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Sun Mar 9, 2014, 11:59 PM

 

My dumbest question ever... how do people shtup these days? [View all]

No, of course I know a variety of parts and places they can go, I mean the process leading up to the deed.

A friend of ours is getting divorced, a former fraternity brother. Nasty divorce after decades, I guess it happens but a head scratcher. He'll do fine, as will his ex, both lovely high-functioning people.

He's starting to date again which has me thinking back to our fraternity days (Carl Sagan's next-door neighbors, coincidentally). Back then, the process normally consisted of dancing, alcohol (and sometimes other state-enhancers), kissing, yadda yadda yadda... Then

No real discussions beforehand, and yes, no meant no.

(NB: As far as I know we were all nice guys, we had a great reputation with normal women although the high-end sororities were not fans. Our campus had 50 fraternities, half of men lived in frats, so it wasn't one of these situations where all the frat guys are jerks. Also, this was right before AIDS became a big issue so STDs were in a whole different place.)

In any case, my buddy's new situation has me thinking... how do people move from "nice to meet you!" to "um, I'm having trouble with this clip thing"?

I eventually married my college sweetie, so I never really lived the evolution of courtship and mating in modern times. I'd imagine that it's roughly the same as a few decades ago, but it seems like it would be more deliberative. Are there discussions that should/must be had? Papers to sign (I doubt it, but...?). Other? Or does nature still tend to do its thing rather effortlessly?

If this question is offensive I'll be happy to take it down, if it's inappropriate the hosts will save me that trouble.

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