#me too is not the #i uncomfortable movement

[Whiskeytide]

128. I agree with your general theme, but we ...

... have to find a way to balance this.

I was at a reception following a high school awards ceremony today. Because of this issue in the news, I paid closer attention to the interaction of the crowd.

Everyone was hugging everyone. Kids, parents teachers ... all hugging each other - quite often multiple times. Greeting hugs, goodbye hugs, congrats hugs. I’m a dad and I was hugged at least 15 times by a number of my daughter’s friends, a couple of her teachers and five or six moms of other kids. My wife hugged and was hugged much more. Honestly, the only hug I did not witness was one between grown men - we were all shaking hands upon greeting each other, but no hugs. I did see some dads hugging sons. I was actually very surprised I had never noticed how rampant it was before.

The exuberance, love and joy I witnessed between my daughter and her teachers, friends and friend’s parents - it was heartwarming. Laughter was abundant. No one seemed upset. No one seemed to withdraw. It seemed genuine and natural. I suspect that was why I had never really noticed it before despite having been to dozens of these things.

But it is certainly possible - probable in fact - that at least some number of the 100 or so people present were people who do not welcome that kind of physical contact. They either suffered in silence, or they avoided it and I didn’t notice, or perhaps they just did not even attend the reception.

I empathize with them - certainly. But if permission was required, this reception would have had a very different - and I think less enjoyable for most - vibe.

I don’t have a proposal that seems to work here, honestly. I think most humans are prone to physical contact by instinct as well as social conditioning, and I don’t think it’s going to change. And I don’t think I want it to after what I saw today. But I don’t know how to respect those who feel differently without risking the sterilization of the entire event.