"We can disagree and still be friends". No. No, we can't. [View all]

[babylonsister]

Is lack of punctuation a thing now? While I approve this message, I am too old to omit things I've used all my life, like apostrophes.

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/6/12/2246338/--We-can-disagree-and-still-be-friends-No-No-we-can-t?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web

"We can disagree and still be friends". No. No, we can't.
Wednesday, June 12, 2024 at 4:30:47p EDT
ultrageek



I just posted this on FB. Im posting it here. Feel free to post it elsewhere. People need to understand what is being asked of them in the name of friendship.

-=-=-=-=-


There seem to be more and more posts about how we can disagree about politics and individual politicians and still be friends.

Or, maybe they take the politics out and say that we SHOULD be able to disagree and still be friends.
And, sure, yeah, we SHOULD. But, no, we can't. Not any more.

Because this isn't a question of whether you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla.

This is a question of fundamental civil rights. And can be a question of life and death.

Letz take the abortion just to start, cuz Im sick of making this just about queers. Itz about queers too. Itz about EVERYTHING. But letz just start with abortion.

If this was a "we disagree, but we can be friends" stance, your conservative friend would be saying, "abortion isnt right for me, but, hey, you do what's right for you."

They're not saying that.

They are saying "abortion isnt right for me, therefore, abortion should be illegal for you".

It doesnt matter to them what you think under normal circumstances. It doesnt matter to them what you think under extreme circumstances. It doesnt matter to them what you are going through in REAL LIFE, their hypothetical overrides everything.

They may modify their hypothetical to incorporate particular arguments, like, rape and incest, or to save your life, if they think that will make things more palatable for now.

But it doesnt matter how they modify their hypothetical to win you over. However they modify their stance now can change again tomorrow. Because it isnt real. And while you are trying to pin them down on precisely which rights you are allowed in which circumstances, NONE OF THAT IS THE POINT.

The point is: THEIR HYPOTHETICAL IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR REALITY.

And theres no friendship possible if you have to change the way *YOU* LIVE to suit *THEIR* HYPOTHETICAL.

It's not just abortion. It's every touchpoint in your life. Birth. Death. Marriage. What you wear. What you read. What sports you get to play. Where you get to pee.

And then, whatever they decide is next. Because, it wasn't that long ago that women-of-child-bearing-years were prohibited from working particular jobs, thatz *sure* to come back. There are "child endangerment" issues concerning what you can do while pregnant. Like lifting heavy objects. Women are going to jail/prison for having a miscarriage. This isn't theoretical. This is happening.

And, who knows what comes next? There's always SOMETHING on the horizon. Maybe they'll start hating on Dick van Dyke or Dolly Parton. You cant control what they are going to start saying isnt ok, or is mandatory.

This is just starting. And once it starts, there is no stopping it: *nothing* is out of bounds.

There IS no "You respect me; I respect you" which is what the entire basis of friendship is.

No.

It is "You respect me; I *control* you"

Thatz not friendship. That can be a kinda fun S&M game. But that isnt real life friendship.

No.

Real life friendship is that we are equals here. I may or may not approve of everything that you do, but I support your right to manage your own life how it seems best to you so long as we can agree on certain basics like "dont rob the corner liquor store".

They dont want to agree on anything. They dont want to negotiate anything. And they dont want to *support* you in ANYTHING.

That isnt in their playbook.

Their playbook is “YOU PLAY BY MY RULES”. Or, in plainspeak, "I get to make YOUR life what *I* say is ok."

F*ck that.
F*ck them.
And really, if it comes right down to it, f*ck that friendship.
Because itz not a friendship at all.

Itz a framing issue to guilt you into forfeiting Very Important Rights. Rights which, once gone, will never come back.