#me too is not the #i uncomfortable movement

[haele]

10. However, we also need to recognize that there are about 10% who don't want to talk about it -

They only want to shout and condemn and be vindicated.

They only want their perceptions to be recognized, and will not "back down" because they feel their particular experience is the only valid experience. They won't talk about cultural differences, or misconceptions, or valid personal space considerations vice normal habits, they want someone to pay for their valid injuries - or even just their probably valid feelings of discomfort - and they don't care who pays or how it affects other's equally valid means of expression.

Over sixty years working in and around the military, a "mans world", I have experienced a wide range of sexual harassment, demeaning social put-downs based on gender expectations and/or hierarchical positions, and simply paternalistic put-downs that left me feeling angry or frustrated when all I wanted to do was my job and get some recognition for it.
However, I have also experienced genuine respect and offers of support or assistance that could have been misconstrued as paternalism or harassment if I had closed myself off to it just due to the personality of the person offering it. And I'm aware that there's quite a few times I come off as "Den Mom" or a snooty elite myself, and have probably been thought of as overbearing and demeaning to others who are younger or lower in the workplace heirarchy than myself.

I'm willing to talk about it. But I've met quite a few women - and men - who would rather wallow in impotent rage about it and take the role of victim rather than live in a world where there are people who aren't them and have equally valid feelings and personalities.

Haele