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In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]fishwax
(29,148 posts)33. You don't need sex to live, so the comparison to a starving man stealing food isn't a good one
The point of saying it isn't about sex but rather about power is that rape never happens without power dynamics coming into play. Rape does happen without traditional sexual contact (i.e. rape by instrumentation) and it can happen without sexual release or satisfaction on the part of the attacker. Because the power is the essential element.
How often does it happen that some guy thinks, "Here she is. If I just go ahead and take what I want, I won't have to be horny and suffering and miserable any more." ?
That's still about power: lots of men get really turned on at some point in their lives, but they don't commit rape unless they decide to force that issue. They have to, at the least, be willing to flex some power/force. I don't think anyone ever thinks "gee I really have no desire to hurt women or exercise power over them, but what choice do I have?" The point is that in your scenario it still isn't really about sex because sex/sexual desire is not a sufficient condition (or even a necessary one) for rape. The power--the unspoken "I can force this person to give it to me"--is.
Sometimes stealing can be an exercise of power as well. There's a great scene in The Wire in which Marlo Stansfield, a local drug kingpin, loses a big hand at poker and then goes to a convenience store, where he pays for a drink and at the same time steals a lollipop, making direct eye contact with the security guard as he does so. It's a power move: he's upset that he's lost this big hand and he responds to that threat against his power by flexing on the security guard. It's theft with a show of force. Not all theft requires a show of force, because not all thefts are about power. But rape always requires some sort of force/compulsion. Because rape is about power.
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Research finds that childhood trauma and lack of empathy are two of the most reliable predictors of
WhiskeyGrinder
Mar 2021
#1
Apparently the woman should feel SORRY for the rapist because he was just so 'horny."
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#38
This is not a new premise. Law enforcement specializing in sexual assault have maintained
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#4
I believe a signficant proportion never even complete the sex act or maintain an erection and thus
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#28
No. It has no effect on reading responses. If you are ashamed as you SHOULD be, then
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#64
Sexual gratification possible only through violence or force over another is truly exerting POWER
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#29
Trying desperately to find an uncontrollable motivation, does, indeed normalize the behavior and
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#66
Exactly. A horny person can self gratify, and not rape. In my mind, as a woman who was
LiberalLoner
Mar 2021
#11
Thank you. My key chain says "mean people suck." I spend my time now with very few
LiberalLoner
Mar 2021
#55
There was an attempt to chemically castrate sex offenders in previous decades. It did not
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#34
Obviously, there is quite a lot you are not informed about. So that makes this thread
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#52
Rape is about power and that power is manifested by the forceful, unwanted, taking of sex.
Caliman73
Mar 2021
#21
Equating power only with social dynamics is ridiculous. Race or even gender does not prevent
hlthe2b
Mar 2021
#42
You don't need sex to live, so the comparison to a starving man stealing food isn't a good one
fishwax
Mar 2021
#33
"Sex often is a powerful drive, and if there is no outlet for it, it can drive somebody nuts."
IcyPeas
Mar 2021
#60
I agree that this original post should be deleted. It is more harmful than helpful.
LiberalLoner
Mar 2021
#72