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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Fri Jan 20, 2012, 07:13 PM

171. "is it rape?"

here's a post from the "old DU" dated 11/07: current additions in italics

is it rape when a man wheedles and begs and pleads incessantly for hours, days unless the woman gives in and "has sex" even though she don't want to?

is it reasonable for a man, whose SO for whatever reason (physical, emotional, psychological) is unable to freely have relations, to go out and "get it" elsewhere? Is it HER fault? Is he justified because she won't give it up? Because, after all, men NEED to get laid, right? If he's not getting what he NEEDS from the relationship then it's okay for him to seek it elsewhere. However, if she's not getting what she needs from the relationship, it is NOT okay for her to seek it elsewhere, of course. and then he wants to come home and do it and godforbid you should be upset that he had sex with some stranger - hooker, stripper, whoever - and you KNOW he won't use a condom!

is it rape if he browbeats and threatens to leave if she doesn't do it? and frequently packs up his clothes in the car leaving the children crying please don't make daddy leave, cause of course he tells them it's mommy's fault he has to go so you give in and do it

is it rape if he er - "insists" that she have sex. as in - you know - you say NO - and he does it anyway

is it rape if she wakes up to find that he's having sex with her?

is it rape if - after repeated incidents (wheedling, pleading, threatening, insulting, whining) she'll finally say - just do it. hurry up and get it over with. and just lays there and he does it and then gets pissed because she didn't enjoy it? and she gets up and throws up and hides in the bathroom until he falls asleep?

when he's drunk. when he's mad. when's he sad. when he's happy. when he's BORED. sex sex sex sex sex sex.

Like it's the ONLY thing that matters.

If she feels like a blow up a doll, a piece of meat, if she feels like he doesn't give a DAMN about her or her feelings, if he's oh so very good at telling her how much he f'ing HATES her and how she ruined his gd life! but oh yeah, how about a blow, honey? C'mon, you know you want it. . .



When it's got to the point when he's drinking that she adds a little something to his beer so he'll please dear god fall asleep quickly. And he does on the couch and she leaves him there and goes to bed only to be awakened about 3 am by his pawing so she says she has to go to the bathroom and sits there in the dark using a towel as a blanket 'cause it's damn cold waiting waiting waiting for him to fall back asleep. And as she starts to walk back into the bedroom she realizes what the hell am I doing? if I go in there he'll just wake up now or in the morning and start in again, so she goes downstairs and sleep on the couch. And he wakes up the next morning confused a little bit but wants her to "bring him coffee". Don't worry about the kids, they're still asleep. So she makes sure to wake them up as soon as possible. But then he says, turn on the tv for 'em and lock the door. simple.

And she gets to the point that she keep her kids in the house and won't let them go outside to play or to a friends house when he's home, because if he gets her alone, he's going to START.

then there's the night he chases you around the house threatening to f'ing kill you if you don't just f him and you wind up hiding behind a piece of furniture all night long in the middle of winter freezing because you're afraid to come out.

When you try and try and try to get him to understand that if he would just stop acting in such a manner, then maybe you could have normal relations at some point but as long as he acting the way he is, you just CAN'T - and he gets mad and calls you a frigid bitch and leaves for the strip club. And then comes home and wants it 'cause - well he was at the strip club and he's all h-rny so you should just DO IT whether you FING WANT TO OR NOT!

Begging, pleading, wheedling, threatening, crying, storming out, coming back, yelling, screaming, name-calling . . . until she "gives in".

Tell me, is it rape?

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