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Response to DonRedwood (Reply #197)

Sat Jul 27, 2013, 08:09 PM

221. That's exactly it, I think. Planting seeds. SO OFTEN I find that I long for a legitimately quick fix

or solution that comes straight away! I am impatient. To an ornery extreme, she said, sheepishly. But I concede that for the change to be systemic, it has to be gradual. It has to be allowed to take root, to seep down in. Which, annoyingly, takes time, dammit! And sometimes I think the way to go is to forge ahead, giving the opposition a good shake and maybe a good turn over your knee for a spanking since they're mostly acting like spoiled brats who are throwing public fits because they didn't get their way (in this case, the Presidency - twice. And Good Gravy but they got beaten both times by a black guy). I just can't help but see this as acting out, and a lot of me wants to throw bile back at them til they drown in it. BUT - that isn't always the most successful tactic...



What you did was truly to be classy. You were a class act with all of them. One of the legacies my dad left me was the saying "rise above it." Some of the hardest advice I've ever had to force myself to follow!!! This is what you did - and with class, and elegance. I've heard it over and over again, and read and pondered it here and elsewhere, that many people embrace the prejudices they have - against blacks, against gays, against Latinos, against working women, against Islamics, against the poor, you name it because they don't know anybody who's one of those. Or they don't think they do. They haven't lived with folks not exactly like themselves. That bill o'reilly quote is getting a lot of exposure at the moment. It's from the time Al Sharpton took him to a restaurant in Harlem - a landmark restaurant, and o'reilly went back on the radio afterwards to remark that people were sitting there and enjoying their meals and having fun and (gasp!) eating with knives and forks and not hollering across the room for "more iced tea, mofo". But the takeaway was that ol' bill had never taken the time to discover blacks as people rather than the negative stereotypes and caricatures that he and the rest of the far-wrong have invented to explain some annoying realities away.

YOU put a human face on your marriage. And you added in a couple of truckloads of dignity. You also rattled a few cages and shaken a few misconceptions. They learned that you don't bite, you're not contagious, you're not a Commie, you're not from Mars and you don't have six sets of eyes and four arms and leave ooze on the ground. You were understanding and patient! You have definitely given them a template for some rethink. They learned that you are kind, noble of demeanor, generous and humble, friendly and approachable, sweet and respectful and loving to your spouse, and that you have class. They'll use the new model you've presented to on which to try out some different thinking.

I bet you left people with a lot to think about. And hopefully more than a few people. There will be those who will soon notice only how devoted the two of you are to each other, and how genuine the bond between you is - just like any other married couple. People change. Some of 'em, anyway. Sometimes it's because their eyes are forced open. You did it much more gently and compassionately.



You did a GREAT job.

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DonRedwood Jul 2013 OP
rdking647 Jul 2013 #1
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DonRedwood Jul 2013 #196
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Sarah Ibarruri Jul 2013 #204
LineLineLineLineLineLineLineNew Reply That's exactly it, I think. Planting seeds. SO OFTEN I find that I long for a legitimately quick fix
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