General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: If you are the member of a privileged group AND call yourself progressive [View all]TM99
(8,352 posts)I find that it is the word choice used that causes so much conflict thereby erasing any positives that might be gleaned from such a discussion.
"Privileged" is a rather loaded and confrontational word. Immediately, one finds themselves on the defensive. Well, yes, I am white but I am poor. Well yes, I am a man but I have not had a job for two years but my wife has. It assumes that all members of the class of 'privileged' are somehow equal in that privilege. If I am white and you are white then we have that privilege and others do not. You may not intend it to be interpreted in that way, however, that is still how it comes across.
Instead, look at Role Theory and the use of the concept of 'rank' as a substitution for privilege. Role Theory recognizes that all relationships involve roles and their symbolic meaning is viewed within the context of the situation at hand. Rank describes a member in a particular role at a particular time and within a particular context who holds a degree of 'power' or 'privilege' but the rank or role is not the person or the situation itself and the power or privilege is not absolute or constant.
Your OP is speaking in absolutes where privilege is a constant simply because it is that it is. I am white therefore I am privileged as an absolute. I am male therefore I am privileged as an absolute. The corollary, of course, is that I am female therefore, I lack privilege. I am Hispanic, therefore I lack privilege. I may be a female and not think something stated was 'sexist'. You, on the other hand, do feel it is sexist and you have an emotional reaction to it. I, as a bi-racial man (which in reality I am), may not be offended by the use of certain words which would lock my post if stated, but you may be offended. It is about context, role, and situation. I and many others are much more willing to be open to dialog when those are taken into account. But the moment that privilege and other buzz words are thrown about, communication that is effective ends.
I read your OP and I instantly feel a tension in my stomach and a desire to 'defend'. It is not because I feel you have called me out on my 'privilege' as that is contextual based upon my rank and role in various situations. It is not because I feel that you are right & I am wrong and therefore can't allow for that truth. No, it is because you are being as dismissive as those you are being critical of. You are speaking in absolutes such that you are the final arbiter of who has privilege or not and who is progressive or not.
Please instead, share with me the situation and context. Share with me your personal feelings alone instead of speaking for all others not really present. Let me know how something communicated here or elsewhere has hurt or bothered you personally and why. Give myself and others the chance to be compassionate and respectful before you have already prejudged us as having privileges we may not actually have, ideas and tastes different than your own that are somehow 'wrong', and that we are not progressive in our thinking and acting with all because you think so. You might be surprised how others respond if approached in a different way and using different forms of communication.