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Amaril

(1,267 posts)
186. I was that way after my divorce
Thu Dec 26, 2013, 03:18 PM
Dec 2013

I wanted no part of emotional entanglements -- my ex - on the other hand - re-married the same day our divorce was final.

That was 12 years ago, and I've enjoyed this period of my life probably the most (the period when my children were small and every day was an adventure full of wonder and magic runs a very close second if not tied for first) -- embraced it with a relish that mystified my friends. It's a difficult mindset to explain to others, and while they meant it with love, their seemingly constant expressions of concern over (what was their perception of) my "loneliness" was really quite maddening at times. Even my ex has made comments -- "I worry about you - you don't have the same support system I have" - yes, that's true, but what you don't understand is that I don't "need" the same constant, unflinching support as you.

Enjoy your "oneness", Tavalon!

Men and woman alike! Here, Here! boston bean Dec 2013 #1
Hear, hear! Hissyspit Dec 2013 #57
Thanks hissy. boston bean Dec 2013 #59
And see the link below Tx4obama Dec 2013 #2
Good old Redstone. trumad Dec 2013 #3
I'll be driving. A HERETIC I AM Dec 2013 #4
You to..... trumad Dec 2013 #5
Merry Christmas Heretic! Liberal Jesus Freak Dec 2013 #47
Thanks hon! A HERETIC I AM Dec 2013 #64
Thank you. I am alone because my grandson went to his wife's family and they will be home to spend jwirr Dec 2013 #6
Keep in touch with us today, jwirr! And all the best to you, too. n/t freshwest Dec 2013 #23
Thanks taterguy Dec 2013 #7
Merry Christmas, taterguy. madinmaryland Dec 2013 #28
No taterguy Dec 2013 #71
I'm a bass fisherman. Enthusiast Dec 2013 #121
No, I have never gotten the fishing bug. I have been out a couple of times madinmaryland Dec 2013 #162
fish 1 fisherman 0 anasv Dec 2013 #175
Working tonight.... VanillaRhapsody Dec 2013 #8
Tonight is my only night off in forever on both ends tavalon Dec 2013 #144
Thank you....and today has actually been an exceptional day for me here at DU... VanillaRhapsody Dec 2013 #145
You are welcome tavalon Dec 2013 #146
Sorry that your boy ruined his surprises... countryjake Dec 2013 #148
I know I will be sad and was pretty devastated just a few weeks ago when I found out, tavalon Dec 2013 #150
I'll be thinking of the delight you'll have with your son in the morning... countryjake Dec 2013 #155
Oh, that is so sad tavalon Dec 2013 #157
Thank you. I did get to rush back here... countryjake Dec 2013 #158
You have my sympathy too tavalon Dec 2013 #181
Thank you. My hubby passed last tues and it is Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #9
With love!!! Laf.La.Dem. Dec 2013 #10
I am so sorry Mojo. stillwaiting Dec 2013 #11
Hugs Earth_First Dec 2013 #12
My condolences, Mojorabbit. Lars39 Dec 2013 #14
i'm sorry JI7 Dec 2013 #15
oh mojo, so sorry to hear that grasswire Dec 2013 #16
I'm so sorry, I lost mine three years ago. Christmas is still hard even Raine Dec 2013 #18
. Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #169
My best to you. Lost my hubby this year also. madfloridian Dec 2013 #19
Hugs! mimi85 Dec 2013 #41
..... madfloridian Dec 2013 #51
Oh, mad, my deepest sympathies. CrispyQ Dec 2013 #62
It made me smile also. madfloridian Dec 2013 #73
My condolences, madfloridian. Wishing you well. SaveOurDemocracy Dec 2013 #70
Thank you. My heart goes out to Mojo...it's still so fresh. madfloridian Dec 2013 #128
So many people seem to have lost their spouses to death this year. tavalon Dec 2013 #149
<3 nt Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #168
Thank you mad. We were together for 31 years. Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #167
You will be that way for a while. madfloridian Dec 2013 #174
I'm so sorry for your loss, madfloridian kdmorris Dec 2013 #88
..... madfloridian Dec 2013 #125
Sorry to hear about your loss. grantcart Dec 2013 #100
There are stages... madfloridian Dec 2013 #111
Peace to you, madfloridian... countryjake Dec 2013 #120
That flag was so like him. madfloridian Dec 2013 #124
I had a similar flag find earlier this year... countryjake Dec 2013 #133
Dealing with things after loss of parents... madfloridian Dec 2013 #161
My best to you. nm rhett o rick Dec 2013 #21
someone is always here for you Mojorabbit Skittles Dec 2013 #24
Oh, I'm so sorry. a la izquierda Dec 2013 #25
I'm so sorry for your loss, mojo... magical thyme Dec 2013 #26
My condolences to you and your family. madinmaryland Dec 2013 #29
I am so sorry for your loss, Mojo kdmorris Dec 2013 #31
I am so sorry. passiveporcupine Dec 2013 #32
The Passing of your Husband Alicia Carol Dec 2013 #35
Welcome to DU wryter2000 Dec 2013 #116
i'm very sorry for your loss orleans Dec 2013 #137
Welcome and kind thoughts your way. madfloridian Dec 2013 #160
Thank you so much Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #170
Welcome to DU, Alicia Carol! calimary Dec 2013 #194
I am sorry for your loss babydollhead Dec 2013 #36
(((((((Mojorabbit))))))) WillyT Dec 2013 #39
Wow, mojo! Le Taz Hot Dec 2013 #40
ohh, virtual hug to you. I hope you have a quiet eve, so sorry. uppityperson Dec 2013 #43
Sorry for your loss n/t doc03 Dec 2013 #44
Strength to you. CrispyQ Dec 2013 #56
Oh, no, mojorabbit. Hissyspit Dec 2013 #60
Oh, mojo! Brigid Dec 2013 #61
I am so sorry. Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #66
So sorry for your loss. SaveOurDemocracy Dec 2013 #72
Much love from Hollywood:) grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #77
Oh BB! liberalmuse Dec 2013 #78
Oh man! I hadn't heard. I'm so sorry Majorabbit. I can understand it would be hard to be around loudsue Dec 2013 #81
Deepest condolences on your loss. virgdem Dec 2013 #82
May you find peace and have good memories. nolabear Dec 2013 #84
Sorry to hear, I am sure that you were a great comfort for him. grantcart Dec 2013 #101
Oh, my. ChazInAz Dec 2013 #103
My condolences; I am sorry for your loss. badtoworse Dec 2013 #107
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, I remember the first few months being really rough. SharonAnn Dec 2013 #109
I'm so sorry wryter2000 Dec 2013 #114
My deepest sympathies to you, Mojo... countryjake Dec 2013 #119
Sorry to hear that. Enthusiast Dec 2013 #122
I'm very sorry for your loss. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #126
My sincerest condolences Mojorabbit nt steve2470 Dec 2013 #130
i am so sorry fizzgig Dec 2013 #138
i've been thinking of you on and off tonight (for the past couple of days actually) orleans Dec 2013 #139
Thank you. Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #171
I'm so very very sorry. abq e streeter Dec 2013 #142
I'm glad you are doing what is right for you tavalon Dec 2013 #147
I am so sorry Mojo! redwitch Dec 2013 #173
Just saw this. tblue Dec 2013 #191
Hugs to you. 840high Dec 2013 #198
Savor your solitude, a precious thing. roody Dec 2013 #13
yes, for many years of an abusive marriage, I was lonely even though not alone. grasswire Dec 2013 #17
Amen on that one! tavalon Dec 2013 #151
I was that way after my divorce Amaril Dec 2013 #186
Back atchya! tavalon Dec 2013 #187
Thank you and happy holidays to you! Overseas Dec 2013 #20
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone, even Sid. nm rhett o rick Dec 2013 #22
Now I know there's a "niceness" virus spreading... countryjake Dec 2013 #159
Let's not get maudlin. It's just for the holiday season. We'll see after that. rhett o rick Dec 2013 #165
I'm always alone on holidays, but rarely lonely magical thyme Dec 2013 #27
The internet has turned out to be a solace passiveporcupine Dec 2013 #33
I'm hardly new at flying solo Boomerproud Dec 2013 #34
Naps! I love naps. tavalon Dec 2013 #152
Gave up on "relationships" 24 years ago and never looked back magical thyme Dec 2013 #163
Yeah, I'm already getting the pushback, but luckily I have a spine of steel tavalon Dec 2013 #180
as far as I can determine, the pushback never ends... magical thyme Dec 2013 #182
Wow, I'm so sorry tavalon Dec 2013 #183
I need to practice saying "no" in a way that people hear "NO!!!!!" magical thyme Dec 2013 #185
Alone, and thankful! New Orleans Strong Dec 2013 #30
well with that kind of directive, you need to provide a great recipe magical thyme Dec 2013 #42
Nawlin's south tavalon Dec 2013 #153
And ghosts are good... New Orleans Strong Dec 2013 #37
Thank you!! Solitude and a certain amount of independence are nice... rury Dec 2013 #38
Sending a hug, rury, and I hope that you find a suitable partner in 2014. loudsue Dec 2013 #85
Thanks so much, loudsue! rury Dec 2013 #134
Couldn't agree more... DiehardLiberal Dec 2013 #172
Home alone with the flu, merry Christmas everyone! Dustlawyer Dec 2013 #45
Oh no! My husband came down with the flu yesterday, and had to work loudsue Dec 2013 #87
Thanks. I don't know how he went to work, I feel like a train ran over me! Dustlawyer Dec 2013 #177
The flu always sucks tavalon Dec 2013 #154
Thanks. Feeling a little better, I am in between chills and burning up for the moment! Dustlawyer Dec 2013 #178
Thanks but I like alone. It's nice and quiet no obnoxious doc03 Dec 2013 #46
Merry Christmas to ALL! ybbor Dec 2013 #48
Right back at ya ybbor. loudsue Dec 2013 #89
Thanks Trumad! longship Dec 2013 #49
Merry Christmas, longship! And happy New Year! loudsue Dec 2013 #90
Thanks. charlyvi Dec 2013 #50
But are you curled up in your pajamas? loudsue Dec 2013 #91
DU at it's very best. 99Forever Dec 2013 #52
Been alone a long time 3Stones Dec 2013 #53
Welcome to DU wryter2000 Dec 2013 #118
Welcome to DU, 3Stones! calimary Dec 2013 #192
That's why I signed up tonight TlcJobCoach Dec 2013 #54
Welcome to DU. DamnYankeeInHouston Dec 2013 #68
Condolences on your loss. Welcome to DU SaveOurDemocracy Dec 2013 #69
I'm sorry for your loss, TicJobCoach. loudsue Dec 2013 #92
You came to the right place wryter2000 Dec 2013 #117
Welcome to DU TlcJobCoach!!! blue14u Dec 2013 #127
Welcome to DU, TlcJobCoach! calimary Dec 2013 #193
Me, 1 dog, 2 cats, husband at work. Same tomorrow. CrispyQ Dec 2013 #55
thanks trumad irisblue Dec 2013 #58
I'm sending you and yours many good wishes loudsue Dec 2013 #93
This is a lovely OP. Puglover Dec 2013 #63
Thanks, T! H2O Man Dec 2013 #65
A very Merry Christmas to you, H2O Man! loudsue Dec 2013 #94
Merry Christmas! Budgies Revenge Dec 2013 #67
Merry Christmas, Budgies Revenge! loudsue Dec 2013 #95
Merry Christmas, tru! madinmaryland Dec 2013 #74
that's a noble thought Chaco Dundee Dec 2013 #75
If you are here - you are not alone. Marie Marie Dec 2013 #76
I am alone but with yuiyoshida Dec 2013 #79
Well then, Merry Christmas, yuiyoshida! loudsue Dec 2013 #96
thanks.... yuiyoshida Dec 2013 #110
I wish you all warmth of spirit, belonging, and fraternity aikoaiko Dec 2013 #80
And peace to you, aikoaiko. loudsue Dec 2013 #97
it's just a peaceful night for me. got my little Shrimpy BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #83
And all the best of the Solstice to you,Blanche. loudsue Dec 2013 #98
thank you loudsue!! let's look forward to *making* this coming new year a good one BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #106
I think I'm getting really cozy, and my eyelids are getting heavy! loudsue Dec 2013 #108
thanks Mwa!! you too--may the good causes you made last year come back BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #112
Yes, Peace on Earth, Good Will to all People. nolabear Dec 2013 #86
Trumad, you're the best. I'm really glad you started this thread. loudsue Dec 2013 #99
I was begining to wonder if DU had gone down some wormhole of infinite grantcart Dec 2013 #102
Warm hugs to all! colorado_ufo Dec 2013 #104
Why don't all DU'er just meet somewhere so we can give each other Left Coast2020 Dec 2013 #105
Thank you, Trumad. Foolacious Dec 2013 #113
rec #100, from a single DUer to all those who are single, or are alone tonight Divine Discontent Dec 2013 #115
Have a good one, trumad! countryjake Dec 2013 #123
How thoughtful trumad... blue14u Dec 2013 #129
Thanks for this, Trumad, and I wish other DU'ers the same steve2470 Dec 2013 #131
Happy Christmas to all, dchill Dec 2013 #132
This is why I love DU onestepforward Dec 2013 #135
, blkmusclmachine Dec 2013 #136
Merry Chistmas, trumad, and to you all. n/t ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2013 #140
Thanks.Merry Christmas to you trumad. abq e streeter Dec 2013 #141
That is such a kind thing to say tavalon Dec 2013 #143
This nightshifter is going to do a few more things for the morning tavalon Dec 2013 #156
Merry Christmas silverchair Dec 2013 #164
Well said Trumad! DrewFlorida Dec 2013 #166
All be happy intaglio Dec 2013 #176
Not that I feel any great love for Mother Teresa, but... Utopian Leftist Dec 2013 #179
I watched a DVD of Joss Whedon's version of Shakespeare's tblue37 Dec 2013 #184
Thank you, trumad MissDeeds Dec 2013 #188
Thank you! My aunt passed Saturday, and this was my first Christmas where I was truly alone. ColesCountyDem Dec 2013 #189
Much love to you, too, ColesCountyDem. calimary Dec 2013 #195
Thank you! ColesCountyDem Dec 2013 #197
I thought i was going to be alone on Christmas eve Spirochete Dec 2013 #190
We need you for New Years Eve, too, trumad. NYC_SKP Dec 2013 #196
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