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In reply to the discussion: 70 lbs. down. Now I can rant about obnoxious fitness fanatics. [View all]Moostache
(9,895 posts)As someone who has piled on nearly 80-pounds in the last 4 years (lost job in '09 and had to take a night shift position 6 months after having cancer surgery - thankfully 4+ years cancer free) I find it good to hear from someone other than the usual suspects - the fitness nazis, the snakeoil salesmen, the diet-o-century clan.
I hope to find the motivation to drop the pounds, but truth be told I have no intention of losing weight for any of the traditional "reasons"...unless and until I find a personal reason that sticks, I am not going to go through the motions of convincing everyone around me that "I AM SERIOUS THIS TIME.." while personally KNOWING deep down that its just not true. Lying to yourself is the most hateful thing any of us can do, so I have no intention of doing so.
I have a similar history with smoking. I smoked cigarettes every day of my life from 16 to 37 years old. Never ONCE did I "try" to quit. No patches. No hypnosis. No placebos. No failed "attempts". Not one. Not ever. Then I had a bout of food poisoning that led to an emergency room visit (thought I was possibly having an appendicitis) and an abdominal scan that revealed a small tumor on my right kidney. Within seconds I was a former smoker. Have not had a single puff in the 4+ years since. Still WANT one every so often...but life gave me the reason to stop and a second chance to make it happen.
I tell myself all the time that I should lose the weight. I am frustrated that my clothing does not fit like it used to and that I avoid looking at myself or being photographed (Garbo has NOTHING on me in THAT category) for the last few years. But I simply know in my heart that I am not willing to change my life to change the result. I work 60 hours a week while everyone I love is asleep. I spend my weekends in a semi-zombie state trying to force myself awake to have what little time with my family that I can squeeze in. I'll be damned if I am going to make myself even MORE of a pain in the ass to be around by constantly feeling hungry or guilty or both. I have sacrificed the last 4 years to avoid moving my family out of the area they know as "home" and I am working on getting a new position that will be less stress and better hours, even if it means giving up the chase for the corner office and bigger bonus once and for all.
I'll get there. I hope it is before I have a heart attack or stroke or something else, but if my experience with cigarettes is any indication, I am probably out of luck there. I used to be thin and relatively in shape. I'm neither now and won't be for quite some time either. But I know this for a fact - no amount of external input is going to make me change one bit or lose one ounce. Those who feel that haranguing heavier people with "you can do it / you should do it / you NEED to do it" messages are doing more harm than good. I am quite sure that the guy who weighs 155 and wears a 32" waist and bounds around with nervous energy and constant motion DOES feel better when exercising and burning off excess calories. That's great for him, but its not my reality and it means about as much to me as watching Tom and Jerry would in the context of learning conflict resolution.