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Tue Mar 30, 2021, 07:15 AM

Georgia Governor Declares Water a Gateway Drug That Leads to Voting [View all]

ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—Raising the ante in his ongoing battle with the aqueous substance, Georgia’s governor, Brian Kemp, has declared water “a gateway drug that leads to voting.”

“We’ve consulted a lot of studies on this,” he said. “People are much more likely to vote if they are under the influence of water.”

The governor said that he was considering a number of measures to address water addiction, including stiffer penalties for voting while quenching.

In his starkest warning, Kemp told those who traffic in the banned liquid, “We’re coming after you,” and promised prison time for anyone combining hydrogen and oxygen in illegal water labs.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/georgia-governor-declares-water-a-gateway-drug-that-leads-to-voting




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Reply Georgia Governor Declares Water a Gateway Drug That Leads to Voting [View all]
Rhiannon12866 Mar 2021 OP
SheltieLover Mar 2021 #1
SheltieLover Mar 2021 #2
Rhiannon12866 Mar 2021 #3
SheltieLover Mar 2021 #5
AllaN01Bear Mar 2021 #7
Lovie777 Mar 2021 #4
usaf-vet Mar 2021 #11
Rhiannon12866 Mar 2021 #12
AllaN01Bear Mar 2021 #6
multigraincracker Mar 2021 #8
Buns_of_Fire Mar 2021 #9
BSdetect Mar 2021 #10
WarGamer Mar 2021 #13
Rhiannon12866 Mar 2021 #14