Here's a screenshot of the most astonishing & distressing page from the private JP Morgan report

[Chainfire]

19. You all have to quit fretting

The cat V hurricane that wrecked my place last year (worst ever recorded in the region) was just a coincidence. It is probably all of those liberal scientists who make all that money off of carbon trades that is causing the problems. I am glad that the extremely wealthy have a plan to survive, and I am sure that the wealth they continue to gather will trickle down on me. As a matter of fact, I am feeling trickled on often.

All scientists are liberal tree huggers, except for the honest ones that work for big oil. They are all educated at liberal colleges who teach them to hate America. You have a choice, believe the honest hedge fund managers or believe socialists climate scientists, I don't know how it should be so damn difficult.