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In the discussion thread: NOT ALL MEN, BUT STILL TOO MANY MEN [View all]

Response to MrModerate (Reply #16)

Sun May 25, 2014, 08:55 PM

41. I'm not afraid of men - in public places or privately.

With some exceptions, of course.

Like many women (perhaps 20%??), I have been raped. In addition I have been grabbed, held at gunpoint, chased, and once held with a knife at my throat, for the apparent purpose of rape - a number of times. .

I refuse to think of myself as a victim of anything. I am a survivor. I escaped danger many times, and when I didn't escape, I coped with it and then put it in the past.

I don't hold any of this against men in general. I hold it against those specific men who were willing to do such a thing to a young girl. There are many of them out there. But it is not an inherent flaw in men, as so many here on DU seem to believe.

The men I associate with - including my husband - are not potential rapists, nor do they act as though they are entitled because they are men. They are respectful of women, as they are of people in general.

My expectation is that men will treat me as an equal. We usually get from others what we show that we expect. If I expected to be treated poorly, that would be the treatment I would likely receive, AND that would be the treatment I would be more likely to take note of.

Clearly there are some areas of the country and some subcultures where male supremacy is a prevalent theme, and maybe those on DU who rage against all men, are living in those conditions.

In addition, there is a workplace culture that discriminates against women, and my daughter tells me that in the more competitive academic pursuits, there is a disdain for women scholars. Women must work much harder to be taken seriously.

So there is a good reason to be a feminist, to promote further steps toward equality for women. But men need to be a part of this movement as well. And that is not going to happen if they are put in a position of defending themselves, rather than enlisted in the cause of full equality.

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