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Thu Oct 17, 2013, 12:56 AM

CRUZ: “THE DREAM OF KEEPING POOR PEOPLE FROM SEEING A DOCTOR MUST NEVER DIE” [View all]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Acknowledging that the government shutdown was coming to an end, an emotional Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) took to the Senate floor today to make an impassioned speech, telling his colleagues, “The dream of keeping poor people from seeing a doctor must never die.”

His eyes welling up with tears, Sen. Cruz said, “I embarked on this crusade with a simple goal: to keep affordable health care out of the reach of ordinary, hard-working Americans. And while this battle was lost, that dream—that precious, cherished dream—will live on.”

Reflecting on the government shutdown and near-default that almost touched off a global financial apocalypse, Sen. Cruz said, “We’ll give it another try in a few weeks.”

Sen. Cruz’s closest ally, Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) also spoke reverently of the shutdown, calling it “the most expensive Civil War reënactment in history.”

“Unfortunately, once again, the wrong side won,” he said.

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http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/10/cruz-the-dream-of-keeping-poor-people-from-seeing-a-doctor-must-never-die.html?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(183)

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Reply CRUZ: “THE DREAM OF KEEPING POOR PEOPLE FROM SEEING A DOCTOR MUST NEVER DIE” [View all]
onestepforward Oct 2013 OP
flamingdem Oct 2013 #1
texanwitch Oct 2013 #2
Tx4obama Oct 2013 #4
texanwitch Oct 2013 #6
SummerSnow Oct 2013 #3
hrmjustin Oct 2013 #5
Cha Oct 2013 #7
niyad Oct 2013 #8
calimary Oct 2013 #9
DeSwiss Oct 2013 #10