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ieoeja

(9,748 posts)
14. There are men who do that? I'm 51 and don't believe I have EVER witnessed that my entire life.
Fri Mar 15, 2013, 01:02 PM
Mar 2013

On historical movies, but never in real life.
k and r--and waiting for the usual. . . . niyad Mar 2013 #1
Well at this point at least no one can claim ignorance. redqueen Mar 2013 #2
Does this mean we have to stand up snooper2 Mar 2013 #3
There are men who do that? I'm 51 and don't believe I have EVER witnessed that my entire life. ieoeja Mar 2013 #14
You know, I get up whenever lapislzi Mar 2013 #22
Why is polite? MattBaggins Mar 2013 #181
Sure. But... lapislzi Mar 2013 #225
my head hurts from all the incredibly stupid, and snarky comments on this subject. niyad Mar 2013 #4
My head hurts from that too, as well as redqueen Mar 2013 #7
My advice? RobertEarl Mar 2013 #52
Don't know if it will ever be entirely so treestar Mar 2013 #60
You were #4...how many could there be??? ret5hd Mar 2013 #166
please notice that I said, "on the subject", not "in this thread" .the remark was about ALL the niyad Mar 2013 #171
Not Necessarily Stupid RobinA Mar 2013 #5
It is possible for a man to do things like open a door for women, etc geek tragedy Mar 2013 #6
Yep. Racists were raised to believe certain things about people, too. redqueen Mar 2013 #8
I wouldn't agree that the guy who opens doors geek tragedy Mar 2013 #9
Does not realizing that it's benevolent sexism make it any less an example of benevolent sexism? redqueen Mar 2013 #10
As a learned behavior, it would go under that category. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #13
men do hold the door open for other men. My husband and father hold the door open for everybody. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #18
In one of the other threads I said I hold doors for every/anyone - men, women, children. The bike man Mar 2013 #123
I don't believe opening doors is necessarily sexist. I guess it depends on the individual. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #11
I guess a point (and I do NOT speak for her) geek tragedy Mar 2013 #15
I like to assume someone is just being kind unless they prove otherwise. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #20
Indeed BuddhaGirl Mar 2013 #128
Same here. nt Mojorabbit Mar 2013 #224
Well? Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #29
"Fact of the matter is I treat women and children different than men." lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #33
Fair enough Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #35
agree, but no one called him a pig. I'd say if you have genuine concerns about office safety and bettyellen Mar 2013 #56
great post bettyellin. Those are great ideas. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #64
We have certain things Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #70
I understand that the company is saving money using you as security instead of paying someone. bettyellen Mar 2013 #78
Heh Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #91
I'm the only woman here..... MountainMama Mar 2013 #140
Yes this is a pure hypothetical MattBaggins Mar 2013 #246
Oh hush Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #247
hr/finance GIRLS?????? I am assuming that the people who work for this company are over niyad Mar 2013 #145
Yea ... girls Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #226
I repeat, girls are female children. this is simply another aspect of the nearly invisible and niyad Mar 2013 #231
he doesn't like me driving to store at night because he thinks a mass murderer will kill me while liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #36
but then there you go. Whisp Mar 2013 #62
you are correct. There are no safe places anymore. I send my kids to school everyday knowing liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #66
Guess that would all depend Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #97
my girl is now a grown woman who can do whatever she wants liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #137
some people here hfojvt Mar 2013 #71
Well with my father it is. He doesn't tell other men they shouldn't drive to the store at night. liberal_at_heart Mar 2013 #77
well my mom hfojvt Mar 2013 #173
That's not sexism per se galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #61
Your motives are admirable wryter2000 Mar 2013 #67
If he's the first there, last to leave, and the defacto security... lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #90
How do you get that from what I said? wryter2000 Mar 2013 #96
It's what he said. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #98
Everyone has points Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #105
Being a woman, Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #229
I used to work second shift and sometimes had to go to the other building where no one else was Nikia Mar 2013 #234
No, you're not sexist, you're just a practical realist and a decent human being. sabrina 1 Mar 2013 #248
To put it simply, let's learn to respect each other as humans first and foremost alp227 Mar 2013 #194
+1000. nt. polly7 Mar 2013 #204
This is critical for men today to understand especially in the workplace. galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #12
lol... you use "very feminine tactics" do you? redqueen Mar 2013 #16
Glad to answer galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #40
I am glad I don't work with you. lapislzi Mar 2013 #49
It's how you survive in 2013 America, we reap what we sow galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #55
Gotta say, very weird worldview, dude klook Mar 2013 #138
I'm right there with you and would rather absorb the hits than become the antithesis of who I strive TheKentuckian Mar 2013 #241
Are you aware that every thing you described is a definition MattBaggins Mar 2013 #243
"I fiercely protect my own" MattBaggins Mar 2013 #245
ditto noiretextatique Mar 2013 #94
Heh Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #110
i vote gibberish noiretextatique Mar 2013 #118
That's how educated people speak, I'm not sure what else to say.n/t galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #134
Oh please. davidthegnome Mar 2013 #212
are you a hermit, then? HiPointDem Mar 2013 #106
Oy olddots Mar 2013 #92
It's a tricky course to navigate. lapislzi Mar 2013 #28
lol Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #31
Your screen name AND an aphorism appear a paradox. galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #44
"very feminine tactics" geek tragedy Mar 2013 #68
I wish! Maybe then I could return them. Ugh. n/t galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #72
irony. nt geek tragedy Mar 2013 #73
are you serious? noiretextatique Mar 2013 #93
Women and often men do cry at work 2013. galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #133
whatever noiretextatique Mar 2013 #135
All the people who I have seen or heard about crying at work fit one or all of these scenarios Nikia Mar 2013 #230
and I have seen women specifically cry because men abuse them with benevolence which galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #240
Nothing says feminist thought quite like "crushing" women in business. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #209
thats the point...it does galileoreloaded Mar 2013 #228
No, sometimes discussions are about women. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #244
OK...somebody just tell me....OPEN THE DOOR FOR WOMEN OR NOT?!?!?!?!?! Taverner Mar 2013 #17
I think we should all stand around awkwardly blinking at each other... Bicoastal Mar 2013 #30
Great response #2 n/t Bay Boy Mar 2013 #85
true true olddots Mar 2013 #95
As the Who put it: deutsey Mar 2013 #126
LOL Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #150
We demand glass sliding self-opening doors everywhere. Except at our homes - hell no! freshwest Mar 2013 #239
Yes Bok_Tukalo Mar 2013 #34
Just don't do anything for anyone unless they ask you specifically for help The2ndWheel Mar 2013 #37
Open it for anyone whom you think might need assistance at that moment. ronnie624 Mar 2013 #42
Open the dor for everyone. WilliamPitt Mar 2013 #45
YES! All the time, every time! n/t lapislzi Mar 2013 #50
LOL After reading these threads, I'm ready to start slamming doors... WorseBeforeBetter Mar 2013 #54
Great response #1 n/t Bay Boy Mar 2013 #84
NO! Instead hold the door for anyone regardless of gender, then you're not sexist. Lionessa Mar 2013 #87
According to Miss Manners... Matariki Mar 2013 #132
"Simple, no?" redqueen Mar 2013 #170
What a concept. Just be a decent person klook Mar 2013 #211
BTW...What is the proper way to open a door for someone? Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #157
There's a seconds to opening thingy Taverner Mar 2013 #242
K&R. Didn't see that one coming, did you? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #19
"my co-workers are going to kill their own damn spiders" snooper2 Mar 2013 #24
Ha! I am the designated Rodent Disposal Response Unit. lapislzi Mar 2013 #53
Just let me know when you need a spider taken care of. NCTraveler Mar 2013 #38
So, what do you say, and/or do about women who expect such gestures? MadHound Mar 2013 #21
At the rate we are going every male on this upaloopa Mar 2013 #23
Yep. 99Forever Mar 2013 #26
Or more educated. nt NCTraveler Mar 2013 #39
Wow, great post. You are awesome, redqueen. Zorra Mar 2013 #25
I agree Thank you Red Queen olddots Mar 2013 #99
Would you consider the phrase "women and children first" to be exemplary of benevolent sexism? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #27
How could it not? n/t Bay Boy Mar 2013 #81
Thanks, but I'm very interested in the OP's take on this. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #88
doubt you'll get an answer. as that is one of the problems with identity politics. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #108
i answered. we have had threads on it in our feminist forum. you would be wrong. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #113
no, you didn't answer the question at all. you answered some other question in your own HiPointDem Mar 2013 #219
ha ha ha. you are right. i thought i read him asking about the sinking ship scenerio. hmmm... nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #221
i think it is ridiculous. there will be women that kick ass and are needed in an emergency. seabeyond Mar 2013 #112
Sorry, I didn't realize you were trying to pick a fight with the OP Bay Boy Mar 2013 #101
I recommended her thread. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #104
In times of war, and those are often, women and children are often first Whisp Mar 2013 #154
that whole womens first thing is fabricated to an extent. i do not remember it, seabeyond Mar 2013 #160
thanks, I'll look too, sounds interesting. n/t Whisp Mar 2013 #163
it was. i just forgot cause today i simply believe there will be useful capable women shoving men seabeyond Mar 2013 #165
It's an individual thing. If someone is not sensitive enough to easily recognize and understand Zorra Mar 2013 #232
Of all the things to discuss in this world Apophis Mar 2013 #32
We had a big to do about this when I was in upaloopa Mar 2013 #41
Many people can posses multiple concerns simultaneously. LanternWaste Mar 2013 #51
even though enough folks have explained it to you beyond the holding of the door, this is where you seabeyond Mar 2013 #115
It's stupid to put down people for being nice. Apophis Mar 2013 #121
it is even more stupid to claim people are putting down others who are being nice. seabeyond Mar 2013 #122
This message was self-deleted by its author Apophis Mar 2013 #124
if I could rewrite history I would olddots Mar 2013 #43
Open the dor for everyone. WilliamPitt Mar 2013 #46
With one side of the arguement saying.... Purplehazed Mar 2013 #47
I believe that benevolent sexism is "sometimes" good. ieoeja Mar 2013 #48
put off asking for help treestar Mar 2013 #57
It's not that I don't recognize it, it's that I don't care LittleBlue Mar 2013 #58
+1 Go Vols Mar 2013 #131
My basic rules of polite behavior are based on the principle that MineralMan Mar 2013 #59
Seems like this is a "problem" solved by a simple "Thank you" or "No, thank you". Tierra_y_Libertad Mar 2013 #63
As I get older I find there's 'benevolent ageism' too lunatica Mar 2013 #65
Benevolent ageism is actually the law in places. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #69
Yup. And individuals decide for themselves if they fit that MineralMan Mar 2013 #75
I'll offer my seat to a woman Lurker Deluxe Mar 2013 #117
I think of that law as being quite deliberately aimed towards actions that are benevolent lunatica Mar 2013 #76
I wouldn't call that benevolent ageism. geek tragedy Mar 2013 #79
Yes. Condescencion born of stereotyping lunatica Mar 2013 #82
At age 67, I have no issue with it. MineralMan Mar 2013 #74
I agree with you on this lunatica Mar 2013 #80
I've realized that I'm the age of most checkout clerks' MineralMan Mar 2013 #83
The first Boy Scout that Bay Boy Mar 2013 #86
Social security is entirely predicated on "benevolent ageism". lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #120
I thought it was based on... Bay Boy Mar 2013 #129
The whole point is that the elderly can't work, right? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #130
My point is not about common sense laws and social programs lunatica Mar 2013 #136
From the link: Bay Boy Mar 2013 #89
not an example of 'benevolent sexism' though. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #100
You don't think letting her fold his laundry... Bay Boy Mar 2013 #103
Maybe it is. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #114
no. it's an example of a strange creepy guy being creepy. HiPointDem Mar 2013 #220
Definitely more offensive to relinquish women to domestic activities. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #222
thank you redq. i was gonna do this but, walking out the door. seeing the nonthinking replies were seabeyond Mar 2013 #102
Holding the door is just one thing. It really says a lot when it's obvious how little people know redqueen Mar 2013 #177
I guess lighting a woman's cigarette is totally out of the question ... Bake Mar 2013 #107
Well it is polite if she is busy breast feeding at the olive garden and needs help lighting it (nt) The Straight Story Mar 2013 #109
I don't think there is a lot of confusion over the topic. Rex Mar 2013 #111
Not so much confusion as cognitive dissonance. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #116
Yep that is it right there. Rex Mar 2013 #119
I don't swear when ladies are present. Nye Bevan Mar 2013 #125
And would you believe there was a time in some restaurants that a server would snappyturtle Mar 2013 #127
old here, as well. I can still remember times that the check was automatically placed in front niyad Mar 2013 #147
yes. i remember. and i always had a blast picking it up. but then, i recognized the hypocrisy of seabeyond Mar 2013 #148
You're so right! I'd forgotten....the age thingie I guess! nt snappyturtle Mar 2013 #149
I once went to a restaurant where some menus had the prices, and others did not. Nye Bevan Mar 2013 #151
yup. lol. totally forgot that one, lol. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #152
Never saw that but did see both menus withoout pricing....which always meant $$$$$. nt snappyturtle Mar 2013 #153
oh yes, that one, as well. niyad Mar 2013 #155
Things like this is why the end of the PBS show makers was so depressing. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #139
and some women have never participated and uses it to dismiss feminism without thinking thru seabeyond Mar 2013 #141
I certainly hope you are not trying to accuse me in some backhanded way of sitting in ignorance. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #143
i do not know raine. i have yet to see an opinion on sexism. only feminists. and what is not seabeyond Mar 2013 #146
The only posts you have read of mine are the ones you choose to have read. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #158
I did not say I didn't believe in benevolent sexism. That said, I don't believe in many theories. seabeyond Mar 2013 #162
You are now just being obtuse and beligerant. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #169
Well done. DURHAM D Mar 2013 #167
Very interesting article - thanks for the link. klook Mar 2013 #142
I appreciate this. Raine1967 Mar 2013 #144
Thank you. Apophis Mar 2013 #168
What are you talking about when you say "stuff like this"? redqueen Mar 2013 #174
I work on the 8th floor of a 15 story building.... Cali_Democrat Mar 2013 #156
that is all. we had a conversation about it in our forum. discussion. no more or less. and that seabeyond Mar 2013 #159
No, we need to keep this thread alive until everyone has the rules down... snooper2 Mar 2013 #238
This happens where I work too justiceischeap Mar 2013 #186
With all of our problems....WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE? peace13 Mar 2013 #161
cause guys started a big boob thread to have their kicks talking about womens boobs and in that seabeyond Mar 2013 #164
: ) peace13 Mar 2013 #184
starving and homeless people are not the only problems in this country, or anywhere else in the niyad Mar 2013 #172
Aaaa, I never said one thing. peace13 Mar 2013 #178
"arguing about holding a the door open for a woman degrades women" redqueen Mar 2013 #180
Then flipping hide the thread if you care so little! Why are you freaking out? redqueen Mar 2013 #176
If opening a door for a person can be sexual harassment then this world is lost. peace13 Mar 2013 #179
Yeah, I didn't say it was sexual harassment. redqueen Mar 2013 #182
This is the kind of stuff we discuss all the time in feminist theory courses. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #183
I think it is pretty low on the chart but hey.... peace13 Mar 2013 #185
It's called deconstructionism. And it's important. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #187
Deconstruct away. peace13 Mar 2013 #189
Most sexism now a days is covert and fragmented. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #190
If you are a female I just can't believe that you fall for that bull. peace13 Mar 2013 #191
Play footsy? Do you think this is a game or something? Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #192
This is similar reasoning a republican uses when discussing affirmative action. n/t egduj Mar 2013 #175
Maybe every time we bring up a feminist issue that people just love derailing, we should place bets redqueen Mar 2013 #188
"We"? Perhaps the "redqueen" name is going to your head cthulu2016 Mar 2013 #193
really? lordy, lol. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #197
I was just accused of not helping the homeless for practicing feminist deconstruction. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #196
i love the deconstruction conversation. i had not heard it that way, but it is exactly seabeyond Mar 2013 #198
Even when we discuss something like benevolent sexism we say "possible sexism..." Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #200
true that. good point. thanks. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #202
Every woman that ever slapped a man should be arrested. Bonobo Mar 2013 #195
agreed. i have never advocated women having the right to physically assault anyone. nt seabeyond Mar 2013 #199
Excellent. Bonobo Mar 2013 #201
bonobo. you are arguing with the wrong person. seabeyond Mar 2013 #203
I believe it was Marlyn Frye who talked about obsession with male access to everything. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #205
The point of this thread is equality. Bonobo Mar 2013 #206
This is a thread chiefly on the discussion of benevelant sexism against women Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #208
The issues are entirely related. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #213
How is benevelant sexism against women related to violence against men? Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #214
Sexism Bonobo Mar 2013 #216
Yeah, I'm not playing that game with you either. Gravitycollapse Mar 2013 #217
I am sorry but I think you just quit when you realized I was right. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #218
Ain't that the truth Matariki Mar 2013 #210
It happens. Every. Single. Time. n/t MadrasT Mar 2013 #227
I agree. It is battery. Nobody should be slapping anyone. Luminous Animal Mar 2013 #207
Hmm davidthegnome Mar 2013 #215
Wow - so much 'study' and hand wringing over molehill - made into mountain. Zax2me Mar 2013 #223
Well, rq, you obviously hit dead center of the bullseye with your OP subject line. Zorra Mar 2013 #233
It really isn't complicated. And it ties into rape culture, so it is important. redqueen Mar 2013 #235
It's a strawman to use to bash feminists gollygee Mar 2013 #236
+1 n/t fishwax Mar 2013 #237
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