General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Rape Culture: One way to say yes, many ways to say no. [View all]MineralMan
(146,288 posts)Ask. Ask before acting.
"I'd really like to ______ right now? Would that be OK?"
It's easy. If you're not sure how the person you're with will answer, just ask. That person will let you know whether it's OK or not.
Sometimes, you know without asking. Maybe you and that person often engage in that activity and you know that it's OK. But, especially in new relationships or if you have just met, you don't know. Instead of just trying something, you can ask. The person you're with will think you're a good person for asking and appreciate your concern for his or her feelings. You might hear a "yes" or a "no" or an "I'm not really ready to go there," but you'll know the answer, and will know you're not about to do something that is unwelcome or premature.
Communication is important when working out a sexual relationship. It's not just about what you want, but about mutual consent. Always. And you don't always know the answer you'll get. So, instead of just barging ahead, put it into words. That's respect for the other person.