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paulkienitz

(1,295 posts)
38. yes, failing to attract people is a vicious cycle
Tue May 27, 2014, 04:42 PM
May 2014

the less you manage to attract anyone, the more unattractive you become. Once someone's trapped in that, it can be mighty tough to break out. A lot of men -- more than most people ever would guess -- end up hitting forty or fifty with no romantic success. Fortunately, at that point, the playing field becomes a lot more even than it was in the prime of youth, as everybody starts learning that they can't be all that picky anymore.

Plentyoffish (pof.com) works for a LOT of people. factsarenotfair May 2014 #1
That's were I found my fiance /nt Drale May 2014 #126
Nice! Congratulations! factsarenotfair May 2014 #135
Right you are shenmue May 2014 #2
I don't get how they think we are going to give them sex upaloopa May 2014 #3
The one that's always mystified me... winter is coming May 2014 #97
"they can't see that there is more to the definition of beauty than a pretty face and a nice body" redqueen May 2014 #4
I remember vividly the first time my daughter told me she needed a new dress NickB79 May 2014 #12
Good luck. You'll need it. redqueen May 2014 #14
Thank you! nt NickB79 May 2014 #20
I think it happens long before puberty now. YarnAddict May 2014 #27
Sadly, you are right redqueen May 2014 #58
I only had sons YarnAddict May 2014 #59
Sexual harassment starts in grade school as well. redqueen May 2014 #63
As much as I would have loved going prom dress shopping YarnAddict May 2014 #65
Probably didn't help that his Father had a hobby of taking nudie pics n2doc May 2014 #13
Indeed it wouldn't. redqueen May 2014 #16
Absolutely right. Which is why we have four year olds worried about "getting fat" as if the Number23 May 2014 #98
It truly is. I also find it sickening that the very concept is mocked and ridiculed redqueen May 2014 #106
You're not wrong. dawg May 2014 #5
I'm also not convinced he meets the legal definition of insanity. MohRokTah May 2014 #6
Yes, but committing mass murder is not exactly an indicator of stability... immoderate May 2014 #30
You can't know that. One report says he was hearing voices. Depending on what he was hearing, pnwmom May 2014 #43
That was based on anonymous source to radar online. LisaL May 2014 #56
That's your opinion. But what is fact is that he was being prescribed an anti-psychotic, pnwmom May 2014 #62
That medication has multiple uses, which you know full well. LisaL May 2014 #75
As you know, he was never actually diagnosed pnwmom May 2014 #89
Actually, that same radar online has some of the divorce documents. LisaL May 2014 #90
Men and women regret different things. Laelth May 2014 #7
"The researchers posit that these differences are evolutionary". Posit=assume as a fact uppityperson May 2014 #25
Part of the problem is that YarnAddict May 2014 #8
Yes that is exactly it. He never wrote about approaching a woman and actually being turned down and seaglass May 2014 #29
My son and I both read the manifesto YarnAddict May 2014 #33
The manifesto reminded me of woolldog May 2014 #102
I think that the verb "get" was part of the shooter's problem. Orsino May 2014 #9
I've not watched the video, but getting a girlfriend isn't as easy for some people... Silent3 May 2014 #10
Not necessarily. He may well have, probably did, turn anyone off immediately. Schema Thing May 2014 #11
Exactly what I was going to say. It would be quite easy to repel everyone you meet stevenleser May 2014 #18
He assumed every woman he saw was fucking the man next to her- and that POV shows bettyellen May 2014 #23
"This Roger guy emits warning signals like a rotating radar antenna": MineralMan Hekate May 2014 #46
Mental illness, a gun and easy targets. Rex May 2014 #15
do NOT frickin' apologize for venting. hopemountain May 2014 #17
Based on his so-called manifesto deutsey May 2014 #19
He didn't want a girlfriend. Brickbat May 2014 #21
I read a lot of his manifesto LordGlenconner May 2014 #22
Got some bad news for ya, buddy Proud Public Servant May 2014 #24
"The problem is men, period" AgingAmerican May 2014 #28
Oh so very, incredibly well said. redqueen May 2014 #31
True. But a strong daughter will be better able to handle the shit that gets thrown at her. pnwmom May 2014 #45
Great post. Squinch May 2014 #48
well, I can see where your daughter gets her brilliance from! renate May 2014 #125
Thank you (and squinch and redqueen above you) for your kind words (NT) Proud Public Servant May 2014 #131
"To imagine that you can fix the problem by raising the "right" kind of daughter . . ." Lex May 2014 #133
I love you. libnnc May 2014 #138
I don't think so. herding cats May 2014 #26
A woman couldn't expect men to simply come up to her because she's there treestar May 2014 #66
He wasn't exactly what I would call an approachable person in the first place herding cats May 2014 #80
I'm not so sure. I understand and agree with your point, but The Velveteen Ocelot May 2014 #32
yes, failing to attract people is a vicious cycle paulkienitz May 2014 #38
But those guys don't go out and shoot people. The Velveteen Ocelot May 2014 #42
A lot of women also never find success in love Tsiyu May 2014 #72
I think you'll find that group is like 80% men paulkienitz May 2014 #108
I think your figure is 80% in mens' heads and not reality Tsiyu May 2014 #136
I've also been taking my first look at PUA/MRA/MGTOW "red pill" ideas paulkienitz May 2014 #34
You might find this of "interest". stone space May 2014 #49
can vent but thats a bunch of BS PatrynXX May 2014 #35
Vent? Half-Century Man May 2014 #36
he could not 'get' a girlfriend because he could not be a boyfriend nt geek tragedy May 2014 #37
What I found disgusting... Helen Borg May 2014 #39
He wanted the beautiful blonde girlfriend as validation The Velveteen Ocelot May 2014 #41
We'll have to wait for an Apple Computer Robot Sex Partner for that. hunter May 2014 #67
Don't be sorry smallcat88 May 2014 #40
Good post. I think you captured what a lot of us are thinking. (nt) Paladin May 2014 #44
You are a gem nt Hekate May 2014 #47
Absolutely true. Feminists argue that he hated women. JDPriestly May 2014 #50
No, he thought there were many gorgeous girls at school, and was unable to meet anyone on his own. bettyellen May 2014 #81
Meanwhile in Nigeria... Common Sense Party May 2014 #51
So true. I've hardly heard anything about the girls since this happened. Louisiana1976 May 2014 #70
If you were actually interested, you'd know they are still in the news. redqueen May 2014 #76
Sigh. I am actually interested, which is why I brought it up. If you would check, you Common Sense Party May 2014 #84
It is a red herring. The nature of the media hasn't suddenly changed. redqueen May 2014 #88
don't derail, it is insulting. start a thread about it yourself! bettyellen May 2014 #85
Insulting to whom? Common Sense Party May 2014 #86
You are engaging in "whataboutery" Maedhros May 2014 #132
Concern troll is concerned. NuclearDem May 2014 #109
And you have a wonderful day as well. Common Sense Party May 2014 #134
I don't know Aladeen2016 May 2014 #52
/\/\/\/\ yes/\/\/\/\ dembotoz May 2014 #69
Precisely.. we have all been rebuffed by the cheerleader/beauty queen types. DCBob May 2014 #53
He wasn't rebuffed per se. LisaL May 2014 #55
For sure this guy was a psycho and a special case.. DCBob May 2014 #61
But he didn't even try to approach these women. LisaL May 2014 #64
I think he might have but in a weird sort of a way.. DCBob May 2014 #71
If you believe his manifesto, he wasn't doing any of that. LisaL May 2014 #74
I didnt read it but I saw some exerpts. DCBob May 2014 #78
I very much doubt it. LisaL May 2014 #54
^^ This. He gives off a lot of "creepy, probably dangerous" vibes. winter is coming May 2014 #96
I read his manifesto Nevernose May 2014 #57
Hmm davidthegnome May 2014 #60
This is sincerely depressing. redqueen May 2014 #68
But evidently it seems to be the narrative now. Rex May 2014 #73
Thanks. redqueen May 2014 #77
someone here confessed they hated feminists because one single woman many years prior had bettyellen May 2014 #79
I feel so tired after fighting this shit, going on 40 years now. MoonRiver May 2014 #82
Not my point. I'm surprised that that's what you took from my post. davidthegnome May 2014 #92
I never resented the boys or men who didn't like me back. redqueen May 2014 #94
And what if a girl makes fun of a guy? The2ndWheel May 2014 #121
This repeated moving of goalposts is annoying. redqueen May 2014 #123
Like I said, especially when you're young The2ndWheel May 2014 #128
I think he's touching a bit on social expectations and how men are judged davidn3600 May 2014 #87
I get what you're saying redqueen May 2014 #93
I think it goes a little beyond that. davidthegnome May 2014 #95
what you have to realize about that kind of resentment, is that you are denying others their bettyellen May 2014 #100
I had much the same experience. redqueen May 2014 #103
Talk about presumptuous. davidthegnome May 2014 #110
This message was self-deleted by its author redqueen May 2014 #111
You call a giggle and "aw that's sweet" cruel? redqueen May 2014 #112
He said gagging, not giggle The2ndWheel May 2014 #120
Mea culpa for misreading that, then. That is indeed cruel. redqueen May 2014 #124
Nobody would've batted an eye? The2ndWheel May 2014 #129
It seems to me the context is getting lost. redqueen May 2014 #130
A man may be judged by those things Dorian Gray May 2014 #117
I've been girlfriend-less since the Bush administration KamaAina May 2014 #83
Have you tried dating-sites? dawg May 2014 #107
Ewwwwwww. KamaAina May 2014 #113
Married and gay. dawg May 2014 #114
Actually, she identifies as bi KamaAina May 2014 #115
He didn't want a girlfriend per se. He wanted a trophy. n/t lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #91
He was as shallow as he was disturbed. His obsession with all things "blonde" was absolutely pitiful Number23 May 2014 #99
Anyone of any age (18+) of any gender can get a girlfriend. Elliot Rodgers problems is he didn't MillennialDem May 2014 #101
The problem is, he never tried to get one because he felt chrisa May 2014 #104
He didn't want a girlfriend. Iggo May 2014 #105
I think that Dorian Gray May 2014 #116
I find it hard to believe the child of a Hollywood director couldn't get a girlfriend hughee99 May 2014 #118
I realize people with normal social skills can't understand how someone can't get a girlfriend. LisaL May 2014 #119
From what I've read about this guy he had a mental disorder, and had only ever approached a woman Erose999 May 2014 #122
Animals can sense when another of their species is not right...and we,too, are animals. Ikonoklast May 2014 #127
He forgot a basic tenet of life: avebury May 2014 #137
A gf would never have saved him miyazaki May 2014 #139
From everything I've seen and read, he probably COULDN'T Taitertots May 2014 #140
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