Dear White People: If you see something, say something

[wonkwest]

20. There's a switch many white people need to flick

They're seeing racial issues and interactions as political. As if intervening is somehow declaring their own politics in an inappropriate way or setting. For every story we read that goes, "I was at the gas station and overheard this redneck and just got in his face!" 95% of everyone else keeps their political interior monologue private in their everyday lives. Almost as if it's an academic exercise. "Well, of course it's wrong, but . . . I'm sure they're fine. Ooh, my muffin's ready!"

What really pinged for me, what has led me to be more willing to insert myself as a presence in these kinds of incidents and many others, is to divorce myself from the political and racial aspects. To not think of it in terms of race or ideology. I started thinking about it for what it was: bullying.

I feel like I don't see that word used often enough when discussing and describing these incidents. Bullying is what happens when someone with power feels the need to flex their power over others. And when people have little power, sometimes the temptation to flex strength is there just to feel in control. I mean, you work in a coffee shop. Not a lot of authority at your fingertips there. Ah, but here are some people you can be an asshole to with the full authority that only someone who slings frappuccinos can wield in this world. Yeah, you're a racist. But worse, you're a bully.

Once I started seeing racial incidents as a form of bullying, my whole perception and demeanor shifted. I've noticed that true of many other white people as well. We can use terms like privilege, oppression, institutional racism, etc. But you'll see even many white liberals' eyes glaze over and disassociate themselves on the emotional level. They'll nod sagely. "Mhm, mhm, mhm. So true, so true." But it's still an academic thing to them. A piece of their political ideology.

Bullying is more visceral. We act more readily to aid others when we perceive it to be happening. By framing it as bullying, avenues to empathy open wider. A light bulb goes off, and they go, "Wait a minute. I've been bullied before!" You have to go to where people live and bring the matter home in a way they can relate to their own life experiences. A lot of people have bullying experiences, and a lot of them will intervene when they see someone else being bullied.

So I'd love to see the word bully incorporated as much as possible when these incidents arise.

Just a quick point about support vs. Great White Hope. A few days ago, I was walking along at night through a sketchy neighborhood - a lot of drug users and mentally ill. A small young woman came up to me and just started hollering and screaming in that incoherent way you sometimes encounter. I did that whole polite muttering, half smile while never breaking your stride sort of thing. She started following. I was easily twice the size of her and didn't feel any kind of personal danger. But you still feel vulnerable when your personal barrier is punctured out of the blue like that. As I strode up to a crosswalk, a young black man came up, stood just over my shoulder, and calmly said to the woman, "You need to get going." Well, suddenly we were two, and she didn't feel so emboldened anymore. She slunk off.

Sometimes that's all you need when being bullied. Just one other person to signal, "No, this is not ok," to make the bully scatter.