General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: The Isla Vista shooter COULD have gotten a girlfriend [View all]davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)I used to frequent a forum where the gender war was huge. There were no real moderators, there were no true rules or regulations - which is ultimately why it was shut down, but it exposed a raw, dark side of humanity that most rarely have the chance to see. In the relative anonymity of the internet, people were more or less unafraid to say how they really felt or what they really thought, even when it was extremely disturbing.
I am familiar with what MRA is referring to - but what is PUA?
In any event, most men who went through puberty without having sex (the vast, overwhelming majority of us) probably (at some point) felt something similar to what this shooter felt. Not nearly at the same level in regards to rage, narcissism, and self pity - but some level of resentment towards those we found desirable who perhaps did not find us so. I can't really (no man I have ever known could) put it into words in a way that makes sense, that does not sound despicable, twisted, or somehow very disgusting. So I won't really try.
Were it not for the standards and expectations of society - and the fear of imprisonment, young men in puberty would be walking around humping rocks, trees, doors - anything available. It is a desire, an urge that most simply do not understand, because our society (particularly in conservative christian communities) tends to be very hush hush about sex and certain urges. It tends to keep it hidden in the closet, so to speak. Oh yes, we have media, porn, movies and television and magazines galore... but the human to human element tends to be rather lacking, if that makes any sense. I don't mean that kids in puberty should be running around having sex (though this happens plenty) but that in an enlightened society, they would understand it much better.
A whole lot of the problems with our society (IMO) result from the fact that we are not more open about sexuality. Then of course, there's also the guilt inspired by religion which creates all kinds of other issues.
None of this though, could ever begin to excuse the crimes this man committed. When we look at the oppression of women from a historical - and even often a modern point of view, it is at times rather shocking that any of them at all want anything at all to do with men. This Isla Vista shooter is a rather ugly example of why. The danger, the perversion, the twisted mind that somehow felt as if he were entitled to things he did not earn or deserve. It wasn't about having a girlfriend, it was about "Woe is me, they do not see my greatness as I do! They do see me as the supreme being of the universe as I do! Well then, I'll just have to prove myself superior in a blaze of glory!"
This was an arrogant, self pitying coward who was well on his way towards solipsism. I do not mourn his loss, but I do grieve for the families of those he killed.
I don't know what the solution is to men like these - or even if there is one. I will say though... that I feel that Christianity is largely at fault for the way it views sex and paints women as objects, suggests to men that they are "superior", or, "masterful". Often I feel that the bible is not the work of some supreme being, or divinely inspired human being - but the fantasy writings of the most severe misogynists in history. A whole lot of historical and religious texts are very similar.