Dear DU [View all]

[AtomicKitten]

Dear DU: After six months, I have been released to the next level of care. Denial has been my go-to emotion for too long and it's been tough for me to see and acknowledge what would be glaringly apparent to a blind person. I watched my descent into depression over a period of about two years, cognizant of the warning signs but reduced to a spectator, culminating in my complete withdrawal. I stopped returning phone calls and answering emails. Ultimately I stopped eating. I took in all the pain and cruelty and ugliness of this world, and I just wanted it to stop. I don't think I thought it out any further than that.

Truthfully, this is a bit humiliating for me and I had my son delete his OP to that end. I just want you to know how grateful I am for the generosity and goodwill of this community. In a weird twist, out of the blue I was contacted and offered a good job by the partner of someone I met almost two years ago at a social event. Just know you saved my bacon, DU. No doubt about it, and I am grateful.

I am learning to compartmentalize heart-wrenching triggers for me --- war, bigotry, factory farming, and the rampant gun culture in the US. When I start feeling the pain pitch a tent in my head again, I have learned to move to something else like walking Seven (now huge lipomatous mass-free thanks to DU), recreational reading, etc., and I can feel the release physically and emotionally. I feel I'm getting a better handle on my life.

The generosity of this community, the kindness and concern for others, was like a light that shone all the way to the depths of my deep funk and lit the path to my recovery. I'm still a bit fragile (so I'm told) and have to take care in what I take in (also what I'm told), but I am on the mend and look forward to participating again at some point when I'm given the green light.

So, for now, #BringBackOurGirls 4real and hooray for Idaho and all the other red states that are paving the way to marriage equality. Clearly I can't live with the ugliness of this world so I've committed to changing it in whatever way I can through truth and love and all that good stuff.

Cheers, DU. See you soon.