General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]tblue37
(65,273 posts)For example, in the Indian ad it was obviously aggressive, obnoxious leering when more than one man was ogling a woman and one was nudging his buddies to join him in reducing her to nothing but a body part to be stared at.
When the man was ogling the woman's lower back tattoo, his looking did not impinge on her freedom to enjoy herself freely in public space, so I think his natural inclination to admire what he saw should not be perceived as a creepy act of domination and control. Furthermore, women also look at attractive men when they are not aware of being checked out. No harm, no foul. On the other hand, if he had been nudging his buddies to check her out, the way the guys staring at the woman's cleavage were doing, then his behavior would be an act of group solidarity intended to "other" the woman and to reinforce the group's belief in their right to dominate her and reduce her to object status.
The one where the guy was munching on something while smiling at the woman on public transportation is fuzzy, I think. He wasn't being aggressive about it. He just seemed to be tentatively trying to flirt. In a situation like that it only becomes creepy if he persists after the woman responds coldly, indicating by facial expression (or a stiff lack of expression) or by body language that she does not welcome any advance. Then if he keeps staring or keeps trying to flirt, that would be creepy. But the initial eye contact and tentative smile is not in itself creepy.