probably saw the help of getting him into GED classes and a new job as progress. Thier own lunasun Feb 2018 #15
If people are blaming the family, then I take exception to that. robbob Feb 2018 #17
I agree. They were no doubt influenced by the gun culture in Florida. pnwmom Feb 2018 #18
Here's a whole vile thread of parent blaming Ms. Toad Feb 2018 #56
I'm not blaming them. I'm absolutely blaming U.S.A. gun culture. hunter Feb 2018 #19
I agree. The whole culture, and the government that supports it, is to blame. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #20
I fell for it yesterday and blamed the "dad" ProudLib72 Feb 2018 #21
Well said, and well done. Thanks for being a voice of reason. K&R n/t ms liberty Feb 2018 #22
You did a great thing pnwmom. panader0 Feb 2018 #23
pander0, thank you! n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #25
K&R... spanone Feb 2018 #24
We look at others and see what Phoenix61 Feb 2018 #26
That's exactly it. It makes us feel safer to think we'd never do anything that we believe, pnwmom Feb 2018 #28
Perhaps it will be unpopular, but I think the "father" is culpable. rainin Feb 2018 #27
How would the father know that another gun hadn't been brought in later? pnwmom Feb 2018 #29
As you said above- ignore you have suspicions, you can search. And a total stranger brings a gun? bettyellen Feb 2018 #32
Well, we've already established that you are perfect. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #34
In this case Im a fuck ton better than anyone who shrugged over the guns and knives, yes I am. bettyellen Feb 2018 #50
exactly JI7 Feb 2018 #52
What makes you think that if the friend's father had banned this teen and his gun from the house pnwmom Feb 2018 #75
Well, I guess we have no choice but to allow armed teenagers to move into our houses. LisaL Feb 2018 #81
Of course we have that choice and it might usually be the right choice. However, we are deluding pnwmom Feb 2018 #84
I think the point being overlooked here... leftstreet Feb 2018 #90
Yes -- I think that could have been the friend's parents' hope. It just didn't work out that way, pnwmom Feb 2018 #91
Bullshit. They were okay with the gun locked away if they insist on calling it that. bettyellen Feb 2018 #96
And if the kid preferred to leave than get rid of his gun, then what? He would have been pnwmom Feb 2018 #98
Theyd bear no responsibility for his ability to use the gun. bettyellen Feb 2018 #100
They don't, except in the same way all of us do -- as a part of a sick society with pnwmom Feb 2018 #101
Nope. They harbored a sick kid with an AK-15. Well meaning people do stupid things all the time. bettyellen Feb 2018 #104
Pushing a kid out into the street with an assault rifle would have been just as risky. pnwmom Feb 2018 #106
Nope- the kid had a roof over his head- one his mother trusted. bettyellen Feb 2018 #110
The roof over his head didn't make the school shooting any more likely. If he had gotten kicked out, pnwmom Feb 2018 #111
He wasnt getting kicked out, he preferred to live elsewhere. Spare me the guilt bullshit. bettyellen Feb 2018 #112
LOL. Talk about permissive parenting! bettyellen Feb 2018 #97
Like I said, I would have taken the gun and kicked him out without it if he insisted on keeping it. bettyellen Feb 2018 #95
The story the young man was permitted to keep the one he had. rainin Feb 2018 #37
Hindsight is always 20/20. The father did his best. Meanwhile, we have members of the GOP pnwmom Feb 2018 #41
There isn't a point except as a response to the OP. rainin Feb 2018 #47
What if he hadn't allowed the teen in? How do you know the teen wouldn't have shot up the school pnwmom Feb 2018 #49
If every parent had a no gun policy, hed be on the streets and the radar of police and social bettyellen Feb 2018 #51
you don't know that but you don't give in to their gun obsession . you want a fucking place to stay JI7 Feb 2018 #53
And so he leaves and shoots up the school the next day. How do you know that wouldn't happen? pnwmom Feb 2018 #87
we don't know. but coddling his gun obsession sure didn't help JI7 Feb 2018 #88
His father died in 2005. herding cats Feb 2018 #43
I agree with you trixie2 Feb 2018 #57
Why do you think if they kicked him out then anyone would have been any safer (except they pnwmom Feb 2018 #59
While we can speculate about what he could or couldn't have done, we know what he actually did do. LisaL Feb 2018 #66
Thanks, PNWMom. JohnnyLib2 Feb 2018 #30
Thank you for this very good post. mountain grammy Feb 2018 #35
And thanks for what you yourself did. pnwmom Feb 2018 #39
Lots of people (esp on DU) love being morally superior... MicaelS Feb 2018 #36
Much respect to you pnwmom. n/t Calista241 Feb 2018 #38
Thank you, Calista241! n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #40
Thank you for your OP GaryCnf Feb 2018 #45
We suddenly found ourselves in a situation with no rulebook -- just feeling our way. pnwmom Feb 2018 #46
It's a wonderful story GaryCnf Feb 2018 #54
Thank you for your kind words. pnwmom Feb 2018 #58
Thank you underpants Feb 2018 #55
Did they homeless teen you took in have AR-15? LisaL Feb 2018 #60
No, but I wouldn't have known it. I wasn't searching her room for contraband. pnwmom Feb 2018 #63
Is that what happened here? I don't think so. LisaL Feb 2018 #64
What difference does that make? People are saying that the parents shouldn't have allowed him pnwmom Feb 2018 #68
Again, we can speculate all day long about what he could or couldn't have done. LisaL Feb 2018 #70
Hindsight is always 20/20.But these parents didn't have the advantage of it when they were deciding. pnwmom Feb 2018 #71
Why did they let him in to begin with? LisaL Feb 2018 #72
Their son asked if he could move in with them. I haven't seen it reported anywhere pnwmom Feb 2018 #74
They knew he had the gun. LisaL Feb 2018 #77
They knew he had the gun. So? He still would have had the gun if they banned him from the house. pnwmom Feb 2018 #80
Again, you are welcome to allow armed troubled teenagers into your house. LisaL Feb 2018 #83
I am not arguing that. I am saying that it is basically IRRELEVANT. That teen was a threat pnwmom Feb 2018 #85
They helped him earn money and live rent free so he could buy more guns. bettyellen Feb 2018 #114
He didn't buy more guns. He had the same gun he'd have left the house with pnwmom Feb 2018 #116
Since you were talking hypotheticals, I thought I would too. bettyellen Feb 2018 #118
Hed not been forced to roam the streets. He preferred to find other accommodations. bettyellen Feb 2018 #113
If the parents had kicked him out, he would have been out on the streets with his loaded backpack. pnwmom Feb 2018 #115
He was in the home of his moms friend and he wanted to leave. Not a night in the streets. bettyellen Feb 2018 #117
THEse issues are complicated BannonsLiver Feb 2018 #62
Three times I have taken in young people. One 14-year-old when she became too tblue37 Feb 2018 #76
Were they armed? LisaL Feb 2018 #78
No, but two of them were potentially trouble. nt tblue37 Feb 2018 #82
Thank you, tblue37. I'm glad you could be there for them. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #86
I remember going to see the Dalai Lama when he came to Seattle. I still have a t-shirt from that suffragette Feb 2018 #94
This means a lot to me, suffragette. pnwmom Feb 2018 #99
Thank you for being there for your daughter's friend. And for being persistent about the issue suffragette Feb 2018 #103
I don't see a need to blame them janterry Feb 2018 #105
We don't have guns in our home either. But I don't think this town would have been any safer pnwmom Feb 2018 #107
I'm very soft hearted and would have taken him in too but still feel there's no reason for anyone to blueinredohio Feb 2018 #109
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