General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]Caliman73
(11,726 posts)I think that the idea that "rape is about power, not sex" is misunderstood. There is no doubt that rape involves sexual acts, that is in the very definition of rape. A motivator may be that the rapist feels entitled to sex, but the primary motivator is in the "taking" in the power to take what they want from the other person.
People have sex for a variety of reasons, only some of which involve a connection and "love". The difference in what motivates a rapist and what motivates the average "horny" person, is the idea of consent. Having sex, whether with your spouse, partner, or even a sex worker is about a consensual transaction. No one is "taking" something from anyone without a tacit approval and in many respects both are giving as well.
Rape turns that dynamic on its head and the focus on on the violation, the coercive "taking" and not on the sex act itself. The focus is on the POWER of one person to take that most intimate aspect of the other person and use it for their own gratification. You can argue that the rapist may be feeling horny, but the primary reason they rape rather than approach sex from any other angle, is because they feel they have the POWER and right to do so regardless of the consent of the other person.
It is about power.