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ShazzieB

(19,357 posts)
64. I don't know...
Fri Sep 6, 2024, 10:16 PM
Sep 2024
Would it be too much for schools to form "Friendship Clubs" -- kids who would make it a point to eat lunch with the loner, to drag the loner out of his/her shell as best they can?

This might be helpful to some kids, I guess. But I was a loner, not because I wanted to be, but because I was painfully shy with a ton of social anxiety that was exacerbated by my family moving around too damned much during my tween and teen years. The idea of my peers being tasked with trying to "drag" me out of my shell makes me shudder. I was IN that shell to begin with because of my peers treating me like a freak because I didn't talk, dress, act, and think exactly like everybody else. The last thing I would have wanted was to be targeted with forced "friendliness" by the same kids who I already KNEW saw me as a weirdo and a misfit.

I think one of the best things schools could do is teach kids about how people are NOT all just alike, and that's OKAY.

In my experience, teens are, collectively, the most judgmental people in the world, and they can be beastly to any kid who is a little bit different in any way. Every time we moved and I had to change schools, each school had its own culture and its own rigid set of unspken rules about what was socially acceptable, and God help anyone who didn't know ALL of those rules and follow them perfectly. It was exhausting trying to figure out what the expectations were in each new place, and anyone who isn't clairvoyant is bound to mess up somewhere. So of course I did mess up,
especially when I was new somewhere and still trying to figure out how things worked.

I wish that schools would teach kids that it's perfectly all right to be "different," and that being a square peg who doesn't quite fit into the little round hole everyone thinks you should fit into does NOT mean you are a freak or a complete failure at life. It would have meant the world to me to hear a message like that, and I think it would have done the kids who were NOT misfits a lot of good as well, in a different kind of way. It might have helped all of us to be nicer to each other and less quick to pronouce judgment.

Nothing like that ever happened at any of the schools I attended. We were all allowed to treat each other however we wanted and ostracize anyone who didn't fit in The kids who knew how to fit in or had some ability they could get recognition for found success and approval in various ways while the rest of us floundered along as best we could.

The teachers never seemed to notice someone was having trouble, unless they acted out or or were literally flunking. People like me, who were quiet and shy and didn't cause any trouble, who were not stellar students but not literally failing any of their classes were ignored. I got along fine with teachers and other adults, and they never seemed to notice I had any problems or needs that weren't being met.

Nobody paid any attention to bzd bullying or acknowledged it in any way back then. Nowadays, everyone knows bullying is a thing, but the approach seems to mainly be just to tell kids not to do it and maybe punish them if they do. IF anyone is teaching kids to accept and embrace their own and each another's differences, to be kind to themselves and their peers, and to understand that we're all different and that that's a feature of being human, not a bug, I'm not aware of it. But I think that could help SO much.

P.S. Sorry for writing a freaking book, lol. This topic stuck a nerve with me!

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

The father should be arrested and placed in jail pending trial. Irish_Dem Sep 2024 #1
He has been. n/t Dennis Donovan Sep 2024 #2
Wow, the criminal justice system doing its job. Irish_Dem Sep 2024 #9
Doing the job a year too late orthoclad Sep 2024 #40
Yes. Irish_Dem Sep 2024 #50
No bail? MichMan Sep 2024 #20
TBD..... n/t lastlib Sep 2024 #24
i may be wrong, but soldierant Sep 2024 #62
Maybe, like Lauren Boebert, he wanted to make sure his son would be a "real man" not one of those effeminate Walleye Sep 2024 #3
100% toxic masculinity n/t gay texan Sep 2024 #31
Descent into madness BoRaGard Sep 2024 #4
The Magats like Boebert bdamomma Sep 2024 #34
My sense of this ...parents buying children weapons/ guns... FarPoint Sep 2024 #5
Yep, buying your kid a gun at the same time saying your pro life. They are trying to virtue signal,but there's no virtue Walleye Sep 2024 #32
Another thought... FarPoint Sep 2024 #39
Makes you wonder what age they think is too young to own a gun. 12, seven, five? Walleye Sep 2024 #41
holidays in jail from now on .... DoBW Sep 2024 #6
And so he has been arrested for murder Maeve Sep 2024 #7
Let me see if I can understand his reasoning Pototan Sep 2024 #8
The boy was rewarded for his insane behavior... FarPoint Sep 2024 #42
He said he bought his son the gun to bond with him womanofthehills Sep 2024 #68
Good the Father needs to pay for what he has done...and the parents of those kids who died or were injured... Demsrule86 Sep 2024 #10
Guns and gun violence are on the ballot this fall Botany Sep 2024 #11
Let us hope that we can finally bring sanity to this issue. erronis Sep 2024 #19
The majority of Americans support reform of our insane gun laws. Botany Sep 2024 #22
Don't forget the Subversive Court loves gun violence. Hermit-The-Prog Sep 2024 #45
Nothing shows good, American Christian values, Conjuay Sep 2024 #12
Yea, bdamomma Sep 2024 #36
Here son, go murder your classmates in the name of Baby Jesus Wicked Blue Sep 2024 #60
When I heard the first name of shooter gibraltar72 Sep 2024 #13
Good pick up thanx! Colt. Botany Sep 2024 #18
That's my M-16 from Vietnam AverageOldGuy Sep 2024 #27
Although that war was wrong and awful but I am very glad your M-16 worked for you in Vietnam Botany Sep 2024 #29
My dad did the same thing gay texan Sep 2024 #33
The son was extension of fathers manhood: boy plus gun equal big peepee Demovictory9 Sep 2024 #21
make an example of him. cab67 Sep 2024 #14
This level of gun worship is a serious and dangerous pathology dlk Sep 2024 #15
AR15 type rifles are weapons of war and should be BANNED. Joinfortmill Sep 2024 #16
All of the above and Delmette2.0 Sep 2024 #17
How insane is that OMG 😳 TommieMommy Sep 2024 #23
In certain parts of the country melm00se Sep 2024 #25
what ever bdamomma Sep 2024 #37
That argument melm00se Sep 2024 #46
Guns can and do give people the feeling of power. Keepthesoulalive Sep 2024 #51
gun humpers are COWARDS Skittles Sep 2024 #56
Here's a really, really nutty idea AverageOldGuy Sep 2024 #26
Not everyone who is a loner is dangerous or a problem. meadowlander Sep 2024 #55
I don't know... ShazzieB Sep 2024 #64
The depth of depravity this story reveals is repeated across many homes in America. Aussie105 Sep 2024 #28
Look no further than mommy Boebert and her little angel big gunz boys. magicarpet Sep 2024 #30
Family values! Abolishinist Sep 2024 #67
The father sounds like another person whose mind was poisoned by RW media. Renew Deal Sep 2024 #35
The parents of the shooter in Michigan.are in jail now. They gave him the gun as a gift Srkdqltr Sep 2024 #38
There is your war on Christmas Evolve Dammit Sep 2024 #43
There is your war on Christmas Evolve Dammit Sep 2024 #44
I think our side buys telescopes as Christmas presents Stargleamer Sep 2024 #47
I am 81. If I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes, I would have to show ID to prove I am over 21 appleannie1 Sep 2024 #48
Milwaukee Irish julmur Sep 2024 #49
Man that is so fucked up Blue Owl Sep 2024 #52
Where are the parental rights people screaming about parents not being notified of credible shooting threats at brewens Sep 2024 #53
Has anyone asked the father: What the fuck were you thinking? I'd really like to hear his answer. Jim__ Sep 2024 #54
Late to the comments, GAJMac Sep 2024 #57
Guns are not an uncommon holiday present in Texas (even for kids) - TBF Sep 2024 #58
Blazing Saddles BeneteauBum Sep 2024 #59
I loves me some Fred Guttenberg Skittles Sep 2024 #61
'Cause nothing says Santa Claus and Baby Jesus like having the ability to shoot other children. tclambert Sep 2024 #63
I'm sorry. A tool made for killing. As a CHRISTMAS PRESENT!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!?!??!?!? calimary Sep 2024 #65
Nothing shows love Linda ladeewolf Sep 2024 #66
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