General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Do fathers still expect to be asked permission to marry their daughter? Is this a sexist tradition? [View all]exboyfil
(17,862 posts)My daughter's fiance asked me. I said it was entirely up to her, but that I thought he was a good man and would make a good husband. Per his request I told no one including my wife or daughter that he had asked me. At some point marriage does appear the logical next step in relationships so it came as no surprise when he popped the question this summer. My daughter has a ring and they are setting a date. They will both be graduating in Mechanical Engineering this May. My daughter will be finishing her B.S. as a magna cum laude two years after graduating high school.
I am somewhat troubled by my daughter's willingness to subsume her career to her fiance's. She already received a job offer from the company she interned with for two summers. She has the chance to be at my pay level in the company within five years if she commits to them, but she is already planning to make do with whatever will be in the area of her finance's job. She will be graduating without debt while her finance will have a sizable student loan. I thought it would be prudent for her to consider separate finances, but she did not want to hear it. Now the young man in question is more traditional than I would care for, but he is a hard worker and he is getting a very good degree from a good college. My daughter seems very much in love with him (he is the first person she has ever dated).
I asked my wife's father as well when I got engaged to my spouse. It is something that my wife wished for me. I do have to wonder what I would have done if he had said no. I was a degreed engineer, but I come from something of rough background (illegitimate birth, alcoholic parents, lots of divorces in my family). I know my FIL and MIL had their concerns, but we have been married for 28 years now.