HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » DNA Heritage Tests - Why ... » Reply #84

Response to el_bryanto (Reply #16)

Mon Mar 12, 2018, 02:34 PM

84. Hi Bryant - I'm not adopted, but both of our children are.

In both cases, we encouraged our kids to reach out to their birth-families (if they wanted to).

For our son it was pretty easy - we stayed in touch with his birth-mom, and when he finally asked if he could meet her (he was 18 at the time) we were able to arrange a meeting. He told us that he was afraid how we were going to react, but we always told him that we wanted what was best for him. And for us, things worked out great. Since that first meeting, he has met more of his extended birth-family, as have we...in fact, not only do we spend holidays together when we can, this past weekend my wife and our son's birth-mom went out to lunch, not only is she family, she is a very dear friend. And to our son my wife and I are Mom and Dad - and his birth-mom always refers to us as his parents...but we also refer to her as his mom.

For our daughter it was a bit trickier...she was adopted from Latvia, and we had very little background information. As it turns out, we were able to find family (mostly cousins) using a DNA test...so I do see the value in these tests. But it was really Facebook that helped the most. We sent out our story, and it made its way to a young lady in Latvia who was able to find and connect with our daughter's birth-mom. And we were also able to find a brother (living in the UK) and a sister (living in France)...in fact, last summer our daughter spent 2 weeks with her sister in Spain

So sometimes it works out - and we were lucky in both situations.

And you are so right - it can be a very complex set of feelings.

So I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Tim

Reply to this post

Back to OP Alert abuse Link to post in-thread

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 123 replies Author Time Post
MineralMan Mar 2018 OP
Archae Mar 2018 #1
MineralMan Mar 2018 #3
CanonRay Mar 2018 #8
pnwmom Mar 2018 #114
BannonsLiver Mar 2018 #26
Mariana Mar 2018 #74
StarryNite Mar 2018 #109
Mariana Mar 2018 #122
USALiberal Mar 2018 #123
Blue_Adept Mar 2018 #2
MineralMan Mar 2018 #5
Bonx Mar 2018 #39
Hortensis Mar 2018 #119
scarletlib Mar 2018 #7
leftstreet Mar 2018 #21
dalton99a Mar 2018 #4
MineralMan Mar 2018 #6
madaboutharry Mar 2018 #9
MineralMan Mar 2018 #10
madaboutharry Mar 2018 #12
ProfessorGAC Mar 2018 #75
MineralMan Mar 2018 #92
bigtree Mar 2018 #11
MineralMan Mar 2018 #14
bigtree Mar 2018 #19
MineralMan Mar 2018 #46
bigtree Mar 2018 #48
MineralMan Mar 2018 #59
bigtree Mar 2018 #62
MineralMan Mar 2018 #65
bigtree Mar 2018 #66
MineralMan Mar 2018 #67
bigtree Mar 2018 #76
samnsara Mar 2018 #55
MineralMan Mar 2018 #57
bigbrother05 Mar 2018 #61
pnwmom Mar 2018 #115
First Speaker Mar 2018 #13
MineralMan Mar 2018 #15
el_bryanto Mar 2018 #16
MineralMan Mar 2018 #22
Mosby Mar 2018 #77
LineLineReply Hi Bryant - I'm not adopted, but both of our children are.
Pendrench Mar 2018 #84
pnwmom Mar 2018 #96
nini Mar 2018 #110
alarimer Mar 2018 #17
Crepuscular Mar 2018 #18
Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2018 #35
MineralMan Mar 2018 #41
Crepuscular Mar 2018 #45
Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2018 #108
Exotica Mar 2018 #95
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2018 #20
MineralMan Mar 2018 #24
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2018 #29
hexola Mar 2018 #23
BannonsLiver Mar 2018 #25
snowybirdie Mar 2018 #27
MineralMan Mar 2018 #28
Clarity2 Mar 2018 #30
BannonsLiver Mar 2018 #31
Clarity2 Mar 2018 #103
WePurrsevere Mar 2018 #94
Clarity2 Mar 2018 #104
WePurrsevere Mar 2018 #111
Clarity2 Mar 2018 #121
pnwmom Mar 2018 #32
MineralMan Mar 2018 #34
pnwmom Mar 2018 #40
MineralMan Mar 2018 #43
pnwmom Mar 2018 #47
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2018 #49
MineralMan Mar 2018 #51
Crepuscular Mar 2018 #73
MineralMan Mar 2018 #82
ProfessorGAC Mar 2018 #78
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2018 #81
Crepuscular Mar 2018 #90
LexVegas Mar 2018 #33
MineralMan Mar 2018 #36
Tipperary Mar 2018 #37
LexVegas Mar 2018 #38
lunamagica Mar 2018 #42
MineralMan Mar 2018 #44
RobinA Mar 2018 #107
chowder66 Mar 2018 #50
MineralMan Mar 2018 #52
chowder66 Mar 2018 #58
MineralMan Mar 2018 #60
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2018 #53
samnsara Mar 2018 #54
MineralMan Mar 2018 #56
matt819 Mar 2018 #63
MFM008 Mar 2018 #64
KatyMan Mar 2018 #68
MineralMan Mar 2018 #71
KatyMan Mar 2018 #80
Egnever Mar 2018 #69
arthritisR_US Mar 2018 #70
MineralMan Mar 2018 #72
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2018 #79
Mariana Mar 2018 #99
arthritisR_US Mar 2018 #100
Freelancer Mar 2018 #83
pnwmom Mar 2018 #113
Maeve Mar 2018 #85
Awsi Dooger Mar 2018 #86
MountCleaners Mar 2018 #118
lostnfound Mar 2018 #87
MineralMan Mar 2018 #91
pnwmom Mar 2018 #116
TheSmarterDog Mar 2018 #88
CentralMass Mar 2018 #89
pansypoo53219 Mar 2018 #93
Lord_at_War Mar 2018 #97
ecstatic Mar 2018 #98
Sophia4 Mar 2018 #101
RandySF Mar 2018 #102
Blaukraut Mar 2018 #105
RobinA Mar 2018 #106
oasis Mar 2018 #112
Spider Jerusalem Mar 2018 #117
aikoaiko Mar 2018 #120
Please login to view edit histories.