I do not want to hear one shutdown complaint from any Grover Norquist cultist. [View all]

[TygrBright]

Y'all are the ones who were so damn' sure we could shrink government to drown it in a bathtub and rely on the magic of an invisible hand to take up the slack and ensure a livable community.

Now you're getting a taste of what that might be like. Do you see any private sector entrepreneurs stepping up to ensure the safety of our food supply?

How about all those v-cappers who rushed in to clean up the messes on federal land? Oh, wait, I hear y'all muttering something about how there shouldn't BE any "federal land" because it should all be in the hands of the Noble Titans of Industry and Agriculture, creating jobs for all.

Okay, in that case, let's go ahead and devise a fair and equitable way to recompense every citizen for the loss of their share of those commons, and an orderly process to implement that and enable those same Titans to compete on a level playing field to do the best job with those resources. Except that the federal courts are about to shut down, damn.

I'm sure everyone trusts some private-sector substitute for them to carry out the process, though, right? The magic unseen digits would hold them accountable, natch.

What, your flight may be delayed or canceled because of unsafe conditions? After you had to wait for HOURS to get through security?

Quitcher whining. Pony up another grand for your economy ticket from Omaha to Miami and those sterling capitalist warriors will spring into action to provide nationwide security, safe airspace, and seamless interaction with those services worldwide.

You've got a great idea to start a little capitalist enterprise of your own to step into the breach? Sounds wonderful! Take it to the SBA for... oh, wait. Ne'mind. I'm sure you can get EXCELLENT terms from your local bank. Or one of those generous, patient, collaborative v-cap types, right?

Your daughter got laid off from her barista job and now she can't afford her rent and has to come back and live with you while she looks for another job? NO!! So sorry, but while that federal building is mostly empty, not too many people are nipping next door for a caramel macchiato. But those parasite federal workers never contributed anything to the "real" economy anyway.

Your brother's check for the compensatory farm subsidy to make up for the unsold soybeans didn't come through? So what? He's a farmer, he can grow more stuff, right? Oh, he needed that money to pay for seed and fertilizer for a spring crop? Dayum. But hey, he sounds like a taker anyway. Without all that expensive stupid government support for agriculture we can all start paying the real prices for food, now. You're gonna love that.

By the way, what IS that nasty stuff in the creek behind your house? Smells awful! But I'm sure it's safe. It better be, because the EPA's got no one available to come and check. But hey, the fittest will survive.

Oh, and what are you going to do about that near-disaster when the generator you fired up during the winter storm power outage caught fire? If it was me, I'd file a complaint about product safety with the Consumer Complaint Center. If it was open, of course.

Well, at least we can get on with kicking out all those undocumented immigrants, right? Leaving more great, wonderful, highly-paid jobs for real Americans? Ummmm.... no, not while 42,000 immigration court hearings have been postponed because there aren't any of those useless grifter federal employees to undertake them.

So, you're finally getting a taste of what you've said you really wanted, all along.

Hey, just wait 'til the CDC has to shut down emergency responses for the massive epidemics of food-borne illness that are on the way!

Won't that be fun? But at least government will be smaller, yanno?

So will the population.

And there'll be tons of work for gravediggers, crematorium operators, etc. You might want to invest in the manufacture and distribution of body bags.

Someone should be making a few bucks off this "smaller government" your God Emperor of Weeniness is "helping" us pilot.

ironically,
Bright