General Discussion

rainin

(3,005 posts)

27. Perhaps it will be unpopular, but I think the "father" is culpable.

Thu Feb 15, 2018, 09:29 PM

Feb 2018

Consider this, if the father were asked "would he do anything differently?", my guess is, he would strongly regret his judgement with the gun. It's not a handgun, or a rifle. I doubt any one of us would agree to bring a high powered machine gun into our home and give a key to a 19-year-old.

I wouldn't even give my car to a 19-year-old without a lot of proof that he was stable, healthy, trustworthy, etc.

This dad was wrong, even though he meant well.

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Having taken in a homeless teen myself, I strongly disagree with those who are blaming the couple [View all] pnwmom Feb 2018 OP

Yeah why would anyone blame this couple who gave him a roof for a few weeks. Eliot Rosewater Feb 2018 #1

I'm not blaming them but i still have a problem with the gun JI7 Feb 2018 #2

What if he had gotten rid of it? He could have gotten another, pnwmom Feb 2018 #3

I wouldn't let my own kids or any other family or friends bring it either JI7 Feb 2018 #4

Right. But so what? They could bring a weapon into the house and unless you were pnwmom Feb 2018 #8

But they did know JI7 Feb 2018 #9

As I said, they could have made him get rid of it. But he could have simply brought it or another pnwmom Feb 2018 #11

That's what republicans say to oppose gun control JI7 Feb 2018 #13

Didn't they require it be Control-Z Feb 2018 #33

and he had the key JI7 Feb 2018 #48

Was not aware of that. Control-Z Feb 2018 #93

It was in a lock box in his room, and he had the key. LisaL Feb 2018 #89

I guess that would defeat its purpose. eom Control-Z Feb 2018 #92

The thing about getting somebody's trust, is you have to trust them first mythology Feb 2018 #42

Same argument the GOP made today about gun control- cant be done. bettyellen Feb 2018 #31

I would not allow a weapon like that to reside in my house. Chemisse Feb 2018 #108

I dont blame them, if he was not be able to obtain weapon he would not kill so many kids AlexSFCA Feb 2018 #5

Thank you for posting this. So many here are so clueless. n.t USALiberal Feb 2018 #6

In my house, weapons are not allowed period. Tatiana Feb 2018 #7

Searching an adult's room is an invasion of privacy. If I had done that to the teen we took in, pnwmom Feb 2018 #10

You don't have to search, but you can take a stand and say you don't allow it JI7 Feb 2018 #14

So we parent differently, and that's OK. Tatiana Feb 2018 #16

Who says anything about room searching? LisaL Feb 2018 #61

Some were saying they wouldn't have allowed a gun into the house. But how would they know, pnwmom Feb 2018 #65

Keeping the gun locked up with him having the key makes about as much sense LisaL Feb 2018 #67

If the parents had kicked him out, how would that have made the school safer? pnwmom Feb 2018 #69

What does searching have to do with it? LisaL Feb 2018 #73

I let someone move in without knowing much about her at all. pnwmom Feb 2018 #79

You inspect your adult daughter's room? SomethingNew Feb 2018 #44

I agree. I can't imagine doing that to my college students. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #102

Agree 100%! Never stop being kind pnwmom! JoeOtterbein Feb 2018 #12

They probably saw the help of getting him into GED classes and a new job as progress. Thier own lunasun Feb 2018 #15

If people are blaming the family, then I take exception to that. robbob Feb 2018 #17

I agree. They were no doubt influenced by the gun culture in Florida. pnwmom Feb 2018 #18

Here's a whole vile thread of parent blaming Ms. Toad Feb 2018 #56

I'm not blaming them. I'm absolutely blaming U.S.A. gun culture. hunter Feb 2018 #19

I agree. The whole culture, and the government that supports it, is to blame. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #20

I fell for it yesterday and blamed the "dad" ProudLib72 Feb 2018 #21

Well said, and well done. Thanks for being a voice of reason. K&R n/t ms liberty Feb 2018 #22

You did a great thing pnwmom. panader0 Feb 2018 #23

pander0, thank you! n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #25

K&R... spanone Feb 2018 #24

We look at others and see what Phoenix61 Feb 2018 #26

That's exactly it. It makes us feel safer to think we'd never do anything that we believe, pnwmom Feb 2018 #28

Perhaps it will be unpopular, but I think the "father" is culpable. rainin Feb 2018 #27

How would the father know that another gun hadn't been brought in later? pnwmom Feb 2018 #29

As you said above- ignore you have suspicions, you can search. And a total stranger brings a gun? bettyellen Feb 2018 #32

Well, we've already established that you are perfect. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #34

In this case Im a fuck ton better than anyone who shrugged over the guns and knives, yes I am. bettyellen Feb 2018 #50

exactly JI7 Feb 2018 #52

What makes you think that if the friend's father had banned this teen and his gun from the house pnwmom Feb 2018 #75

Well, I guess we have no choice but to allow armed teenagers to move into our houses. LisaL Feb 2018 #81

Of course we have that choice and it might usually be the right choice. However, we are deluding pnwmom Feb 2018 #84

I think the point being overlooked here... leftstreet Feb 2018 #90

Yes -- I think that could have been the friend's parents' hope. It just didn't work out that way, pnwmom Feb 2018 #91

Bullshit. They were okay with the gun locked away if they insist on calling it that. bettyellen Feb 2018 #96

And if the kid preferred to leave than get rid of his gun, then what? He would have been pnwmom Feb 2018 #98

Theyd bear no responsibility for his ability to use the gun. bettyellen Feb 2018 #100

They don't, except in the same way all of us do -- as a part of a sick society with pnwmom Feb 2018 #101

Nope. They harbored a sick kid with an AK-15. Well meaning people do stupid things all the time. bettyellen Feb 2018 #104

Pushing a kid out into the street with an assault rifle would have been just as risky. pnwmom Feb 2018 #106

Nope- the kid had a roof over his head- one his mother trusted. bettyellen Feb 2018 #110

The roof over his head didn't make the school shooting any more likely. If he had gotten kicked out, pnwmom Feb 2018 #111

He wasnt getting kicked out, he preferred to live elsewhere. Spare me the guilt bullshit. bettyellen Feb 2018 #112

LOL. Talk about permissive parenting! bettyellen Feb 2018 #97

Like I said, I would have taken the gun and kicked him out without it if he insisted on keeping it. bettyellen Feb 2018 #95

The story the young man was permitted to keep the one he had. rainin Feb 2018 #37

Hindsight is always 20/20. The father did his best. Meanwhile, we have members of the GOP pnwmom Feb 2018 #41

There isn't a point except as a response to the OP. rainin Feb 2018 #47

What if he hadn't allowed the teen in? How do you know the teen wouldn't have shot up the school pnwmom Feb 2018 #49

If every parent had a no gun policy, hed be on the streets and the radar of police and social bettyellen Feb 2018 #51

you don't know that but you don't give in to their gun obsession . you want a fucking place to stay JI7 Feb 2018 #53

And so he leaves and shoots up the school the next day. How do you know that wouldn't happen? pnwmom Feb 2018 #87

we don't know. but coddling his gun obsession sure didn't help JI7 Feb 2018 #88

His father died in 2005. herding cats Feb 2018 #43

I agree with you trixie2 Feb 2018 #57

Why do you think if they kicked him out then anyone would have been any safer (except they pnwmom Feb 2018 #59

While we can speculate about what he could or couldn't have done, we know what he actually did do. LisaL Feb 2018 #66

Thanks, PNWMom. JohnnyLib2 Feb 2018 #30

Thank you for this very good post. mountain grammy Feb 2018 #35

And thanks for what you yourself did. pnwmom Feb 2018 #39

Lots of people (esp on DU) love being morally superior... MicaelS Feb 2018 #36

Much respect to you pnwmom. n/t Calista241 Feb 2018 #38

Thank you, Calista241! n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #40

Thank you for your OP GaryCnf Feb 2018 #45

We suddenly found ourselves in a situation with no rulebook -- just feeling our way. pnwmom Feb 2018 #46

It's a wonderful story GaryCnf Feb 2018 #54

Thank you for your kind words. pnwmom Feb 2018 #58

Thank you underpants Feb 2018 #55

Did they homeless teen you took in have AR-15? LisaL Feb 2018 #60

No, but I wouldn't have known it. I wasn't searching her room for contraband. pnwmom Feb 2018 #63

Is that what happened here? I don't think so. LisaL Feb 2018 #64

What difference does that make? People are saying that the parents shouldn't have allowed him pnwmom Feb 2018 #68

Again, we can speculate all day long about what he could or couldn't have done. LisaL Feb 2018 #70

Hindsight is always 20/20.But these parents didn't have the advantage of it when they were deciding. pnwmom Feb 2018 #71

Why did they let him in to begin with? LisaL Feb 2018 #72

Their son asked if he could move in with them. I haven't seen it reported anywhere pnwmom Feb 2018 #74

They knew he had the gun. LisaL Feb 2018 #77

They knew he had the gun. So? He still would have had the gun if they banned him from the house. pnwmom Feb 2018 #80

Again, you are welcome to allow armed troubled teenagers into your house. LisaL Feb 2018 #83

I am not arguing that. I am saying that it is basically IRRELEVANT. That teen was a threat pnwmom Feb 2018 #85

They helped him earn money and live rent free so he could buy more guns. bettyellen Feb 2018 #114

He didn't buy more guns. He had the same gun he'd have left the house with pnwmom Feb 2018 #116

Since you were talking hypotheticals, I thought I would too. bettyellen Feb 2018 #118

Hed not been forced to roam the streets. He preferred to find other accommodations. bettyellen Feb 2018 #113

If the parents had kicked him out, he would have been out on the streets with his loaded backpack. pnwmom Feb 2018 #115

He was in the home of his moms friend and he wanted to leave. Not a night in the streets. bettyellen Feb 2018 #117

THEse issues are complicated BannonsLiver Feb 2018 #62

Three times I have taken in young people. One 14-year-old when she became too tblue37 Feb 2018 #76

Were they armed? LisaL Feb 2018 #78

No, but two of them were potentially trouble. nt tblue37 Feb 2018 #82

Thank you, tblue37. I'm glad you could be there for them. n/t pnwmom Feb 2018 #86

I remember going to see the Dalai Lama when he came to Seattle. I still have a t-shirt from that suffragette Feb 2018 #94

This means a lot to me, suffragette. pnwmom Feb 2018 #99

Thank you for being there for your daughter's friend. And for being persistent about the issue suffragette Feb 2018 #103

I don't see a need to blame them janterry Feb 2018 #105

We don't have guns in our home either. But I don't think this town would have been any safer pnwmom Feb 2018 #107

I'm very soft hearted and would have taken him in too but still feel there's no reason for anyone to blueinredohio Feb 2018 #109