Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: To all those alone tonight on Christmas Eve..... [View all]magical thyme
(14,881 posts)185. I need to practice saying "no" in a way that people hear "NO!!!!!"
yet without raising my voice. It seems to go in cycles. I'll be ignored for several years, and then some creepy guy, somewhere, will decide I'm perfect for him. They never wander away. Mercifully, the janitor moved away after he was fired. One of his sons got him a job 600+ miles away and said he could come live with him in CT. His family up here won't have anything to do with him.
I give people a graceful out, but they don't take it. They just steamroller right through me. I remember in my 30s a contractor asking me out and I told him I don't get involved with people at work. He didn't wander away. He spent 2-3 months following me around whining, "Why won't you go out with me?" It was creepy and it didn't stop until his contract didn't get renewed.
I keep practicing different ways of saying no. Such as:
"It's a one syllable, 2-letter word. Exactly which part of 'NO' do you not understand?"
or
"This is the 2nd time I'm saying 'No.' It's the last time I'm saying nicely. You ask me a 3rd time, and I'm heading straight to HR with a harassment complaint."
or just "Which the fuck part of 'fuck off' do you not understand?"
or something on those lines. I just need to keep practicing and keeping my anger just below the surface. Because as soon as I slack off, it starts all over.
I give people a graceful out, but they don't take it. They just steamroller right through me. I remember in my 30s a contractor asking me out and I told him I don't get involved with people at work. He didn't wander away. He spent 2-3 months following me around whining, "Why won't you go out with me?" It was creepy and it didn't stop until his contract didn't get renewed.
I keep practicing different ways of saying no. Such as:
"It's a one syllable, 2-letter word. Exactly which part of 'NO' do you not understand?"
or
"This is the 2nd time I'm saying 'No.' It's the last time I'm saying nicely. You ask me a 3rd time, and I'm heading straight to HR with a harassment complaint."
or just "Which the fuck part of 'fuck off' do you not understand?"
or something on those lines. I just need to keep practicing and keeping my anger just below the surface. Because as soon as I slack off, it starts all over.
Edit history
Please sign in to view edit histories.
198 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
RecommendedHighlight replies with 5 or more recommendations
Thank you. I am alone because my grandson went to his wife's family and they will be home to spend
jwirr
Dec 2013
#6
No, I have never gotten the fishing bug. I have been out a couple of times
madinmaryland
Dec 2013
#162
Thank you....and today has actually been an exceptional day for me here at DU...
VanillaRhapsody
Dec 2013
#145
I know I will be sad and was pretty devastated just a few weeks ago when I found out,
tavalon
Dec 2013
#150
I'll be thinking of the delight you'll have with your son in the morning...
countryjake
Dec 2013
#155
Oh man! I hadn't heard. I'm so sorry Majorabbit. I can understand it would be hard to be around
loudsue
Dec 2013
#81
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, I remember the first few months being really rough.
SharonAnn
Dec 2013
#109
i've been thinking of you on and off tonight (for the past couple of days actually)
orleans
Dec 2013
#139
yes, for many years of an abusive marriage, I was lonely even though not alone.
grasswire
Dec 2013
#17
Let's not get maudlin. It's just for the holiday season. We'll see after that.
rhett o rick
Dec 2013
#165
Thanks. Feeling a little better, I am in between chills and burning up for the moment!
Dustlawyer
Dec 2013
#178
thank you loudsue!! let's look forward to *making* this coming new year a good one
BlancheSplanchnik
Dec 2013
#106
thanks Mwa!! you too--may the good causes you made last year come back
BlancheSplanchnik
Dec 2013
#112
rec #100, from a single DUer to all those who are single, or are alone tonight
Divine Discontent
Dec 2013
#115
Thank you! My aunt passed Saturday, and this was my first Christmas where I was truly alone.
ColesCountyDem
Dec 2013
#189