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IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)
180. The POINT is that she was RAPED.
Wed Apr 10, 2013, 10:31 AM
Apr 2013

"Slut Shaming" - of which she was FALSELY ACCUSED - may have been a "secondary" problem, but *In My Opinion* the *REAL PROBLEMS* were that

1) She Was Raped.
2) EVERYONE knew she was Raped.
3) NO ONE Cared / There Was No Justice.
4) She was told SHE was responsible for her suffering.
5) She felt HELPLESS to prevent it occurring in the future.

When you tie it up with what I perceive to be NONSENSE about "slut shaming" while pretending the word doesn't even exist, or doesn't mean what it has meant for centuries, you seem to be missing the real points/sounding like a person with a specific agenda:

For you, "slut shaming" seems to be the problem, which you associate with "victim blaming" - for me, four rapists raped a girl, and she didn't feel safe because NOTHING HAPPENED TO THEM.

Our culture does not currently empower people to seek their own justice; as a civilization, we rely on police and our judicial system, which despite a record number of incarcerated citizens, does not satisfy the burning urge for justice for most crime victims, with an especial heinous record of abject failure to those who are victims of sexual crimes.

In my opinion, *this* is the real double-standard: "Trust that justice will be served/do not enact your own." When it fails, there is no sense of personal safety.

I wish she had killed the boys instead of herself. Unfortunately, that is not how we train our citizens, and odds are good these guys will commit future crimes (if they haven't already). There was no justice, the victim is dead, and the criminals roam free and are celebrated for their behavior.

As I said, "slut shaming" is the *least* of the problems this case brings up for me.

this is so far beyond sickening. . . niyad Apr 2013 #1
the phrasing "educate ... about what's appropriate behavior" makes me vomit nadine_mn Apr 2013 #124
apparently this guy is in deep s*** for some remarks he made a few months ago in niyad Apr 2013 #127
Yep. Reminds me of the US commercial media's Steubenville coverage alp227 Apr 2013 #150
I'm relieved local news is handling this one a bit better so far, at least Posteritatis Apr 2013 #206
They know. They also know they can get away with it. Education won't do it. TheMadMonk Apr 2013 #156
K&R. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #2
lol, so you can't even spell out "slut" quinnox Apr 2013 #3
What is a "slut"? zappaman Apr 2013 #5
good point quinnox Apr 2013 #12
why don't you tell us BainsBane Apr 2013 #40
I'll let this woman tell you... zappaman Apr 2013 #48
does that fit the circumstances of a young woman BainsBane Apr 2013 #56
You asked a question.. zappaman Apr 2013 #77
no, you didn't answer BainsBane Apr 2013 #132
"when shew as working as the comic" JI7 Apr 2013 #76
Do you find this case amusing? MineralMan Apr 2013 #173
Yes, Zappaman..Why don't you tell us? whathehell Apr 2013 #61
Sure.! zappaman Apr 2013 #73
"Sure" my ass. whathehell Apr 2013 #88
What's your definition? zappaman Apr 2013 #89
Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #114
Actually it can be applied to both genders... zappaman Apr 2013 #115
looking at the hidden post and yours, one notices that they seem to be identical. niyad Apr 2013 #119
It isn't applied to both genders BainsBane Apr 2013 #133
Sure it is. zappaman Apr 2013 #134
You do realize this OP is about a dead rape victim? BainsBane Apr 2013 #137
Sure it matters. zappaman Apr 2013 #139
It's not a different matter BainsBane Apr 2013 #140
dictionary BainsBane Apr 2013 #138
So that settles it then. zappaman Apr 2013 #145
I'll explain it to you BainsBane Apr 2013 #147
Not sure... zappaman Apr 2013 #158
Game time is over. BainsBane Apr 2013 #159
Damn. zappaman Apr 2013 #160
Like you had 5 hours ago? BainsBane Apr 2013 #163
yes zappaman Apr 2013 #164
Read my earlier replies to that question. BainsBane Apr 2013 #166
To this in particular BainsBane Apr 2013 #167
Obviously she wasn't. zappaman Apr 2013 #168
This is clearly pointless BainsBane Apr 2013 #170
Sure, your male friend's define themselves as a s**ts sbecause they are proud Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #161
What about the females I know that identify themselves as sluts? zappaman Apr 2013 #162
Read the article linked to in the OP. How is the term used? BainsBane Apr 2013 #165
when was the last time a man was shamed for having several partners? BainsBane Apr 2013 #136
+1 JustAnotherGen Apr 2013 #176
you think this is FUNNY? did it occur to you that some of us will refuse to use a word that is niyad Apr 2013 #6
Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #11
remdi95 niyad Apr 2013 #15
This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #118
So, the real outrage to you is uppity feminists geek tragedy Apr 2013 #16
If that's an ally BainsBane Apr 2013 #144
You are censoring others' writing BainsBane Apr 2013 #46
+1 LiberalLoner Apr 2013 #83
This message was self-deleted by its author niyad Apr 2013 #57
it is spelled out in the article, people often don't spell out things like the N word, F word JI7 Apr 2013 #9
Thank you for showing everyone what a pro-equality geek tragedy Apr 2013 #13
sadly, most of us are not the least bit surprised. niyad Apr 2013 #17
I wish feminists would stop picking on natural allies geek tragedy Apr 2013 #19
supremely grateful. saves getting a new scratching post niyad Apr 2013 #25
yeh, if only we were nicer to guys like that Whisp Apr 2013 #102
Submitted without comment geek tragedy Apr 2013 #121
If I had a dime for every time I'd heard that BainsBane Apr 2013 #153
come on, man Cali_Democrat Apr 2013 #14
so, what should my reaction be? quinnox Apr 2013 #22
Perhaps outrage about what happend to this poor girl? Cali_Democrat Apr 2013 #26
I didn't realize we all had to share your reactions... quinnox Apr 2013 #31
Thank you, you can leave now. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #34
you are very welcome quinnox Apr 2013 #36
Maybe focus more on the actual crime/tragedy? nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #28
understood quinnox Apr 2013 #35
I'm not in the business of telling people what to think. Because it pisses me off when others nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #44
don't hold your breath on that one niyad Apr 2013 #87
How about discussing the actual subject instead geek tragedy Apr 2013 #33
Just a tad bit of compassion for the victim of a gang rape would be a respectable reaction. Jamastiene Apr 2013 #41
You left out accusations of satanism quinnox Apr 2013 #49
I don't even consider Satanism all that big of a deal. Jamastiene Apr 2013 #63
+infinity geek tragedy Apr 2013 #64
zing BainsBane Apr 2013 #81
Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #82
Thank you! smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #90
You are most welcome. whathehell Apr 2013 #110
Out of this whole thread, that's the *one thing* you focus on? nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #24
Maybe when you reach puberty you might understand. (nt) jeff47 Apr 2013 #29
Now you have to edit other people's writing BainsBane Apr 2013 #37
he's looking to start a flamewar so his posse geek tragedy Apr 2013 #42
and apparently they did niyad Apr 2013 #117
considering who you are replying to, opiate69 Apr 2013 #142
... theKed Apr 2013 #149
Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #43
Your concern for a young sexually assault victim now deceased BainsBane Apr 2013 #51
He said above he thinks this discussion is funny. nt geek tragedy Apr 2013 #53
Yes, I know BainsBane Apr 2013 #59
Jury results (a microcosm of why DU sucks on gender issues) geek tragedy Apr 2013 #45
Fucking hell. This site, sometimes. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #58
Another post of his did get hidden, so we geek tragedy Apr 2013 #62
It's divisive in the same way Obama is divisive BainsBane Apr 2013 #68
It's divisive in the way that seeking marriage geek tragedy Apr 2013 #70
Exactly! BainsBane Apr 2013 #71
Geek, excuse me, but whathehell Apr 2013 #93
If an earlier post gets nuked it can look like the person's still posting. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #106
Okay, thanks. n/t whathehell Apr 2013 #109
"voted 2-4 to LEAVE IT ALONE." (nt) jeff47 Apr 2013 #113
Wrong post.. Try this one: whathehell Apr 2013 #116
are you juror #6? hfojvt Apr 2013 #131
I'm sure she is physically capbable of typing it out but she prefers not to. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #55
Kick. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #146
lol, do you find it just as funny when people choose whathehell Apr 2013 #67
your reaction to this thread is to LOL? Is there ice in your blood? bettyellen Apr 2013 #69
In India, gang rape results in mass protests in the street BainsBane Apr 2013 #74
this gang rape was a "first world problem" and we're just SJWs typing about it all...... bettyellen Apr 2013 #78
SJWs? BainsBane Apr 2013 #79
"Social justice warrior." (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #112
that's a term to be proud of BainsBane Apr 2013 #128
It's like PC, only mindless adolescents think its a bad thing. LOL bettyellen Apr 2013 #148
Unbelievable gaspee Apr 2013 #84
As someone who's gotten annoyed at the "word police" mindwalker_i Apr 2013 #155
child pornography is not a community issue niyad Apr 2013 #4
Because as people keep telling us, revealing pictures of girls and women are going to be shared redqueen Apr 2013 #7
as I said, beyond sickening niyad Apr 2013 #8
Cops not taking rape and domestic violence seriously? geek tragedy Apr 2013 #21
Reminds me of that Canadian girl who hanged herself LittleBlue Apr 2013 #10
Online isn't 'at school'... the problem is cultural. redqueen Apr 2013 #23
I still think the school shouldn't get off the hook LittleBlue Apr 2013 #38
It's a few years back, but I attended one of those schools Posteritatis Apr 2013 #50
That's crazy LittleBlue Apr 2013 #105
I agree with you that schools should do more. redqueen Apr 2013 #66
should be mandatory for schools to report to the local police. colleges sure don't. bettyellen Apr 2013 #75
The girl in Canada was beaten up and nothing was done LittleBlue Apr 2013 #80
Yes, Amanda Todd. redqueen Apr 2013 #92
And every. Single. Fucking. Time. People pile on to blame the victim. It's infuriating. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #27
They want to believe it can't happen to them. Or to the women in their lives, if they're male. nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #30
Yep. Or that they deserve anything they get if it happens. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #39
there is a big "she asked for it" in all of this JI7 Apr 2013 #47
I find it telling that a lot of local news sites disabled comments on articles about this. (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #52
that is interesting, i hope some outside reporters go in there and check it out JI7 Apr 2013 #65
Oh, local media will go on the warpath about this Posteritatis Apr 2013 #72
Thank you, Posteritatis. redqueen Apr 2013 #86
140-year-old still-independent papers Get Things Done. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #97
"...and anything touching on bullying or most forms of rape draw them like flies..." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #95
A mix of that and purely conventional victim-blaming, pretty much. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #99
My response: "Yeah, all that bullying turned you into a fine human being. I can really tell." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #111
I think of it almost like separating the "wheat" from the "chaff." The "worthy" from the "unworthy." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #60
it happened before also but the internet, texting etc does make it worse JI7 Apr 2013 #32
"it quickly went viral" Union Scribe Apr 2013 #18
And then think of all the kids prosecuted for consensual (albeit underage) "sexting." nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #54
Her high school - the second one she went to try to get away from this - is right next to my house. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #20
Posteritatis, since you're from the area, I as a lifelong American have some Q's. alp227 Apr 2013 #151
I'll take a crack at those Posteritatis Apr 2013 #204
This is repeated victimization Prism Apr 2013 #85
and absolutely nothing will happen--read what the nova scotia justice minister said (reply #1) niyad Apr 2013 #94
He's (1) toast and (2) trying to change his tune slightly Posteritatis Apr 2013 #103
Thank you for this post. nt redqueen Apr 2013 #100
So heartbreaking. n/t TDale313 Apr 2013 #91
All those euphemisms only mean one thing. 'Boys will be boys. Think of their careers!' freshwest Apr 2013 #96
"Just a girl" redqueen Apr 2013 #104
... TDale313 Apr 2013 #107
tears baby. i am just in tears. i wish... so wish, there were people to stand up for you, loudly. seabeyond Apr 2013 #123
A girl's life cut short BainsBane Apr 2013 #141
This is absolutely disgusting and incredibly heartbreaking. smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #98
Thank you for posting this. nt SunSeeker Apr 2013 #101
Thanks for the alert IrishAyes Apr 2013 #108
Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #120
Terrible story. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #122
k/r witj sadness. 840high Apr 2013 #125
I am so ashamed because riverbendviewgal Apr 2013 #126
So very sad... chervilant Apr 2013 #129
This is unbelievably sad... one_voice Apr 2013 #130
This is so heartbreaking. DURHAM D Apr 2013 #135
It's a terrible tragedy. Bonobo Apr 2013 #143
Canada's Steubenville. Were her rapists football/hockey stars or something? alp227 Apr 2013 #152
Schools are infamous for not doing anything concerning bullying davidn3600 Apr 2013 #169
I'd say it's a "public schools in general" problem Posteritatis Apr 2013 #208
The problem was she didn't report it to the authorities when it happened. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #220
I am convinced Rex Apr 2013 #154
Evil and cruelty BainsBane Apr 2013 #171
+1000 smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #221
This is horrible and sad. In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #157
Absolutely disgusting that this was handled so poorly. MineralMan Apr 2013 #172
Other girls Brooklyns_Finest Apr 2013 #174
Why do you think her rapists took a picture and shared it? Because they thought she'd be pleased? redqueen Apr 2013 #178
What the flaming holy fuck do you think rape is in the first place? (nt) Posteritatis Apr 2013 #200
The RAPE VICTIM was *NOT* a SLUT - so "slut shaming" is NOT the point. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #175
Bullies used "s*** shaming" to viciously attack her. It IS a HUGE point. redqueen Apr 2013 #177
The POINT is that she was RAPED. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #180
S*** SHAMING AND VICTIM BLAMING IS WHY SHE DIDN'T COME FORWARD SOONER redqueen Apr 2013 #182
Your reasoning make no sense. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #183
I'm sorry you don't see it. Very sorry. redqueen Apr 2013 #184
The humiliated (in my opinion) comes from everyone knowing IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #186
"We don't know how to deal with sex crimes in our culture." chervilant Apr 2013 #213
+10000 one_voice Apr 2013 #190
And FURTHERMORE redqueen Apr 2013 #181
Your inability to comprehend the English language is bordering on frothing hysteria. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #185
"NO ONE kills themselves because someone else said something "mean"" redqueen Apr 2013 #187
My "true colors" have been on display since 2004. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #188
Did I act like the world is going to end? I would like more solidarity among women. redqueen Apr 2013 #189
I came in disagreeing with you. I have re-read my post. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #191
And I apologize for going after you as I did. redqueen Apr 2013 #193
This stuff matters to us, so we both got passionate about it. IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #194
The article plainly says that people were calling her that gollygee Apr 2013 #201
i tried to find the article of a 12 yr old that committed suicide for being called a slut, and she seabeyond Apr 2013 #207
"Smart people"? chervilant Apr 2013 #214
Redqueen and I arrived at a point where we IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #215
You are not in that young girl's mind. chervilant Apr 2013 #216
Blah blah blah - talk about arrogant and condescending! IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #217
"...a little on the tart side..." chervilant Apr 2013 #218
Yeah! We have achieved mutual understanding! IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #219
I kinda wondered why the OP wanted people to know Rex Apr 2013 #209
Because those are the terms people are using to describe what happened to this girl. redqueen Apr 2013 #210
I am glad I don't have kids get the red out Apr 2013 #179
So with you. nt IdaBriggs Apr 2013 #192
The all pervasive objectification and sexualization of girls/women is primary to creating Zorra Apr 2013 #195
Thank you for this post, Zorra. So much. redqueen Apr 2013 #196
You're welcome, redqueen. Zorra Apr 2013 #197
Nova Scotia justice minister revisits review of Rehtaeh Parsons case Dr. Strange Apr 2013 #198
if they'd done so earlier BainsBane Apr 2013 #199
Thank you. n/t Judi Lynn Apr 2013 #202
Love the sweet sweet sound of that hundred-metre freestyle backpedal. Posteritatis Apr 2013 #205
I can't help wondering if the growing exposure, and redqueen Apr 2013 #211
The minister made a similar stupid mistake a few months ago Posteritatis Apr 2013 #212
Thank you, redqueen. Didn't hear about this until now. So damned wrong. n/t Judi Lynn Apr 2013 #203
Ugh! This makes me physically ill. I am sick to my stomach after reading this. smirkymonkey Apr 2013 #222
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Victim-blaming and woman-...»Reply #180