So the only other alternative is for you to leave, or stay and take the risk. Sounds like leaving would mean being ostracized and possibly disowned by the relatives.

I know that I would have just left. But not everyone would feel that they could make that choice.

I used to have a verbally abusive father-in-law. The family tolerated his tyranny in silence and I was expected to do the same. I was young, in my 20s, and was brought up to respect elders and parental figures. I also wanted to avoid creating trouble between my husband and his family, or between his family and me. But one day in the middle of a large family dinner he started in on me verbally and I had had enough. I knew my husband would not speak up on my behalf. Nobody spoke up to that guy. I did not respond to him, did not excuse myself from the table, did not say a word. I just silently stood up and walked out the door.

I was a couple blocks away when my husband caught up with me in the car. He told me to get in, return to dinner, and apologize to everyone. I refused and kept walking. My husband and I lived on the other side of town, a very long walk for me, but I was angry enough to do it.

When my husband realized that I would not give in, he said that he would drive me home. He did, and then called to tell his family that I was not feeling well so he was staying home with me. I refused to go to the next couple of family dinners. My husband's relatives pleaded with me to stop making an issue of it and said I could not do that indefinitely, but I said that I would until he apologized. After several weeks, he did. Following that, I went to their house only for holidays.

Eventually I divorced the husband who turned out to be as abusive as his father. I have no reluctance since then to refuse to tolerate behavior that is harmful to me.