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Two people are drowning in a pool... [View all] ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 OP
I'd put it around myself and say that I was going to jump in Sanity Claws Jul 2019 #1
Good one! LOL! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #2
You win the thread malaise Jul 2019 #70
:) Yes. The law recognizes our right to save ourselves. Hortensis Jul 2019 #95
I'll take my chances with the charge. (eom) Loge23 Jul 2019 #3
Funny dat! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #32
I would throw it towards the pool mercuryblues Jul 2019 #4
Very creative, mercury!! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #33
Can't throw it to anyone. I'm a paraplegic. n/t zackymilly Jul 2019 #5
for the win. KG Jul 2019 #11
Why couldn't you throw if you were a paraplegic? n/t sl8 Jul 2019 #18
maybe he's paralyzed from the waist up? qazplm135 Jul 2019 #26
Yep. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #35
In addition to the paraplegia? sl8 Jul 2019 #50
the literal definition doesn't but qazplm135 Jul 2019 #55
I also lost my arms in the accident. nt zackymilly Jul 2019 #111
I think you're thinking of quadriplegic n/t JustFiveMoreMinutes Jul 2019 #141
I didn't hear anyone yell for help. MontanaMama Jul 2019 #6
Nope. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #36
"Help!" is "Soshilism!" Grins Jul 2019 #88
I'd get up and walk away... lame54 Jul 2019 #7
I like that one. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #53
I'd toss it between them, and let them fight over it. GoCubsGo Jul 2019 #8
Brilliant! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #38
You beat me to it. So,,,,,, Good one! keithbvadu2 Jul 2019 #97
The situation requires careful analysis. Ask them which one deserves it more dalton99a Jul 2019 #9
Nice. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #134
I'd order pizza, wings, and beer and invite the neighbors over! 🍻 Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #10
Good idea! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #61
Here's a variant: Buns_of_Fire Jul 2019 #12
You win the thread! LOL. n/t rzemanfl Jul 2019 #15
Very well done! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #39
DUZY!!!! Takket Jul 2019 #86
I would watch them both drown .... CatMor Jul 2019 #13
Ah, good point! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #40
Throw it to neither one and make them try to reach it and fight over it? Freethinker65 Jul 2019 #14
Silly. Throw it in and let the two of them duke it out for possession. Hekate Jul 2019 #16
Right on. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #57
Tough luck! eShirl Jul 2019 #17
Meh, they should just pull themselves up by their own bootstraps jberryhill Jul 2019 #19
Absolutely, huh? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #41
I'd throw it in such a way that it would "accidentally" miss. Crunchy Frog Jul 2019 #20
Surely sending them "thoughts and prayers" is sufficient action to avoid a manslaughter charge. meadowlander Jul 2019 #21
Works wonders for every mass shooting ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #47
I tried to help them maxrandb Jul 2019 #22
Clever! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #42
I'm not just paraplegic. I'm blind and deaf, too. librechik Jul 2019 #23
Lyrics Slightly Modified R. P. McMurphy Jul 2019 #24
The republican way. SouthernProgressive Jul 2019 #25
If it was Trump you know he would stiff you. nt avebury Jul 2019 #28
Yeah. He is in a bad spot. NT SouthernProgressive Jul 2019 #30
Ewwwww....please check your spelling. The damn keys are right rzemanfl Jul 2019 #79
Absolutely. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #83
Quite good, that! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #45
try and find a way to instantly become a quadraplegic qazplm135 Jul 2019 #27
LOL! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #52
I'll take prison for $200, Alex liberaltrucker Jul 2019 #29
For $200 - What is the name of America's biggest scoundrel? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #44
I would ask my phone to call my far left Doreen Jul 2019 #31
If not - Oh what a loss!! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #54
.... Doreen Jul 2019 #58
Off to the kitchen... LunaSea Jul 2019 #34
Ha! Ha! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #48
I guess I'm getting arrested. nt Flaleftist Jul 2019 #37
Hard to argue... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #51
Is this a timed test? Brother Buzz Jul 2019 #43
Yes. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #49
Well, it my best Jack Benny voice.... Brother Buzz Jul 2019 #56
But...but... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #59
Toss Cheney a shotgun and let history repeat itself. Kaleva Jul 2019 #46
I'd throw it into the bushes/over the fence/into the neighbor's yard and say "oops, missed" n/t Blaukraut Jul 2019 #60
What a shame. What a shame. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #62
Do my time as an American hero randr Jul 2019 #63
Wow. You certainly would be. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #65
I thought they were faking it... stillcool Jul 2019 #64
Perfectly plausible - given both of their track records ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #66
I'm a paraplegic, so... sdfernando Jul 2019 #67
Not the definition of a paraplegic. Tipperary Jul 2019 #71
Woops...sorry, you are correct.... sdfernando Jul 2019 #76
That's ok - you apologized. So we know you're not a Trump troll! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #80
OK, a serious answer: I'd throw it to Cheney. First Speaker Jul 2019 #68
I think you're right, and your the first one on this thread to save either, I believe! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #73
I agree cheney nini Jul 2019 #94
Perhaps not - with all ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #133
LOL nini Jul 2019 #137
At least Cheney supports gay marriage. skypilot Jul 2019 #128
True. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #135
Abstains from alcohol. skypilot Jul 2019 #138
I'd throw a knife to each one and chum the waters for the sharks. Ilsa Jul 2019 #69
Woah. I think we might have a winner (and there's lots of great competition here!) ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #75
The only reasonable thing to do is break the life preserver in two ProudLib72 Jul 2019 #72
Wow. Another brilliant suggestion! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #77
I would conference call their respective daughters and ask them what to do rufus dog Jul 2019 #74
Very clever. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #78
I'd offer my thoughts and prayers DBoon Jul 2019 #81
The Paul Ryan rescue move, huh? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #92
I'm throwing it over their heads. No manslaughter if I at least TRIED to save them Takket Jul 2019 #82
Doesn't sound like you tried too hard ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #90
Does the life preserver have to be inflated? Nt spooky3 Jul 2019 #84
Uh, no. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #89
Throw it to Cheney. MicaelS Jul 2019 #85
Probably a smart choice, but ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #87
If the pool is in Florida, there is a surplus of gators here at140 Jul 2019 #91
I do!! Right on! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #93
I'd make an emergency call for help to Mitch McConnell. smirkymonkey Jul 2019 #96
LOL nini Jul 2019 #104
Love it! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #112
Throw it to Trump -- he's too incompetent and prone to panicky flailing to use it properly anyway RockRaven Jul 2019 #98
Excellent, RR! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #113
I'd throw it in the middle of the 2. Let them decide. I'm a bad aim tho. Fla Dem Jul 2019 #99
is the preserver flammable? pansypoo53219 Jul 2019 #100
Hopefully! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #114
I would sit down Turbineguy Jul 2019 #101
Me too. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #116
Are we in Florida? Moostache Jul 2019 #102
Wow. That's quite creative... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #117
I would throw it to Cheney Goodheart Jul 2019 #103
I can hear now as he's going under... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #118
I was expecting a question like "what kind of sandwich would you make while watching them drown?" Clash City Rocker Jul 2019 #105
That's the follow-up thread ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #119
Hey, I thought they were practicing a synchronized swimming routine. AJT Jul 2019 #106
LOL! Clever dat! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #120
I suppose you could put it on yourself and then drive your wheelchair as fast as it can go.... Thomas Hurt Jul 2019 #107
Hmmm. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #121
I would claim the life preserver is too heavy for me to lift, grumpyduck Jul 2019 #108
Hysterical! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #122
#1-Nothing they are both scum so they will float -and quite frankly they do not need any help lunasun Jul 2019 #109
I think you're on to something there... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #123
Throw it, and hope it hits both of them. guillaumeb Jul 2019 #110
Fill it with lead first, you meant to add! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #124
Agreed. guillaumeb Jul 2019 #129
Would you guys promise to write me in prison? Couldn't save either. Vinca Jul 2019 #115
How could you live with yourself not saving the life of either of those public servants? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #125
Break the thing in two and toss them each half. nt littlemissmartypants Jul 2019 #126
As long as it floats like a rock, that would be fine ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #127
I would drink a glass of wine while watching them rateyes Jul 2019 #130
Priceless! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #132
I would stand trial. nt Blue_true Jul 2019 #131
That would seem to be easier on one's conscience, huh? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #136
Exactly. Not saving one would bother me, but not as much as saving one would weigh on my conscience Blue_true Jul 2019 #145
I see a stamp on the life preserver that says "Hecho en China" Lucid Dreamer Jul 2019 #139
Or write "USS John McCain" on it grumpyduck Jul 2019 #140
LOL! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #143
I think I'd just pee in the pool. pecosbob Jul 2019 #142
Oh, you're bad. Letting two selfless, distinguished public servants drown right before your eyes! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #144
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