General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Rape Culture: One way to say yes, many ways to say no. [View all]MineralMan
(146,286 posts)A star athlete generally has no difficulty whatever in finding willing and enthusiastic sex partners. The athlete in your example should just move on. Bargaining for sex has a name.
The desire to have sex on one person's part has nothing to do with the other person's feelings in the matter, or shouldn't, I think. See, the thing about enthusiastic consent is that it is enthusiastic. It doesn't require wheedling or bargaining. If it does, any consent given isn't enthusiastic. The bargain the athlete is offering is just a ruse to get someone to have sex with him. That someone might give in based on that bargain doesn't mean the consent is enthusiastic. It's a pathetic, sad way to get someone to consent.
The problem here is that any way the person puts it, he's saying, "Either have sex with me now or we're finished." That's coercive, no matter what language is used to say it. It devalues the other person, and that's never appropriate.