Flare high the famous flames of Friday! Come CAPTION Fox's Erick Erickson!!!

[Cirque du So-What]

2. DOUGHY GUYS!

From 1931 until 1959, doughiness was a symbol of success - proof positive that a man could order 16-ounce porterhouse steaks for lunch and three martinis. Tipsy and pink, doughy guys roamed the land freely. The major politicians of that era were all doughy guys. Their weight and moistness were felt everywhere they went. The most powerful man of that era was the ultimate doughy guy: J. Edgar Hoover...who was not afraid to be a doughy gal. During that era, doughy men covered the continents. Statistics prove there was more humidity at the time. Thousand Island dressing was sold by the barrel full, pork sausage by the metric ton! We owe our very existence to the fact that our mothers were actually willing to make love to doughy guys.

Thanks to MST3K. I can imagine this specimen delivering an homage to doughy guys, along with lamenting their diminishing numbers.