As predictable as the fucking sunrise...

[Atticus]

9. Given Rash Limburger's insensitivity to what most consider "normal" human compassion and

empathy, "there's an ongoing theory" that he is in fact NOT human, but a reptilian other-worlder that gets its monologues by telepathic transmissions from a mothership in a geosynchronous orbit that keeps it behind our moon. Surviving entirely on oxycontin and brown rats---which it wolfs down squatting behind dumpsters in whatever city it finds itself in---it is said to use its frequent forays into warmer climes as a respite from the incredible itching of its human suit.

In the warmth of, say, Costa Rica, Rash can bask in the sun "au naturel" and give his scaly epidermis a chance to heal from the chafing pink "balding sedentary deplorable" outfit he wears for work.

"There's an ongoing theory" that "polynoidal cysts" may be other-worlder for "bone spurs", but although there are obvious similarities, that has not yet been confirmed.

To those who think these theories farfetched, consider how intensely interested Rash has been in Michael Cohen---ever since Trump said he was a RAT!