General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: I'm done, too. [View all]Erich Bloodaxe BSN
(14,733 posts)First, I stand corrected, that was indeed how I interpreted what you wrote, not what you meant - now that you've expanded upon it a lot more, I understand much more what you actually meant the first time around. So better that I had specifically said, something along the lines of 'Here is what I get from what you wrote' rather than 'what you said', which was a lazy way for me to try and restate what you were trying to transmit to me.
'We women have been told, consistently, regularly...' Why? From whom? "it is merely used to dismiss what i say."
Not from me it isn't. From me, it's coming directly from my own observations of how I actually get my own points across far more easily, and with greater force when I speak respectfully, without anger or sarcasm. And from my nursing textbooks on dealing with difficult patients, and generally improving 'therapeutic communication'. Every single day in a clinical setting, you're dealing with scared people, with angry people, with ignorant people. People who don't want to do what you need them to, even what's good for them. Responding with negative emotions only escalates situations and leads to greater discord, and will eventually get you fired.
And, I think if you reread my comments, you won't find the words 'gently', 'nicely' or 'stroking egos'. There's a difference between 'coddling' ignorance, and injecting negative emotions into your messages.
Finally, I wasn't specifically trying to choose situations with 'oppressor' and 'oppressed' for my examples - again, I was lazy enough to simply grab off easy and recent examples of conflict. If you want to flip the sides around, that's fine.
Do I think it 'was worth it'? I think we have yet to see if it was. Is there going to be any real change that comes out of it? Or will it be just fade back into the status quo? We saw a lot of anger after Trayvon Martin, and nothing changed. We saw a LOT of anger after Newtown, and guess what? Nothing really changed. More 'pro-gun' laws were passed in the wake of the Newtown Massacre than 'anti-gun' laws.
So will what happened in Ferguson actually change anything? Has it been 'effective'? The polls don't seem to be showing any real change. I don't know, but if it does, it will be because of the work of people who know how to harness their anger, like Reverend Sharpton.