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In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]Samantha
(9,314 posts)You are very much needed here. If everyone who had a relative with a serious mental disorder left, who would defend the rights of those who struggle?
I know how you feel because my sister was much as you describe your brother in manner. Originally, she was diagnosed as bipolar. Over the years, she took lithium which did stabilize her. However, after about 20 years, she had to be taken off of it. There is no true substitute for lithium. Doctors tried different cocktails and/or blends, and some worked to a certain extent, but others did not.
I loved my sister very much. I was not satisfied she was getting the best of care, so I asked my brother-in-law if I could take her to another doctor. He agreed. I took her to a very successful doctor in this field who had a wonderful reputation. After talking with her, he spoke with me. He could not for privacy reasons say exactly what he thought, but he asked me the question, "Has anyone ever used the word "schizophrenia" with relationship to your sister's health? I replied no, but I was stunned. How could she have seen so many different doctors over the years and at this late date this word arises?
I did as much as I could for her. She was a sweet, mild mannered person when she was herself. She was also extremely intelligent. But no matter how much I did, I could never do enough. I could never make her world right for her.
One night when she was in the hospital for what I call "routine maintenance" -- meaning she was being treated for a female problem as opposed to having had a breakdown, my sister suffered a heart attack. Because she had not been being monitored, no one found her until the next morning. By then she was brain dead.
I have never been ashamed of my sister, and it would not matter to me in the least if people on a website made statements about her that I found offensive. I am pretty good at compartmentalizing. I knew her. I knew her inner self. I knew her health problems. And I certainly knew the medical communities shortcomings in treating her -- by that I mean properly diagnosing her at the first sign of trouble.
I hope you stay here. You are indeed needed, and you should not leave because of ignorant statements which were made about your brother. Here is the thing: we have all experienced pain and hurts from things that have sometimes been said on such a large website with thousands of posters. We take it and we get over it. And we live to fight another day on this same website because the good far outweighs the bad.
I beg you to stay.
Sam