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ProudLib72

(17,984 posts)

72. The only reasonable thing to do is break the life preserver in two

Reply to ElementaryPenguin (Original post)

Thu Jul 25, 2019, 05:08 PM

Jul 2019

and throw one piece to each person, thus assuring that you have done your due diligence while making sure that neither has enough flotation to survive.

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Two people are drowning in a pool... [View all] ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 OP

I'd put it around myself and say that I was going to jump in Sanity Claws Jul 2019 #1

Good one! LOL! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #2

You win the thread malaise Jul 2019 #70

:) Yes. The law recognizes our right to save ourselves. Hortensis Jul 2019 #95

I'll take my chances with the charge. (eom) Loge23 Jul 2019 #3

Funny dat! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #32

I would throw it towards the pool mercuryblues Jul 2019 #4

Very creative, mercury!! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #33

Can't throw it to anyone. I'm a paraplegic. n/t zackymilly Jul 2019 #5

for the win. KG Jul 2019 #11

Why couldn't you throw if you were a paraplegic? n/t sl8 Jul 2019 #18

maybe he's paralyzed from the waist up? qazplm135 Jul 2019 #26

Yep. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #35

In addition to the paraplegia? sl8 Jul 2019 #50

the literal definition doesn't but qazplm135 Jul 2019 #55

I also lost my arms in the accident. nt zackymilly Jul 2019 #111

I think you're thinking of quadriplegic n/t JustFiveMoreMinutes Jul 2019 #141

I didn't hear anyone yell for help. MontanaMama Jul 2019 #6

Nope. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #36

"Help!" is "Soshilism!" Grins Jul 2019 #88

I'd get up and walk away... lame54 Jul 2019 #7

I like that one. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #53

I'd toss it between them, and let them fight over it. GoCubsGo Jul 2019 #8

Brilliant! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #38

You beat me to it. So,,,,,, Good one! keithbvadu2 Jul 2019 #97

The situation requires careful analysis. Ask them which one deserves it more dalton99a Jul 2019 #9

Nice. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #134

I'd order pizza, wings, and beer and invite the neighbors over! 🍻 Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #10

Good idea! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #61

Here's a variant: Buns_of_Fire Jul 2019 #12

You win the thread! LOL. n/t rzemanfl Jul 2019 #15

Very well done! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #39

DUZY!!!! Takket Jul 2019 #86

I would watch them both drown .... CatMor Jul 2019 #13

Ah, good point! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #40

Throw it to neither one and make them try to reach it and fight over it? Freethinker65 Jul 2019 #14

Silly. Throw it in and let the two of them duke it out for possession. Hekate Jul 2019 #16

Right on. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #57

Tough luck! eShirl Jul 2019 #17

Meh, they should just pull themselves up by their own bootstraps jberryhill Jul 2019 #19

Absolutely, huh? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #41

I'd throw it in such a way that it would "accidentally" miss. Crunchy Frog Jul 2019 #20

Surely sending them "thoughts and prayers" is sufficient action to avoid a manslaughter charge. meadowlander Jul 2019 #21

Works wonders for every mass shooting ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #47

I tried to help them maxrandb Jul 2019 #22

Clever! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #42

I'm not just paraplegic. I'm blind and deaf, too. librechik Jul 2019 #23

Lyrics Slightly Modified R. P. McMurphy Jul 2019 #24

The republican way. SouthernProgressive Jul 2019 #25

If it was Trump you know he would stiff you. nt avebury Jul 2019 #28

Yeah. He is in a bad spot. NT SouthernProgressive Jul 2019 #30

Ewwwww....please check your spelling. The damn keys are right rzemanfl Jul 2019 #79

Absolutely. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #83

Quite good, that! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #45

try and find a way to instantly become a quadraplegic qazplm135 Jul 2019 #27

LOL! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #52

I'll take prison for $200, Alex liberaltrucker Jul 2019 #29

For $200 - What is the name of America's biggest scoundrel? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #44

I would ask my phone to call my far left Doreen Jul 2019 #31

If not - Oh what a loss!! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #54

.... Doreen Jul 2019 #58

Off to the kitchen... LunaSea Jul 2019 #34

Ha! Ha! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #48

I guess I'm getting arrested. nt Flaleftist Jul 2019 #37

Hard to argue... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #51

Is this a timed test? Brother Buzz Jul 2019 #43

Yes. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #49

Well, it my best Jack Benny voice.... Brother Buzz Jul 2019 #56

But...but... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #59

Toss Cheney a shotgun and let history repeat itself. Kaleva Jul 2019 #46

I'd throw it into the bushes/over the fence/into the neighbor's yard and say "oops, missed" n/t Blaukraut Jul 2019 #60

What a shame. What a shame. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #62

Do my time as an American hero randr Jul 2019 #63

Wow. You certainly would be. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #65

I thought they were faking it... stillcool Jul 2019 #64

Perfectly plausible - given both of their track records ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #66

I'm a paraplegic, so... sdfernando Jul 2019 #67

Not the definition of a paraplegic. Tipperary Jul 2019 #71

Woops...sorry, you are correct.... sdfernando Jul 2019 #76

That's ok - you apologized. So we know you're not a Trump troll! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #80

OK, a serious answer: I'd throw it to Cheney. First Speaker Jul 2019 #68

I think you're right, and your the first one on this thread to save either, I believe! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #73

I agree cheney nini Jul 2019 #94

Perhaps not - with all ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #133

LOL nini Jul 2019 #137

At least Cheney supports gay marriage. skypilot Jul 2019 #128

True. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #135

Abstains from alcohol. skypilot Jul 2019 #138

I'd throw a knife to each one and chum the waters for the sharks. Ilsa Jul 2019 #69

Woah. I think we might have a winner (and there's lots of great competition here!) ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #75

The only reasonable thing to do is break the life preserver in two ProudLib72 Jul 2019 #72

Wow. Another brilliant suggestion! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #77

I would conference call their respective daughters and ask them what to do rufus dog Jul 2019 #74

Very clever. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #78

I'd offer my thoughts and prayers DBoon Jul 2019 #81

The Paul Ryan rescue move, huh? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #92

I'm throwing it over their heads. No manslaughter if I at least TRIED to save them Takket Jul 2019 #82

Doesn't sound like you tried too hard ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #90

Does the life preserver have to be inflated? Nt spooky3 Jul 2019 #84

Uh, no. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #89

Throw it to Cheney. MicaelS Jul 2019 #85

Probably a smart choice, but ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #87

If the pool is in Florida, there is a surplus of gators here at140 Jul 2019 #91

I do!! Right on! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #93

I'd make an emergency call for help to Mitch McConnell. smirkymonkey Jul 2019 #96

LOL nini Jul 2019 #104

Love it! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #112

Throw it to Trump -- he's too incompetent and prone to panicky flailing to use it properly anyway RockRaven Jul 2019 #98

Excellent, RR! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #113

I'd throw it in the middle of the 2. Let them decide. I'm a bad aim tho. Fla Dem Jul 2019 #99

is the preserver flammable? pansypoo53219 Jul 2019 #100

Hopefully! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #114

I would sit down Turbineguy Jul 2019 #101

Me too. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #116

Are we in Florida? Moostache Jul 2019 #102

Wow. That's quite creative... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #117

I would throw it to Cheney Goodheart Jul 2019 #103

I can hear now as he's going under... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #118

I was expecting a question like "what kind of sandwich would you make while watching them drown?" Clash City Rocker Jul 2019 #105

That's the follow-up thread ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #119

Hey, I thought they were practicing a synchronized swimming routine. AJT Jul 2019 #106

LOL! Clever dat! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #120

I suppose you could put it on yourself and then drive your wheelchair as fast as it can go.... Thomas Hurt Jul 2019 #107

Hmmm. ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #121

I would claim the life preserver is too heavy for me to lift, grumpyduck Jul 2019 #108

Hysterical! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #122

#1-Nothing they are both scum so they will float -and quite frankly they do not need any help lunasun Jul 2019 #109

I think you're on to something there... ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #123

Throw it, and hope it hits both of them. guillaumeb Jul 2019 #110

Fill it with lead first, you meant to add! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #124

Agreed. guillaumeb Jul 2019 #129

Would you guys promise to write me in prison? Couldn't save either. Vinca Jul 2019 #115

How could you live with yourself not saving the life of either of those public servants? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #125

Break the thing in two and toss them each half. nt littlemissmartypants Jul 2019 #126

As long as it floats like a rock, that would be fine ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #127

I would drink a glass of wine while watching them rateyes Jul 2019 #130

Priceless! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #132

I would stand trial. nt Blue_true Jul 2019 #131

That would seem to be easier on one's conscience, huh? ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #136

Exactly. Not saving one would bother me, but not as much as saving one would weigh on my conscience Blue_true Jul 2019 #145

I see a stamp on the life preserver that says "Hecho en China" Lucid Dreamer Jul 2019 #139

Or write "USS John McCain" on it grumpyduck Jul 2019 #140

LOL! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #143

I think I'd just pee in the pool. pecosbob Jul 2019 #142

Oh, you're bad. Letting two selfless, distinguished public servants drown right before your eyes! ElementaryPenguin Jul 2019 #144